Why Trust Fades When Values Don't Match Behavior

“Who’s the Champagne for?” I asked the CEO. The culture had gone to chaos almost overnight. Loss of trust due to what was perceived as unexpected and unwarranted lay offs. His diagnosis. Not that I was doubting it. He’d called me in to help turn it around. “The Champagne’s for John. He’s been working much longer than the rest of his team. Really digging in to get to the end of a project. We recognise a team member every month for outstanding individual contribution. It’s a thing I really enjoy doing.” He stands up on a little make shift stage. The values on display behind him. “Collaboration” stands out to me in particular. “Transparency” was another. I sit down later with the VP level leaders to understand what they see. I can feel their frustration. Decisions made in meetings by the team. Then changed by the founders later due to information they couldn’t share. One thing said. Another thing done. They just didn’t know how to behave to have their efforts and expertise mean something. Later I asked the CEO how they landed on their values. “Me, the leadership team and a couple of corporate branding guys went away for a couple of days.” They were thinking of values as mindsets. That’s not what values are though. Values are actions. You might SAY “I love you” but it’s not true if you don’t show it. The team were stressed because the leadership were preaching one thing and practising another. I promise you, there is no judgment here. I’ve absolutely done the same. Many times. Incongruity isn’t just the challenge of organisations it’s the challenge of all of us. Back to our love example. If we say it, then actually agree on what actions demonstrate it AND the opposite - that’s when people know where they stand. Instead of a branding exercise we asked the people in the company what ACTIONS they valued and what ACTIONS drove them mad! Once we’d done this they were finally able to use their values as a compass. This was particularly useful for having the difficult conversations that we tend to avoid that create the stress in the first place. It worked for them. And it works in every relationship you have. The question is, if people judged your values only by your actions, what would they say you stand for?

Only 23% of U.S. employees believe they can apply their organization's values to their work. Even worse? Only 15% believe their leaders uphold company values. Here's what their leaders are missing (and how to fix it): The problem isn't the values themselves. It's the dangerous misalignment between: • What leaders say • What leaders do • What gets rewarded • What happens day-to-day This creates what I call a "culture crisis" - where your words and actions tell two different stories. Trust goes out the window. Engagement plummets. Innovation dies. Results suffer. And the data proves it: • Companies with strong cultures see 4x higher revenue growth over 10 years • They achieve 3.8x higher employee engagement • They're 1.5x more likely to retain top talent But here's what most leaders miss: You can't just send a mass email or put posters up announcing your company values... You must shape it with thousands of tiny decisions made every single day. I see it all too often: • You tell your team that "innovation" is a value - but punish failure • You preach "collaboration" but your processes force competition Your employees WILL pick up on these inconsistencies and it will push them towards greener pastures. Here's what actually works: 1. Systems Alignment (Create Clarity) Your processes must reflect your values. Create clear decision-making frameworks that empower teams to act on values daily. 2. Walk the Talk (Build Alignment) When faced with tough decisions, openly explain how your values guided your choice. 3. Psychological Safety (Generate Movement) Build trust by celebrating when people speak up, admitting your own mistakes, and showing vulnerability first. 4. Consistent Action (Sustain Results) Make values part of your daily conversations. Recognize and reward behaviors that exemplify your values - not just results. The leaders who keep their values alive and well all share one thing: They understand that culture isn't what you say - it's what you consistently DO when no one's watching. And this isn't just theory... These are the exact principles I've used to help transform cultures at some of the world's largest companies. Not sure where to start? Save the infographic below to identify the top 5 culture killers and how to fix them. Want more on becoming the leader everyone wants to work for? Join the 12,500+ leaders who get our weekly email newsletter: https://lnkd.in/en9vxeNk

Trust doesn’t come from what you say—it comes from what you do. Leaders often preach collaboration and transparency, but when actions favor output over principles, trust erodes rapidly. Here’s the truth: trust is built—or destroyed—in the small moments of leadership. Inconsistency ends up smelling a whole lot like a lack of integrity, and your reports will absolutely notice if your actions don't align with your words. When a direct report struggles, the easy choice is to avoid the hard conversation. But that moment? It’s your chance to teach, to support, and to build trust. Walking away from an opportunity to have a straightforward conversation robs that individual of a learning experience. A culture that values outcomes over behaviors kills innovation. Teams stop taking risks when mistakes aren’t safe. And there is no reason to favor outcomes (or delivery) at the expense of the behaviors, because they can (and must) exist simultaneously to truly have a high performance team. Leaders must align actions with their words. That’s the foundation of a high-performance, high-trust culture. Leadership without trust isn’t leadership—it’s management. I would love to hear shared stories about the impact that trust--or lack thereof--has had on your team in the past. What’s one action you’ve taken that strengthened trust on your team? What's one action you've seen that damaged trust?

I’ve sat in too many boardrooms where someone says: “Our culture needs fixing. Let’s run a workshop.” And I always pause. Because culture isn’t a one-day exercise. Culture lives in the everyday. It’s in the way two colleagues talk to each other when no one else is around. It’s in how managers respond under pressure. It’s in the tone of an email when deadlines tighten. That’s where your real culture shows itself. And here’s the part most leaders don’t want to hear: Culture takes time. You can’t shortcut it. You can’t patch it up with quick fixes. It’s built … slowly … on three things: 1. A clear strategy that people can actually follow. 2. Values that mean something in practice, not just in print. 3. Daily behaviours that reflect both top down and bottom up. When those align, trust grows. When they don’t, the cracks widen. So before you ask, “How do we fix our culture by next quarter?” Ask a harder question: “Are we ready to live the culture we keep writing about?” Because culture doesn’t change when you print new values. It changes when people start living them.

Let’s be honest — people don’t leave jobs. They leave how those jobs make them feel. Not seen. Not trusted. Not valued. Not safe. They don’t leave on the first bad day. They leave after a hundred small disappointments. Invisible moments.  Missed conversations. Unintentional damage that adds up. And most of it? It doesn’t come from toxic policies. It comes from well-meaning leaders… who didn’t realize what they were doing. Because leadership isn’t just about strategy. It’s not KPIs, status updates, or vision boards. It’s about how your people experience you. Every meeting.  Every email.  Every silence. I’ve learned this the hard way. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve caused damage I didn’t see—until it was too late. And I’ve had to earn trust back… the slow way. So if you're leading people— or want to lead better— this is for you. Here are 8 silent leadership habits that slowly destroy employee experience: 1️⃣ Lack of clear communication → When people don’t know what’s happening, they make up their own stories. → Most of them aren’t good. 2️⃣ Controlling instead of trusting → Micromanagement says: "I don’t believe in you." → That belief matters more than you think. 3️⃣ Overlooking employee input → When people speak and leaders don’t listen, they stop speaking altogether. → Silence is more dangerous than disagreement. 4️⃣ Skipping recognition → Effort without acknowledgment feels like running on a treadmill. → Exhausting. Directionless. Unseen. 5️⃣ Disrespecting boundaries → When work bleeds into life, people start quietly pulling away. → They don’t always tell you—they just fade. 6️⃣ Inconsistent actions → When your words don’t match behavior, trust doesn’t erode—it collapses. → Fairness must feel real, not promised. 7️⃣ Dodging hard conversations → Avoiding conflict doesn’t solve it. → It just hands it to your team, wrapped in silence and stress. 8️⃣ “Do as I say” leadership → People don’t follow titles. → They follow consistency. → Lead with action, or don’t lead at all. 👀 See yourself in any of these? That’s not failure—it’s awareness. And awareness is where great leadership begins. Because this work—the human work— isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, reflection, and growth. So I’ll ask you this: 👉 Which one of these habits do you need to unlearn? 👉 Which one hurt you when someone else did it? Let’s talk about it. Real leadership starts here.👇 ♻️ Share this with your network if it resonates. ☝️ And follow Stuart Andrews for more insights like this.

In toxic workplaces, the unacceptable becomes the norm, and employees are expected to adapt and accept. The problem is that evolving in an environment that operates against our values and judgment can make us sick. Human beings are happier in environments that fit their values. There is a whole line of research dedicated to person-environment fit theory. Job candidates seek organizations with a culture that fits their values and personality. The person-environment fit theory indicates that when employees evolve in an environment that fits their values, they are more satisfied and engaged in their work and less likely to quit. However, when employees' values do not match their work environment, they are at an increased risk of burnout. The prominent values in toxic workplaces are greed, power, money, and control. These values translate into harassment, retaliation, overt and covert threats, incivility, lying, manipulation, and other unethical behaviors. Employees who dare question these values are seen as outliers and problematic. They are often retaliated against, warned to keep quiet, and even threatened if they stray from the norm. In toxic workplaces, violence is tolerated, and it is even encouraged, especially against individuals who dare challenge ideologies or behaviors that benefit and support the toxic culture and its leaders. In a toxic culture, you will feel uneasy, stressed, uncomfortable, and out of place. However, you will soon learn it is safer to keep quiet than speak up. When employees keep quiet in an environment that is opposite to their values, they experience what psychologists call cognitive dissonance. Cognitions are our thoughts. Cognitive dissonance happens when our actions or environment contradict our beliefs and values. Some will want to expose lies and address toxic behaviors to reduce the discomfort and distress associated with cognitive dissonance. However, these actions will be met with strong opposition, and employees are likely to retreat into a state of learned helplessness. It is often difficult or impossible for employees to change their organization's toxic culture. However, it is crucial for them to be aware that the discomfort they feel in toxic workplaces is normal. They are not the problem. The toxic environment is. Employees evolving in toxic workplaces need to create a support network, even if it is one friend or family member with whom they can talk about their values and the toxicity of their workplace. I have often seen employees in toxic workplaces ask if they are the problem or if they are "crazy" for thinking that the behaviors they witnessed are unacceptable. Being around people who validate, share, and support our values is essential. I believe in creating kindness bubbles around us. Surrounding ourselves with people who share our values and support one another is essential to our well-being. Take care of yourself and the people around you 💗

Not long ago, I was called into a global financial firm after a whistleblower said a team was cutting corners to hit targets. What floored leadership was that, just weeks earlier, they’d presented glowing survey results to the board: supportive managers, strong values, high trust in leadership. On paper, the culture looked great. In reality, people who bent the rules were getting ahead. The problem wasn’t the survey. It was the questions. → “Rate our culture of ethics (1–5).” → “I feel supported by my manager.” Safe questions that invite safe answers. Anyone who’s ever filled one out knows the drill: click “4,” move on, get back to work. That’s why I push leaders to ask the questions that sting: → Which values are real in practice, and which aren’t? → Do people who bend the rules get rewarded here? → Would you feel safe raising an ethical concern? Why or why not? Those aren’t chart friendly questions. But they surface the truth before it becomes a headline. If your surveys look great but don’t match what you sense in the hallways, you may have a blind spot. I unpack why in my latest piece:

After decades in leadership, I’ve witnessed the fragility of trust firsthand. Team trust is the invisible thread holding everything together, and it isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s earned - or lost - in those small moments when we think no one’s watching. What really stands out to me as trust-breakers are seemingly small events - things like forgetting to acknowledge contributions or showing favoritism in meetings. But it’s these issues that can have seismic impacts on team dynamics. People notice when leaders don’t give credit where it’s due, and they feel unappreciated as a result - creating a domino effect of lower morale and productivity. Here’s a hard truth I’ve learned in my time leading teams: While trust takes years to build, it can evaporate in seconds. The most damaging part? It’s not always about major ethical breaches. Sometimes it’s those subtle, throwaway moments - forgetting to acknowledge contributions, showing favoritism in meetings - that create hairline fractures in the foundation of your leadership. The trickiest part is that once trust is broken, there’s often no way back. I’ve seen talented leaders forced to leave roles not because of dramatic failures, but because they couldn’t rebuild trust after seemingly minor missteps. Ultimately, what I’ve come to realize is that trustworthiness isn’t just a leadership principle. It’s your most valuable currency. Guard it zealously in every interaction, no matter how small, because once you’ve created that bond of trust, your team can do incredible things. #ethics #organizationalculture #businessintegrity

Trust isn’t given freely; it’s earned, especially in leadership. 🌟 Many leaders mistakenly believe that their position automatically commands trust. They’re wrong. Trust is not a luxury—it's a necessity. If you want your team to follow you, to believe in your vision, and to invest in your mission, you must earn their trust through consistent actions and authentic behavior. 💡 Here’s the hard truth: Trust is built through reliability and transparency, not just authority. Leaders who preach values but fail to embody them will soon find their influence eroding. Your team watches every decision you make, every word you say, and every action you take. Trust is not about what you say you’ll do; it’s about what you actually do. To earn trust, start by being open and honest. Admit mistakes and show vulnerability. Be consistent in your actions, and align your behavior with the values you promote. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers but about fostering a culture of respect, reliability, and mutual support. When trust is earned, it transforms teams. It drives engagement, fosters loyalty, and sparks innovation. Leaders who genuinely care and act with integrity inspire those around them to do the same. Are you focusing on earning trust or just expecting it? Share your thoughts and experiences below! ---------- Hey, I'm Kevin, I am the host of Working Wisdom and The Toxic Leadership Podcast and provide daily posts and insights to help transform organizational culture and leadership. ➡️ Follow for more ♻️ Repost to share with others (or save for later)

I created a presentation worth $750K. I show it to every leadership team I work with. It isn't about vision. It isn't about values. It's about the hidden toxins killing their company. Title: "The $750K Culture Killer You're Ignoring" Here's what it reveals: Welcome to reality. You're about to lose $750K. Minimum. I know because I've watched it happen. Repeatedly. You'll ignore the warning signs. You'll rationalize the behaviors. And in 12 months, your culture will be unrecognizable. Not because of market changes. Because of what you tolerated. Here's what cultural decay actually costs: → $200K: Mass exodus of top talent → $150K: Plummeting productivity → $125K: Customer churn from poor service → $100K: Failed initiatives from lack of trust → $75K: Recruiting costs to replace cynics → $50K: Legal fees from toxic behavior claims → $50K: Lost innovation from fear-based culture Total: $750K. Per year. Minimum. Great cultures don't collapse overnight. They rot from these toxins: 1/ The Meeting After the Meeting → Real decisions happen in parking lots → Public agreement, private rebellion 💡 Reality: When hallway conversations matter more than conference rooms, trust is dead. 2/ The Brilliant Jerk Protection Program → "But they deliver results" → One toxic star poisons ten good people 💡 Reality: I've seen entire departments quit rather than work with protected jerks. 3/ The Accountability Allergy → Mistakes get buried, not examined → Blame flows down, credit flows up 💡 Reality: Teams that can't fail together can't succeed together. 4/ The Feedback Desert → Annual reviews replace daily coaching → People discover problems at exit interviews 💡 Reality: By the time you hear the truth, it's too late. 5/ The Innovation Graveyard → New ideas meet "that's not how we do things" → Risk-taking gets punished, not rewarded 💡 Reality: Your competitors are hiring your frustrated innovators. 6/ The Trust Tax → Everything requires approval → CYA emails outnumber productive ones 💡 Reality: Low-trust teams move 5x slower than high-trust ones. 7/ The Values Charade → Posters on walls, not behaviors in halls → Leaders violate values without consequence 💡 Reality: Employees spot hypocrisy in seconds. And they remember. The truth? Culture isn't what you say. It's what you tolerate. Every toxic behavior you ignore becomes permission. Every standard you don't enforce becomes optional. And slowly, invisibly, your culture dies. While you're focused on strategy and metrics. Forget culture, and you'll be explaining to your board why replacing half your workforce just cost the company $750K. And why the other half is actively looking. What toxic behavior is your company tolerating? Share below 👇 ♻️ Repost if a leader needs this wake-up call. Follow Carolyn Healey for more leadership truths.