Maintaining trust when you can't help directly

Here's a proven way to build trust among customers. Recently, I saw two contrasting responses in customer service in a span of 2 days. The first was at a new restaurant that we were checking out. Like I do quite often, I asked - what do you recommend in seafood? The server pointed at a particular dish and said with a big smile - this one is good. I asked him - is it too spicy? Not at all sir, it is not spicy at all. Only to be proven very wrong in a matter of a few minutes! 🔥 🔥 The second was at a salon, where the guy was telling me about a new natural moisturizer brand they are using. I asked if he was sure it didn't have chemicals. He looked curiously at the bottle for a moment and then replied - "pata nahi sir, abhi check karke batata hoon" [I don't know sir. I will check and tell you right away] Contrasting, isn't it? Saying "I don't know" is a bit of a blow to the ego, right? After all, isn’t a business supposed to have all the answers? Not really. A business is not expected to have all the answers. The truth is - pretending to know everything can actually hurt your credibility. Customers value honesty and effort far more than a polished but false response. The most honest, trust-building phrase in customer service is not - “We’re here to help.” It is “𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄—𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁.” Today, customers can spot when someone’s winging it. A vague or wrong answer can erode trust faster than silence. And when trust is broken, you lose not just one customer—it’s their referrals, reviews, and the goodwill they could have spread about your business. On the other hand, admitting “I don’t know” (and following up with a solution) shows humility, honesty, and a commitment to finding the correct answer. It’s the kind of moment that transforms a transaction into a relationship. Here’s how you can ace the art of “I don’t know” without compromising on a great customer experience: 👉 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 “𝗜 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄” 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 “𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁” Always pair honesty with action. Customers will appreciate your willingness to go the extra mile to find the right solution. 👉 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 Equip your team with the confidence to admit when they are unsure and the skills to research or escalate issues effectively. 👉 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄-𝗨𝗽 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 If you need time to find the answer, give the customer a timeline. Then, stick to it. 👉 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Customers don’t expect you to know everything. They expect you to care. Show them that their problem matters more than your pride. Saying “I don’t know” is not a weakness. It is strength. It signals honesty, commitment, and a willingness to grow. That’s what customers remember and rave about. Have you felt the power of "I don't know"? #customercentricity #customerservice #vinaypushpakaran

“Let Me Get Back to You”  – why this builds trust in sales demos You're 32 minutes into your demo. Everything is going well.  The customer seems interested. Then they ask a question you didn’t expect. You pause. You could try to guess the answer. You could say something that sounds close. You could keep talking and hope it’s okay. But instead, you say: “That’s a good question. I’m not 100% sure. Let me check and get back to you.” And then, something strange happens. Not on their side—but inside your own head. And then the doubt creeps in. Will they think I’m not an expert? Did I just lose their trust? Will sales be disappointed? Let me share something I’ve learned from watching hundreds of demos. In complex demos, there is always something unexpected. And that moment—when you don’t know the answer—can feel uncomfortable. I hear this every time in training sessions. Even very experienced people say,  “I feel like I should know everything.” The truth is, you don’t have to. Let me share what happens when you lean into honesty instead of pressure. A few weeks ago, a team was giving a demo to a large bank. Everything was going well. Then one person asked: “Can your platform work with our pricing system from 2009?” The solution consultant looked calm and said: “That’s a very specific question. I want to make sure I give you the correct answer, so I’ll check with our integration team and send you a short update tomorrow morning. Is that okay?” The customer said: “Yes. Thank you. I really appreciate that you didn’t just guess.” They didn’t lose trust—they earned it. Because customers don’t expect you to know everything. They expect you to be honest. They are asking themselves: - Can I trust this person? - Will they be honest when it’s difficult? - Will they do what they say? When you say, “let me get back to you,” you are saying: I care about being accurate. I care about you. And that builds trust. If you find it hard to say “I don’t know,”  here are a few things to keep in mind: 1. Be clear and confident. Say: “I want to be sure I give you the right answer, not just a quick one.” 2. Give a time for follow-up. Say: “I’ll confirm this and send you an update tomorrow morning.” 3. Use the follow-up as a second chance. If your demos are full of answers, but you rarely follow up, you might be missing something important. You miss the opportunity to go back and say: “Here’s the answer to your question. And by the way—how was the demo received? Any concerns? Anything else you need to know?” That moment is more than a technical update. It’s a chance to restart the conversation, invite feedback, and show that you care—not just about being right, but about being helpful. The best demos are not perfect. They are honest. Calm. Human. So let me ask you: When was the last time “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” helped you build trust? Drop a comment if you’ve experienced this moment too. #salesdemos #productdemo #SAAS

“𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲.” That’s what one of his nurses said. And it jerked him out of his defensive stance. This week, I coached a nurse manager who got hit hard— Not by the complaints... But by the realization that he wasn’t actually listening. Here’s what happened: A staff member came to him angry, frustrated, and ready to transfer off the unit. He felt attacked. His instinct? Defend. Explain. Fix. He told me, “𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, ,𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯,’ 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.” It wasn’t about who was right. It was about 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚. Because underneath the defensiveness was something softer: → Fear of being misunderstood. → Fear of not doing enough. → Fear of losing a good nurse. We talked about what leadership really looks like in these moments. It’s not about solutions. It’s about presence. When someone brings you pain, you don’t need to fix it. You need to 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 it. Here’s what I encouraged him to try instead next time: ➡️ “What’s most important for me to understand right now?” ➡️ “Can you help me see this from your perspective?” ➡️ “What would help you feel heard in this moment?” Because when we get curious, we make space. And when we make space, we build trust. The need to have the last word rarely has to do with the current conversation. It usually comes from a younger part of us, desperate to feel safe or seen. So I asked him: What would happen if you didn’t say that last thing? What part of you is afraid to be misunderstood? What would change if you trusted silence more than certainty? Leadership is less about being right—and more about being engaged and connected. And sometimes the bravest thing you can do… Is not to aim to 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, but to be willing to accept and understand a different perspective. Ever had to coach yourself through the urge to be right? You’re not the only one. And that awareness? It’s the beginning of better conversations and connections. Have you experienced a version of this in your leadership? #BelongingCulture #nurseretention #EIleadership #ilenesippcoaching ♻️ Please share if you found value here.

Sage Advice That Changed My Game A mentor said, “You never know who’s watching or who you’ll meet, so act consistently and reliably.” Nearly every job and every business opportunity I’ve landed has come through trust that makes referrals and references possible. Trust is about keeping promises and creating an experience of reliability, understanding, and care that others remember long after an interaction ends. People must count on you to act when it’s your turn, not second-guess if you’ll follow through. Recently, Microsoft experienced a significant outage, and this comment in Inc. caught my attention: “...if you make a piece of software that millions of people depend on..., trust is your most valuable asset. And trust is a thing you earn through clear and transparent information. Anything less is the one thing no company should ever do.” Of course, we’re all human; sometimes, things slip through the cracks. Apologize sincerely and look for a way to remedy the situation. Repairing trust strengthens your reputation if handled with integrity. Trust also means maintaining a steady presence that others can lean on. When my husband had to undergo major surgery, I took a “warm blanket” approach. I stayed in touch with everyone, used reassuring words, and focused on what we did know in the present moment. This approach kept me calm, too, as everything worked out step by step. It was a powerful reminder that calm confidence doesn’t just help others. It can also give you the strength to face uncertainty with grace. Trust means being honest. I’ve learned it’s far better to say, “I didn’t see that coming, but here’s what I’ve learned and what I’ll do next.” When part of a meeting didn’t go as planned, I debriefed with the CEO to understand what would have been a better approach. I then emailed an apology to the group, explaining what we missed and outlining a clear plan to move forward. Owning the truth shows accountability and a willingness to grow, which are qualities people respect and remember. If you want to build trust, start with empathy and curiosity. Empathy means reading between the lines and acknowledging someone’s unspoken feelings. Whether it’s the look on their face, the tone in their voice, or an emotional undercurrent, letting people know you truly see and hear them builds a connection they’ll value. Curiosity means genuinely wanting to understand someone else’s experiences, ideas, and priorities. By showing interest in their perspective, you demonstrate that their point of view matters to you. People who sense that you get them are more likely to trust you. That trust, in turn, strengthens every interaction, making it easier to build meaningful connections that last. Trust is cultivated through consistent actions, clear communication, and a genuine interest in others. Once you’ve earned trust, it becomes the foundation of your relationships and the key to unlocking new opportunities.