Setting Boundaries As A Leader

🎣 “They didn’t even cc me.” This was how Yumi, a senior marketing director, found out her billion-dollar product had been repositioned, without her input. The project she had been leading for 18 months was suddenly reporting into someone else. She didn’t mess up. She wasn’t underperforming. She just wasn’t "there". Not at the executive offsite. Not at the Friday “golf and growth” circle. Not at the CEO’s birthday dinner her male peer casually got invited to. She was busy being excellent. They were busy being bonded. 🍷 When she asked her boss about the change, he was surprised: “You’re usually aligned with the bigger picture, so we assumed it’d be fine.” In Workplace politic-ish: Yumi was predictable. Available. Yet not powerful enough to be consulted. 🔍 What actually happened here? Women are told to build relationships. Men build alliances. Women maintain connections. Men maintain relevance in power circles. It’s not about how many people like you. It’s about how many people speak your name when you’re not in the room. And in most companies, the real decisions - about budget, headcount, succession, are made off-the-clock and off-the-record. 📌 So, how do you stop getting edited out of influence? Try these: 1. 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗽.    Not the org chart. The whisper network / shadow organistion.    Who gets invited to early product reviews?    Who influences without title?    Start mapping that!     2. 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲-𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁.    If your name hasn’t been mentioned by 3 different people in senior leadership this month, you are invisible to power, even if you’re a top performer.     3. 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴.    Skip the webinars and female empowerment panels.    Start showing up where strategy happens: QBRs, investor briefings, offsite planning, cross-functional war rooms.     4. 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹.    Schedule recurring 1:1s with lateral stakeholders, not to “catch up,” but to co-build. Influence travels faster across than up.     5. 𝗕𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝘀.    If you vanished for 2 weeks and no one noticed, you’re not central enough to promote.     🧨 If any of this feels raw, it’s because it is. Brilliant women are being rewritten out of their own stories, not for lack of performance, but for lack of positioning. That’s why Uma, Grace and I created 👊 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿: 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀👊 A course for women who are done watching strategic mediocrity rise while they wait for recognition. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about learning the rules that were never designed for us, and playing like you intend to win. 🔗 Get it if you’re ready, link in comment. Or wait until they “assume you’d be aligned,” too.

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

We've been conditioned to believe that "good" women make themselves smaller: speak softer, apologize more, defer quicker. But being a leader isn't about shrinking to fit other people's comfort zones. It's about expanding to fill the role that your vision, expertise, and impact deserve. And yet, we still catch ourselves minimizing our contributions in meetings, hedging our statements with "I think maybe..." and literally making ourselves smaller by slouching. We've been taught to be grateful for crumbs when we should be setting the table. That's space abdication. Women: your discomfort with taking up space is someone else's comfort with you staying small. Every time you shrink, you're not just limiting yourself; you're modeling limitation for every woman watching. And trust me, they're watching. (And if you're reading this, you're watching me so I'd BETTER take up space.) Taking up space isn't about becoming aggressive or adopting masculine behaviors (though there's nothing wrong with those either, if they're authentically you). It's about showing up as the full version of yourself, with all your ideas, insights, and yes, your strong opinions intact. Here's your roadmap to claiming your rightful space: 1. Speak first in meetings. Not after you've heard everyone else's thoughts and carefully calibrated your response. Lead with your perspective, then listen and adapt. 2. Stop hedging your expertise. Replace "I'm not an expert, but..." with "In my experience..." You didn't accidentally end up in a leadership role. 3. Take up physical space. Sit forward, not back. Gesture naturally. Use your full vocal range. (I've been accused of not having an "inside voice". Oh well!) Your body language should match the size of your ideas. 4. Own your wins publicly. When someone asks how the project went, don't say "the team was amazing." Say "I'm proud of how I led the team to deliver X results." 5. Interrupt the interrupters. "Let me finish that thought" is a complete sentence. So is "I wasn't done speaking." Your leadership isn't a consolation prize or a diversity initiative. It's a business imperative. The world needs what you bring, but only if you're willing to bring all of it. #womenleaders #communication #executivepresence

Milli (a Product Manager I coach) broke down in our session last year. (This is the true story of what PMs are taught wrong about making impact at work 👇🏻) Milli was burned out, wondering why her hustle hadn't led to a promotion. "I'm working 12-hour days, running between meetings, responding to every Slack, jumping on every customer call. But somehow someone who barely shows up in cross-functional meetings just got promoted to Sr Product Manager." Milli was hustling hard. She was checking off all the tasks. Yet, left behind. The painful irony? She was working twice as hard but creating half the impact. When we tracked her "hustle" time: - 40% in unnecessary meetings - 30% firefighting other people's emergencies - 20% on instant Slack responses - 10% actual product thinking - Joining every customer call (Impact: Low) - Being in every engineering sync (Impact: Minimal) - Responding to Slack within minutes (Impact: Zero) Last week, Milli texted me, "Got promoted to Group PM." So, what changed? She learned that high-impact product decision-making comes with focusing on the quality of decisions, focusing on data that moves the needle — and being there for everyone, all the time isn't really great product management. Most product managers need to internalize this: ↳ Speed of response ≠ Quality of solution ↳ Hours in meetings ≠ Clarity of strategy ↳ Number of commits ≠ Value delivered ↳ Busy calendar ≠ Strong leadership So hustle less. Be more thoughtful. You have to answer for yourself: "What could you achieve if you traded tasks for impact?" ——— 🔔 Follow me, Bosky Mukherjee, for more insights on breaking barriers for women in product and tech leadership. #productmanagement #productgrowth #womeninproduct #leadership

“If I speak like that… won’t I sound bitchy?” She asked this during my Speak with Conviction workshop—right after delivering a pitch that was confident, clear, and compelling. She nailed it. Strong structure. Steady voice. Presence that made people listen. She’s a leader. Smart. Seasoned. Respected. And yet—she hesitated. Not because she doubted her message. But because she feared how it might land. Too strong? Too blunt? Too much? This wasn’t about her voice. It was about the noise in her head. Somewhere along the way, we learned: ↳ Clarity is cold ↳ Confidence is arrogance ↳ Conviction makes people uncomfortable Especially if you’re a woman. Especially if you’ve ever been told to “smile more” or “soften your tone.” So we pad the truth. We wrap clarity in cotton wool. We apologise for having a point of view. Here’s what I reminded her—and the room: Clarity isn’t cruelty. Conviction isn’t combat. Confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s competence—with a voice. ⸻ Takeaways: ✅ You don’t need to shout to be heard ✅ You don’t need to dominate to lead ✅ You do need to stop apologising for existing If you’ve ever swallowed your words to stay “likeable”… Or softened your message until it barely landed… This is your sign. 📣 Say what you mean. 📣 Say it clearly. 📣 Say it like you mean it. They’ll adjust. #ExecutivePresence #AuthenticLeadership #Communication #LeadershipDevelopment #Storytelling

We call it the ‘Sandwich Generation’, but let’s be clear... it’s women who are carrying the plate. Running businesses. Leading teams. Raising children. Caring for ageing parents. Absorbing invisible labour, emotional load and the late-night logistics no one else sees. This isn’t just a personal pressure, it’s a performance crisis in disguise. Because while these women are holding up households, economies, and companies… they're also quietly burning out in systems that were never built with them in mind. We talk about strategy. We talk about leadership. But we rarely talk about what it costs to be the default caregiver AND the high performer. It’s time we did. 🧠 This is why the Spacious Success methodology centres "biological sustainability" and "neuro-performance". Not hustle. Not toxic efficiency. But work designed for real life, real bodies and real women. If you're in the thick of it, you’re not broken. You’re brilliant. And you deserve systems that honour that. https://lnkd.in/g9ei4zGz #SpaciousSuccess #SandwichGeneration #ExecutiveWomen #BurnoutPrevention #NeuroLeadership #PerformanceRedefined #WomenWhoLead #PoweredUpPerformance

“If you never say no, your yes loses value.” Think about that for a moment! A good portion of my clients are women who work in corporate America. As a dual-certified career strategist, I’ve found far too many of them have tied their self-worth to being seen as agreeable, always available, and always saying “yes.” But here’s the thing I remind them in our coaching sessions: 👉 Saying yes to everything doesn’t make you indispensable — it makes you depleted. 👉 Saying yes doesn’t elevate your credibility — it dilutes your impact. 👉 Saying yes to everything doesn’t make you a leader — it often traps you in a cycle of reactive work and invisible labor. The truth is: “Yes” culture has a cost. And it’s time to get honest about the emotional toll of always being available, agreeable, and accommodating. Some of my clients believe it’s “career suicide” to say no, especially to senior leadership, high-stakes projects, or team requests. Once we engage in new thought to avoid the knee-jerk reaction of saying “yes” and strengthen the “no” muscle something remarkable happens. Women who flex that “no” muscle are more likely to be viewed as strategic leaders. They gain influence in high-stakes conversations. They stop being the go-to for everything and instead become the go-to for the things that add true value to an organization. That shift changes how they’re seen, how they’re compensated, as well as how they scale in their careers. Here’s what I want to tell every high-achieving professional woman who’s been running on hustle autopilot: You don’t have to earn your worth by overextending yourself. When you say “no” with intention, you say “yes” to… • Long-term career vision • Mental clarity and emotional bandwidth • Real respect from your peers and leaders It’s no accident that the leaders who scale are the ones who say no with grace and confidence. They’re not trying to prove themselves — they’re prioritizing what moves the needle. So, let’s talk about the don’ts of saying yes: ❌ Don’t say yes out of fear, guilt, or the need to be liked. ❌ Don’t say yes before considering the opportunity cost. ❌ Don’t confuse saying yes with being strategic. And the do’s of saying no: ✅ Do say no to preserve your energy for your highest contribution. ✅ Do say no to signal your clarity of vision. ✅ Do say no so your yes holds real weight. Boundaries don’t make you less committed. They make you more credible. Being valuable isn’t about being everywhere — it’s about showing up where it counts. The next time your inbox is full and someone says, “Can you just...?” Take a pause. Ask: Does this create value? Is this mine to carry? And if the answer is no, honor it. Where in your workweek could a clear no create more space for what truly matters? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Somewhere along the way, many women — myself included — were handed an unspoken rule: Be kind. Be accommodating. Be agreeable. Be likable. It wasn’t always said outright. It was taught in glances, in praises for being “sweet,” in subtle nods of approval when we kept the peace at the cost of our own voice. And so many of us grew up carrying this invisible weight: The urge to soften our opinions. The instinct to prioritize harmony over honesty. The fear that if we said too much, asked for too much, or simply were too much, we might lose connection, approval, or love. But what happens when we begin to outgrow that conditioning? What happens when a woman chooses to speak with clarity, to set boundaries, to honor her own needs without apology? Often, resistance follows. Sometimes from others, sometimes from the quieter parts within ourselves that are still wired to believe that being liked is a form of survival. Yet every time we choose authenticity over approval, we do more than rewrite our own story — We break the cycle. Because unless we question it, we risk passing this invisible script down to the next generation, just as it was handed to us. Unknowingly, unintentionally. Through our words, our silences, our examples. When we choose to own our voice today, we create a new possibility for tomorrow — For daughters, for sons, for every young person watching what strength can look like. The more women learn to uncouple their worth from others’ approval, the more powerful we become — not in a loud, aggressive way, but in a quiet, unshakable way. We come as one. But we stand as a thousand. And maybe, just maybe, the greatest gift we can give ourselves — and those who come after us — is permission to be fully seen, whether or not everyone claps. The courage to be seen fully is the legacy we leave behind. #pedalon #ownyourvoice

As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness Month, I need to say this clearly: We’re not talking enough about the emotional cost of hustle culture, grinding it out and the pursuit of perfection.  We talk about burnout, anxiety, depression, ADHD, like we're having a cup of coffee. These are life-effecting mental health conditions, and nearly impossible to address when we feel the constant pressure to do more and be more. We live in a 24/7 work mode with emails, texts, Teams and numerous other tools sending us notifications.  It’s not just exhausting; it’s considered normal, yet it’s NOT normal for our bodies and minds. And if people are feeling burned out, they're too scared to say anything to their teams. According to the Women Business Collaborative and Deloitte, nearly 60% of women feel unsupported by their employers around mental health, and 70% don’t feel safe discussing it at work. Even more staggering, 95% fear career consequences for asking for flexibility.   Let that sink in. Mental health isn’t just about surviving; it’s about having the capacity to thrive. And if you’ve ever led through burnout (I have), raised a family while building a business (I do), or questioned whether being vulnerable would cost you respect (I’ve felt it), then you know this isn’t a personal problem. It’s a leadership crisis.  The truth I’ve come to live by:  💜 Vulnerability is a leadership superpower.   💜 Boundaries are not barriers, they’re bridges to healthy relationships.   💜 And asking for support isn’t weakness, it’s our strength. When I left corporate to co-lead StandOut Authority, I promised myself one thing: I would build and lead a company where humans come first. Not revenue. Not reputation. But real people. That means honoring mental health, not just with words, but with systems. So to the women out there feeling the pressure to keep it all together, your worth is not measured by your productivity. It’s felt in your presence. Your peace. Your voice. And to the employers reading this? Supporting mental health isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s the smartest business decision you’ll ever make. Let’s raise the standard. Let’s build cultures where women can thrive, not just survive.   #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #WomensMentalHealth #MentalHealth #WomenInBusiness #WomenInLeadership #Entrepreneurship  

Things I Stopped Apologizing for as a Woman Entrepreneur 🚫 When I became self-employed 9 years ago, I thought I had to be everything to everyone. I undercharged, over-delivered, said yes too often, and constantly second-guessed myself. I caught myself saying "sorry” more than I should have: -Sorry for charging that rate -Sorry for setting a boundary -Sorry for being confident in my work Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t actually sorry. I just felt like I had to apologize to be accepted, to seem "nice," or to avoid making others uncomfortable. But over time, I learned something important: shrinking doesn’t serve anyone. Here’s what I’ve stopped apologizing for: ✅ Charging my worth—my time, skills, and expertise matter. ✅ Saying no without guilt—boundaries protect my energy and my business. ✅ Taking up space—confidence isn’t something to hide. ✅ Celebrating my wins—because success deserves to be owned. ✅ Putting myself first—because burnout helps no one. Being self-employed taught me a lot. But the biggest lesson? You don’t need to make yourself smaller to succeed. Remember, your voice and your work deserve to be seen and heard. What’s something you’ve stopped apologizing for? Let’s talk in the comments. #WomenInBusiness #Confidence #Leadership #Mindset #Entrepreneurship