Creating Trust in a Me-First Culture

I’ll never forget something a CEO taught me early in my career. He would stop by my desk regularly. No agenda. No formalities. At first, it felt routine. But over time, I began to see the pattern. Just a simple, “How’s it going?” At the time, it seemed insignificant – a polite hello. But now, I see it for what it was: a trust-building moment. His casual approach made it easier for me to open up, share my concerns, and speak honestly. It wasn’t about the words.  It was about the intention behind them. Trust doesn’t just happen. It’s built with consistency, action, and a lot of listening. As a leader today, I do my best to do the same. If your team isn’t approaching you, here’s what may help: - Be present.  ↳ When someone comes to you, put everything else aside and truly listen. - Avoid shutting them down.  ↳ The first “no” can be the last time they trust you with their ideas. - Go to them.  ↳ Don’t wait for trust to walk through your door, go and build it where they are. Here’s something not many will tell you: If your team isn’t coming to you, it’s not on them. It’s on you. So go to them. Because trust isn’t a gift – it’s a responsibility.

Trust doesn't come from your accomplishments. It comes from quiet moves like these: For years I thought I needed more experience, achievements, and wins to earn trust. But real trust isn't built through credentials. It's earned in small moments, consistent choices, and subtle behaviors that others notice - even when you think they don't. Here are 15 quiet moves that instantly build trust 👇🏼 1. You close open loops, catching details others miss ↳ Send 3-bullet wrap-ups after meetings. Reliability builds. 2. You name tension before it gets worse ↳ Name what you sense: "The energy feels different today" 3. You speak softly in tense moments ↳ Lower your tone slightly when making key points. Watch others lean in. 4. You stay calm when others panic, leading with stillness ↳ Take three slow breaths before responding. Let your calm spread. 5. You make space for quiet voices ↳ Ask "What perspective haven't we heard yet?", then wait. 6. You remember and reference what others share ↳ Keep a Key Details note for each relationship in your phone. 7. You replace "but" with "and" to keep doors open ↳ Practice "I hear you, and here's what's possible" 8. You show up early with presence and intention ↳ Close laptop, turn phone face down 2 minutes before others arrive. 9. You speak up for absent team members ↳ Start with "X made an important point about this last week" 10. You turn complaints into possibility ↳ Replace "That won't work" with "Let's experiment with..." 11. You build in space for what really matters ↳ Block 10 min buffers between meetings. Others will follow. 12. You keep small promises to build trust bit by bit ↳ Keep a "promises made" note in your phone. Track follow-through. 13. You protect everyone's time, not just your own ↳ End every meeting 5 minutes early. Set the standard. 14. You ask questions before jumping to fixes ↳ Lead with "What have you tried so far?" before suggesting solutions. 15. You share credit for wins and own responsibility for misses ↳ Use "we" for successes, "I" for challenges. Watch trust grow. Your presence speaks louder than your resume. Trust is earned in these quiet moments. Which move will you practice first? Share below 👇🏼 -- ♻️ Repost to help your network build authentic trust without the struggle 🔔 Follow me Dr. Carolyn Frost for more strategies on leading with quiet impact

Why Most Worker Engagements Fail If you were to examine one relationship in your life. Assessing that relationship on a 1-10 scale: A “1” = little to no trust in the moment A “10” = unquestionable trust in the moment Where would you currently score that relationship? Since trust precedes transparency… If that relationship isn’t at a 7 or higher, we must first repair before transparency ensues. Which is really hard. Because repair requires responsibility. That is. 100% you. 0% them. Which my ego pins me to the mat a la Andre the Giant to ensure I don’t do. Which is oddly enough, one of the primary reasons worker engagements fall flat. Because instead of assessing the current state of the relationship. We jump immediately into scripted questions that can be: 1. Superficial 2. Redundant 3. Focused on what we want to GET, instead of what the frontline needs us to hear Tired questions that lead to tired answers. Tired answers that leave us with tired information. But if we first focus on the person, the relationship in front of us. We can take the necessary steps to cultivate trust. To ensure we get to transparency. Because, as Clive Lloyd says: You can’t fix a secret. But when we lead with trust. We can understand where the “secrets” reside in our operations. So collectively, we can do something about them. Below are 3 ways we’ve found to build trust FIRST. Before we get into novel questions. Because novel questions trigger novel thinking. And we didn’t hire our frontline teams solely for their labor. We acquired them for their logic. 1. Focus on connection > credentials At the end of the day, it’s really helpful to recognize that almost no one is thinking about you. Ever. We’re all too busy thinking about ourselves. So instead of leading with titles and credentials. We’re learning, through repetition to take the focus off ourselves and place it where it belongs. On the person in front of us. To tap into what matters to them. Don’t ask… “How am I doing?” Instead ask: “What do they need now?” Which leads me to: 2. Offering a handshake or fist 👊🏽 Doing so creates immediate connection. And portrays confidence. But you must go first. This might seem rudimentary, but when we conduct partner engagements (one person engaging, one observing in order to give feedback) It’s the most common step that’s missed. The basics are the basics for a reason. Because the basics are the bedrock of effectiveness. 3. Leveraging the Trust Equation Sincerity - Competency - Reliability There are a lot of ways to bake a cake. But the essential ingredients rarely change. There are plenty of ways to build trust. But without these three, your cake (trust) ain’t gonna bake too well. See Pat Riley and / or Frances Frei for more. And a future post to come. WHEN you have trust, the 4 Ds are brilliant. Without trust, one of the “dumbest” things we attempt to do…is use the 4 Ds. Feel me?

Our team starts off every week with a Monday team meeting where the first thing we do is talk about our failures from the previous week... What I discovered a long time ago is that if you want to be a successful and authentic leader, you can't hide behind the varnish of "perfection." The most successful leaders -- those who inspire their people to greatness -- have all figured out that showing up honestly and authentically is a superpower that helps them build deep trust across their teams. All too often I encounter senior-level people who think that they can't be themselves in front of their people. That they can't ever show weakness and have to hide their failures. Here's the thing...you're not hiding it. Your people see you for who you really are, whether you realize it or not. When you try to hide your flaws or failures, they see that too. And that's where trust is lost. Here are three simple things you can start doing right now to show up more authentically and inspire greater trust with your team: 1. Be the first to admit when you fail. Whether in the big things or the small things, own your crap, and tell your people when you mess up. 2. When one of your people comes to you (probably in fear) to admit where they've failed, respond in humility and with compassion. I've also found that taking that opportunity to tell them about one of your previous failures helps to make them feel better in the moment and reminds them that everyone fails. 3. Admit when you don't know something, and encourage others to help you learn and grow by sharing their wisdom with you.

💥 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺—𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘶𝘱? 💥   A friend just told me about a project at their company. Right before launch, someone spotted a mistake that could cause big issues. But in past meetings, the 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻. So instead of speaking up, the 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁. The project went live. Customers found the error. Instead of celebrating the launch, the team had to backtrack, fix it, and rebuild trust. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦—𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗗𝗼 𝗪𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲? By improving psychological safety. It isn’t about being “nice” to each other. It’s the confidence that you can share an idea, ask a question, disagree, or admit a mistake without fear of embarrassment or backlash. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿? 📊 Google’s Project Aristotle found that psych safety was the #1 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵-𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀. 📊 Culture Amp's data shows that employees who feel valued are 74% 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 the following year. 📊 Teams where people feel like they truly belong are 31% 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝘁 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻? As the 𝗔𝗧𝗫 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 Chapter Leader, I was invited to contribute to a Culture Amp article on what it really takes to create safety at work. 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲, 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻: ✨ People in the room lead with curiosity, not ego or title ✨ Disagreement doesn’t equal disconnection ✨ Leaders don’t just talk about transparency—they model it, even when it’s uncomfortable "𝘚𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵—𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬." 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗹𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻: 📌 What psychological safety really means 📌 Why it’s more critical than ever in today’s workplace 📌 The unique challenges organizations face now 📌 Who’s responsible for creating it (hint: it’s not just leaders) 📌 Practical ways to build safety for your team 𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗼: 💬 What does it take for you to feel safe speaking up at work?  🔔 Follow for strategic culture moves & high-trust team dynamics

“I don’t think my team trusts me anymore.” That’s how one of my clients, a senior executive, started our first coaching session. He wasn’t being dramatic. He was tired. Tired of pushing harder every quarter. Tired of trying to stay positive when morale was slipping. Tired of leading a team that was still performing, but no longer connected. The company had just gone through another round of restructuring. New reporting lines. New goals. Old wounds that no one had time to talk about. He said, “Everyone shows up to meetings, but no one really talks.” And that single sentence told me everything. We didn’t start by “fixing performance.” We started by rebuilding safety. → Real conversations, not carefully worded updates. → Follow-through, not promises lost to busy calendars. → Space to disagree, without fear of punishment. Leadership doesn’t start with clarity decks or new values. It starts with courage, the courage to listen before defending. The courage to stay present even when it’s uncomfortable. Three months later, that same team had reconnected. Meetings had energy again. People spoke up. They challenged ideas, respectfully. And performance rose naturally, not because they were pushed, but because they finally trusted again. When leaders repair trust, everything else follows, productivity, innovation, retention. When they don’t, no amount of strategy will save the culture. So if you’re a leader reading this, ask yourself: → Do people feel safe bringing me the truth? → When was the last time someone told me something uncomfortable? If you can’t remember, that’s where to start. Because trust doesn’t disappear overnight but it does disappear in silence.