Why We Judge Before We Understand

Don’t be in a hurry to judge. Also don’t confuse opinions with judgement. In fact, expose your opinions to context, observation, and curiosity. It will help you.  Build this muscle. It can be learnt, and it will make you a much better leader. I find too many people express opinions as judgement. One bad interaction with a person leads quickly from opinion to judgement. “The person did this to me; he is so mean and cruel. The person is after me.” Any response or action not liked by one can lead to judgement. Or worse judgement can come from biased opinions formed without enough thought or scrutiny. The primordial ones are the worst. When leading it is even more important that we don’t rush to judgement. Take your time and test your forming opinions with facts and talking with others.  Don’t allow a (mis)interpreted action to lead to a firm opinion. But most of all observe and try and understand the context of the other and when you entered their life. It’s different if you join the Ganga at Gangotri versus Kanpur versus Patna or when it is entering the Bay of Bengal. We would do well to try and ask questions to understand. Observe actions of others over time. Equally we must test our own beliefs and biases. See if they affect our judgement. In a work environment it does not require us to like everybody. We can respect people without liking them or having great chemistry with them. But it would be good if we tested our opinions – by talking to others and understanding context of others, by getting more facts, by observing in more situations before we reach a final judgement. Its equally important to get to know ourselves better, it leads to better opinions. So, don’t hurry to judge. Take your time. And as Plato said “Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”   

What if your quick judgment about someone was holding you back from seeing their brilliance? Judgment rarely serves us. It’s usually a reflection of our own insecurities or blind spots and can be so damaging. A few years ago, I worked with a colleague who was quiet, reserved, and didn’t contribute much in meetings. I assumed they were disengaged or not interested in growing within the company. I judged their silence as a lack of initiative. Then, I got to know them. Turns out, they were quietly leading a high-profile project that was bringing in massive results for the team. They weren’t disengaged, they were focused. They didn’t need the spotlight, they were letting their work speak for itself. That moment was a wake-up call. My judgment was blinding me to their true value and potential. Worse, it could have impacted how I interacted with them or advocated for their work. People sense when you’re judging, and it creates barriers. It erodes trust. It impacts decisions. It limits collaboration. 👐 Instead of judging, practice curiosity. 👐 Instead of making assumptions, ask questions. 👐 Instead of forming opinions, observe and listen. The workplace is full of potential connections, ideas, and opportunities, but only if we’re open to seeing them. How has judgment shown up for you at work? What strategies do you use to stay curious and open-minded? Let’s share and learn together in the comments👇

Humans tend to judge others based on first impressions and use that judgment as the basis for ongoing perception. As leaders, we are trained to form quick judgments with imperfect or very little information. This is a clear symptom of hyper-competitive environments. Over the past two months, having gone through some very personal experiences, I’ve witnessed the harm in this approach. Judgment is a byproduct of perception, which is inherently self-biased. Why? Because you may not have any clue about what is happening in someone else's personal life, except for what that person has shared, their behavior, and their presentation at the moment. This leads to an availability bias, isolating the present experience and then forming a judgment on someone’s capabilities, character, and value based on that single experience. I now believe that humans need multiple interactions in various settings to form accurate judgments. People have different values, interests, language barriers, skillsets, good days/bad days, and personal experiences that affect them. We should learn to appreciate this diversity and not make others feel inferior. Be more curious about one another, show empathy, forgive, and learn to love ideas that differ from our own.

As a single mom, one of my earliest and most disheartening encounters was with someone who casually remarked, "Your child needs a father." This comment was thrown without a moment’s pause to understand the depths of my journey or the reasons behind my decisions. It was my initiation into a world where society's beliefs overshadowed personal stories, where misconceptions about psychology became the basis for judgment. I was blindsided, not just by the unsolicited advice, but by the implication that my child would be psychologically vulnerable. In that moment, I felt a whirlwind of self-doubt, as if the abuse I had endured was somehow my fault. The weight of that judgment could have shattered me had it not been for the unwavering support of my close friends and family. I share this today as a gentle reminder to all: 1️⃣ Pause and Reflect: Before making assumptions or offering advice, take a moment to understand the other person's story. A single interaction is rarely enough to fathom someone’s life. 2️⃣ Empathy Over Judgment: We all carry our own battles. Let's make kindness and understanding our first response, not judgment. 3️⃣ Educate Yourself: If you genuinely want to help or connect, invest time in understanding the dynamics and challenges the person might be facing. Real help comes from informed, empathetic interactions. Next time you’re quick to judge someone based on a fleeting encounter or a mere social media post, pause and remember that behind every status is a story, often one of resilience and strength. Let's be the support system that uplifts rather than breaks. P.S.- This is me smiling after not taking sh*t from anyone who has an opinion about my life.

I'm currently working with an organization struggling with low trust internally. In addition to undermining collaboration, performance, and engagement, the environment of low trust is eroding people's curiosity about each other and driving criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and condemnation. Via coaching, training, and facilitation, I'm helping people shift from judgment of others to curiosity about others. Not only is this shift important for the vitality of my client, it's crucial to individual and collective functioning and well-being generally. Indeed, the polarization plaguing societies around the world is a product of rapid judgment of others and inadequate curiosity about what drives them and what we have in common. But what if we paused for a moment? What if we chose curiosity over condemnation? Being less judgmental and more curious can transform both your professional and personal life. Here’s why: 👉 Professionally: It fosters innovation, collaboration, and better decision-making. When we approach colleagues and ideas with curiosity, we uncover diverse perspectives and solutions. 👉 Personally: It deepens relationships and helps us navigate conflicts with empathy. Instead of reacting to someone’s words or actions, we can seek to understand the “why” behind them. Here are three practical strategies to cultivate curiosity and reduce judgment: 1️⃣ Ask Open-Ended Questions Replace assumptions with questions like, “What led you to that perspective?” or “Can you help me understand your thought process?” Questions create space for deeper dialogue and understanding. 2️⃣ Pause Before Reacting When you feel triggered or tempted to judge, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself, “What else could be true here?” This brief pause can shift your mindset from judgment to exploration. 3️⃣ Challenge Your Biases Actively seek out different perspectives, whether through books, conversations, or experiences. Exposing yourself to new ideas helps you grow and appreciate the complexity of others’ viewpoints. The next time you find yourself ready to judge, try shifting your mindset. Ask, “What can I learn from this?” and "What's it like for the other person?" You will be surprised at the insights that come your way and at how much richer and rewarding your relationships become. What strategies do you use to stay curious and open-minded? #curiosity #connection #relationships

In today’s fast-paced world, especially for business professionals juggling multiple responsibilities, we often lack the time, ability, or willingness to dive deep into complex topics. We live in an age of short videos and quick information, where it’s easy to feel informed after just a few minutes of scrolling. However, this surface-level understanding can lead to overconfidence and even arrogance. We form strong opinions without truly understanding the underlying science, data, or context. This trend is not only prevalent in everyday conversations but is dangerously creeping into critical fields like medicine and business. As a CEO who interacts with other business leaders regularly, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: strong opinions are often held without the necessary depth of knowledge or understanding. This is a wake-up call for all of us. We must challenge ourselves to dig deeper, seek out diverse perspectives, and rely on well-founded data and facts before making decisions or forming strong opinions. The consequences of not doing so can be significant, affecting not only our businesses but society as a whole. Let’s make a commitment to value depth and understanding over assumptions. In a world full of information, the real value lies in discernment.

Poor communication is the number one reason for arguments, lawsuits against doctors, divorce, and all the wrong assumptions we make daily. So much of what we think is going wrong is because we don’t have all the information. We assume things and make movies in our heads about why someone is acting a certain way or not. For example, we may judge someone and call them lazy. Yet we have no idea they are working three jobs, taking care of children and their aging parents, and sleeping about four hours a night. We call someone irresponsible for not answering an email, yet they never receive it, and it goes to the junk mail folder instead. We say someone is not romantic yet because they express their love language differently than we expect, and we never tell them what we like. We are not mind readers, yet we do like to make elaborate movies about why someone is doing or not doing something. A possible solution may be to get curious and ask what is going on. You can say something like, "I have noticed that you are not engaged in this project. Is there something going on? How can I support you?" If someone is not answering your emails, you can try another method, such as an old-school phone call, and ask if they saw your email. You can also state your needs and expectations so others are aware. Communication and compassion go a long way. Yet in the era of speed, stress, and a 30-second attention span, it’s always go, go, and go. There is no time to ask, no time to wait, and even less time to listen. It doesn’t matter. We have made up our movie in our minds, and now our emotions are everywhere as we pout, get angry, and are indignant about how we think the situation is happening. Even when you get the complete story, the question is, now what? Do you pretend things are ok? Do you apologize and start anew? We all get a chance every time to change the outcome. Perhaps the point of the unpleasant exchange was to learn to improve communication, be curious, practice forgiveness (for ourselves and others), and be humble. We should realize we are all human and trying our best and that we, too, have been brash, impatient, unkind, rough around the edges, or disengaged in the past. Forgive. Try anew. We are here to practice all the things that make us uncomfortable. Discomfort is the currency for growth, and growth is why we are here. Embrace it and step out of your comfort zone, and you will see that gifts will come. These will be a connection, humility, understanding, and improved communication. It sure beats arguments, lawsuits, divorce, or our frustration. Perhaps start with "tell me more" and see what unfolds.  

Let’s talk about preconceived bias. This won’t hurt or be controversial unless you take it there. Who else is brave enough to admit that they form opinions before fully know what is actually happening? I do it so many times a day. I can see something from a distance, not fully comprehend what is happening and form an entire narrative in my imagination of what is going on. Once I process everything, I am almost always wrong about what I thought I saw. Forming an opinion before fully understanding an issue is unwise. Specifically, when communicating with other humans or building relationships. Making decisions based on incomplete information can lead to poor outcomes. Understanding all aspects of an issue allows for more accurate and effective solutions. Being open to new information encourages critical thinking. It helps individuals to analyze and evaluate evidence before reaching a conclusion. Premature judgments are often influenced by biases and preconceived notions. Remaining open-minded helps mitigate these biases, leading to more fair and balanced perspectives. Many issues are complex and multifaceted. Assuming a position without understanding the nuances can oversimplify and misrepresent the reality of the situation. Acknowledging that one does not have all the answers is a sign of intellectual humility. It allows for growth and learning, as individuals remain open to new evidence and perspectives. Anyone brave enough to share a funny example of when you allowed a bias to cloud your perception of reality?

𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗼 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝘆 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 As leaders, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making snap judgments about ideas, people, or situations. But the best leaders know this: taking the time to understand before judging can change everything. When we judge too quickly, we risk: • Overlooking innovative ideas because they seem unconventional. • Misinterpreting someone’s intentions or capabilities. • Missing the bigger picture in the rush to make decisions. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻-𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁: ✅ 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 When faced with a situation, pause. Ask questions like: “What’s driving this behavior or decision?” or “Can you walk me through your thought process?” ✅ 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 Some of the best ideas come from approaches you never expected. Take time to hear diverse viewpoints—they can transform your strategies. ✅ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 Everyone has their own challenges and stories. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try to understand what’s happening beneath the surface. ✅ 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 Not every misstep defines a person’s potential. By showing patience and support, you can help someone grow into their best self. 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹-𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. Early in my career, I dismissed an idea too quickly because it didn’t seem feasible. But when I revisited it later with fresh eyes, it turned out to be the solution we needed. That experience taught me the value of holding judgment and staying curious. 💡 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿: Every person, idea, or challenge deserves a moment of patience. When we pause to understand, we open the door to innovation, collaboration, and trust. What’s one moment where you benefited from not judging too quickly? Let’s share and inspire each other in the comments. 🌟𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 Dinesh Sahu 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 #Leadership #Empathy #OpenMindset #Teamwork #PersonalGrowth VC : RESPECTIVE OWNER

We never see reality, only our perception of it. This paraphrase of a popular quote has always stuck with me as a reminder that our perception - of people, situations, data - is filtered through the lens of our biases and assumptions. It's easy, and often necessary, to draw quick conclusions based on incomplete information. A coworker seems lazy. A process seems pointless. But we owe it to ourselves and others to dig deeper and get as close to the truth as possible. Ask thoughtful questions. Check your premises. View issues from different angles. Some truths only reveal themselves upon careful examination. As leaders, seeking truth is even more crucial. Situation assessment based on perception alone can have far-reaching consequences. By challenging our impulse to judge, and striving to understand context, we can move closer to truth. With people, processes, priorities and more. Of course, this takes patience, curiosity, and humility. Things I try and remind myself to practice daily. But always seek to find the truth.