Addressing Team Conflicts

I used to think the only way to stop toxic leadership was from the top. Then our research showed something different. When teams speak up together about ethical concerns, something shifts—leaders start to reflect on their behaviour. Over time, that reflection can reduce abuse. But not all team voice works. It’s only effective when the team interacts frequently with the leader and hold real or perceived power. That’s when leaders engage in what we call reflective moral attentiveness: they begin to consider the moral implications of their actions and pause long enough to rethink them. So, if you’ve ever worked under an abusive leader, I want you to know this: Speaking up alone can be hard. But when teams raise concerns together, it can make a real difference. And if you are in a leadership position, ask yourself: 👉🏾 Are people speaking up about what truly matters? 👉🏾 More importantly, are you pausing long enough to hear what their voice reveals about you? Because ethical voice doesn’t just challenge authority. It awakens conscience. #leadership #groupvoice #ethicsatwork #FutureProofYourLeadership

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗻𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗹 I was brought in to coach an executive team that was “stuck in storming.” That’s what the CEO said. “You know… forming, storming, norming, performing.” But when I met the team, it wasn’t conflict. It was instability. Decisions made, then reversed. Roles unclear. Strategy shifting every other week. This wasn’t “storming.” It was organizational whiplash. We take frameworks that were meant to be descriptive—like Tuckman or Lencioni—and treat them as diagnoses. Then we build solutions to match the model instead of the moment. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰. So I asked the CEO, "𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄?" Not the goal Not the team stage The friction. Friction tells the truth that labels tend to flatten. Friction is the resistance the team’s already working around. The tension they’re not sure they’re allowed to name. The symptom that points to the real root. Once I understand the friction, I trace it—𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁. 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗱𝘆𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁𝘆. 🔍 Conflict? Might be vague decision rights. 🔍 “Lack of trust”? Could be fear of blame. 🔍 Low engagement? Maybe they’re just tired of reacting to a different strategy every week. This is what have learned. 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀—𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝘄𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗰𝘀—they build clarity, safety, and alignment in whatever order the work demands. So if you’re a coach, consultant, or team leader: ❌ Stop asking: “What stage are we in?” ✅ Start asking: “What is this team trying to survive?” "Where is the Friction" #ExecutiveCoaching #TeamCoaching #OrganizationalHealth #PsychologicalSafety #LeadershipDevelopment #CEOCoaching #CHRO #HR

A knee-jerk reaction to team resistance might be: “Fire them all and start again.” But here’s the truth you probably don’t want to hear: Your team isn’t resisting change, they’re resisting you. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but let’s be honest, change rarely fails because the idea is bad. It fails because trust is broken and because you skipped the “why,” and fear filled the silence you left behind. When your team pushes back, here’s what they’re really saying: “I don’t trust where this is going.” “No one asked me.” “I’m scared, and I don’t feel safe saying that out loud.” “You’ve changed things before and left us to clean up the mess.” Change is emotional, human, and messy. So if you want real buy-in? Don’t start with a strategy deck, start with your people. Here’s how: 1️⃣ Ask Invite input early. Before rolling out a change, ask your team what they think. What are their worries? What would make this easier for them? Use open-ended questions like: “What do you see as the biggest challenge here?” “How do you think this change could help us?” 2️⃣ Listen Really listen. Don’t just nod along, take notes, ask clarifying questions, and reflect back what you’re hearing. Acknowledge the emotion: “It sounds like you’re worried about how this will impact your workload. That’s a valid concern.” 3️⃣ Validate Show you value their perspective. Even if you can’t act on every suggestion, let them know their voice matters. Be transparent about any constraints. Make the change with them, not to them. Co-create solutions. Let the team own parts of the process. When things get tough, solve problems together, not in isolation. And when things get bumpy? Because they will: ✅ Celebrate the tiny wins, because they matter more than you think. ✅ Talk about the challenges and fix them together. When leaders try to solve the bumpiness alone, they leave their team feeling lost at sea. And let’s be honest, that’s a tough place to be left alone. So bring your team into the journey, or at least keep them in the discussion. My rule is simple: If it impacts them, communicate, don’t hide. Want to drive change that actually sticks? Start with trust, not tactics.

🌊 Riding the Emotional Waves at Work 🌊 How to Hold Space Without Losing Control Ever felt a team member break down mid-conversation, leaving you unsure whether to comfort, solve, or simply sit still? Emotions at work are real, raw, and often unexpected. The question isn’t 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒚? 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅? ✨Welcome to the art of 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭—𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉, 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕. 📖 Emotional containment isn’t about fixing problems or suppressing emotions. It’s about holding space for someone to process their feelings without making it about you, them, or the 'solution' Here’s a quick DOs and DON’Ts guide for mastering this: DO: ✅Acknowledge Emotions: 𝐼 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢; 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. ✅Stay Calm and Centered: 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛. ✅Invite Reflection: 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡? DON’T: ❌Over-Sympathize: 𝑂ℎ 𝑛𝑜, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑓𝑢𝑙! 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢! ❌Minimize: 𝐼𝑡’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑑—𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓. ❌Rush to Fix: 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑜 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. Why it Matters: For your team: It fosters trust, safety, and connection. For you: It builds emotional intelligence and enhances your leadership presence 🚀 Feeling unsure about how to apply this in real life? Struggling to balance empathy and authority in tough conversations? Let me guide you. As a coach with years of experience helping leaders navigate emotional dynamics, I’ll help you turn these moments into opportunities for trust and transformation. 💌 Learn this Art & unlock your full potential as a leader who leads with empathy, resilience, and strength. 📌 Let’s make your next emotional conversation one that inspires—not overwhelms. #coaching #leadershipcoaching #emotionalcontainment #conversationtips

Quiet voices can often have the loudest ideas. In every team, I’ve found that some voices naturally dominate discussions - not because they’re better, but because they’re quicker or more confident. These contributions are valuable, but as leaders, we risk missing out on equally powerful insights from quieter team members who approach problems with reflection and depth. Often, their perspectives can uncover blind spots or offer fresh perspectives that louder discussions might overshadow. Leadership is about balance - ensuring that every voice is given its rightful space, not by excluding those who speak up but by intentionally drawing in those who may hold back. It requires creating environments where quieter contributors feel safe to share, whether through thoughtful pauses in meetings or alternative formats like going around the room and asking for individual opinions in a genuine and non-judgmental way, with questions like “ Do you see anything we might have overlooked?” Or “What would you do differently?”. You could also ask for written feedback after the meeting or solicit thoughts in one-on-one conversations. By fostering this inclusivity, we enrich the conversation and enable more robust decisions and outcomes.

After 20+ years as a C-level, here's the truth: Your team is only as strong as the worst behavior you allow. As leaders, we often avoid these conversations. But every time we let bad behavior slide, we tell our best people that results matter more than respect. I've made this mistake. Many times. 5 behaviors that kill team performance (and what to say): 1/ The Meeting Bulldozer ↳ Interrupts constantly ↳ Dominates every discussion ↳ Talks over quieter voices What to say: "I notice you have a lot of energy here. Let's create space for others to share their perspectives." 2/ The Passive-Aggressive Communicator ↳ Uses subtle digs in meetings ↳ Sends undermining emails ↳ Makes sarcastic comments What to say: "I sense you have concerns. Let's discuss them directly. What issues do you need us to address?" 3/ The Deadline Dodger ↳ Misses deadlines without warning ↳ Offers last-minute excuses ↳ Creates cascade failures What to say: "Missing deadlines impacts everyone. Flag risks early. What support do you need to meet commitments?" 4/ The Credit Taker ↳ Claims others' work as their own ↳ Minimizes team contributions ↳ Spotlights personal achievements What to say: "This was a team effort. Walk me through everyone's contributions so we can recognize them properly." 5/ The Decision Underminer ↳ Agrees in meetings, disagrees after ↳ Creates side conversations ↳ Erodes team alignment What to say: "We need unity. If you disagree, bring it up in meetings. What concerns haven't we addressed?" What you permit, you promote. Your team is watching how you handle these moments. These conversations are how great cultures are built, one interaction at a time. (Swipe ➡️ for the visual carousel version) What behavior(s) have I missed? ----- ♻️ Repost to help other leaders build stronger teams. ➕ Follow me (Chris Laping) for more leadership insights.

Work whiplash — where your momentum was going at a great pace and in a clear direction and then you either slammed in to a wall or got quickly jerked in a new direction — is one of the worst feelings as an employee, in my opinion. We talk about this a lot in Glue Club. Work whiplash is demotivating and demoralizing. And it happens all the time in companies that are going through rapid change. Often, the context around the person is changing so fast that it takes a lot of proactive management to help folks stay connected and ensure that everyone is swimming in the same direction. If you're a leader in an organization that is going through a lot of change or scaling quickly, chances are that every single member of your team is likely performing at 80% or less of their true capacity. In the case of rapid change or rapid scale, it is probably more like 50%. Because there is so much change, people are often a little, or a lot, lost. That lost-ness usually leads to wasted energy and time. As a manager or leader, helping people not be lost — not waste time and energy -- is one of the most important things to spend time on. It ultimately means revisiting, regularly, the basics of management. If you are in a rapidly scaling and/or rapidly changing company, revisit the management basics often: - Do people know what their roles are? - Do they know what is expected of them in that role?  - Do they know who they need to work with to get stuff done? - Does each major initiative have one single person responsible for getting it across the finish line? - Do they know how to get a decision made? - If something changed, do the people who are affected know about that change? - Have you given feedback to each of your high performers about the one thing that is holding them back?

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗿𝘂𝗽𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲? --- 🚀 They know how to talk to clients. 😩 But they talk down to colleagues. --- 🚀 They’re able to close big deals. 😩 But they make everything about them. --- 🚀 They take risks for the betterment of the business. 😩 But, take no accountability when things go array. --- 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝘆, “𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.” I agree. However, when the success of the business is based on revenue and this person is THE primary driver, they will most often not be held accountable for their actions. The opposite often happens, and they are encouraged to be themselves and do what they must to continue closing deals. To enable this type of behavior is short-sighted. --- 𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝘂𝗻, 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆… ⚠️ Team morale will plummet. ⚠️ Drama will increase. ⚠️ Productivity will decrease. ⚠️ And the overall health of the organization will be in jeopardy. It’s easy to point the finger at the person causing the disruption. But it’s the leaders who enable this behavior that is to blame. --- 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹, 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿. He was the state's leading scorer, and all the other kids looked up to him. When he “screwed up,” I let him know it and held him accountable. If I enabled him, his teammates would have witnessed this, and the team would have fallen apart. --- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. You MUST: 🔥 Be willing to have difficult conversations. 🔥 Hold one another accountable. 🔥 Learn to do so with empathy and compassion. 🔥 Train team members on how to give and receive feedback from one another. If you STOP ENABLING commit to these things, the “disruptive behavior” will be minimized. If their behavior doesn’t change for the better, then you know it’s time to make a change. Follow Adam Piandes #leadershipdevelopment #culturebuilding #teambuiling #communicationskills #growth

It’s better to have a hole than an a**hole in your team! Imagine being part of a team with a great vibe, where everyone collaborates well and supports each other. But there’s that one team member who constantly disrupts the harmony. They’re negative, dismissive, and often rude. To make matters worse, this person is considered an A-player by the higher-ups, consistently hitting KPIs and having a close relationship with the company’s biggest customer. How does it make you feel? Pretty lousy, right? It’s frustrating to see the team’s morale dip because of one person, especially when they seem untouchable due to their performance or connections. You’ve hoped your leader would notice and step in, but nothing has changed. Despite the obvious tension, your leader seems reluctant to address the issue, perhaps fearing the fallout of confronting a high performer. You’re tired of it. The negative energy is draining, and you’re seriously thinking about switching jobs just to escape the unhealthy environment. Sounds familiar? This highlights a critical issue in many workplaces. A single toxic team member, even one who is an A-player, can have a significant negative impact on team dynamics and overall productivity. It’s crucial for leaders to address these issues promptly, regardless of the individual’s performance metrics. So what can a leader do? 1️⃣ Provide Feedback: Have a private conversation with the individual to provide specific, behavior-based feedback. Explain how their actions impact the team and the organization’s goals. 2️⃣ Set Clear Expectations: Clearly articulate expected behavior and consequences. Emphasize teamwork and collaboration. 3️⃣ Offer Support: If the individual is willing to change, provide necessary support and resources, such as coaching, training, or frequent check-ins. 4️⃣ Communicate with Higher-Ups: Approach higher-ups with concrete examples of how toxic behavior affects team performance and morale. Use data or team feedback if possible. 5️⃣ Take Decisive Action: If the individual is unwilling to change or shows no improvement, consider reassignment or termination, depending on the severity. A strong team is built on trust and respect. By prioritizing these strategies, leaders can ensure a healthy, respectful, and productive workplace where everyone feels valued. Have you experienced something similar? How was this addressed, if at all? #Leadership #Teamwork #WorkplaceCulture #Feedback