Best Ways To Approach Negotiation With A Distrustful Partner

I had Nick Glimsdahl on the Negotiate Anything Podcast and we were talking about skepticism in the world of business and sales. The conclusion we came to was that since many of us feel like we are constantly being marketed to, we shut down much faster when we sense this happening. This is a frequent occurrence for those in the sales industry. Potential clients start to feel like the only reason you are being friendly is so that you can sell them something. So how do we overcome this skepticism? By breaking predictable patterns. So, here’s an example: Let’s say in a typical sales interaction, you would begin by offering some free advice or asking them about some problem they are having. There’s a high likelihood that many of the people you speak with will assume that you are only offering to help them as a tactic to eventually persuade them to purchase something. This only increases their skepticism and blocks their willingness to listen to what you have to say. In this case, the predictable behavior would be doing just that. Simply asking questions with the goal of turning the conversation towards a sales pitch. So here is something you can do instead. Be genuinely generous, not strategically generous. Create goodwill in the relationship by helping people without expecting something in return. Then, follow your genuine curiosity with authentic advice. One thing Nick likes to say in situations like this is: “Regardless of which company you decide to go with, [Product X]  would be a good decision because of….” It’s the consultative sales process that helps you to be seen as a trusted advisor. Once they realize that you are offering advice without the expectation of anything in return, it makes them more likely to trust you. Ironically, this increases your odds of securing them as a client, in the moment or at some point in the future. #Negotiation #Sales #Business

When I'm negotiating, I tend to AGREE with the other side. Sounds counter-intuitive. But it's enabled me to close 7-figure settlements. Most lawyers think negotiations are about being tough, standing your ground, and not giving an inch. I take the opposite approach: tactical empathy. Here's how it works. When opposing counsel says something like, "That's a ridiculous settlement demand. We can never possibly pay that much," I don't fight back. Instead, I validate them: "I can see why you would say that. I'm sorry for that. What can I do to come up with an offer that makes sense for you? My client is unfortunately stuck here." Their reaction? Complete confusion. They're prepared for a fight. They've got their counterarguments lined up. But when I validate their feelings instead, their entire script falls apart. The best part? They start giving me information I can use to negotiate against them. When faced with validation instead of opposition, lawyers suddenly start explaining their real constraints, their client's actual position, and sometimes even what number they might actually be able to get approved. All because I didn't argue. I've found this approach works especially well on lawyers because they don't even know what's happening. They're so used to adversarial negotiations that genuine validation short-circuits their usual approach. The key elements: • Validate their emotions • Acknowledge their position • Ask questions instead of making demands • Keep validating even when they try to be difficult This isn't just about being nice – it's strategic. By removing the confrontation, you force them to either engage constructively or look unreasonable. Next time you're in a difficult negotiation, try validation instead of opposition. It feels counterintuitive, but the results speak for themselves. After all, the goal isn't to win the argument – it's to get what your client needs.

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲. We once had to shut down four city blocks in downtown Phoenix for a private Macklemore concert. On the surface, it sounds like logistics. In reality, it was about trust. It took a month meeting with city departments, knocking on doors, and listening to city employees who mostly wanted to help the public, get a paycheck and benefits, plus not lose their job. Each had their own concerns: safety, traffic, liability or what would their boss do to them. Instead of pushing my agenda, I focused on their pain points and showed that I understood what mattered to them.  After the month of planning, we started at 2:15 the morning of the concert, to set up - they would not let us close the roads, then I convinced them it was okay, after the bars closed. That’s how you move big, complicated projects forward. Not with pressure. Not with shortcuts, instead - by giving people confidence that you see them, hear them, and will protect their interests (if nothing else, that they won’t get fired, their kids will be okay and life will be good). The principle is simple. 𝐈𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. Whether you’re closing a deal, running a campaign, or trying to get four blocks of a city to shut down, the foundation is the same: trust built through listening. What’s one way you’ve built trust in a tough negotiation? #Trust #Negotiation #DealMaking #TILTTheRoom #MediaLaw #Macklemore Christopher Voss Kwame Christian, Esq., M.A. Alexandra Carter Dr. Robert Cialdini Scott Tillema