Why overusing filler words undermines trust

Are you guilty of saying "RIGHT?" too much? As speakers, we all have our verbal crutches - those filler words and sounds that slip out when we're gathering our thoughts. The usual suspects:  "Umm," "like," "You know" But there's one sneaky filler that's the carbon monoxide of speaking sins: "right?" That little "right?" is more distracting than a runway of "umms" and "likes." It breaks the flow, undermines your authority, and screams "I'm not confident in what I'm saying!" On the surface, it seems harmless enough. Just a small vocal crutch to gather your thoughts. But burned into every presentation, that constant "right?-ing" is the speaker's equivalent of trailing off every sentence. It saps your authority. Undermines your command of the material. Reduces you to a questioner rather than THE authority figure demanding audiences' rapt attention. You've heard it before (right?). That subtle plea for validation. That nearly undetectable beg for the audience to nod along and confirm you're making sense. I know, I know, identifying the problem is nice.  Now help me Joe! You got it.  The fix is simpler than you think.  Ditch that requesting "right?" tic by owning your message. Remember you're an expert. You were invited to the stage, on the podcast, or to present at the meeting. Speak with conviction and let your words stand on their substance, not on desperate audience reassurance. ❌ "We've all been there, right?" ✅ "We've all been there." ❌ "Creativity is about connecting things, right?" ✅ "Creativity is about connecting things." ❌ "We can all be better, right?" ✅ "We can all be better." You'll be amazed at how much more powerfully your words land. No more meek fishing for nods - you're the expert dishing out insights, not requesting approval. Your audiences will thank you. You've got this. You can overcome this speaking crime and own the stage or meeting or podcast. You now have the awareness. It's time to practice. If you'd like to dive deeper or ask a personalized question, feel free to DM me. Happy to help you strangle any verbal bottlenecks sapping your authority when you get a microphone.

After 15+ years in sales, here’s a what I’ve learned. The words you choose are as important as the product you sell. Here are 7 phrases I hear too often, and why they quietly kill trust: ❌ “I’m just checking in” → Translation: “I don’t have a real reason to reach out.” Always give value when you show up. ❌ “To be honest with you” → Does that mean you weren’t honest before? Precision in language = precision in trust. ❌ “I can send you a proposal” → You’re handing over control. Instead: “Let’s walk through a proposal together to see if it fits.” ❌ “I haven’t heard back from you” → That’s your problem, not theirs. Instead: “I know timing is key. Is [X outcome] still a priority for this quarter?” ❌ “Trust me” → The fastest way to break trust is to ask for it. Earn it with proof, not promises. ❌ “I think” → If you’re uncertain, why should they be certain? Replace with “Here’s what we know from experience.” ❌ “Obviously” → Nothing is obvious to your customer. Clarity > assumption. 🔑 The fix: Your words should do 3 things in every sales conversation: Build confidence. Remove friction. Anchor value. If your language doesn’t do these 3, you’re accidentally selling yourself short. You don’t need to master a hundred sales tricks. All you need is to upgrade your words.

Even in a world where AI can write and create for us, your voice (i.e. how you show up in meetings, calls, and conversations) is still one of your most powerful leadership tools. The words we choose can either: Set the stage for confidence, credibility, and clarity - Or - Quietly undermine us without us even realizing it One of my personal goals this year is to continually elevate my communication as a leader; not in a pretentious way, but by being intentional about word choice. I’ve started by paying attention to the small things: those filler words and phrases that creep into conversations. Words like “just,” “hopefully,” or “kind of” may seem harmless, but they can subtly diminish how others perceive our confidence and authority. If you have a practice of regularly reviewing your zoom calls or transcripts, this becomes apparent very quickly (and can be quite painful at times!). But leaders need to watch game film in order to improve performance. It’s a fact. That’s why I put together a quick reference sheet of common filler words and stronger alternatives. Small swaps can make a big difference in how you’re heard and perceived. Are there any on this list that you have an opinion about? Or find yourself working on as well?

Want to sound more confident in interviews and/or work meetings? Check your use of filler words. Punctuating every statement with "uh," "um," and "you know," is one of the biggest ways you could be struggling in interviews or on calls without even being aware of it. And I'm fully aware this is probably going to be my least popular interview advice post ever, because no one I know enjoys doing the thing I’m about to tell you to do. If you think this is an area you need to work on, record yourself answering interview questions and watch/ listen to it back. I know, I know, it feels SO cringey to watch/listen to yourself, but you can learn so much valuable information about how you speak and present yourself from doing this. Having to record myself in a mock interview and then watch it back and critique it was one of my least favorite assignments in college ever at the time, but looking back, it was probably the most invaluable project I ever did in a college class. It helped me figure out my nervous ticks and made me realize that I used "like," and "um" as just about every third word. I know filler words are a thing that often comes with nerves, but using an excessive amount of filler words in an interview or a meeting is distracting and one of the quickest ways to come across like you lack confidence or certainty in your knowledge of what you're talking about. And the worst part about filler words is that most of us don't even realize how much we use them. Watching or listening to a recording of yourself is one of the quickest ways to figure out if this is something you need to work on in order to sound more confident + competent. It's a tough habit to break, but awareness of it is the first and biggest step! One of my mentors always says "there's power in the pause," and it couldn't be more true. You aren't always going to know exactly what to say in an interview or on a meeting, but there are better ways to buy yourself a moment to think besides filling the space with "ums." Have you ever recorded yourself speaking and watched it back? What did you learn from it?

“He lost the biggest deal because of ONE word.” I still remember sitting at the back of that glossy boardroom—mahogany table, chilled air-conditioning, the faint smell of freshly brewed coffee in the corner. The sales director I was training stood tall, suit perfectly pressed, eyes sharp with ambition. The client leaned forward and asked, “So… can you deliver?” There was a pause. Silence heavy enough to hear the ticking of the wall clock. And then came the reply that changed everything: 👉 “We’ll try our best.” Those four words were softer than they seemed. To the director, it sounded humble. To the client, it screamed uncertainty. You could almost feel the energy in the room shift. Shoulders stiffened. Eyes averted. Pens stopped scribbling. And within days, a $10 million deal slipped away—not because of strategy, not because of numbers… but because of words. 💔 That day, the director told me: “I didn’t know such a small phrase could cost me so big.” And that’s where our real training began. I showed him the power of certainty words: • Instead of “We’ll try” → “We will.” • Instead of “Hopefully” → “Here’s how we’ll make it happen.” • Instead of “Maybe” → “This is the plan.” The next time he stood in front of clients, his voice carried conviction, not caution. He didn’t just speak; he transmitted confidence. And the deals started coming back. 🌟 Lesson: In high-stakes communication, words are not fillers. They are weapons. They win trust. They decide millions. If you’re leading a Fortune 500 team, training your leaders on this is not optional. It’s survival. #CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #SoftSkillsTraining #Leadership #Fortune500 #BusinessGrowth #Storytelling #Negotiation #Boardroom

Are crutch words crushing your charisma?   I was once coaching a senior leader on his big pitch to key stakeholders. Slides? Spot on. Numbers? Flawless. On the big day, it happened. Every few sentences, it slipped out… “Um, Uh.” “Like.” “Actually”   By the end of 15 minutes, there were more than 30 fillers. The stakeholders smiled politely, but he could see it happening — eyes drifting, attention fading.     The truth is, we all use filler words. In fact, studies say the average person uses one every 11–12 words.   But here’s the catch: for leaders, fillers don’t just sound casual. They quietly chip away at your presence and credibility.   Why do we use them? Because our brain runs faster than our mouth. And when we pause to think, “um” rushes in to fill the silence. The solution? Silence, when used with intention, looks powerful. It makes you appear calm, confident, and in control.     Here are a few ways to replace fillers with presence: Pause instead. Swap “um” for a breath. Slow down. Nerves make us speed up — and add more fillers. Use bridges. Try “Here’s what I think…” or “That’s a great question…” Record yourself. Try this today. Record yourself for 2 minutes. Listen to how you sound. One step at a time. Replace just one filler with silence.     Start small — one pause today could be the first step to a presence people remember. Because when you own the silence, people lean in to hear your words.   What’s your most overused filler word?   #ConfidenceCoach  #LeadershipDevelopment #ConfidentCommunication #YourVoiceMatters

🐜 Filler words bugging you? Read on. I recently talked with a client who'd been interviewed on a podcast. She's a sought-after expert in her field. Wise, passionate, articulate. A dream interviewee who brings value in an engaging, connecting way. Her concern? Filler words. Filler words can be actual, no-value words or phrases like "I mean" and "you know" you overuse out of habit versus intention. Or they can be non-words like "uh" and "um" you use to fill any gaps. Want some help ditching the fillers? I've got a no-fail system for you. Step 1 - Pay attention. The first step in changing a habit is always awareness. If you're willing to be super-uncomfortable in your pursuit of excellence, record yourself and review. Not only can you catch the filler words and repetitive phrases you'd like to eliminate or minimize, but you'll also catch physical habits. Like pacing. Pointing. Shrugging. All fine in moderation but distracting in the extreme. Step 2 - Understand the why. I've never forgotten a filler word breakdown I heard from Roger Love. He pointed out that we use fillers in conversation to indicate we're still talking even as we wait for our next thought to load. Great news about public speaking: It's always your turn! Step 3 - Get comfortable with pauses. Instead of filling the gaps with fillers, pause. Give yourself a chance to think about your next thought or check your notes. A beat of silence isn't awkward for your audience. It's a gift. It's an opportunity to process what you've shared or give their brains a quick recess. Step 3 part 2 - Plan your transitions. Transitions can be a minefield for fillers as you shift from one thought to another. Do yourself a favor and think through them ahead of time. And a final thought: Don't let the fear of fillers make you robotic or overly formal in your speaking. Perfection is not relatable. Your aim is connection; not perfection. Be conversational. Be authentic. Be your best you. The value of energy, wisdom and connection will always outweigh the cost of any fillers. 100%.

Ever heard of talking yourself ineffective?  That’s what happens when you ramble and over-explain.  I worked for a boss who would answer a question and not realize they lost the room.  ▪ They kept talking.  ▪ Trying to land the point.  ▪ Trying to sound polished and prepared. But instead of clarity, they created confusion.  ▪ The team stopped taking notes.  ▪ The energy dropped.  ▪ And people started checking their phones.  That moment stuck with me and taught me a lesson I’ll never forget: When you ramble, you don’t just lose attention. You lose trust. Why? Because if you don’t have control over your words, your team starts to wonder what else you don’t have control over. You keep talking long after you made your point—and your credibility starts to slip. A 2019 study in Frontiers in Psychology backs this up: Researchers found that leaders who are clear, mindful, and self-regulated—are more trusted and respected by their teams. And that trust was directly tied to how they communicated. Rambling signals a lack of self-awareness. Clear, concise communication signals control and confidence. You don’t have to speak more to prove you’re prepared. You don’t have to fill space to show you’re smart. You just have to slow down, get clear, and speak like your words matter—because they do. Here’s a small shift you can try: Before you answer, pause. Ask yourself: What’s the one thing I want to land here? Your team doesn’t need a lecture. They need leadership—delivered clearly and intentionally. 🔌 Follow Rafael to get daily insights and tips to make your work-life better. 

3 speaking mistakes that undermine your leadership🚫 When you speak in front of people, every word and movement matter. Every speaking opportunity is an opportunity to enhance people's understanding, motivation and engagement. And quite obviously, we want to maximize that speaking time. To achieve this, most of us must be honest to ourselves and take a close look at bad habits and get rid of them🫣 I get a lot of questions about how to get rid of these bad habits – so I've collected 3 common pitfalls in communication that unknowingly sabotage credibility and what you can do differently: 1️⃣ Step Forward, Not Backward: In the first 10 seconds, resist the instinct to retreat. Taking a step back can inadvertently signal doubt in your own words. Step forward instead—it signifies confidence in your message and a desire to connect with your audience. 2️⃣ Hands-On Engagement: Where your hands are matters! Keeping them behind your back or tucked away can diminish your presence. Place your hands in front of your stomach, like you hold a Nintendo Wii control in each hand. Use the hands purposefully to emphasize key points, aligning your words with impactful gestures. 3️⃣ Banish Filler Words: Fillers like "uh," "um," and "you know" will erode the strength of your message. Worst case, people will start counting your filler words instead of listening to your message. Reduce these by practicing my 'Power Circles,' a concise method to sharpen your speech and exude leadership prowess: Hello, everyone [pause] Great to see you today [pause] I have been looking forward to share some exciting news with you [pause] Let's head into it! [pause] Now, this is executive presence and will make people pay attention! 🔥 Drawing from my early musical training playing trumpet, I've learned that mastering the small things is key – and these bad habits may seem like they don't matter in the big picture. But they do. Trust your techniques and training—onstage or in leadership, it's about shining for both yourself and your audience. 🎺✨ #executivepresence #publicspeaking #leadershipdevelopment