Why casual commitments erode trust

It’s not one big mistake that kills trust… It’s your tiny daily habits. Most successful leaders know: relationships rarely fall apart because of one big incident. It’s the small, daily habits in how we speak that quietly erode trust over time. (Join Justin Bateh and me for more about how to recognize the hidden signals that erode trust on Aug 26th: https://lnkd.in/gvwchpk9) Research shows that these seemingly minor behaviors have a huge impact on how others perceive your leadership: 1. The Interrupter ❌ Cutting others off sends the message, “My ideas matter more than yours.” Even well-intentioned interruptions can chip away at psychological safety. 2. The Dismisser ❌ Phrases like “That’s not important right now” or “Let’s move on,” and dismissive body language (eye rolls, checking your phone) make people feel unheard. 3. The Credibility Underminer ❌ Constantly saying “kind of,” “maybe,” or “I think” leaves you sounding uncertain, even when you’re not. 4. The Non-Listener ❌ Not following up or paraphrasing responses shows disinterest. When you pass up a chance to say, “Tell me more,” you miss a moment to build connection. 5. The Inconsistent Gazer ❌ Erratic eye contact creates subtle discomfort. People wonder if you’re hiding something—or not fully present. As a coach to women executives, I often see these patterns affect female leaders more. Many of us were raised to be “nice” rather than direct, which can unintentionally undercut our authority. The upside? Small changes make a big difference: ✅ Stop and focus on what they other person feels is important right now ✅ Instead of interrupting, take a breath and let them finish ✅ Say what you want to say (and skip the qualifiers) ✅ Ask one qualifying question before moving on ✅ Practice keeping eye contact for 3 seconds Trust isn’t built on grand gestures, but on consistent, respectful communication. P.S. What habits have you noticed in your workplace? (I’ve been guilty of being an Interrupter and a Dismisser due to rushing) ♻️ Repost to help others build trust through conversation Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights Research: Academy of Management Review https://lnkd.in/g-wxFvzr

Asking for help is hard. It feels like admitting we are not enough, or that we should have already known the answer. Most people wait until the tank is below empty before they say anything. So, when someone finally reaches out, realize it is not casual. It is courage. If you say you will help, that promise is part of their safety net. Keep it. Put it on your calendar. Move something if you must. Send the invite, set the reminder, tell them what time you will show up and what you will bring. The content matters, but the follow through is what restores trust and momentum. Unless there is a true emergency, do what you said you would do. A few simple habits that make this real? When the team asks, name the next step out loud, with a when and a who. Avoid the vague “I’ll take a look.” Write down the deliverable and confirm it back to them. If you hit a roadblock, update early and offer a new plan rather than disappearing into silence. And if you cannot help in the way they asked, try to connect them to someone who can. Here is the other side. When you ask for help, be clear about the problem and the timeline. You are not burdening the team. You are giving them a chance to do their job. Grace goes both ways. Teams do not fall apart because people never need help. Teams fall apart because people ask, promises are made, and then nothing happens. Do the small things that keep commitments intact. Show up when you say you will. Deliver what you promised. That is how trust compounds and how people feel safe asking again before the tank is empty.

Sometimes trust doesn’t break in big, dramatic ways. It breaks in the small, everyday moments, like being left on read after a Zoom meeting, or when follow-ups never come. In my conversation with author Kanika Tolver, I shared one of the seven languages: Follow-Through. To me, consistency is credibility. If you don’t close the loop, you leave people questioning if they can count on you. Here’s the thing: 1. A meeting without clear next steps creates uncertainty. 2. An email with no reply feels like invisibility. 3. Promises without follow-through erode trust, one gap at a time. It’s not just about being responsive; it’s about building a rhythm of reliability. That’s how leaders (and teams) create cultures where trust isn’t hanging on by a thread. Sharing a clip from my chat with Kanika—because if trust is the glue that holds teams together, follow-through is what keeps it from drying out. What’s your trust language when it comes to teamwork (Transparency, Demonstration, Follow-Through, Feedback, Acknowledgment, Sensitivity, and Security)?

This one hit hard…not because I haven’t seen it….but because I’ve been guilty of it. Good intentions.  Nice words.  But no real change behind them.  CAREWASHING is real. And if you’re in a position of influence - leading teams, managing culture, or shaping messaging - you’ve probably done it, too. ➤You say “we care about mental health,” but pile on deadlines with no boundaries. ➤ You say “we value integrity,” but keep toxic top performers around because you’re afraid to lose their numbers. ➤You say “we’re like a family,” but hand out years-of-service awards while treating people like they’re disposable behind closed doors.   The gap between what we say and what we do is where trust erodes.  And in that gap, people leave…emotionally, then physically.   One of my deepest beliefs:  Psychological Safety is the foundation of trust and trust is what makes real impact possible - in teams, organizations, and communities.   You want to amplify it? 🔸Listen more. 🔸Say “thank you” when someone challenges the norm. 🔸Back people up, especially young women in male dominated spaces.   Because trust doesn’t live in the core values on your office walls; it lives in what your team experiences every single day. https://lnkd.in/g4rA6YA8

The Meeting After the Meeting One of the most subtle ways leaders erode trust without even realizing is through “the meeting after the meeting.” You wrap up a meeting, and as everyone starts leaving or logging off, you casually say " Sam and Rob, can you stick around for a sec?" Seems harmless. You just want to quickly sync on something. But what just happened in everyone else's head is; What did I miss? Was there something I wasn't trusted to hear? Are they making decisions without me? It may not sound logical, but trust isn’t purely logical. It’s emotional. And moments like this can make people feel excluded, even if that wasn’t your intent. If you genuinely need to connect with a few people right after on a different topic, be clear. As the meeting closes, say; "Thanks everyone. Sam and Rob, stay back for two minutes, I want to check on a different topic.” Or set expectations upfront: "First 30 minutes are for everyone, then just Sam and Rob for budget details." It’s such a small adjustment, but it signals respect to everyone in the room. Your team can't read your mind. They won't always know your good intentions, your time constraints. Trust is built in small, visible ways. Often, it’s not the big betrayals that break it, but the little moments where people feel left out or second-guessed. Don’t let an unnoticed habit quietly chip away at it.