Listening Skills That Make Negotiation More Inclusive

When I started working in corporate, my biggest fear was going to meetings and not saying a single word. This changed when I shifted my approach. Whenever I joined meetings, I felt the unprecedented pressure of contributing, and my mind was always racing to find something to speak about. Then someone told me that if you don't have something to contribute, think of questions. Then, my mind was racing to find good questions. But eventually, I noticed the best leaders around me. They did something different → they came in, stayed quiet, and just listened before they said anything. Earlier, all my efforts were going towards finding something that I could say. After my observation, I practiced shifting my approach towards becoming a good listener first. I realized that I had to put my user researcher hat on. This change in approach not only alleviated the pressure to speak but also enhanced my ability to contribute meaningfully when I did decide to share my thoughts. What I found works best to become a better listener: 1/ Practice "empty-cup listening": Walk into every conversation assuming you might learn something new. Drop your mental to-do list, that running checklist of points you want to make, and focus only on understanding. 2/ Master the "3-second rule": After someone finishes speaking, wait three full seconds before responding. This slight pause shows respect and often encourages people to share deeper thoughts. 3/ Use the "mirror technique": Briefly summarize what you heard and ask if you got it right. Say something like, "So what I'm hearing is..." This shows you're genuinely paying attention. 4/ Watch the “white space”: Notice what people aren't saying. Their hesitations and pauses often hold the most valuable insights. When someone hesitates before saying "yes" to a deadline, they're probably seeing risks they're afraid to mention. By listening first, we can gather more context, understand different perspectives, and make more informed contributions. Teams also work better when their leader is a good listener. When leaders model this behavior, it signals that the team values quality over quantity in communication. So, are you a good listener? What are some listening techniques that you practice? #communication #Leadership #Trust #Growth

Listening is necessary. Listening is complex. And listening neuroinclusively 🦋🧠 ♾ requires letting go of biases. In this article, I discuss how managers (but also people, in general) could develop neuroinclusive listening skills. This requires letting go of biases, such as biased interpretation of body language and the habit of looking for hidden cues where there are none - just honest and straightforward communication. 🦋🧠 ♾ Neurodivergent Body Language It is crucial to avoid assumptions: for instance, limited eye contact from an autistic person might not signify disinterest – it might be a sign of focusing on the content of communication. Likewise, an autistic person or ADHDer might fidget not out of impatience and definitely not out of disrespect, but as a self-regulation mechanism. Focus on what the neurodivergent person is saying, and do not be distracted by trying to read their body language, unless something appears to be a clear sign of discomfort. In that case, it could make sense to ask directly how someone is feeling, rather than jump to a conclusion – they might be stressed by the topic of your discussion, or they might simply be cold. Understanding what is happening can help address concerns immediately and make necessary adjustments. 🦋🧠 ♾Unique Communication Needs Some employees may prefer written interactions that involve technology and asynchronous communication that allows time for careful expression of points. To support these employees, managers then can communicate active listening via written, verbal, and especially action follow-up. Inclusive listening is a must for inclusive workplaces. #neurodiversity #management #HumanResources #communication #employees #EmotionalIntelligence #culture #inclusion #PsychologicalSafety #diversityequityinclusion #neuroinclusion #neurodiversityatwork #listening #activelistening #actuallyautistic #Autistic #Adhd #autism #neuroinclusive #managers #leaders #inclusiveleadership #leadership https://lnkd.in/gUTTFQyk

Want the powerful technique that journalists, detectives, and Harvard’s negotiation experts use to dig deeper in conversation? It’s called looping for understanding. And it’s a simple 4 step process: 1. Ask Questions Specifically, open ended questions to uncover their perspective. Something like: “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?” 2. Listen The most important part, let them finish their point. Listen all the way to the end. Listen beyond words, watch for their body language and any underlying themes. If they say, “I feel like I’m always the one fixing mistakes.” You might notice that the phrase “always the one.” is an indicator of frustration or unmet expectations. 3. Respond It's not enough just to listen, your time will come. Follow it up with a brief reflection, their point in your words. “It sounds like you’re frustrated because you feel the workload isn’t balanced, and you’re picking up the slack.” 4. Check An important add on to your listening process, check if you got it right, then ask them to clarify if not. “Is that how you see it, or would you explain it differently?” This last step builds trust and allows the other person to refine or expand on their perspective. ------- Anything you'd add? First time seeing a post from me? Follow Matt Mosich for much more. And, if you found this helpful, repost it to help someone in your network too.