Approaches For Negotiating With Difficult Personalities

When I'm negotiating, I tend to AGREE with the other side. Sounds counter-intuitive. But it's enabled me to close 7-figure settlements. Most lawyers think negotiations are about being tough, standing your ground, and not giving an inch. I take the opposite approach: tactical empathy. Here's how it works. When opposing counsel says something like, "That's a ridiculous settlement demand. We can never possibly pay that much," I don't fight back. Instead, I validate them: "I can see why you would say that. I'm sorry for that. What can I do to come up with an offer that makes sense for you? My client is unfortunately stuck here." Their reaction? Complete confusion. They're prepared for a fight. They've got their counterarguments lined up. But when I validate their feelings instead, their entire script falls apart. The best part? They start giving me information I can use to negotiate against them. When faced with validation instead of opposition, lawyers suddenly start explaining their real constraints, their client's actual position, and sometimes even what number they might actually be able to get approved. All because I didn't argue. I've found this approach works especially well on lawyers because they don't even know what's happening. They're so used to adversarial negotiations that genuine validation short-circuits their usual approach. The key elements: • Validate their emotions • Acknowledge their position • Ask questions instead of making demands • Keep validating even when they try to be difficult This isn't just about being nice – it's strategic. By removing the confrontation, you force them to either engage constructively or look unreasonable. Next time you're in a difficult negotiation, try validation instead of opposition. It feels counterintuitive, but the results speak for themselves. After all, the goal isn't to win the argument – it's to get what your client needs.

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

As leaders, we often have to deal with more than just managing projects...we have to manage people, and not all of them are easy to work with 👀 Whether it’s a toxic colleague, a difficult client, or someone who thrives on conflict, these situations can derail progress if you’re not equipped to handle them effectively... 🟠 One technique to help you with this is the D.E.E.P technique. ➡️This communication strategy helps you stay composed, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into unnecessary conflict. ❊ 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆: 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱: When you’re dealing with someone who’s pushing your buttons—especially a toxic personality—resist the urge to defend yourself. In the workplace, defending every decision or action often just fuels the fire. Remember, toxic individuals often don’t care about your reasoning; they care about controlling the conversation. As a leader, your energy is better spent on moving the team forward, not justifying every move. Practice detachment and stay focused on your bigger goals. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲: Difficult personalities thrive on drawing you into their chaos. It’s easy to get pulled into emotional battles, especially if it feels personal. But as a leader, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: Is engaging with this person productive, or is it a drain on my energy? Often, disengagement—keeping responses minimal and factual—takes away the power they have over you. By not engaging emotionally, you keep the conversation focused on solutions, not drama. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻: It’s tempting to over-explain yourself, especially if you’re someone who values fairness and clarity. But toxic individuals usually aren’t looking for understanding; they’re looking for control. Over-explaining only feeds that need. Keep your responses clear, direct, and to the point. You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification, especially when your leadership decisions are based on sound judgment. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲: One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a leader is that not everything is about me. It can feel personal when someone’s being difficult, but toxic behavior often has more to do with the person causing it than the person on the receiving end. Don’t take it personally. Detach from their negativity, and remember: your leadership is defined by how you manage these situations, not by their opinion of you. •••••• The more time you spend defending, engaging, and explaining, the less time you actually spend leading effectively. Ultimately, leadership 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁; it’s about knowing which battles are worth your energy and which aren’t. Difficult personalities will always exist, but they don’t have to shake your leadership 🙏🏻