How conditional support erodes trust in teams

I'll never forget reading my 360 feedback. "Dora prioritizes harmony and being liked over speaking uncomfortable truths." That hit hard. Because they were right. My team didn't need a cheerleader. They needed a leader. Since then, I've noticed similar patterns with the clients I coach. These habits look helpful,  but they erode trust: 1. Volunteering Your Team Without Asking ↳ You promise to help before checking capacity ↳ "Let me check our team capacity and get back to you tomorrow" 2. Pretending to Love Their Hobbies ↳ CEO mentions wine, you become a fake sommelier ↳ "I don't know much about wine, but I'd love to learn. What got you interested?" 3. Making Every Decision by Consensus ↳ You poll 12 people, still gathering input 6 weeks later ↳ Get input from 2-3 key people, then make the call and own it 4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations ↳ Top performer is rude, you drop hints instead of addressing it ↳ "I've noticed tension with the team. Let's talk about what's happening" 5. Over-Apologizing for Tough Decisions ↳ Your excessive apologies create team panic ↳ "We need to cut 10% from the budget. Here's why and how we'll handle it" 6. Trying to "Save" Struggling Team Members Alone ↳ You quietly redo their work at night ↳ "I've noticed you're struggling with X. What support do you need to succeed?" 7. Hiding Challenges to Keep Everyone Comfortable ↳ Major client threatens to leave, but "everything's great!" ↳ "Our client has some concerns, here's our plan" The fastest-rising leaders I work with all share one trait:  They'd rather be respected than liked. It's uncomfortable. It's also why they rise. ♻️ Repost to help your network ➕ Follow Dora Vanourek for more

Two words that quietly kill trust, momentum, and leadership itself. Red. Amber. Green. All on at once. I was speaking to a leader last week. He said: “Gopal, I’m frustrated! My boss keeps saying ‘Let’s see’ to every decision. We don’t know whether to move or wait anymore.” I smiled. Not because it was funny. But because I’ve seen this pattern too often. I’ve worked with leaders who unknowingly weaponise two words: “Let’s see.” It sounds harmless. But it sends mixed signals that paralyse teams. Just like this traffic light. ⇢ Should I stop? ⇢ Should I wait? ⇢ Should I move? When leadership doesn’t commit, people don’t move. They hesitate. Second-guess. Spin in circles. And over time, trust erodes. Not because leaders are bad. But because they’re unclear. And ambiguity is exhausting for teams. It drains energy. Slows down progress. It creates a culture where no one knows what good looks like anymore. Here’s what "Let’s see" really does: ⇢ It creates the illusion of openness, but breeds frustration and inertia. ⇢ It pretends to buy time, but slowly sells out trust. ⇢ It sounds diplomatic, but is often fear: of being wrong, of upsetting someone, of being accountable. ⇢ It feels like thoughtfulnes, but your team needs direction, not endless reflection. And here’s the part no one says: The longer you stay in “Let’s see” mode, the more your team disengages. And if you’re reading this thinking: "Maybe I say ‘Let’s see’ too often." Good. That’s the first step. If you truly need more conviction, build it. But don’t hide behind the comfort of ambiguity. Leadership is about making calls when clarity is incomplete. ⇢ Where am I hiding behind "Let’s see"? ⇢ What decision am I postponing, that is costing my team trust? ⇢ Am I seeking more conviction, or avoiding more responsibility? And if you work with a leader stuck in “Let’s see” mode, don’t sit frozen. (I’ve failed here multiple times in the past!) Push for clarity. Ask: By when can we decide? What are we waiting for? What would help you commit? Waiting indefinitely is a choice too. One that costs you momentum. Safe leaders stall. Brave leaders decide. And remember: Leadership isn’t about lighting every path. It’s about choosing one, and walking it first. #careershifts #silentskills #leadershiptruths #decisionmaking #leadershiplessons

Trust erosion isn't about big betrayals. It's about tiny cracks no one addresses. Your leadership team looks perfect on paper: 🧠 Smart people 🎯 Shared goals 💪 Strong skills But something's off. ⚡ Meetings feel tense. ⏸️ Decisions stall. 🏜️ Innovation dries up. The culprit? Trust microbreaches - those tiny violations that silently poison executive teams from within. ⚡ 7 microbreaches destroying your leadership team: 1. The hijacked idea that loses its original owner 🎭 ↳ "Great suggestion from Marketing" becomes "As I was saying earlier..." ↳ Creates invisible scorecards no one discusses 2. Feedback shared about colleagues, not with them 🗣️ ↳ "Between us, I'm concerned about Sarah's approach" ↳ Makes psychological safety impossible 3. The subtle eye roll during someone's presentation 👁️ ↳ Non-verbal disagreement without accountability ↳ Signals to others which ideas are actually valued 4. Selective listening during team discussions 🎧 ↳ Full attention for some, emails checked during others ↳ Establishes whose input "really matters" 5. Showing up late to only certain people's meetings ⏰ ↳ Time becomes a weapon of priority ↳ Patterns speak louder than apologies 6. The side conversation after meetings 🚪 ↳ Real decisions happen in hallways, not boardrooms ↳ Fragments your team into information silos 7. The pre-meeting lobbying for decisions 🎪 ↳ "I wanted to get your thoughts before the group discussion" ↳ Transforms collaboration into theater The danger? These moments happen so frequently they become invisible. But your team keeps score. Always. 🌟 Breaking the pattern requires immediate action: 1. Name the pattern in real-time ↳ "I noticed that idea was dismissed, then accepted when restated" ↳ Visibility disrupts what thrives in silence 2. Create microrepairs daily ↳ "I interrupted you earlier - I'd like to hear your complete thought" ↳ Small fixes compound faster than offsite retreats 3. Document specific trust behaviors ↳ "We address concerns directly with each other, not about each other" ↳ Reference them when breaches occur ❌ High-performing teams aren't perfect teams. ✅ They're teams that repair trust faster than it breaks. Which microbreach is quietly eroding your leadership team today? Please share below ⬇️ ♻️ Repost to help your network build leadership teams that last. 🔔 Follow Eva Gysling, OLY for more.

This one hit hard…not because I haven’t seen it….but because I’ve been guilty of it. Good intentions.  Nice words.  But no real change behind them.  CAREWASHING is real. And if you’re in a position of influence - leading teams, managing culture, or shaping messaging - you’ve probably done it, too. ➤You say “we care about mental health,” but pile on deadlines with no boundaries. ➤ You say “we value integrity,” but keep toxic top performers around because you’re afraid to lose their numbers. ➤You say “we’re like a family,” but hand out years-of-service awards while treating people like they’re disposable behind closed doors.   The gap between what we say and what we do is where trust erodes.  And in that gap, people leave…emotionally, then physically.   One of my deepest beliefs:  Psychological Safety is the foundation of trust and trust is what makes real impact possible - in teams, organizations, and communities.   You want to amplify it? 🔸Listen more. 🔸Say “thank you” when someone challenges the norm. 🔸Back people up, especially young women in male dominated spaces.   Because trust doesn’t live in the core values on your office walls; it lives in what your team experiences every single day. https://lnkd.in/g4rA6YA8

This happens often Yet most senior leaders won’t admit it Even among senior leaders, Recognition can feel conditional Opportunities, praise, and high-profile projects Often go only to those who exceed expectations And over time, Leaders focus on approval instead of impact Teams notice They mirror the same behavior Energy shifts from innovation to checking boxes Until disengagement sets in Creativity slows Risk-taking disappears People focus on staying safe instead of driving impact Different with effective leadership, Consistent recognition and trust Replace conditional behavior Teams feel safe to take risks Innovation returns People focus on contribution, not approval Leaders who do this Build trust, loyalty, and sustainable performance Because, Impact comes from enabling people to thrive Not from conditional applause Are people on your team focused on impact or approval?

Nothing kills a great employee faster than. . . Watching you protect a bad one. 8 proofs that tolerance has a price: (and your best people are the ones paying it) 1. It drains motivation. ↳ Why give 100% when 50% gets the same reward? ↳ Mediocrity, when accepted, spreads fast. ↳ High performers don’t want to carry dead weight. 2. It erodes trust in leadership. ↳ If you won’t address obvious problems, what else are you avoiding? ↳ Silence becomes complicity. ↳ The team starts managing around you, not with you. 3. It poisons culture. ↳ Culture isn’t what you preach. It’s what you tolerate. ↳ Bad behavior unchallenged becomes the new normal. ↳ One toxic person can shift the mood of ten. 4. It creates resentment. ↳ Great employees resent double standards. ↳ Accountability shouldn’t be optional. ↳ They won’t complain. They’ll just leave. 5. It blocks growth. ↳ High performers want to learn, not babysit. ↳ When energy is spent cleaning up someone else’s mess, momentum dies. ↳ You can’t scale dysfunction. 6. It breaks team cohesion. ↳ Collaboration dies when one person doesn’t pull their weight. ↳ Respect erodes. Frustration spreads. ↳ Teams fracture from within. 7. It discourages feedback. ↳ Why speak up if nothing changes? ↳ People stop raising flags and start lowering their standards. ↳ Feedback loops die in unresolved issues. 8. It tells people excellence doesn’t matter. ↳ If you reward presence over performance, people notice. ↳ Standards slide quietly, then all at once. ↳ “Good enough” becomes the ceiling. If you’re losing great people, don’t just ask what they want. Ask what they’re watching you allow. Because ignoring one bad apple, Doesn’t just spoil the bunch. It drives the best ones right out of the orchard. ♻️ Repost if this resonates ➕ Follow Nathan Crockett, PhD for daily posts that encourage, educate, and inspire.

I don’t talk about this often, but it stuck with me: At one job, I watched a manager promote their friend—someone clearly less qualified—over team members who had put in the work, built the trust, and earned the opportunity. The team was solid. The work was meaningful. And from the outside, everything looked fine. But inside? It shifted everything. Because favoritism in leadership doesn’t just raise eyebrows. It erodes trust. When you promote the wrong people, you send a message—whether you mean to or not: →Talent isn’t what moves you forward →Loyalty gets overlooked →Effort doesn’t matter The damage isn’t always loud. It’s subtle. Quiet. But lasting. Suddenly, your high performers stop speaking up. They stop stretching. Stop trying. Leadership isn’t about filling roles. It’s about making sure the right people grow into them. And if you’re not paying attention to who’s watching your decisions… You’ll miss how fast trust can disappear. Ever seen this happen on a team? Let’s talk about it.

𝐓𝐋𝐃𝐑 👉 When leaders hold back information or are scared to admit they don't know something to “protect” staff, it creates more harm than the truth ever could. Most people can handle hard news, what they can’t handle is being kept in the dark. Leaders often worry that sharing bad news will lower morale, cause disengagement, or spark gossip. So they wait until they have “all the answers” before saying anything. Or they sugarcoat. Or they stay silent. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦: silence erodes trust. The longer you hold back, the more rumours spread, anxiety builds, and productivity drops. People always sense when something’s happening, so when you don’t communicate, they fill in the blanks themselves (and those stories are usually worse than reality). Even if you’re a middle manager in a hierarchy where information doesn’t flow downward, or you’ve never had transparent communication modelled for you, you can still do this differently. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧): ► “We don’t get enough information.” ► “We aren’t considered or consulted.” ► “Decisions feel like they come out of nowhere.” ► “We feel excluded from conversations that impact our work.” ► “It feels like leadership doesn’t trust us to handle hard news.” 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬: ► Rumours & speculation: Silence gets filled with stories. ► Distrust & cynicism: Staff assume you’re hiding things. ► Anxiety & wasted energy: People spend time decoding signals instead of focusing on work. Why does this happen? Old myths about “strong leadership,” short-term thinking to avoid discomfort, and a lack of tools for transparent communication. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 👉 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐲: 📌 In your monthly or quarterly updates, create two columns (𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸) ► What I know ► What I don’t know (yet) ✨ This structure shows transparency, builds trust and keeps people informed. If you do this I guarantee you, it will reduce anxiety, increase engagement, and strengthen trust in your leadership. ✨ Test it with your team, then drop me a comment or DM, I’d love to know what impact it had!

Do you know what I said to a leader I currently coach last week? “You intentionally trust, but you’re unconsciously not trusting.” He laughed hard when he heard it. He couldn’t think of a more precise way to describe himself in leading his team. The reality: ✅ Many leaders genuinely want to trust their teams by: • delegating responsibilities • encouraging autonomy • creating space for others to grow. ❎ Yet, in moments of pressure or doubt, their actions tell a different story: • double-checking work • stepping in too soon • holding back critical responsibilities. This isn’t a lack of integrity but an unintentional disconnect. For this leader: He consciously believed in trusting, but he had unconscious fears, such as: → failure → loss of control → unmet expectations. These fears triggered behaviors that undermined trust. When leaders aren’t aware of this gap, teams notice:⬇️ Trust starts to feel conditional, and collaboration suffers. The solution? Self-awareness. What leaders need to do: → Recognize these patterns → Challenge their fears → Align intentions with consistent actions. That’s when trust becomes authentic, unshakable, and deeply felt. Have you ever found yourself unintentionally undermining trust? How do you bridge the gap? Catherine ♻️ Share to inspire more. Connect with Catherine Li-Yunxia (Transforming leaders, Moving the world) to elevate CEO impact