Effective Communication in Negotiation

I used to believe that being assertive meant being aggressive. The reality is that you can both assert yourself and be kind. 5 proven tips to be more assertive (without being aggressive): 1/ Express your needs and wants clearly Why: Being direct and honest about your needs helps others understand your perspective and enables them to respond appropriately. It demonstrates self-respect and confidence in your own opinions and feelings. How: "I appreciate your input on this project, but I strongly believe we should take a different approach. Focusing on user experience will lead to better conversion. Can we discuss how we can incorporate both of our ideas?" 2/ Use "I" statements to communicate your perspective Why: "I" statements help you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or making accusations. They create a non-confrontational atmosphere that encourages open dialogue and mutual understanding. How: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this presentation, but I have some concerns about the accuracy of the data. I suggest we review the sources together and make any necessary updates to strengthen our case." 3/ Practice active listening and seek to understand others Why: Active listening demonstrates that you value others' perspectives and are willing to engage in a two-way conversation. It helps build trust and rapport, making it easier to find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I hear your concerns about the proposed changes to our team structure. Can you tell me more about how these changes will impact your work? I want to ensure that we address any potential issues." 4/ Offer solutions Why: Offering solutions rather than simply stating problems demonstrates your willingness to work collaboratively and find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I understand that you want to launch the new feature as soon as possible, but I have concerns about the current timeline. What if we break the launch into two phases? We can release the core functionality in the first phase and then add the additional enhancements in the second phase. This way, we can meet the initial deadline while ensuring the quality of the final product." 5/ Learn to say "No" when necessary Why: Saying "no" to unreasonable requests or demands demonstrates self-respect and helps you maintain control over your time and resources. It also helps prevent burnout and enables you to focus on your priorities. How: "I appreciate you considering me for this new project, but unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to take on additional work at the moment. I'm committed to delivering high-quality results on my current projects, and taking on more would compromise this. Can we revisit this opportunity in a few weeks when my workload is more manageable?" What’s one thing that helped you become more assertive? PS: Assertiveness is a form of self-care that also nurtures healthy, respectful relationships with others. Image Credit: Jenny Nurick

You can't avoid difficult people, But you CAN learn to handle them: Some people test your patience. Others test your professionalism. These 16 do's and don'ts will let you stay calm, clear, and in control - Without losing yourself in the process: 1. When they're being aggressive ↳Do: Hold firm and say, "I'm willing to talk when this is respectful" ↳Don't: Escalate or tolerate abuse 2. When someone interrupts you ↳Do: Say, "Let me finish my thought - then I want to hear your take" ↳Don't: Talk over them or shut down 3. When it gets personal ↳Do: Say, "Let's stay focused on the problem, not personal stuff" ↳Don't: Take the bait or retaliate 4. When criticism feels harsh ↳Do: Look for the useful piece or the best possible interpretation ↳Don't: Get defensive or shut down 5. When they won't listen ↳Do: Ask questions and seek understanding ↳Don't: Lecture or steamroll 6. When they push a bad idea ↳Do: Ask, "What's the best next step we can agree on?" ↳Don't: Keep arguing just to win 7. When it's going in circles ↳Do: Say, "Let's pause and revisit when we're ready" ↳Don't: Keep pushing through unproductive tension 8. When they disagree strongly ↳Do: Acknowledge their view and find common ground ↳Don't: Try to force instant agreement 9. When you need to set a boundary ↳Do: Be clear, direct, and respectful ↳Don't: Hint, avoid, or explode 10. When they're thinking illogically ↳Do: Ask, "What evidence supports that?" ↳Don't: Let emotion override reason 11. When you're triggered ↳Do: Take a breath and pause before you speak ↳Don't: Let it leak into your tone or words 12. When someone avoids the issue ↳Do: Raise it directly but gently ↳Don't: Hope it just goes away 13. When there's tension but no talk ↳Do: Invite a calm, open conversation ↳Don't: Ignore the elephant in the room 14. When feedback is needed ↳Do: Be honest and specific, not personal ↳Don't: Sugarcoat or criticize vaguely 15. When your values are crossed ↳Do: Stand firm with grace ↳Don't: Compromise your integrity to avoid conflict 16. When there's resistance ↳Do: Ask, "What concerns are holding us back?" ↳Don't: Bulldoze or dismiss hesitation You don't have to match their energy. You just have to manage your own. Any other tips you'd add? --- ♻️ Repost to help someone in your network who needs this right now. And follow me George Stern for more professional growth content.

A rep called me frustrated. "I ask all the right questions, but they clam up after 10 minutes. Discovery feels like pulling teeth." I listened to her last call. She was doing everything "right" according to most sales training. Except for one thing. She was treating discovery like an interrogation instead of a conversation. Here's what I told her: Stop trying to get everything in 30 minutes. You're not a police detective gathering evidence. Instead, go deep on what matters most → their pain. Three questions that changed her entire approach: "What's driving this to be a priority right now?" "What happens if you don't solve this in the next 6 months?" "How is this impacting you personally?" Notice something? No questions about budget. No stakeholder mapping. No buying process. Just pain. Deep, emotional, get-them-talking pain. Here's what happened on next call: Prospect spent 20 minutes explaining their challenges. Shared things she never heard before. Got emotional about the daily frustration. Old Rep would've panicked: "I didn't get the buying process info!" New Rep said: "Based on everything you've shared, this sounds complex. Let's schedule another call to walk through how companies typically solve this." Prospect immediately agreed. Why? Because she proved she understood their world. The follow up call? Prospect brought their boss. Shared budget range. Outlined their evaluation timeline. All because the first call was about them, not about her information gathering checklist. Look, I get it. Sales methodology says you need certain data points. But prospects don't care about your methodology. They care about feeling understood. When you nail the pain, everything else flows naturally. The reps's close rate went from 18% to 29% just by changing her discovery approach. Same questions. Same product. Different mindset. Sales VPs: teach your reps to be consultants, not interrogators. The reps who master this thinking close bigger deals because they uncover the real emotional drivers behind every purchase decision. Ever noticed how your best discovery calls feel more like therapy sessions than sales calls? Strange, isn’t it? 😎 — How 700+ clients closed $950 million using THIS 6 step demo script: https://lnkd.in/eVb32BUx

You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate. And staying silent can cost you up to $1.5 million over your career. Having coached 100s of executives to land $200k - $500k jobs they love, I've learned: Most people don’t get underpaid because they lack experience. They get underpaid because they use the wrong words. One weak phrase can cost you $50k+ instantly. And that compounds over time. ❌ Lower raises. ❌ Smaller bonuses. ❌ Less equity. Your negotiation language sets the baseline for everything that follows. If you catch yourself saying things like "I'm flexible on compensation," stop right there. Here are 3 powerful phrase swaps that changed the game for my clients: ❌ Never: "I just really need this job."  ✅ Instead: "I'm excited about the opportunity and would like to ensure the compensation aligns with the value I bring." ❌ Never: "I'm currently making X at my job."  ✅ Instead: "Based on my research of similar roles, I'm seeing a range of X to Y. How does that align with your budget?" ❌ Never: "I'd be willing to take less to get started."  ✅ Instead: "I'm very interested in this position and would like to work together to finalize the compensation." See the difference? You're not being difficult. You're being specific. You're not demanding more. You're defining your worth. Because every weak phrase you use doesn't just cost you now. It compounds for decades. And a few powerful words today can change your entire trajectory. Reshare ♻️ to help someone in your network. And give me a follow for more posts like this. ($1.5M stat source: Forbes & Business Insider)

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

Listening is necessary. Listening is complex. And listening neuroinclusively 🦋🧠 ♾ requires letting go of biases. In this article, I discuss how managers (but also people, in general) could develop neuroinclusive listening skills. This requires letting go of biases, such as biased interpretation of body language and the habit of looking for hidden cues where there are none - just honest and straightforward communication. 🦋🧠 ♾ Neurodivergent Body Language It is crucial to avoid assumptions: for instance, limited eye contact from an autistic person might not signify disinterest – it might be a sign of focusing on the content of communication. Likewise, an autistic person or ADHDer might fidget not out of impatience and definitely not out of disrespect, but as a self-regulation mechanism. Focus on what the neurodivergent person is saying, and do not be distracted by trying to read their body language, unless something appears to be a clear sign of discomfort. In that case, it could make sense to ask directly how someone is feeling, rather than jump to a conclusion – they might be stressed by the topic of your discussion, or they might simply be cold. Understanding what is happening can help address concerns immediately and make necessary adjustments. 🦋🧠 ♾Unique Communication Needs Some employees may prefer written interactions that involve technology and asynchronous communication that allows time for careful expression of points. To support these employees, managers then can communicate active listening via written, verbal, and especially action follow-up. Inclusive listening is a must for inclusive workplaces. #neurodiversity #management #HumanResources #communication #employees #EmotionalIntelligence #culture #inclusion #PsychologicalSafety #diversityequityinclusion #neuroinclusion #neurodiversityatwork #listening #activelistening #actuallyautistic #Autistic #Adhd #autism #neuroinclusive #managers #leaders #inclusiveleadership #leadership https://lnkd.in/gUTTFQyk

Management isn't about having all the answers. It's often about using a perfectly timed question. Here are 7 questions for the hardest management moments (and tactics you can apply to any situation)... Why are questions superior to directives? - Engage: Your team wants to help & to be heard. - Empower: You're role-modeling vulnerability & respect. - Enlighten: You'll generate more data for better decisions. You'll notice I use a similar pattern: Label + Question - Label: It's a negotiation tactic. If you say "It seems like you're upset" they pause to question if that's true, diffusing the emotion. - Question: I make them open-ended. I want to get them talking and surface data, ideally their underlying 'Why.' ⬇️⬇️⬇️ 1. Moment: Your star employee just told you about a competing offer. Question: Jen, I appreciate that you feel comfortable discussing this with me. What role would you like me to play in reviewing this possibility with you? 2. Moment: You just gave critical feedback, and they’ve clearly shut down. Question: Bill, I sense I’ve upset you. What piece of feedback was most off of the mark? 3. Moment: You’ve found a great candidate you want to hire, and they’re about to leave for the day. Question: Sally, I know you are almost out the door, and it’s been a long day. If we made you the offer to come on board, what would stop you from saying 'Yes'? 4. Moment: Your idea has been called out as stupid by a subordinate in a large meeting. Question: One of the things I like most about working with Amanda is that we have agreed to always tell the truth. Amanda, let me have it. How did I mess this up? What did I overlook? 5. Moment: Your boss just asked you to take on work your team has no capacity for. Question: Gina, this sounds like a top priority. Given that the team is already overcapacity, which of our current initiatives do you think we should pause to make space for it? 6. Moment: You just finished delegating a critical piece of work. Question: Jim, it sounds like you're ready to give this a go. What is the best way for me to stay close enough to help ensure your success?" 7. Moment: You just gave a raise, and your employee is disappointed. Question: Sahil, I'm sensing you feel there's some distance between this raise and what you think you deserve. Help me understand how you thought about what was fair and what I may have missed. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Play the game yourself: Think back to a sticky, awkward moment. Replay it, only this time: -> Don't react (with words or body language) -> Acknowledge & diffuse by labeling their reaction -> Offer a question that surfaces as much info as possible Better or worse outcome? If you found this helpful, you'll like my free newsletter even more. Subscribe: mgmt.beehiiv.com Get 70+ practical playbooks to help you manage more effectively. And please repost ♻️ and follow Dave Kline for daily leadership coaching.

Negotiations don’t go wrong—they start wrong. Through my experience, I can often tell within the first 30 minutes whether a negotiation will take a collaborative or positional direction. The early signals—the tone, structure, and mindset of the parties—set the course for either value creation or value extraction. Too often, negotiations begin with adversarial positioning, where each side stakes out demands, focuses on "winning," and sees concessions as the primary path to agreement. This zero-sum mentality is where most negotiations start wrong. The problem isn’t what happens later—it’s how we approach the process from the outset. Do you negotiate how to negotiate before you start negotiating? This is a game-changer. Before discussing numbers or terms, set the stage for success. Consider opening with: "I am here today to help you reduce your risk, cost, and liabilities while improving your profits. Would you be interested in having me assist you with this?" This shifts the conversation from position-based bargaining to problem-solving and mutual value creation. SMARTnership® negotiation flips the traditional approach. Instead of defaulting to competitive bargaining, it starts by identifying asymmetric values, trust currency, and hidden gains that can turn the negotiation into a collaborative value-maximizing process. The real difference lies in: ✔ Mindset: Are we here to protect our own turf or explore mutual benefit?  ✔ Communication: Is the focus on claiming or creating value?  ✔ Trust: Is there openness to share real needs, costs, and priorities? If the first 30 minutes are spent staking positions, debating individual gains, or withholding critical information, the negotiation is already off track. But if we establish transparency, mutual benefit, and creative problem-solving early on, we unlock the hidden potential of the deal. Next time you step into a negotiation, ask yourself: Are we starting right? #Negotiation #SMARTnership #ValueCreation #TrustCurrency Tarek Amine Tine Anneberg Francis Goh, FSIArb, FCIArb Francisco Cosme Gražvydas Jukna Juan Manuel García P. Darryl Legault World Commerce & Contracting BMI Executive Institute #negotiationtraining Daniel McLuskie

One of the easiest ways to guide a conversation while still deepening connection is by asking a WHAT or HOW question instead of a WHY. Last week I taught you the power of mirroring—how simply repeating someone’s words back to them can build instant trust. I’m at war with “why.” Why? Because “why” often makes people feel like they’re being interrogated. If you’ve ever been around a curious toddler, you know the feeling. “Why this?” “Why that?” “Why not?” It can wear down even the most patient among us. Now take that same energy into the workplace—imagine you go to your boss and say, “I’d like to take my team out to lunch,” and they respond with: “Why?” It can feel cold or dismissive. Like your idea is on trial. Now imagine they respond with: “What restaurant are you thinking?” or “How will you make sure everyone has a seat?” or “What’s the goal of the lunch?” Feels different, right? It’s supportive. Curious. Constructive. What and how questions open the door to dialogue. They help you lead a conversation without shutting someone down. They build trust and momentum. My invitation for Monday is to avoid WHY at all costs today, and just see how that feels.