Why Surface-Level Stories Hinder Team Trust

𝐓𝐋𝐃𝐑 👉 When leaders hold back information or are scared to admit they don't know something to “protect” staff, it creates more harm than the truth ever could. Most people can handle hard news, what they can’t handle is being kept in the dark. Leaders often worry that sharing bad news will lower morale, cause disengagement, or spark gossip. So they wait until they have “all the answers” before saying anything. Or they sugarcoat. Or they stay silent. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦: silence erodes trust. The longer you hold back, the more rumours spread, anxiety builds, and productivity drops. People always sense when something’s happening, so when you don’t communicate, they fill in the blanks themselves (and those stories are usually worse than reality). Even if you’re a middle manager in a hierarchy where information doesn’t flow downward, or you’ve never had transparent communication modelled for you, you can still do this differently. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧): ► “We don’t get enough information.” ► “We aren’t considered or consulted.” ► “Decisions feel like they come out of nowhere.” ► “We feel excluded from conversations that impact our work.” ► “It feels like leadership doesn’t trust us to handle hard news.” 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬: ► Rumours & speculation: Silence gets filled with stories. ► Distrust & cynicism: Staff assume you’re hiding things. ► Anxiety & wasted energy: People spend time decoding signals instead of focusing on work. Why does this happen? Old myths about “strong leadership,” short-term thinking to avoid discomfort, and a lack of tools for transparent communication. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 👉 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐲: 📌 In your monthly or quarterly updates, create two columns (𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸) ► What I know ► What I don’t know (yet) ✨ This structure shows transparency, builds trust and keeps people informed. If you do this I guarantee you, it will reduce anxiety, increase engagement, and strengthen trust in your leadership. ✨ Test it with your team, then drop me a comment or DM, I’d love to know what impact it had!

Process won’t save a team that’s afraid to speak up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a process girl through and through. It’s my bread and butter. It brings rhythm, clarity, and focus. But I’ve seen teams build beautiful workflows that still fall apart. Automations. Templates. Status rituals. All clean on paper. Under the surface? People were second-guessing. Avoiding conflict. Afraid to raise risks. Because culture eats process for breakfast. No tooling can fix a team that doesn’t feel safe. No standup can replace trust. No framework can overcome fear of being blamed. If your retros are quiet, your risks are hidden. If your 1:1s are surface-level, your blockers are buried. If your team looks “on track” but nobody’s pushing back, you’ve got a silent failure in progress. So what can you do as a PM? ✅ You fix the fear. ✅ You lead the trust. Here’s how: ▶ In 1:1s, ask real questions: “What’s something you’ve been holding back?” “What do you wish we’d talk about more as a team?” ▶ In retros, model vulnerability: “I hesitated to speak up about X last sprint. I want us all to feel safe raising things earlier, even if they’re messy or unpopular.” ▶ In meetings, reward truth, not timeline: If someone raises a delay, thank them publicly. Normalize speaking up. ▶ When there’s tension, don’t smooth it over. Get curious. Silence isn’t alignment, it’s fear with a filter. Fix the fear, not just the Jira. Visibility = creating clarity where others stay silent. Leadership = creating space for others to speak freely. 👉 If you're still managing tasks and tools, but not trust, you’re not leading yet. Tag a PM who gets this. ♻️ Repost to help others lead teams with trust 🔔 Follow Elizabeth Dworkin for more like this

They keep telling you everything is fine. But the project is bleeding out under the surface. You’ve got a watermelon project. 🍉 Green on the outside. 🔥 Red on the inside. Your team says everything is “on track,” “no blockers,” “we’re good.” And yet deadlines slip. Quality drops. Budgets balloon. Why? Because your team doesn’t feel safe enough to tell you the truth. Here’s the hard part: Even when you’re trying your best to create safety, you can still be sending signals that say: “Don’t bring me bad news.” Signals like: 🍉 Rushing from one meeting to the next 🍉 Talking about how “other teams are struggling, but this one better not” 🍉 Fixating only on outcomes, not learning 🍉 Celebrating only wins, not honest updates 🍉 Rewarding speed over clarity Small things. But in a psychologically unsafe environment, they are loud and clear. The Cost? ❌ Burnout from pretending everything is fine ❌ Projects doomed by late interventions ❌ Good people quitting quietly—or loudly ❌ Innovation stifled by fear ❌ Trust fractures between layers of leadership You want the truth? You have to go looking for it with care. You have to ask better questions. Try these 10 questions to get under the green: 🍉 10 Questions to Cut Through the Surface 1/ “What’s one thing that isn’t going as well as it seems?” 2/ “If this project failed, what would have caused it?” 3/ “What’s something we haven’t talked about… that we should be?” 4/ “If you could wave a magic wand to fix something—what would it be?” 5/ “What’s one decision we’re avoiding right now?” 6/ “If you were in my seat, what would you be worried about?” 7/ “What are you tolerating that you probably shouldn’t be?” 8/ “What feels harder than it should right now?” 9/ “What’s something you wish you could tell me?” 10/ “What’s one thing I could do differently to make it safer to speak up?” Use these questions not to interrogate. But to explore. Take a breath. Put on your curious, caring mindset. Create space for silence. Let the red bleed through the green. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be safe enough to ask the hard questions. PS: Would your team feel safe enough to say “we’re not okay”?

Modern business culture is suffocating our humanity. Most professional relationships are built on performance rather than trust. You carefully manage conversations to avoid revealing struggles, insecurities, or authentic challenges. You maintain professional facades that create surface-level connections. But in reality, people connect with authenticity, not perfection. In every significant relationship moment, you face a fundamental choice: Security or growth. Security means avoiding vulnerability to prevent potential pain. Growth means embracing vulnerability to enable deeper connection. The security choice feels safer in the moment but creates long-term relationship stagnation. The growth choice feels riskier but builds depth and resilience. When you experimentally reveal authentic struggles (whether business failures, professional uncertainties, or personal challenges), you may expect rejection. But 9/10 your colleagues will feel closer to you because of your authentic disclosure. This creates what psychologists call "reciprocal disclosure." When you share something real, others feel permission to drop their own facades. A client who believed "I have to be perfect or I'll be rejected" maintained exhausting facades that inevitably collapsed when perfection became unsustainable. When he revealed a genuine struggle to a business partner, he discovered they didn't lose respect for him. They felt relief that they could finally be human too. The strongest business relationships are built on authentic trust. This can only develop when both parties feel safe to be real.

Ever wonder why traditional team-building activities often fall flat? Because genuine engagement is about more than just trust falls and picnics. • Authentic engagement stems from meaningful connection • Surface-level activities won’t cut it • Time to redefine your strategy Storytime: I once attended a team-building retreat. We played games, completed trust exercises, and campfires were involved. But, back at the office, nothing changed. Flash forward to a year later. A new manager introduced something radical: personal connection time. Every Friday: - We grabbed coffee - Shared week's highlights - Opened up about challenges This simple change transformed our dynamic. Real stories. Actual empathy. What worked in that coffee gathering? - Relationships beyond work. - Understanding personal motivations. - Depth, not just fun. Tips to Implement Genuine Engagement: 1. Frequent Check-Ins: - Conduct informal catch-ups weekly. - These are not about performance. - Focus on personal and professional well-being. 2. Shared Story Sessions: - Create forums where team members can share personal journeys. - Listen, empathize, and grow together. Next Steps for Better Engagement: - Replace one traditional activity with a connection session. - Foster an environment of open-value sharing. - Encourage storytelling and meaningful dialogue. The secret to engagement isn’t in activities, but in understanding. Do you think team bonding needs to evolve? Share your thoughts in the comments! #TeamBuilding #EmployeeEngagement #WorkplaceCulture #Leadership #PersonalGrowth

When Silence Hurts the Team You are in a meeting, and everyone nods in agreement. The discussion seems smooth, but afterward, in quiet corners or private chats, the real concerns emerge. Worse still, decisions are made based on that surface-level agreement, and when the results come in, they fall short. What’s behind this? More often than not, it’s a lack of #Psychological Safety -- a work environment where people don’t feel comfortable speaking up. Sometimes, it’s the fear of being labeled “difficult” or “negative.” Other times, it’s the belief that their opinions won’t matter anyway. Imagine a team with smart, capable individuals, yet meetings remain eerily quiet. People hesitate to challenge ideas or point out risks. Or worse, they find ways to cover up or fabricate stories to avoid confrontation. #Why do people hold back? - #Fear of Judgment: Speaking up might make them seem incompetent, overly critical, or out of place. - #Hierarchical Gaps: A belief that only those in leadership have the right to question decisions. - Previous Experiences: If people have been shut down before, they are less likely to voice their thoughts again. #What can leaders who desire change do? 1. Invite Real Feedback: Replace “Does everyone agree?” with “What concerns should we address? 2. Make It Safe to Disagree: Normalize respectful disagreements and highlight the value of tough questions. 3. Lead by Example: Openly admit your own mistakes and encourage others to share theirs. One of the simplest yet effective approaches I’ve seen is leaders pausing during meetings to say, “If something doesn’t sit right, now’s the time to bring it up. Every idea matters, no matter how bold or small.” #Psychological safety is not about making everyone feel comfortable at all times though, but creating a #culture where honesty is valued, and ideas can be shared openly without fear. #Psychologicalsafety #workplace #culture Folakemi E. Adesina SHRM-SCP #HRTherapist