Why rebuilding from scratch harms trust

When I first built my 200+ person team at SB Infowaves, I thought I understood retention. I was WRONG. After watching top performers walk away—some I was certain would stay—I finally saw the pattern. It wasn't compensation.  It wasn't culture.  It wasn't even growth opportunities. It was TRUST. Specifically, promises I made that went unfulfilled. Here's what I learned the hard way: When leaders make commitments, employees make life decisions: - "I'll start house hunting only after my promotion" - "We can start our family once my bonus comes through" - "I'll stay in this city because my career path is clear here" What felt like small delays or changed priorities to me were life changing disruptions to them. This is the real math of broken promises: * Each unfulfilled commitment creates months of damaged trust * And rebuilding that takes twice the effort as building initially Every time you promise something and don't fulfill it it doubles the likelihood of them looking for other opportunities. My solution? Three principles I now live by: 1️⃣ Replace vague promises with documented growth paths - Specific milestones with dates - Clear performance metrics - Written commitments both sides can reference 2️⃣ Transparency as a default setting - Team members see the real salary bands - Promotion timelines are published, not whispered - Company challenges are shared openly 3️⃣ Honor commitments or address them immediately - When we promise, we deliver - When we can't, we explain why—truthfully - Always provide alternatives when original plans change The most valuable lesson of my leadership career: Trust isn't a soft skill. It's the foundation everything else stands on. What leadership lesson cost you the most to learn? #LeadershipLessons #RetentionStrategy #BuildingTrust

Trust is the backbone of every system—human or technical. But unlike encryption, there’s no patch for broken trust. In leadership and cybersecurity, trust is your firewall. It’s what keeps the good actors in and the bad actors out. It’s what empowers a team to report a mistake before it becomes a breach. It’s what keeps your people from walking out the door with your IP in their back pocket and a new job offer in the other. But here’s a little something no one likes to say out loud (or actually do): If you’re going to make claims—have the damn receipts. Don’t promise transparency and then ghost your own employees. Don’t preach integrity while covering up the real cause of a security incident. Don’t say “people are our greatest asset” if you treat them like disposable endpoints. Trust is built through policies and people. Through security awareness and psychological safety. Through owning mistakes and not just spinning them into a comms plan. The most dangerous insider isn’t always malicious. Sometimes it’s the loyal employee you burned. Sometimes it’s the one who trusted you… until you made that impossible. So if you want to lead well— If you want to secure not just your systems but your culture— Start here: ✔️Keep your promises. ✔️Document your claims. ✔️Listen like trust depends on it—because it does. ✔️And when trust is broken, don’t pretend it isn’t. Rebuild it. Brick by brick. Because in cybersecurity and leadership, even in personal relationships, once trust is gone the breach is already in progress. Once trust is broken, transparency is no longer optional. You don’t get to rebuild it on vibes. You rebuild it on accountability. You rebuild it by being ruthlessly consistent. You rebuild it by showing—not telling. (Actions speak louder than words!) So if you’re tempted to shade the truth, inflate your credibility, or coast on charm alone, just remember: Trust isn’t given. It’s loaned. With interest. And people are keeping score. #trust #brokentrust #cybersecurity #leadership #spycraftfortheheart

“I don’t think my team trusts me anymore.” That’s how one of my clients, a senior executive, started our first coaching session. He wasn’t being dramatic. He was tired. Tired of pushing harder every quarter. Tired of trying to stay positive when morale was slipping. Tired of leading a team that was still performing, but no longer connected. The company had just gone through another round of restructuring. New reporting lines. New goals. Old wounds that no one had time to talk about. He said, “Everyone shows up to meetings, but no one really talks.” And that single sentence told me everything. We didn’t start by “fixing performance.” We started by rebuilding safety. → Real conversations, not carefully worded updates. → Follow-through, not promises lost to busy calendars. → Space to disagree, without fear of punishment. Leadership doesn’t start with clarity decks or new values. It starts with courage, the courage to listen before defending. The courage to stay present even when it’s uncomfortable. Three months later, that same team had reconnected. Meetings had energy again. People spoke up. They challenged ideas, respectfully. And performance rose naturally, not because they were pushed, but because they finally trusted again. When leaders repair trust, everything else follows, productivity, innovation, retention. When they don’t, no amount of strategy will save the culture. So if you’re a leader reading this, ask yourself: → Do people feel safe bringing me the truth? → When was the last time someone told me something uncomfortable? If you can’t remember, that’s where to start. Because trust doesn’t disappear overnight but it does disappear in silence.

This Lender Inherited a HUGE book of business He thought it was a gold mine of opportunities But it was built on lies and broken promises... I just spoke with a commercial lender who inherited what seemed like a goldmine - a full book of business from a departing colleague. But on day one he was fire fighting…. Every client meeting started the same way: "Joe promised us those rate cuts..." "Joe said this would be approved..." "But Joe guaranteed..." The previous lender had spent years making commitments that were impossible - and sometimes illegal - to fulfill. What should have been relationship-building meetings turned into constant damage control. Trust wasn't just low. It was non-existent. And rebuilding it proved far harder than starting from scratch. Because now, every conversation was tainted by broken promises. Here’s what new lenders should understand: Inheriting a client book isn't always the opportunity it appears to be. Sometimes you're accepting a minefield of unrealistic expectations and shattered trust. So, before you jump at a colleague’s book, ask yourself: 🟢 What's the true quality of these relationships? 🟢 What commitments have already been made? 🟢 Are there any expectations I can't possibly meet? Because building your portfolio from scratch is easier than cleaning up someone else's mess. #effectuate Al Ki Consultants (al - KAI)

Stepping into a CEO role for the first time is like being handed the keys to a jet mid-flight... with no co-pilot and a storm rolling in. I recently coached a first-time CEO who found herself in exactly that spot. She came in ready to make her mark, but in her urgency to fix what wasn’t working, she unintentionally broke something far more fragile: trust. She moved too fast, questioned decisions without context, and tried to optimize before she understood. People felt micromanaged, dismissed, and devalued. Her intentions were good, but the impact was not. To her credit, she didn’t double down or blame others. She paused and took a hard look at what wasn’t working and committed to a reset. Here’s what rebuilding trust looked like: 1️⃣ 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. She got clear on the kind of leader she wanted to be, not just in strategy decks, but in everyday interactions. She worked to lead with curiosity, not control. 2️⃣ 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺. Instead of demanding alignment, she built it through real conversations, feedback loops, and shared ownership of the business. 3️⃣ 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆. This meant a real, non-performative listening tour across the business. She listened with humility, asked for feedback, and didn’t interrupt or defend. Over time, people saw that she wasn’t just saying the right things, she was changing how she led. Rebuilding trust doesn’t happen in a single all-hands. It happens in moments, in follow-through, and in letting go of ego long enough to truly listen. If you’ve lost trust as a leader, you’re not doomed. You’re just at the beginning of a different kind of leadership journey.

Manager: "Yes, this is a fully remote role." Engineer: “Great, can’t wait to get started.” (6 months later) "We need you in the office." Two engineers called me last week with this exact same story. Both took roles specifically for remote flexibility. Both restructured their entire lives around it. Both got yanked back to the office with zero warning. One had moved interstate. The other had built his family routine around zero commute. Now they're both in my inbox, looking for new jobs. The commute isn’t the real problem here. It’s about not keeping promises. Because once a company goes back on one commitment, every other promise starts to look shaky too: - Career progression? Probably performative. - Training budget? Convenient fiction. - Interesting projects? Until something cheaper comes along. Engineers talk. That’s the part employers overlook. They’re on Discord, Slack, Reddit… trading notes on which companies to avoid. Your "clever" recruitment strategy just became your reputation. The engineers that you let down checked out the day you changed the deal. Now they’re job-hunting from your meeting rooms. Taking recruiter calls over your office Wi-Fi. Updating LinkedIn profiles during your mandatory office hours. Want to know the easiest way to hire great talent? Do what you said you were going to do. Trust is harder to rebuild than any hiring pipeline.