Building Trust by Addressing Dismissive Behavior

So much of what we encourage assistants to do is about finding their voice. To speak up. To challenge. To bring their insight and perspective into the room. But what happens when they do, and that voice is dismissed? When feedback is brushed aside. When questions are met with defensiveness. When the courage to speak is answered with silence, sarcasm, or exclusion. The impact is far greater than most leaders realise. Because for assistants, trust is not just professional. It is the foundation of the role. Their work depends on partnership, on knowing their contribution is valued and their judgement respected. When that is dismissed, it does not just dent confidence; it undermines collaboration. Slowly, the assistant begins to edit themselves. They stop offering ideas. They stop anticipating needs with the same energy. They do the job, but not with the same heart. And the executive loses one of their most powerful assets: a trusted partner who tells them the truth. When trust breaks, everything changes. Because being dismissed after finding your voice teaches you that courage has a cost, and that silence feels safer than speaking. When your assistant speaks up, they are not being difficult. They are being brave. They see the cracks before they become crises. They hear the conversations that never make it to your desk. And when they risk telling you something uncomfortable, it is not to challenge your authority, it is to protect your blind spots. How you respond in that moment matters more than you might realise. Dismiss them, and you do not just silence a voice, you weaken the partnership that keeps everything running. Meet them with curiosity, not defensiveness. Ask questions. Listen. Even if you disagree, thank them for the courage it took to speak. Because an assistant who feels safe to tell you the truth is one of your greatest strategic advantages. And once that safety is gone, it is hard to rebuild. Trust is not built in the easy conversations. It is built in the hard ones, when both sides choose respect over ego, and listening over pride. The strongest partnerships are not built on compliance. They are built on truth, trust, and the courage to listen, even when it is uncomfortable. 🔁 Repost to share 👉 Follow Lucy Brazier OBE for daily insights and inspiration on the administrative profession.

Workplace-related trauma is real. And it usually originates with bad leadership. I’ve inherited a lot of employees over my career of leading teams, and I always stumble upon past work-related trauma when working to evolve my team's culture. Trauma stems from working with previous leaders who lack emotional control, show favoritism to others, or focus on just keeping employees happy rather than fostering their engagement. When I inherit a team or individual employees, I can immediately recognize the signs: 😕 Unhealthy Distrust of Leadership A history of broken promises, inconsistent behavior, or poor communication from previous leaders can erode trust. 😶 Unwillingness to Communicate Employees who have experienced negative interactions with leadership may become withdrawn and hesitant to share ideas or feedback. They might fear retaliation or believe that their input is not valued. 😬 Lack of confidence with innovation and decision-making. Past experiences of being micromanaged or having their ideas dismissed can lead to a lack of confidence in employees. They may become overly cautious and hesitant to take risks or make decisions. So how do you begin the healing process if you have someone on your team with workplace trauma? Three ways to rebuild your employee’s trust in leadership and confidence in their own work are: Transparent Communication 🗣 Be open and honest with your team. Share information regularly and be clear about your expectations, goals, and decisions. Transparency builds trust by showing that you have nothing to hide and are committed to keeping everyone informed. This includes admitting when you don’t have all the answers and being open to feedback and suggestions from your team. Be consistent in your own behavior 🔁 Consistency in your actions and decisions is key to building credibility. Employees need to know that they can rely on you to act fairly and predictably. This means upholding the same standards for everyone, being dependable, and following through on your promises. Consistency is essential to establishing trust again. Listen and Ask Questions 👂 Active listening is a powerful tool for building trust and understanding your team’s needs and concerns. Have genuine interest in what your employees have to say and validate their feelings and experiences. Ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue and demonstrate that you value their input. Listening also involves acting on the feedback you receive, which shows that you are committed to making improvements based on their insights. Rebuilding trust and confidence takes time and consistent effort, but the results are well worth it. By prioritizing these in your leadership approach, you can transform a workplace culture from a frozen tundra to thriving rainforest. #leadership #leadershipmatters #culture #multifamily

Leaders who say "let's move on" after setbacks lose teams. Moving on isn't the same as moving forward. Here's what works: I once coached a leader whose team was dealing with hostile client behavior. After a particularly tough incident, the executive made a well-intentioned decision to give the team the rest of the day off and told them to "forget about the incident". When I asked about their follow-up plan, they had none. If you've ever been through a difficult moment at work, you know you can’t just "forget it and move on.” When teams don’t process setbacks, they don’t just struggle; they disengage, underperform, or even leave. The challenge? Everyone processes differently.  ↳ A few felt so demoralized they were ready to quit.  ↳ Two team members felt completely defeated. ↳ Some needed a break from the client. ↳ Others wanted to debrief as a team. Yet none of these emotions would have been evident if the leader had not asked. So, how can you support your team after a setback? These 7 practices have helped leaders turn setbacks into trust-building moments:  1. Be present 2. Listen deeply 3. Create space for vulnerability 4. Initiate 1:1 conversations 5. Honor boundaries 6. Embrace supportive presence 7. Balance support & space Showing authentic care means moving beyond performative gestures and "let's just forget about it" platitudes. When the leader I coached implemented these 7 practices, their team didn’t just recover, they: ↳ Developed a shared language for tough situations. ↳ Transformed a breaking point into a turning point. ↳ Felt seen and supported rather than "managed".  ↳ Emerged stronger and more cohesive.  ↳ Built deeper trust. Rather than avoiding challenges, leadership shines through when we navigate them together. Investing in these practices may feel demanding at first, but it reduces the emotional drain and prevents bigger crises long-term How do you help your team move forward, not just move on? ♻️ Repost to help other leaders support their teams as they navigate setbacks. + Follow Michelle Awuku-Tatum for more insights on human-centered leadership, team dynamics and workplace culture.  

A few years ago, I was meeting with the CEO of a mid-sized company. He’d asked me to come in and talk about some leadership challenges his team was facing. I walked in prepared—data, strategies, success stories. Within ten minutes, I could feel it. He was rejecting these ideas. His body leaned back. His eyes scanned the table instead of me. His answers shrank to disengaged one-word replies. If you’ve ever been in sales, leadership, or even in marriage trying to “sell your idea, opinion, or solution… you know that moment when you hit the wall. It’s the moment you realize you’ve lost them and that old familiar feeling of tightness in your chest comes back, the feeling experienced from past rejections—excluded when choosing sides for a game of baseball, the times when your ideas were shut down, times when applying for a job and the offer never came. Often our first instinct? Push harder. Explain more. Convince, and often in the past I have reacted that way. But As leaders we can often misread rejection and the feelings that come with it. It’s not the other person’s verdict on you—it’s their brain’s way of protecting something you can’t see yet. Here’s what I now understand: Our brain doesn’t log rejection as “no thank you.” It logs it as danger. The subconscious mind pulls up old files—every past moment of exclusion or dismissal—and it plays them in the background. I was not just hearing this CEO’s “no.” that day, I was hearing the echoes of every “no” my nervous system has ever stored. And here’s the part leaders often miss: When you try to fix, sell, or convince someone whether in business or home, before trust is built, you trigger their archive. Their brain senses a threat to autonomy and safety, not an offer of help. The push back you get isn’t resistance to your idea—it’s protection of their identity. Both of us were going through this process—him, rejecting me, protecting his own worldview, his own assumptions— and me, bringing in my own different way of thinking—feeling the no, triggering my own insecurities. Both of us were protecting our identities at the same moment. That day with the CEO I closed my notebook. I stopped explaining and started asking questions to better understand him and questions that helped him to feel understood, seen, and valued. The shift was instant. His posture changed. He leaned forward. We were back in conversation, not combat. Rejection is not a verdict. It’s a signal. A flashing light that says: “There’s a story here you don’t know yet.” For leaders, whether in business, teams, or families, the job isn’t to dodge rejection or bulldoze past it. It’s to create enough safety that the other person’s brain no longer needs to defend. Because once the walls come down, the real conversation can finally begin. P.S. He remained a client, and we deepened our work together. Understanding our habits of thinking is the first step to freedom. Let’s chat!  

Ever been in a meeting where someone constantly interrupts others? Or worked with a colleague who dodges accountability, leaving the team to clean up the mess? Let’s be honest—bad behavior happens everywhere, even in the best teams. But here’s the thing: ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. This is where a Realignment Talks comes in. But first, let’s call it what it is. Interrupting someone? It’s disrespectful. Passing the buck? That’s a trust-breaker. Letting toxic behavior slide? That’s leadership failure. A realignment conversation isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about acknowledging what’s gone wrong, including your role in letting it happen, and paving the way forward. Here’s a framework I’ve used: 1️⃣ Call out the behavior: Be specific and address the issue head-on. “I’ve noticed that interruptions during meetings are becoming a pattern.” 2️⃣ Acknowledge your role: “I should’ve addressed this earlier, and I take responsibility for not stepping in.” 3️⃣ Set clear expectations: “Moving forward, let’s ensure everyone gets their turn to speak.” 4️⃣ Invite collaboration: “How can we all ensure this behavior doesn’t continue?” Confronting bad behavior is uncomfortable. But ignoring it is worse. Addressing it directly shows your team that accountability and respect matter. What’s one piece of bad behavior you’ve successfully addressed? Let’s discuss below. #Leadership #TeamDynamics #Accountability #WorkplaceCulture #ConflictResolution #ResetConversations #GrowthMindset

"It’s not what you say, but HOW you say it.” That was one of my grandmother’s favorite sayings, and let me tell you—she was right. 💬 Ever had a conversation where the words were fine, but the tone felt dismissive? 💬 Or maybe you gave feedback with good intentions, but it didn’t land well? Delivery matters. It can build trust—or break it. The best leaders know how to communicate in a way that’s clear, intentional, and emotionally intelligent. Here’s a 3-Step Framework to Make Sure Your Message Lands: 🎙️ For the Speaker (Giving the Message): ✅ Check Your Tone – Clarity without care = criticism. Make sure your words invite understanding, not resistance. ✅ Be Intentional – Are you correcting, connecting, or just proving a point? The “why” behind your words shapes the outcome. ✅ Invite Engagement – Instead of assuming your message landed well, pause and ask: “How does that sound to you?” 👂 For the Listener (Receiving the Message): ✅ Assume Positive Intent – Not every tough conversation is an attack. Listen before reacting. ✅ Clarify, Don’t Assume – If something feels off, instead of shutting down, ask: “Can you clarify what you mean?” ✅ Set Boundaries – If the tone is dismissive, it’s okay to say: “I hear you, but I need respect in this conversation.” Here’s the bottom line: Leaders who master intentional communication AND boundary-setting create environments where people feel valued, heard, and motivated. 🚀 What’s one communication tip that’s helped you become a better leader? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts. #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #CommunicationMatters #SetBoundaries #LeadershipDevelopment #SidneyEvansGlobal🕺🏽 #SydSpeaks🗣️

I lost 2 employees within a short period of time. They felt unsafe speaking up, as I found out later. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺 People don't quit for money. They quit because they fear speaking up. When employees can't share ideas safely: ❌ They hide mistakes ❌ They avoid asking questions   ❌ They agree with bad decisions 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 This creates three deadly patterns: 🚫 Stagnation kills innovation 🚫 Fear destroys collaboration   🚫 Silence drives turnover Google found psychological safety is the #1 factor in high-performing teams. When people feel safe, they share freely. When fear dominates, creativity dies. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝟰 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝟭. 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 – 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 - Ask for opinions and act on them - Encourage debate, don't shut it down Pixar invites everyone to critique films early. Even interns can challenge directors. That's how they create blockbusters. 𝟮. 𝗥𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀 - Treat mistakes as growth opportunities - Celebrate effort alongside outcomes Etsy runs "blameless postmortems" after failures. They focus on learning, not blame. This builds continuous improvement culture. 𝟯. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 - Admit when you don't know something - Show that everyone is still learning One CEO told his team: "I don't have all the answers. But we'll find them together." That moment changed a whole lot of things. His team actually stepped up. 𝟰. 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝘁 - Zero tolerance for dismissiveness   - Make space for quiet voices Some companies use round-robin discussions. Everyone speaks before decisions are made. No voice gets lost. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲 Great workplaces run on trust, not fear. Start listening today. Build trust consistently. Watch your team thrive. ♻️ Repost this to help executives and entrepreneurs who want to keep their best people 🎯 Follow Cory Dunham⭐️~ Executive Leadership Coach for purpose-driven leadership insights ⚡ Most C-suite executives can't have one difficult conversation without damaging trust - Get "𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲'𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁" - Navigate tough conversations and build trust across teams so your message lands with impact. Free 5-day email course → AlignedExecutive.com #PsychologicalSafety #LeadWithListening #SpeakUpCulture #RetentionThroughRespect #PurposeDrivenLeadership

Ever faced a dismissive boss and thought, 'Is it because I'm a woman?’ 😯 Dealing with a dismissive boss can be a huge source of frustration. This dismissive behavior is often due to ingrained biases or lack of awareness. The bottom line is this . . . It's crucial to address this issue as soon as possible because feeling unheard or undervalued deflates your spirit and impacts your confidence and growth. Here are some empowering strategies to navigate this situation: 1️⃣ Speak Up Confidently: Find the right time and the courage to express your thoughts calmly Share your perspective and contributions without hesitation. 2️⃣ Highlight Your Wins: Showcase your achievements and the positive impact you've made. Sometimes, a tangible reminder of your value is the key to recognition. 3️⃣ Seek Feedback: Approach your boss for constructive feedback. It not only shows your commitment to improvement but also opens a dialogue that can lead to better understanding. 4️⃣ Build Alliances: Develop relationships with colleagues who appreciate your work. Their support can reinforce your value within the organization. 5️⃣ Document Your Success: Keep a record of your accomplishments. Having a documented trail of your contributions can serve as a powerful tool when making your case. Also, be the leader you would like to have. Lead by example, and don’t let your boss’s behavior drag you down. Maintain a positive attitude, and continue to carry yourself with integrity, professionalism, dignity, and self-respect. You deserve to be heard, valued and appreciated. Let your brilliance shine and rise higher! ✨ ❓ In what ways have you successfully navigated dismissive attitudes in the past? ❗ Share your experience in the comments. Have an amazing day! With much love, ~Tomika 😊💕 ⬇️⬇️⬇️ I empower women in male-dominated industries to build unwavering confidence and advance their careers and businesses with authenticity. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Let's explore this journey together . . . ➡️ Connect with me ➡️ Hit that ‘🔔’ on my profile to keep seeing my content ➡️ Follow my hashtag: #tomikatalks ➡️ I post in the morning every Monday - Friday ➡️ Topics: Confidence | Entrepreneurship | Leadership | Business | Relationships >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #tomikatalks #womenentrepreneurs #womenleaders #womeninbusiness #AuthenticLeadership #EmpoweringWomen #TimelessThursday