Dealing With Pushback When Enforcing Boundaries

In a recent coaching session, a leader shared her frustration: despite setting a clear boundary to leave work on time for dinner and bedtime with her kids, meetings kept running over. She announced her hard stop, yet conversations continued and she felt stuck. After listening, I asked her why she is expecting others to hold her accountable for her own boundary. As leaders, we often assume that setting a boundary is enough, but protecting it requires action. This leader realized she needed to model the behavior she wanted to see. By the end of our conversation, she had a plan: she would start wrapping up discussions 5 minutes early, creating space to honor her commitment while showing her team what intentionality looks like in action. Boundaries aren’t just about balance, they’re a leadership signal. When leaders hold their boundaries, it’s a clear message to their teams about prioritization, accountability, and respect. What boundaries have you set as a leader? How do you ensure they’re honored—not just for yourself, but for the example you set for others? #Leadership #SettingBoundaries #WorkLifeBalance #ExecutiveLeadership #GrowthMindset

We all know this feeling: “A hard conversation is coming” As leaders, we need to EMBRACE this. But how? This is why I created the 5 Step Accountability Dial™, take a look: #1 - "The Mention." This is all about gently pointing out an issue without making a fuss, like tapping someone on the shoulder. It’s about making a verbal observation. Consider a colleague, Alex, who's consistently late for meetings. Rather than confronting him, you can say, "Hey Alex, I've noticed you've been coming in late for meetings. Everything okay?" It's a polite way to raise awareness. Moving on to #2 - "The Invitation." After mentioning the issue, extend an open hand for a structured dialogue. It's about fostering collaboration and understanding. So, after mentioning Alex's tardiness and giving him time, you might say, "Alex, let's sit down and discuss this further. How does your schedule look this week?" This sets the stage for a more in-depth conversation. #3 - "The Conversation" is where you get to the heart of the matter. It's about clarity and exploring reasons and solutions. During the conversation with Alex, you could say, "I've noticed you're consistently late for our meetings. Can we understand if there's an underlying reason causing this?" Keep the dialogue open and solution-focused. #4 - "The Boundary"   If changes haven't occurred, set clear guidelines and expectations. Make it clear that further missteps have consequences. If Alex's punctuality hasn't improved, you might say, "We need to work on a plan to improve your punctuality. Can we specify a date for this progress?" Setting boundaries reinforces expectations. Finally, #5 "The Limit" This is when previous steps haven't led to change. It's about implementing consequences and safeguarding team interests. In Alex's case, it could be, "Despite previous discussions, I haven't seen significant progress. The responsibility to improve lies with you now. Please understand the seriousness of this issue." Maintain professionalism while upholding standards (here’s where directness is critical). It’s all about clear communication, empathy, standards, and effective leadership (most things are!). What the authenticity dial allows is a clear path for leaders to engage with their team in a structured, effective manner.

Yesterday, I got a call from a construction leader asking, "How do I get my people on board when I know they're going to push back?" He was getting ready to roll out a new process, and he knew some of the foremen (old-school mentality) would push back. This leader was excited about the new process and wanted to push it out to everyone.. but knew if he didn't have buy-in, it wouldn't work. These foremen didn't like change and "new processes." My advice: "1: Agree, 2: Ask Questions." I said: "You should sit down with them 1-on-1, and challenge yourself to let them change your mind." "These foremen are not stupid, so try to learn why they are pushing back." Here's how to do it: 1. Listen for pushback (Example: "We just need to focus on getting work done.") 2. Agree - where you can. (Example: "Yeah, good point. We do need to focus on that.") 3. Ask a question. (Example: "How should we focus on getting more work done?") Try your hardest to understand their pushback. (WHY DO THEY DISAGREE?) When we hardcore disagree with someone, the worst first thing we can do is throw our opinion back at them. If this helps: -"Pretend to agree." Aka: validate their thoughts -"Ask childlike questions." Aka: why do they think they're right? -"No defense allowed." Aka: Try to learn from them, rather than being right. Want to learn more about how to do this? Launching a Blue Collar Communication online class for free on Sept 2! Follow me for updates! What listening advice has been the most helpful for you?