How To Handle A Stubborn Negotiation Partner

"We will pay you $75K this year and $110K next year.” I’ve helped candidates negotiate six-figure salaries, remote flexibility, and better perks. Even when employers initially resisted. Well... negotiations often hit a standstill when both sides are holding firm. The employer won’t budge, and the employee doesn’t want to compromise. So how do you move forward without losing what matters most? 1️⃣ Understand their WHY. Your employer isn’t just being difficult. They have reasons, maybe budget constraints, company culture, and managerial oversight. If they insist on in-office work, maybe they’re worried about productivity. If they push back on salary, maybe they’re balancing multiple hires. 2️⃣ Reframe the discussion. Instead of saying, "I can only do remote", say "I’ll provide daily Loom updates to showcase my work and keep communication transparent." This way, they don’t feel like they’re losing control. They’re gaining certainty. 3️⃣ Propose a step-up structure. If they claim they can’t meet your salary, introduce a phased increase: "What if we start at $75K now, with a structured raise to $110K next year based on performance?" Now, you’re giving them flexibility while ensuring you get the pay you deserve. 4️⃣ Negotiate beyond salary. If they won’t budge on pay, shift the focus. More vacation? Training budget? Performance-based bonuses? There are multiple levers to pull. The goal isn’t to win. It’s to walk away happy. No one gets 100% of what they want, But the best negotiators ensure both sides leave with a deal that feels fair. If your negotiation is stuck, shift from demands to solutions. That’s how you break the deadlock.

When I'm negotiating, I tend to AGREE with the other side. Sounds counter-intuitive. But it's enabled me to close 7-figure settlements. Most lawyers think negotiations are about being tough, standing your ground, and not giving an inch. I take the opposite approach: tactical empathy. Here's how it works. When opposing counsel says something like, "That's a ridiculous settlement demand. We can never possibly pay that much," I don't fight back. Instead, I validate them: "I can see why you would say that. I'm sorry for that. What can I do to come up with an offer that makes sense for you? My client is unfortunately stuck here." Their reaction? Complete confusion. They're prepared for a fight. They've got their counterarguments lined up. But when I validate their feelings instead, their entire script falls apart. The best part? They start giving me information I can use to negotiate against them. When faced with validation instead of opposition, lawyers suddenly start explaining their real constraints, their client's actual position, and sometimes even what number they might actually be able to get approved. All because I didn't argue. I've found this approach works especially well on lawyers because they don't even know what's happening. They're so used to adversarial negotiations that genuine validation short-circuits their usual approach. The key elements: • Validate their emotions • Acknowledge their position • Ask questions instead of making demands • Keep validating even when they try to be difficult This isn't just about being nice – it's strategic. By removing the confrontation, you force them to either engage constructively or look unreasonable. Next time you're in a difficult negotiation, try validation instead of opposition. It feels counterintuitive, but the results speak for themselves. After all, the goal isn't to win the argument – it's to get what your client needs.

If you want to close more deals: Stop fighting with difficult people. - Some buyers are aggressive. - Some sellers are stubborn. - Some people just make deals harder. But the truth is that: Most people aren’t difficult for no reason. I worked on a deal with a buyer who kept saying, “Delays kill deals.” He wanted everything, contracts, due diligence, meetings immediately, even nights and weekends. At first, I thought he was wrong. His urgency frustrated the seller and their attorney. It was doing more harm than good. I was ready to push back. But then I asked: Why does he feel this way? Turns out, his last deal fell apart because the seller dragged things out, and then picked another buyer. He wasn’t being unreasonable. He was reacting to past pain. Once I reassured him he was the only buyer, everything changed. The tension disappeared. The deal moved forward. And that’s when I learned something crucial: Difficult people aren’t always difficult. They’re protecting themselves from something you don’t see. Here’s what I took away: 1) You don’t have to like their approach to see where they’re coming from. 2) You don’t have to agree with someone to understand them. 3) You don’t have to prove them wrong to move forward. Success isn’t about being right. It’s about listening, adapting, and seeing the bigger picture. Next time you’re in a conflict, ask yourself: Am I reacting, or am I actually listening? It might just save your deal or a relationship.  

Sick of hearing “no” in negotiations? These five fixes will turn rejections into wins. Understand why your negotiations fail, and gain powerful strategies to flip rejections into confident agreements. After decades of coaching global leaders through tough negotiations, I’ve learned a crucial truth: Most rejections aren’t about your offer, they’re about your negotiation approach. Here are honest lessons from my own painful negotiation mistakes, paired with clear, actionable fixes: 🔴 Mistake #1: Selling instead of solving Early in my career, I passionately pitched a partnership that was quickly rejected, it served my interests, not theirs. High stakes and embarrassment followed. ✅ Action: Never pitch without first asking clearly: “What outcomes matter most to you?” 🔴 Mistake #2: Ego over empathy Confidently proposing strict terms to demonstrate professionalism backfired when the client felt disrespected. Immediate rejection taught me, empathy beats ego every time. ✅ Action: Clearly show respect and collaboration: “Your insights are vital; let’s build this together.” 🔴 Mistake #3: Ignoring their better alternatives A major deal slipped through my fingers because I overlooked my client’s superior alternative (BATNA). My silence made my proposal irrelevant and costly. ✅ Action: Address alternatives directly: “I recognize you have other strong options; here’s why my offer uniquely benefits you.” 🔴 Mistake #4: Threatening their reputation I once had a deal collapse because accepting it would’ve undermined my counterpart’s internal credibility. A painful oversight I won’t forget. ✅ Action: Actively protect their reputation: “How can we structure this deal to enhance your internal credibility?” 🔴 Mistake #5: Losing trust Repeated rejections from a key client taught me they had lost trust due to hidden risks. Transparency became my essential tool for successful negotiations. ✅ Action: Be radically transparent: “These are the risks; let’s address them openly and together.” Rejection isn’t failure, it’s your best negotiation guide when you decode it clearly. What’s your go-to strategy for overcoming negotiation rejection? If this helped you rethink how you handle rejection don’t keep it to yourself! Repost, comment, or tag someone who needs to read this today. ♻️ 

Today's contract tip is about dealing with stalled negotiations. An attorney wrote to me to share his frustration that the other side on a deal had restored the language that he'd deleted six times. Neither party was moving. It was a classic case of brinkmanship, with each attorney waiting it out to see who would blink first. When we are making progress in a negotiation on the other provisions, I don't necessarily see a lot of back and forth on a single provision as a bad thing. If we aren't making progress and don't have an easy resolution in sight, I often suggest that we defer any further discussion of the issue until the end. Then I'll put the disputed language or section in brackets with a note that it is on hold. I find this approach often does the trick. It takes the pressure off and allows us time to resolve other parts of the contract. With the other issues mostly resolved, it is a lot easier to settle the handful of difficult ones left. If a delay isn't an option, I may do the opposite and make it front and center. I'd set up a call with the other side to discuss that one provision. The key in these cases is to get past the wording and talk about each side's worries about risk and consequences. Then we brainstorm together on ways to address the concerns. If we reach the end of the negotiation and still haven't decided, then I have that talk with the decision-maker on my side if I do not have the final say on it. I explain why I pushed back and what the risks are. Then that person makes the call. Do you have an approach to stalled negotiations that you like to use? #HowToContract #lawyers #contracts

She grilled me for 90 minutes. Argued on price, terms, and payment. Then signed a $120K deal the next day. The negotiation call was scheduled for 30 minutes. It lasted 97. Our first deal of the quarter, and it was going terribly. The VP challenged everything: – Demanded 90-day payment terms when we needed 30 – Pushed for a 22% discount on already-tight pricing – Questioned our data retention periods line by line – Asked for custom SLAs we'd never offered before My palms were sweating. At one point, she said: "This is simply too expensive for what you're offering." I almost caved. Almost offered that extra discount. Instead, I took a breath and asked: "Can you help me understand what specifically your team is trying to build?" What followed was a 40-minute deep dive into their actual problems. The real cost of missed insights in their customer calls. The manual work their team was doing. The tone completely shifted. She ended with: "Let me think about this overnight." I was sure we'd lost it. But at 6:42 AM the next day, the signed contract hit my inbox. With a note: "Thanks for taking the time yesterday. Your team clearly understands our challenges." One year later, they've renewed twice and expanded to a $340K account. That day changed how I view "difficult" negotiations: When someone pushes this hard, they're not trying to kill the deal. They're trying to make it work so that they can buy. Now when negotiations get tough, I see it for what it really is: Not resistance. Commitment. What's a deal you thought you were losing... that became your best customer?