Use warmth to build trust without avoiding conflict

Honesty and directness are two of the most valuable traits in any workplace, yet I feel we are losing them...or losing the skill behind them. While many people are avoiding directness for fear of causing discomfort, others dive into “telling it like it is” without the tact and empathy that make honest feedback constructive. Somewhere along the line, these important qualities got tangled up with conflict or insensitivity, making many people shy away from direct feedback or honest opinions. It's important to recognize that: 💡 People often seek reassurance or pity, but what they often need most is honesty and directness. ⚠️ And if we don't recognize this and we lose honesty and directness, we lose the foundation for trust and growth. ⚡ Empathy and kindness are crucial at work, but they shouldn’t come at the expense of clarity and truth. We need to show people we value them by delivering the truth with empathy and respect. When we do this, we also impact efficiency. Instead of tiptoeing around issues, we can address them, find solutions, and move forward. Problems that might have lingered for months can be addressed in a single, honest conversation. There is no need to choose between being direct and being empathetic! It’s about combining the two thoughtfully. ✔️ Take a moment to notice your own emotion and consider how your words and tone will be received ✔️ Be conscious of tact, timing and empathy ✔️ Be specific and constructive..."I've noticed (specific issue) and I'd like to chat about what we can do about it" ✔️ Focus on the issue not the person ✔️ Encourage people to give YOU constructive feedback...and highlight that it goes both ways ✔️ Stick to facts, not opinions. And be clear on the impact before seeking solutions. Change starts with LEADERS! Research from Edelman’s Trust Barometer shows that transparency and honesty are top drivers of trust in leadership, with 84% of respondents saying that open and honest communication from leaders builds trust. We are all leaders in some respect so we can all ask ourselves...am I being direct and honest enough with the people around me? The people I care about? ❓ What are your thoughts on the topic ❓ How can leaders strike the right balance between honesty and empathy to build a culture of trust ❓ What’s one approach that’s worked well for you ❓ Leave your comments below 🙏 #trust #respect #openness #honesty #leadership #teamwork

#Kindness is often #misunderstood. Too many people equate it with being overly accommodating, avoiding difficult conversations, or putting others' needs ahead of our own at all costs. But true kindness has nothing to do with people-pleasing. In fact, the strongest and most meaningful relationships—both personal and professional—are built on a balance of kindness and firmness. At its core, #kindness is about #respect, #integrity, and #consideration for others. It is about creating an environment where people feel valued and heard. But for kindness to be sustainable and impactful, it must be paired with firmness—clarity, boundaries, and discipline. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 Being kind doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations or allowing others to cross boundaries. Genuine kindness allows us to approach people with honesty while maintaining a deep sense of respect. It means standing up for what is right, not out of aggression, but from a place of #understanding and #fairness. A leader who embodies kindness and firmness will listen to their team with empathy but also hold them accountable for their responsibilities. A parent who nurtures their child with love will also set clear expectations and teach responsibility. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 Being firm is often confused with being rigid or harsh. But true #firmness is about #clarity, #consistency, and #decisiveness. It allows relationships to flourish because it removes ambiguity. When people know where they stand, when expectations are clear, and when there is mutual respect, trust is built. Imagine a workplace where kindness exists without firmness. It might feel warm and welcoming at first, but without structure, discipline, or accountability, frustration will arise. On the other hand, an environment that is only firm without kindness creates fear, resistance, and disengagement. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐭: 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭, 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐦 When kindness and firmness go hand in hand, we create relationships that are built on #trust and respect. We foster workplaces where people feel #psychologically #safe yet understand the standards they need to meet. We cultivate friendships and family connections where love is expressed openly, but where healthy boundaries are respected. Kindness without firmness can lead to overextension, burnout, and even being taken for granted. Firmness without kindness can lead to alienation and resistance. But when the two come together, they create a foundation for relationships that are strong, respectful, and enduring. Let’s stop seeing kindness as weakness and firmness as coldness. Instead, let’s embrace both—because when combined, they create a #leadership #style, a relationship dynamic, and a way of being that is both #powerful and deeply #human. Much love, Barbara

🔹 Spread Kindness—Even to Your Opponents 🔹 In business, as in life, we often encounter opposition. It might come from a competitor, a colleague who disagrees with our ideas, or even someone trying to discredit our work. The natural response is to push back, prove them wrong, or shut them down. But what if we chose a different path? What if we responded with kindness? Not weakness. Not passivity. But true, grounded kindness—the kind that stems from strength, not insecurity. Why Be Kind to Those Who Oppose You? Because kindness isn't just about being nice. It’s a strategic leadership trait. It shows emotional intelligence, maturity, and a long-term mindset. When you treat your "opponents" with respect and compassion, three things happen: 1. You disarm hostility. Most people expect resistance. When you show them unexpected grace, it often softens their approach. 2. You gain insight. Opposition isn't always personal—it's perspective. Listening to someone who challenges you can reveal blind spots, improve your strategy, or even create opportunities for collaboration. 3. You build reputation. People remember how you made them feel, especially during conflict. Kindness under pressure builds trust, credibility, and long-term influence. A Real-World Example I once worked on a project where a peer consistently challenged my ideas in meetings. It would’ve been easy to view them as the antagonist. But instead, I set up a one-on-one meeting—not to defend myself, but to understand their concerns. That conversation changed everything. We found common ground. We didn’t always agree, but we developed mutual respect. Months later, that same person advocated for me during a pivotal career opportunity. Opposition turned into alliance—because I chose understanding over ego. A Reminder for Leaders Whether you're in a boardroom, a startup, or a nonprofit—you're going to face friction. How you respond says more about you than about them. ☑️ You can protect your boundaries AND be kind. ☑️ You can disagree fiercely AND respect deeply. ☑️ You can be competitive AND human. In an age of polarization, kindness is a competitive advantage. So the next time you're tempted to "win" by tearing someone down, try lifting the conversation instead. It might be the most powerful move you make. #Leadership #Kindness #EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolution #ProfessionalGrowth #Teamwork #EmpathyInAction #LinkedInWisdom

As a therapist, people literally paid me to make them uncomfortable. That might sound backwards, but any good therapist creates a safe space for people to process the most uncomfortable things—shame, fear, failure, grief. We earn that permission by proving we're trustworthy enough to handle it. The same dynamic powers high-performing teams. Most teams confuse psychological safety with comfort. They think it means avoiding hard conversations or softening feedback. (Spoiler Alert: that's just conflict avoidance wearing a name tag.) Real psychological safety means people can challenge ideas, admit mistakes, and disagree openly—without fear of humiliation or retaliation. It's not about protecting feelings. It's about protecting truth-telling. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫: Google's Project Aristotle found psychological safety was the #1 predictor of high-performing teams. Not talent. Not resources. Not the number of whiteboards in the conference room. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐭: 1. 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬. Start meetings with "What are we missing?" or "Who disagrees?" Don't just tolerate dissent—make it part of the culture. 2. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞. When something goes wrong, ask "What can we learn?" before "Who's responsible?" Your response to failure teaches people whether honesty is safe. 3. 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭. Share your own uncertainties and mistakes before asking others to. Leaders who admit "I don't know" or "I screwed this up" give everyone else permission to be human too. 4. 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. Challenge thinking aggressively while respecting people completely. "I have concerns about that direction" opens dialogue. "That's a stupid idea" opens LinkedIn job searches. 5. 𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞. When someone speaks up with bad news, thank them publicly. When someone admits a mistake early, celebrate the integrity. What gets recognized gets repeated. (I need to remember this with my kids) The uncomfortable truth? Building psychological safety requires more courage than avoiding it. It means having harder conversations earlier. It means tolerating short-term discomfort for long-term trust. It means being the kind of leader people can be honest with—even when that honesty stings. That's not "being nice." That's being effective. Q: What's one way you've seen psychological safety (or the lack of it) impact team performance? #psychologicalSafety #leadership #workplaceculture 💡 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the most overhyped, underutilized, and misused skill. I partner with leaders and teams to do the deeper work that elevates their EQ to create psychological safety and agency. Because every day we’re peopling—and we can people better.