Navigating Team Conflicts In Engineering Projects

A recent post about Project Aristotle, our study on team effectiveness at Google, brought back a key personal learning. In that work, psychological safety, as defined and deeply researched by Amy Edmondson, emerged as the single most important factor behind team success. A key aspect of psychological safety is creating an environment where it’s safe to disagree. When we talk about conflict on teams, we often think in terms of “more” or “less.” But that framing is incomplete. What matters just as much as the presence of conflict is the quality of it. Here’s a 2x2 I find helpful, inspired by the work of Liane Davey, Priya Parker and Kim Scott. For me, the most insidious quadrant here is unhealthy peace, where surface-level harmony conceals deeper dysfunction. It often feels like saying “Sure, that works” even when your inner voice is saying “this doesn’t sit right.” You see avoidable mistakes happen. You may be in the room physically but are checked out mentally. Healthy conflict feels very different. You can disagree openly while still feeling like you belong. You walk out of a hard conversation with more clarity and more trust. You experience being stretched and challenged in a way that sharpens you and your team. So how do you know where you stand? Here are a few reflection cues that are helpful: -- Am I holding back because I want to be thoughtful, or because I’m afraid? -- Do I leave hard conversations feeling like something real got said? -- If I disagree with someone in power, do I trust they’ll listen? Like any muscle, the ability to engage in healthy conflict takes practice: -- You have to start with curiosity: “Can you help me understand how you got there?” -- You need to muster courage to name the discomfort: “This is hard to talk about, but I think it matters” -- Reflect after the disagreement: Did we learn? Did we grow? It’s one thing to have healthy conflict with peers. It’s much harder when there’s a power gap and when the person across from you controls your ratings, promotions, or future opportunities. That’s why leadership role modeling matters. If leaders don’t create environments where disagreement can be surfaced safely, they are setting their teams back. Make it easier for others to be both brave and heard -- that's the kind of leadership I've aspired to.

We’ve all experienced those team meetings that don’t go as planned.  But what if I told you there’s a powerful way to turn things around? That power is respect. I once had a team divided over a project’s direction. Instead of choosing sides, I decided to listen. 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 listen. I gave everyone my full attention and showed them that their opinions mattered. What happened next was incredible. The anger melted away. People started building on each other's ideas instead of tearing them down. We found common ground and suddenly, we weren't enemies. We were problem-solvers working towards the same goal. Respect isn’t just about being polite. It’s about truly valuing each other’s viewpoints, even when you disagree. It connects different perspectives and turns conflicts into opportunities for growth. So, the next time tensions rise, try this: 1. Create a safe space for open discussion. 2. Listen without interrupting. 3. Validate feelings, even if you disagree. 4. Look for shared goals. 5. Build on ideas instead of shooting them down. Lead with respect, and watch how it transforms your team. It’s not just about resolving one conflict. It’s about creating a culture where creativity and collaboration thrive.

There's one pattern I've seen repeatedly in all my years in the business: Engineering teams and product teams locked in constant conflict. Engineers complain about unclear requirements and constant scope changes. Product managers grumble about missed deadlines and pushback on features. Simple requests turn into lengthy debates. Most leaders try to fix this with: - New processes - Different frameworks - Team reorganizations - "Managing the healthy tension" But here's what I discovered: The root cause isn't personalities or communication. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀. When engineers are rewarded for code quality and technical excellence while product managers are evaluated on shipping features and hitting roadmap milestones, you've designed conflict into your system. After years of trial and error, here's what worked for us: ✅ Make customer impact the north star metric for BOTH teams ✅ Give engineers context about business goals and include product teams in technical planning ✅ Reward collaboration and joint problem-solving over individual achievements When we aligned incentives around customer outcomes, engineers started proposing creative solutions and product managers became more receptive to technical considerations. Your organization's reward systems create the behavior you see. What steps are you taking to align incentives in your organization? #ProductDevelopment #EngineeringLeadership #TechManagement

Technical brains + human feelings = 404 Error (I used to be that system.) We grew up in places where facts were everything. Feelings were ignored. School rewarded precision—not emotional depth. This creates a risky pattern: 1️⃣ Conversations stay surface-level. 2️⃣ People nod in meetings, then resist in action. 3️⃣ Real tensions go unspoken. Technical leaders avoid emotions because it feels unfamiliar. We’re wired to solve clear problems—not sit with discomfort. But real leadership requires emotional skill. Productive conflict isn’t cage match energy. It’s just being real—with a bit of courage. Here’s how to shift your approach to tension: ✓ 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 → “Let’s look at the idea—not the person.” → “I see your angle 𝘢𝘯𝘥 I have concerns.” → “It’s not about being right. It’s about what works best.” ✓ 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗲 → Assign someone to argue the opposite view. → List both pros 𝘢𝘯𝘥 cons. → Focus on tradeoffs, not perfect solutions. ✓ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀 → “Bringing up problems early is a contribution—not a complaint.” → “Good meetings solve problems—not just keep the peace.” → “Challenge ideas. Don’t attack people.” Your biggest issues hide where no one is speaking up. Your team doesn’t need all the answers. They need space for the truth. Got a go-to line for awkward conversations? Share it—I might steal it.

Managing team conflicts, especially over a project approach, is never fun, but it's part of being a leader. How do you handle conflicts within your team? Here’s how I usually tackle it: Listen to Both Sides: Before jumping to conclusions, I make sure to hear everyone out. This also helps in getting to the root cause of the conflict. Analyze the Situation: After understanding the perspectives, I assess what's going on. Sometimes, it's not just about the project but underlying issues like communication gaps or resource constraints. Focus on Objectives: I remind the team of the overall goals and how each approach aligns with those goals. This helps to steer the conversation toward a solution, not just airing grievances. Bring in a Neutral Third-Party: If things are really heated, sometimes bringing in an unbiased opinion can really help. Decision Time: After all the discussion and analysis, a decision has to be made. I make sure it aligns as much as possible with the project goals and team’s input. Document and Communicate: Once a decision is made, I document the rationale and next steps, and make sure everyone is aware and on board. Review and Learn: After the project is completed, or the specific phase has passed, I sit down with the team to review what went well and what didn't. It's a learning opportunity for everyone. Conflict isn't always bad... sometimes it leads to better solutions. But the key is managing it effectively to ensure it doesn’t derail the project or sour relationships. #teambuilding #leadership #productivity

I used to lose sleep over team conflicts. I'm a natural people-pleaser. I'd do anything to keep the peace. But after 20+ years in leadership, I learned something crucial: The best teams aren't conflict-free— They're conflict-SMART. Here are 5 things every manager needs to know: 1/ The People-Pleaser's Paradox ↳ Being liked feels safe ↳ But avoiding conflict hurts your team ↳ Leadership requires comfort with discomfort 2/ Task vs. Relationship Conflict ↳ Task conflict = Productive disagreement about work ↳ Relationship conflict = Personal friction that kills teams ↳ Know the difference, encourage the first 3/ The Hidden Cost of Avoidance ↳ Teams who dodge conflict build resentment ↳ Small issues become major disruptions ↳ Every week you wait multiplies the recovery time 4/ Your Conflict Management Toolkit ↳ Schedule regular 1:1s to catch issues early ↳ Use "I noticed..." statements instead of accusations ↳ Create structured debate spaces in meetings 5/ When to Step In (And When Not To) ↳ Let task conflicts play out (with boundaries) ↳ Step in immediately for personal attacks ↳ Coach team members to address peer conflicts directly Being comfortable with conflict isn't about being aggressive. It's about creating safety for honest conversations. What's your biggest challenge in handling team conflict? Share below 👇 (Swipe ➡️ for the visual carousel version) — ♻️ Repost to help other leaders build stronger teams ➕ Follow me (Chris Laping for more leadership truths

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.