How to Build Strong Relationships as an Executive Leader

Most of our interactions—especially the difficult ones—are negotiations in disguise. In their book Beyond Reason, Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro highlight how success in these conversations often comes down to addressing core concerns—deep, often unspoken emotional needs that shape how people engage. These concerns are: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status, and Role. Ignore them, and you’ll likely face resistance, disengagement, or frustration. Acknowledge and address them, and you create the conditions for stronger relationships, better problem-solving, and more win-win outcomes. I’ve learned this the hard way. Appreciation A senior leader I worked with was frustrated by pushback from his team. The problem? He was so focused on driving results that he rarely acknowledged their efforts. Once he started genuinely listening and recognizing their contributions, engagement skyrocketed. The team felt heard, and collaboration improved instantly. Affiliation A new CEO walked into a fractured leadership team—siloed, political, and mistrusting. Instead of pushing quick solutions, she focused on rebuilding connections, creating shared experiences, and reinforcing that they were one team. The shift in culture transformed their ability to work together. Autonomy A department head was drowning in tactical decisions because his team constantly sought approval. By clearly defining goals, setting guardrails, and empowering them to make decisions, he freed up his time and saw his team step up with more confidence and accountability. Status A high-potential leader felt overlooked and disengaged. His boss didn’t give him a raise or a new title but started including him in key strategic meetings. That simple shift in visibility changed everything—he became more invested, more proactive, and took on bigger challenges. Role A VP was struggling, not because of a lack of skill, but because she was in the wrong seat. When her boss recognized this and shifted her to a role better suited to her strengths, she thrived. Sometimes, people don’t need a promotion—they need the right role. Before a tough conversation or leadership decision, check in: - Am I recognizing their efforts? - Making them feel included? - Giving them autonomy? - Acknowledging their status? - Ensuring their role fits? Addressing core concerns isn’t about being nice—it’s about unlocking the best in people. When we do, we create better conversations, stronger teams, and real momentum. #Conversations #Negotiations #CoreConcerns #Interactions #HumanBehavior #Learning #Leadership #Disagreements

A question I often hear from leaders is: "How can I meaningfully contribute to my relationships with stakeholders and peers?" We all know relationships matter. Saying hello, sending a quick Slack message, or checking in occasionally are good starting points, but they don’t always move the needle when it comes to truly strengthening connections. Over the years, I’ve worked with leaders who excel at this, and they all have one thing in common: they focus intentionally on adding value to their relationships. Here are four simple yet impactful ways to contribute: 👉 Share Insights: Provide a thoughtful point of view, a useful resource, or an idea that helps someone in their work. Sharing insights shows your expertise and that you’re invested in their success. 👉 Offer Feedback: Specific, constructive feedback is one of the best ways to help others grow. Whether it’s highlighting what they’re doing well or sharing suggestions for improvement, feedback demonstrates care and attention. 👉 Make Connections: Relationships are currency in many organizations. Introducing someone to a helpful contact—whether inside or outside the company—can boost their network and show you’re looking out for them. 👉 Highlight Opportunities We all appreciate opportunities for growth or visibility. Sharing a project, event, or chance to showcase their skills is a great way to demonstrate support. Relationships = Bank Accounts Building strong relationships is like managing a bank account: you can’t make withdrawals unless you make deposits. These small actions—insights, feedback, connections, and opportunities—are deposits that build trust, strengthen collaboration, and lead to better results. What are your favorite ways to contribute to relationships with other leaders and stakeholders? #leadership #collaboration

Building Strong Alliances with Peers: The Often Overlooked Key to Leadership Success In the realm of executive leadership, one truth stands out: the power of strong alliances with peers. Navigating complex organizational landscapes becomes exponentially easier when you have a robust network of allies by your side. Today, I want to share insights from a seasoned executive client who mastered this art and transformed his Chief of Sales leadership journey. His success in building peer alliances was not accidental; it was the result of deliberate actions and a strategic approach. Here are the three key things my client did and continues to practice today: 1. Embraced Authentic Communication: Genuine relationships are built on trust and transparency. Make it a priority to engage in open and honest conversations with peers. By sharing your challenges, successes, and seeking input, you foster a culture of mutual respect and collaboration. 2. Aligned Goals and Shared Vision: Aligning your goals with those of your peers. Invest time in understanding their priorities and finding common ground. By aligning your objectives with the broader vision of the team, everyone will be working towards a shared purpose. This not only strengthens alliances but also propels organizations towards achieving strategic goals. 3. Showed Consistent Appreciation: Acknowledging the contributions of others is a simple yet powerful way to build strong relationships. Be intentional and sincere about recognizing the efforts and successes of your peers. Whether it’s a public shout-out in meetings or a personal note of appreciation, consistent recognition fosters a positive and collaborative environment. As an executive coach, I’ve seen firsthand how building strong alliances can elevate leadership effectiveness. It’s about being authentic, aligning goals, and showing appreciation. These principles not only enhance your professional relationships but also drive organizational success. To all aspiring leaders, remember that your peers are your greatest assets. Nurture these relationships, and you’ll find that navigating the complexities of leadership becomes a shared journey of growth and achievement. #Leadership #ExecutiveCoaching #PeerAlliances #TeamSuccess #LeadershipDevelopment