Why Trusting Your Team Doesn't Mean Being Detached

It doesn’t start as control. It starts as worry. You tell yourself you’re “being thorough,” “protecting quality,” or “making sure nothing slips.” But scratch the surface, and you’ll often find fear— Fear that someone will mess up. Fear that their work reflects on you. Fear that letting go means losing control. Here’s the paradox: the tighter you grip, the less you actually control. People start hiding mistakes. Playing it safe. Waiting to be told instead of thinking for themselves. If you want ownership, give people room to own: 1️⃣ Set the destination, not the directions. 2️⃣ Ask before advising. 3️⃣ Loosen your grip, tighten your guardrails. Trust doesn’t mean letting go of expectations—it means letting go of anxiety disguised as oversight.

Giving your team autonomy does not mean abandoning them. I recently sat down with my coach Mandisa Khanna and Talentism's Angie D'Sa to discuss one of the key lessons I’ve learned as a manager. I used to think the best way to help team members succeed was to provide the goals, then let them figure out how to get there. I appreciate a high degree of autonomy, and know that most of us are more motivated when we can make independent decisions. I worried that if I told people how to approach their work, I’d prevent them from using their creativity. I worried that they would never learn to do it, and I would always need to help.   I wanted them to experience productive struggle. So I kept setting goals – and people kept failing to meet them. But the failure was primarily mine – I wasn’t setting clear expectations for how the work should or could be done. I was withholding valuable guidance. A lack of structure can be extremely frustrating. Providing frameworks, templates, and examples doesn’t take away autonomy. Especially when asking people to work in unfamiliar territory, guidance reduces overwhelm and kickstarts thoughtful action. Listen to the full episode to learn more about finding the right balance between autonomy and structure for your team: https://lnkd.in/eVf4yXRP

The fear behind the bottleneck: What leaders don’t say out loud A VP I coach recently admitted: “I know I’m the bottleneck. But if I step back… what’s left of me?” It wasn’t a question about process. It was a quiet, brutal confession about identity. Because when you’ve built your worth on being the fixer, the decider, the one who jumps in, letting go doesn’t feel like empowerment. It feels like erasure. That’s the fear behind most bottlenecks. Not incompetence. Not arrogance. Just a deeply human fear of no longer being essential. I get it. I used to pride myself on being the answer to everything. I believed my value came from doing - solving, guiding, approving. But when I finally stepped back, I realized: I wasn’t leading. I was protecting my identity. And until I let go of being essential, I couldn’t become impactful. So here’s the shift no one teaches you: Letting go doesn’t mean letting down. Empowering others doesn’t make you less valuable. Stepping out doesn’t make you invisible. Delegation isn’t abandonment -it’s belief, in action And most importantly: You don’t have to be needed to be meaningful. If you feel that urge to stay in everything, ask yourself: Am I afraid they’ll get it wrong… or that they won’t need me at all? Am I here to build systems, or to be the system? Am I guiding with trust, or staying close to feel secure? Here’s the leadership truth no playbook talks about: Letting go will feel like loss, until it feels like freedom. You won’t get credit for the systems that work without you - and that’s the point. The moment you’re no longer the bottleneck… your team starts to breathe. And that’s real leadership. So if you’re still running every meeting, making every decision, answering every question… You’re not just the bottleneck. You’re the block between your team and their growth. What would it take to finally… step aside? Not because you’re giving up. But because you’re ready to grow into something bigger.

The best leaders know when to step back. Here are 3 signs it’s time (and how to unlock real growth): I’ve worked with countless founders and leaders. • Builders. • High performers. • People who pour their heart into their business. But no matter how good they are, every single one hits the same wall. • The team expands. • The business grows. • Responsibilities pile up. And before you know it—you're the problem. • Every decision runs through you. • Your people can’t move without your approval. • You’re buried in tasks when you should be leading strategy. If you want to scale, you need to get out of your own way. Here are 3 signs you’re getting in the way—and how to fix it: 1) You’re solving every problem You think it’s your job to have all the answers. But every time you step in, you’re keeping your team stuck. It holds them back. It stops them from growing. Instead of solving problems for them, step back: Ask, "What’s your solution?" Coach—don’t control. Real leadership is about creating other leaders. 2) You’re clinging to control because it feels like purpose Leaders often hold on tight because it makes them feel valuable. Letting go feels like losing your identity. Who am I if I’m not holding it all together? I get it. But if you don’t loosen your grip, you’ll suffocate your team—and your growth. Redefine your value: Your job isn’t to hold it all together—it’s to set the vision and unleash your team’s potential. That’s real leadership. And it’s the only way to scale. 3) You don’t fully trust your team You say you do. But every Slack check-in and "just following up" email says otherwise. Trust isn’t telling them you believe in them—it’s giving them the space to fail forward and figure things out. • Get clear on the goal. • Remove the blockers. • Let them go. If they stumble? You coach—you don’t grab the wheel. That’s how autonomous teams—and real growth—are built. P.S. Where are you still holding the reins too tight? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear it. If this hit home, follow Dr. Carrie LaDue for more leadership insights ♻️ Share this with someone who needs the reminder.