Best Practices For Leadership Feedback Sessions

“So…I want to do a 360. On myself. Live. With the team.” That’s how it started. Our CEO had just raised a big round. The business was scaling fast. Like any founder under pressure, he craved real feedback. Not surveys. Not sanitized updates. He wanted truth. From his team. In real time. Cue nervous laughter. (Mine. I was three weeks in as the new Chief People Officer.) We all know: live, unfiltered feedback is like handing the mic to your in-laws at your wedding and saying, “Go for it.” But he was serious. And bold. So I built a leadership session to make it safe and real. No anonymous forms. No buzzwords. Just one question: “What’s it like to be led by me?” But I didn’t ask it directly. Too vague. Too HR-town. Instead, we started here: “Which A-players are close to quitting?” Silence. Then: “Taylor’s halfway out. She’s been pushing for clarity for months.” Suddenly, we weren’t talking about people. We were talking about leadership signals. Next up: “What toxic behaviors do I accidentally reward?” Turns out: hero culture was thriving. Late nights, chaos saves, skipping process = praised. Consistency and planning = ignored. “You reward chaos,” one exec said. “We have to break something to get your attention.” That landed. We worked through more prompts: → “Where do my decisions create unnecessary work?” (“Your 1am Slacks derail entire teams.”) → “What broken promises are breaking trust?” (“We say quarterly planning matters. Then we blow it up two weeks in.”) → “What metrics force people to cut corners?” (“Time-to-hire. We’re chasing speed and bleeding quality.”) We didn’t call it feedback. We called it data. The CEO didn’t defend. He listened. Asked questions. Said: “Wow. First time I’ve heard that. Thank you.” The team found their voice, because the questions weren’t personal. They were structural. Not “You’re exhausting.” But “What team burnout signs am I missing?” Not “You suck at communication.” But “Where do good ideas get sidelined in our team?” By the end, we had 15+ insights. Not just about the CEO, but how they worked as a team. That’s the thing: it’s never just about the leader. But the leader sets the tone. What the CEO learned: ✔️ Late-night brainstorms = chaos, not creativity ✔️ Silence on underperformance speaks louder than words ✔️ “Be scrappy” was read as “skip structure” What the team learned: ✔️ Feedback can be shared, not scary ✔️ Most pain is structural, not personal ✔️ Honesty is easier when it’s invited Today, the CEO has: ✅ Paired weekly planning with “do not disturb” time ✅ Started celebrating process, not panic ✅ Rewritten company values with the team ✅ Killed hero culture (with kindness) And he’s still asking questions. Because real feedback starts with real questions: 🔹 “Where do we look good but perform badly?” 🔹 “Where does our growth strategy miss the mark?” 🔹 “What quick wins do we overcomplicate?” Want to hear what people really think? Give them something real to respond to.

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

Ever received feedback that felt like a slap in the face? 7 tips to make sure your team never feels that way. Feedback can either build you up—or tear you down. Which one have you experienced? I’ve been on both sides. A moment I’ll never forget: Let's call her Sally. A month into her new role, she received an email from a senior leader three levels above her. Except it wasn’t feedback—it was an exhaustive list of everything she’d done wrong after one customer meeting. Several people were copied on the email—including me. I wasn’t even the target, but I felt uneasy just reading it. It felt more like an attack than feedback. It was brutal—like a wrecking ball to her confidence. And this one email impacted Sally for over a year. I realized then that feedback should never leave someone feeling this way. It should empower, not dismantle. That email taught me exactly what NOT to do when giving feedback. Because feedback can be right and kind—not cruel. It should lift people up, not tear them down. In over a decade of leading teams, I’ve learned this: The way you deliver feedback can shape careers—or break them. 7 Tips for Delivering Feedback That Inspires: 1️⃣ Give it in private. No audience is needed, in person or virtually. Privacy is a safe space for real growth. 2️⃣ Start with curiosity. Ask questions. Understand their perspective before offering feedback. 3️⃣ Focus on actions, not the person. Address specific behaviors and their impact. Not their character. 4️⃣ Acknowledge individuality. Avoid comparisons. Everyone has their own journey. 5️⃣ Be specific. Offer clear, actionable feedback. Provide real examples. 6️⃣ Listen fully. Let them share their thoughts. Don't interrupt. 7️⃣ Encourage, then move forward. Don’t hold it against them. Discuss steps to improve, then focus on the future. Great feedback builds trust, respect, and confidence. It’s the key to inspiring growth. If this resonates, share it with your network to help others give kind feedback. And hit 'Follow' for more actionable insights on leadership.

Too many leaders confuse kindness with comfort. But real kindness? It’s uncomfortable. It’s easy to be nice. It’s harder to be honest, especially when the truth might sting. I remember the first time I had to tell a team member their leadership style was alienating others. I was nervous. But not telling them? That would’ve been selfish. They deserved the chance to grow, not stay stuck in blind spots. Great leaders know this: 🚫 Avoiding hard feedback isn't kindness. ✅ Delivering it with empathy and a plan is. Kindness means: ✅ Naming the problem and staying present for the solution ✅ Challenging behavior, while still believing in potential ✅ Being the one voice brave enough to say what needs to be said The softest leaders avoid hard truths. The strongest leaders deliver them with empathy, clarity, and commitment. How real kindness shows up in feedback: 1. Set the tone Start with psychological safety. → “I see potential in you. This is about helping you rise to it.” 2. Use the SBI model: → Situation: “In yesterday’s client review…” → Behavior: “You interrupted twice during the Q&A…” → Impact: “It came across as dismissive, and we risk losing trust.” Focus on actions, not identity. 3. Be honest and helpful → “This needs to shift. But I’ll help you build the skill to get there.” 4. Co-create the next step: → “Let’s walk through what needs to change and how I can help.” 5. Follow through: → Feedback isn’t a moment. It’s a process. → Check in. Coach through it. Celebrate progress. 🧠 Harvard research shows people retain feedback better when it’s paired with a clear plan and delivered with care. Kindness without honesty is neglect. Honesty without kindness is cruelty. Leadership lives in the tension between both. Be kind. Be honest. Be clear. And be the kind of leader who never confuses silence for support. Comment Below: What’s the kindest honest feedback you ever received? ♻ Repost if you’ve ever had to tell someone a truth they needed to hear. I’m Dan 👊 Follow me for daily posts. I talk about confidence, professional growth and personal growth. ➕ Daniel McNamee