Trust-Building Conversations For Teams

People often ask me for quick ways to build trust on a team. I have a dozen solid go-to moves, but one stands out because it’s dead simple and nearly always works. You’ve probably heard of the “connection before content” idea—starting meetings with a personal check-in to warm up the room. But let’s be honest: questions like “What’s your favorite color?” or “What five things would you bring on a deserted island?” don’t build trust. They just waste time. If you want a real trust-builder, here’s the question I use: “𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄?” That’s it. One question. And here’s why it works: 𝟭. It creates vulnerability without forcing it. You can’t answer this question without being a little real. And when someone’s real with you, it’s hard not to trust them more. You see the human behind the role. 𝟮. It unlocks practical support. Once I hear your challenge, I can picture how to help. I feel drawn to back you up. That’s the foundation of real partnership at work. 𝟯. It increases mutual understanding. Sometimes we feel disconnected from teammates because we don’t know what they actually do all day. When someone shares a challenge, it opens a window into their work and the complexity they’re navigating. If you’re short on time, allergic to fluff, and want something that actually bonds your team—this is your move. Ten minutes, and you’ll feel the shift."

Your team just told you they're burned out. What you say in the next 30 seconds will either build trust or destroy it forever. Most leaders think trust is built through big gestures and annual reviews. But after coaching hundreds of executives, I've learned the truth: trust lives in those split-second moments when someone brings you a problem. Here's what happens when your team raises concerns: What breaks trust: ❌ Dismissing their reality → "Everyone's busy right now" → Translation: Your wellbeing doesn't matter ❌ Making it about you → "I worked 80 hours last week too" → Translation: Your struggle isn't valid ❌ Using guilt as motivation → "We need team players here" → Translation: Speaking up makes you disloyal Instead of defaulting to defensiveness, here’s how we guide leaders to respond—using the CHANGES framework from Conversational Intelligence®: 🤝 C - Co-Creating (Shift from Excluding to Including) → "Thank you for trusting me with this - let's solve it together" → Makes them part of the solution, not the problem 🤝 H - Humanizing (Shift from Judging to Appreciating) → "Your honesty takes courage and helps our whole team" → Demonstrate respect for their contribution 🤝 A - Aspiring (Shift from Limiting to Expanding Aspirations) → "This feedback helps us create the culture we want" → Connect their concern to bigger organizational goals 🤝 N - Navigating (Shift from Withholding to Sharing) → "Let me share what I'm seeing and hear your perspective" → Create transparency around challenges and solutions 🤝 G - Generativity (Shift from Knowing to Discovering) → "What ideas do you have that we haven't tried yet?" → Reward their insights and encourage innovation 🤝 E - Expressing (Shift from Dictating to Developing) → "How can we empower you to make decisions about your workload?" → Inspire them to own solutions 🤝 S - Synchronizing (Shift from Criticizing to Celebrating) → "Here's what we're changing because you spoke up" → Celebrate their courage and close the feedback loop The hidden cost of getting this wrong: – Your best people stop bringing you problems – Issues explode instead of getting solved early – Innovation dies because psychological safety doesn't exist The payoff of getting this right: – Teams that come to you first when things go wrong, not last. – Projects move faster because the sticky points come up early. – Conflict fades as respect and tolerance goes up. Your next conversation is your next opportunity to choose trust over control. Start with one letter that comes most easily and work your way through CHANGES… one each day. P.S. Which CHANGES element do you need most right now? 🔔 Follow me, Jill Avey, for more leadership insights that move careers forward ♻️ Share to help leaders build stronger teams

15 Questions Thoughtful Leaders Ask to Build Trust I once believed trust was built by delivering big wins. But real trust starts with genuine curiosity and listening. Here are 15 questions that thoughtful leaders use to spark deeper connection and loyalty: 1️⃣ How are you, really? ↳ Starts with genuine care about the person. 2️⃣ What’s one small win you’re proud of this week? ↳ Brings positivity and acknowledges progress. 3️⃣ Is there anything we haven’t addressed that concerns you? ↳ Invites hidden thoughts or worries to surface. 4️⃣ What do you need from me right now? ↳ Shows willingness to support in a concrete way. 5️⃣ Where do you feel stuck? ↳ Identifies obstacles and demonstrates empathy. 6️⃣ What have you already tried? ↳ Builds on existing efforts and prevents rehashing the same solutions. 7️⃣ How can we make this process simpler? ↳ Prompts a collaborative search for more efficient approaches. 8️⃣ Who else’s perspective should we consider? ↳ Expands thinking and values diverse input. 9️⃣ Can you tell me more about how you arrived at that idea? ↳ Shows genuine interest in their thought process. 🔟 Which part of your work brings you the most energy? ↳ Helps align tasks with strengths and passion. 1️⃣1️⃣ What would success look like for you personally? ↳ Personalizes goals and respects individual definitions of success. 1️⃣2️⃣ How would you like to be recognized for your efforts? ↳ Tailors rewards to individual preferences. 1️⃣3️⃣ Who on the team deserves a shoutout this week? ↳ Fosters a culture of mutual appreciation. 1️⃣4️⃣ What’s one thing you’d change if you could? ↳ Encourages reflection on improvements or new opportunities. 1️⃣5️⃣ What’s your biggest takeaway from our conversation? ↳ Reinforces clarity, alignment, and next steps. Trust is built one genuine question at a time—when people see you care enough to truly listen. Which question will you start with today? Share below ♻️ Repost to help other leaders build genuine connections 🔔 Follow Dr. Chris Mullen for more insights on leadership and team-building