Building trust through the messy journey

Memoirs of a Gully Boy Episode 36: #Trust – The Foundation of Impactful Leadership Trust is the cornerstone of every successful relationship, whether it’s with your team, clients, or stakeholders. It’s the invisible currency that fosters collaboration, inspires loyalty, and drives meaningful results. Earning Trust in the Early Days In one of my first leadership roles, I was tasked with managing a team of seasoned professionals who were skeptical about my approach. I knew that earning their trust wouldn’t happen overnight. Instead of asserting authority, I spent the initial weeks observing, listening, and understanding their challenges. When I finally proposed changes, they were based on what I had learned from the team. The response was overwhelmingly positive because they felt heard and respected. Trust wasn’t built with grand gestures but through small, consistent actions that demonstrated empathy and accountability. Lesson 1: Trust is earned through listening and delivering on promises, not by demanding it. Building Client Trust in a Crisis A project for a major client once faced an unexpected technical failure just days before launch. The client was understandably frustrated, and tensions ran high. Instead of deflecting blame or downplaying the issue, I took full ownership, provided a transparent timeline for resolution, and kept them updated at every step. This approach turned a potentially damaging situation into an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. The client appreciated the honesty and accountability, and our partnership grew stronger as a result. Lesson 2: Trust thrives on transparency, especially in challenging times. Empowering Teams Through Trust Trust isn’t just about earning it for yourself—it’s about extending it to others. During a high-pressure system migration project, I delegated critical tasks to team members who were relatively new. While some questioned the decision, I trusted their capabilities and provided the necessary support. Their performance exceeded expectations, and the project was a resounding success. That experience reinforced that trust empowers individuals to rise to challenges and reach their potential. Lesson 3: Trust isn’t a risk; it’s an investment in people’s growth and confidence. Sustaining Trust Through Integrity Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. Over the years, I’ve learned that the simplest way to sustain trust is to lead with integrity. Whether it’s meeting deadlines, delivering quality, or admitting mistakes, consistency in actions speaks louder than words. In one instance, a client project faced delays due to unforeseen challenges. Rather than overpromising and underdelivering, I laid out a realistic plan and ensured that every milestone was met thereafter. That consistency solidified trust, even in difficult circumstances. Lesson 4: Trust is maintained through unwavering integrity and consistent follow-through. To be continued...

I once worked with a team that was, quite frankly, toxic. The same two team members routinely derailed meeting agendas. Eye-rolling was a primary form of communication. Side conversations overtook the official discussion. Most members had disengaged, emotionally checking out while physically present. Trust was nonexistent. This wasn't just unpleasant—it was preventing meaningful work from happening. The transformation began with a deceptively simple intervention: establishing clear community agreements. Not generic "respect each other" platitudes, but specific behavioral norms with concrete descriptions of what they looked like in practice. The team agreed to norms like "Listen to understand," "Speak your truth without blame or judgment," and "Be unattached to outcome." For each norm, we articulated exactly what it looked like in action, providing language and behaviors everyone could recognize. More importantly, we implemented structures to uphold these agreements. A "process observer" role was established, rotating among team members, with the explicit responsibility to name when norms were being upheld or broken during meetings. Initially, this felt awkward. When the process observer first said, "I notice we're interrupting each other, which doesn't align with our agreement to listen fully," the room went silent. But within weeks, team members began to self-regulate, sometimes even catching themselves mid-sentence. Trust didn't build overnight. It grew through consistent small actions that demonstrated reliability and integrity—keeping commitments, following through on tasks, acknowledging mistakes. Meeting time was protected and focused on meaningful work rather than administrative tasks that could be handled via email. The team began to practice active listening techniques, learning to paraphrase each other's ideas before responding. This simple practice dramatically shifted the quality of conversation. One team member later told me, "For the first time, I felt like people were actually trying to understand my perspective rather than waiting for their turn to speak." Six months later, the transformation was remarkable. The same team that once couldn't agree on a meeting agenda was collaboratively designing innovative approaches to their work. Conflicts still emerged, but they were about ideas rather than personalities, and they led to better solutions rather than deeper divisions. The lesson was clear: trust doesn't simply happen through team-building exercises or shared experiences. It must be intentionally cultivated through concrete practices, consistently upheld, and regularly reflected upon. Share one trust-building practice that's worked well in your team experience. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n

If your leadership track record is spotless, you’ve either played it too safe — or the real stories never made it to you. After decades of leading people, businesses, and transformations across industries, one truth has remained constant: Failure is not an interruption in the journey. It is the journey. We rarely talk about the mis-hires, the strategies that didn’t land, the partnerships that fell through after months of effort. We celebrate outcomes, not the rigor — or humility — required to reach them. But here’s what experience has taught me: - Every failure leaves behind data. Not just metrics — but patterns. - About how we make decisions. - About what we value in pressure. - About how honest our teams feel they can be. I’ve come to measure leadership not by how well someone performs during peaks — but how they process setbacks. How quickly they recover, yes. But more importantly: how deeply they reflect. In the boardroom, I look for leaders who can say: “Here’s where I went wrong — and here’s what I learned.” Because that transparency builds trust. And trust is the only real currency in leadership. Success may open the door. But it’s failure — owned, examined, and shared — that earns you the room.

Striving to look flawless as a founder? It turns out that perfection might be distancing you from your team. Let’s dive into why being messy could be your superpower: There's a paradox I've discovered in leadership... The more perfect you seem, the more disconnected you become. Especially as a founder, you're under immense pressure to be flawless. We all feel that pressure to have every answer, to project unwavering confidence. Then AI arrived, promising to polish our every word into the perfect email or flawless update. But this quest for perfection has built invisible walls. We risk sacrificing genuine human connection in our effort to look flawless. This is the kind built on raw, honest, sometimes messy interactions. It's where you can truly drop your armor. Real trust isn't forged in curated perfection, but in unscripted, vulnerable moments. These "I don't know, but let's figure it out together" conversations are features, not bugs, of human relationship. AI now polishes communication to an unprecedented degree. While we might look more "perfect," we also become more distant from one another. For leaders, this drive for flawlessness is particularly critical - as it sets an impossible standard for the team. As a result, people avoids risks, innovation stalls, psychological safety erodes. Those conscious shifts in thinking - which are vital for growth - get stifled. AI can make messages seem efficient, even "positive." But often, there's an authenticity gap. This can leave teams guessing at true intentions or sentiments. Our unique leadership voices risk becoming homogenized. The questions becomes - are we trading real connection for a veneer of perfection? Remember, your greatest leverage as a founder is *you*. It's your mindset, your clarity, your authentic leadership. Vulnerability isn't weakness; it’s the bedrock of real connection and growth. When leaders prioritize *looking* perfect over *being* real, they stop evolving. The company often reflects that stagnation. The patterns in your organization can mirror your own internal state. So, what's the path forward from this? Dare to be imperfect and share your truth, even if it’s not chatbot-perfect. Let your team see your authentic humanity. This isn’t about rejecting tools outright. It's about consciously ensuring they don’t strip away our core authenticity. True connection builds resilient companies. It thrives on honesty and the courage to be a little messy. It’s about unabashedly bringing your whole self to your company. Becoming a better leader often means becoming more *yourself*. This is because your unique strengths and deepest connections lie in your authenticity. It’s where genuine influence is cultivated. It’s how you inspire true loyalty and engagement. That’s where real transformation happens. - Proud to coach with Inside-Out Leadership: executive coaching by trained coaches who have founded, funded, scaled, & sold their own companies.

I walked into a room full of frustration. The project was off track, the budget was bleeding, and trust had worn thin. As the new project manager, I had 30 days to rebuild what was broken not just the plan, but the relationships. 💡 Here’s the exact trust-building strategy I used to shift the momentum - one conversation, one quick win, and one honest update at a time. ▶ Day 1–5: I started with ears, not answers. 🎧 Active Listening & Empathy Sessions I sat down with stakeholders - one by one, department by department. No slides. No status updates. Just questions, empathy, and silence when needed. 💬 I didn’t try to fix anything. I just listened - and documented everything they shared. Why it worked: They finally felt heard. That alone opened more doors than any roadmap ever could. ▶ Day 6–10: I called out the elephant in the room. 🔍 Honest Assessment & Transparent Communication I reviewed everything - timelines, budgets, blockers, and team dynamics. By day 10, I sent out a clear, no-spin summary of the real issues we were facing. Why it worked: I didn’t sugarcoat it - but I didn’t dwell in blame either. Clarity brought calm. Transparency brought trust. ▶ Day 11–15: I delivered results - fast. ⚡ Quick Wins & Early Action We fixed a minor automation glitch that had frustrated a key stakeholder for months. It wasn’t massive, but it mattered. Why it worked: One small win → renewed hope → stakeholders leaning in again. ▶ Day 16–20: I gave them a rhythm. 📢 Clear Communication Channels & Cadence We set up weekly pulse updates, real-time dashboards, and clear points of contact. No more guessing who’s doing what, or when. Why it worked: Consistency replaced confusion. The team knew what to expect and when. ▶ Day 21–25: I invited them to the table. 🤝 Collaborative Problem-Solving Instead of pushing fixes, I hosted solution workshops. We mapped risks, brainstormed priorities, and made decisions together. Why it worked: Involvement turned critics into co-owners. People support what they help build. ▶ Day 26–30: I grounded us in reality. 📅 Realistic Expectations & Clear Next Steps No overpromising. I laid out a realistic path forward  timelines, budgets, trade-offs, and all. I closed the month by outlining what we’d tackle next together. Why it worked: Honesty created stability. A shared plan gave them control. 💬 In 30 days, we hadn’t fixed everything but we had built something more valuable: trust. And from trust, everything else became possible. Follow Shraddha Sahu for more insights

How I Build Trust Without Fancy Dashboards as a Program Manager at Amazon Trust isn’t built by data alone. It’s built by how you show up when things go sideways. Early in my PM career, I thought trust came from hitting deadlines and sharing crisp metrics. Now? I know the real trust builders are quieter…and harder to fake. They show up in the messy middle, not the final deck. Here’s how I build trust without fancy dashboards or status theater: 1/ I respond before I’m asked ↳ I don’t wait for “any updates?” ↳ I update proactively…especially when things slip ↳ Unprompted visibility earns trust fast 2/ I say “I don’t know” quickly…but follow up faster ↳ Honesty > pretending ↳ I don’t hide behind fluff…I find the answer and circle back ↳ Fast clarity beats slow polish 3/ I ask the hard questions early ↳ “What could derail this?” ↳ “What are we assuming?” ↳ Trust isn’t about avoiding problems…it’s about revealing them early 4/ I show my work ↳ I don’t just say “we’re on track”…I explain how ↳ I share the why behind tradeoffs ↳ Transparency beats polish every time 5/ I protect the team publicly, push privately ↳ I own the risk when things go wrong ↳ But I don’t let it slide behind the scenes ↳ People trust who they feel safe with Dashboards are helpful. But if you’re only building trust through metrics… You’re missing the deeper game. 📬 I share high-trust, execution-first tactics weekly in The Weekly Sync: 👉 https://lnkd.in/e6qAwEFc What’s one quiet way you build trust with your team?

Process won’t save a team that’s afraid to speak up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a process girl through and through. It’s my bread and butter. It brings rhythm, clarity, and focus. But I’ve seen teams build beautiful workflows that still fall apart. Automations. Templates. Status rituals. All clean on paper. Under the surface? People were second-guessing. Avoiding conflict. Afraid to raise risks. Because culture eats process for breakfast. No tooling can fix a team that doesn’t feel safe. No standup can replace trust. No framework can overcome fear of being blamed. If your retros are quiet, your risks are hidden. If your 1:1s are surface-level, your blockers are buried. If your team looks “on track” but nobody’s pushing back, you’ve got a silent failure in progress. So what can you do as a PM? ✅ You fix the fear. ✅ You lead the trust. Here’s how: ▶ In 1:1s, ask real questions: “What’s something you’ve been holding back?” “What do you wish we’d talk about more as a team?” ▶ In retros, model vulnerability: “I hesitated to speak up about X last sprint. I want us all to feel safe raising things earlier, even if they’re messy or unpopular.” ▶ In meetings, reward truth, not timeline: If someone raises a delay, thank them publicly. Normalize speaking up. ▶ When there’s tension, don’t smooth it over. Get curious. Silence isn’t alignment, it’s fear with a filter. Fix the fear, not just the Jira. Visibility = creating clarity where others stay silent. Leadership = creating space for others to speak freely. 👉 If you're still managing tasks and tools, but not trust, you’re not leading yet. Tag a PM who gets this. ♻️ Repost to help others lead teams with trust 🔔 Follow Elizabeth Dworkin for more like this

The day I finally understood how trust really works, everything changed for me as a CSM. In my first Customer Success role, our leader had us read a book before our team offsite: The Trusted Advisor. Short. Simple. Game-changing. Inside was something that flipped a switch for me, the Trust Equation: Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy / Self-Orientation For the first time, trust wasn’t a feeling, it was something I could build intentionally. So I made a move, and this changed how I worked with customers: I wrote each element of the equation into their account. And every engagement became a chance, an opportunity to build on trust with purpose. Here’s what that looked like in real life ✅ Credibility Know your stuff. Speak with clarity. Bring insights, not just product updates. → When a customer asks how to achieve a specific outcome in your product and you clearly walk them through 2-3 workflows that get them there. → When they ask, “What are other customers like us doing?” and you give just the right amount of relevant context and detail. ✅ Reliability Do what you say you’ll do. No surprises. No dropped balls. → You follow through after every meeting. → You send the recap. → You make the intro. → You deliver on that one thing they asked for, even if it seemed minor. ✅ Intimacy Be human. Build connection. Care about what matters to them. → You remember their kid’s name. → You know they’re prepping for a board meeting next week and ask how it’s going. → You lead with empathy, not agendas. 🚫 Self-Orientation Don’t make it about you. Ever. → You don’t flex your product knowledge to sound smart, you share what helps them win. → You don’t push your goals, you stay focused on theirs. Every CSM wants trusted relationships. Not every CSM builds them on purpose. This equation gave me a new level of intention. What’s one small way you can build more trust? ________________________ 📩 If you liked this post, you'll love The Journey. Head over to my profile and join the thousands of CS professionals who are along for the ride as I share stories and learnings going from CSM to CCO.

Trust isn’t a value you write on a wall—it’s a practice. A discipline. Something we all crave to thrive. Daniel Goleman’s latest piece for Korn Ferry nails it: trust is fluid, emotional, and contextual. It’s built (or broken) through our everyday behaviors—especially when things are moving fast or feel uncertain. https://lnkd.in/grYJY5fM As a CEO, I’ve learned that “trust” can’t be demanded. It’s not a checkbox. It’s given—and it starts with presence, consistency, and the willingness to slow down. A few practices that have helped me build (and rebuild) trust over two decades of leading people: ✅ We use Moementum, Inc.s “Monthly Meetup” doc to open space for real conversations—about energy, meaning, and life, not just KPIs. ✅ We start our weekly 1:1s with “personal best / business best.” It’s a small shift that opens big doors. ✅ I learned from Bruce Tulgan early on that weekly 1:1s aren’t optional. They’re where alignment lives—or where it dies. I’m relentless about keeping them. I expect my team to show up prepared: top priorities, roadblocks, and where they need support. And here's the truth: I’ve been in team environments where trust was talked about, but not felt. Where it was risky to be real. And the result? Slower decisions, quieter meetings, and lots of second-guessing. In a world of hybrid schedules, shifting strategies, and AI transformation, what your team really wants is safety. Not perfection. Not certainty. But the belief that they are seen, heard, and supported. #Leadership #Trust #EmotionalIntelligence #1on1s #CultureBuilding #FutureOfWork #CaringBridge #KornFerry #BruceTulgan #MoeCarrick #WorkplaceCulture #monthlymeetups