Encouraging Honest Feedback in Performance Reviews

“We have a feedback culture.”   That’s what the slide says in your onboarding deck.  But here’s what the team actually feels: → “If I speak up, I’ll be labeled ‘difficult.’” → “If I share the real issue, I’ll lose trust.” → “If I name what’s broken, I’ll be the problem.” That’s not feedback. That’s fear. And fear doesn’t build trust. It builds silence. Here’s how to start changing that 👇 1️⃣ Ask questions they’re scared to answer. Try: “What’s one thing we’re not talking about that we should be?” 2️⃣ Respond to feedback like it’s a gift especially when it stings. If you defend, they won’t bring it again. 3️⃣ Give feedback in real time, not once a year. Waiting for performance reviews = waiting too long. 4️⃣ Model emotional regulation. Your tone and energy determine if the room opens up or shuts down. 5️⃣ Normalize disagreement. If your team always agrees with you, they probably don’t feel safe enough to be honest. 6️⃣ Show them how to speak up then protect them when they do. Psychological safety isn’t just permission. It’s protection. 7️⃣ Do your own work. Your self-awareness sets the ceiling for theirs. No inner work = no outer trust. You don’t earn trust through words. You earn it through nervous systems. Because if people can’t breathe around you, they won’t be honest with you. Want to lead a team where truth feels safe? Start with how you listen. - ♻️ Repost to help leaders prioritize psychological safety 🔔 Follow me Julia Laszlo for radically honest leadership talk

Performance reviews shouldn’t feel like a surprise attack. They should build trust. Clarify expectations. Support growth. But too often? They leave people confused or deflated. It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what happens when emotionally intelligent leaders get it right 👇 It’s a two-way conversation, not a monologue ↳ One-sided reviews undermine trust and overlook valuable insights. ❌ Avoid saying: “Here’s how you did this year...” ✔️ Consider saying: “Before I share my feedback, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how this year went—the wins and the challenges.” It starts with strengths, highlighting achievements ↳ Emphasizing strengths fosters safety and enhances openness to feedback. ❌ Avoid saying: “First, let’s address the areas needing improvement. ” ✔️ Consider saying: “Let’s begin with what’s working. You’ve had a strong impact in [XYZ area].” It names emotions without making it personal ↳ Emotions are important, but feedback concentrates on behaviors, not character. ❌ Avoid saying: “You were quite challenging to collaborate with on this project.” ✔️Consider saying: “There were a few moments that caused frustration for the team—can we discuss how we might approach that differently together?” It balances necessary candor with care ↳ Candor fosters personal growth, while care encourages openness to embrace that growth. ❌ Avoid saying: “This is probably not a strength of yours.” ✔️ Consider saying: “This area fell short of expectations, and I know you can achieve more. Let’s discuss what would assist us moving forward.” It includes future-forward coaching ↳ Reviews should focus on growth rather than merely reviewing the past. ❌ Avoid saying: “There’s not much more to say. I think you know where I stand on your performance. Let’s see how the next quarter goes.” ✔️Consider saying: “Let’s discuss what’s next—what goals you’re excited about and how I can support your development.” It reflects active listening for deeper understanding ↳ People share more when they feel understood ❌ Avoid saying: “I already know how you’re going to respond—we don’t need to rehash that.” ✔️Consider saying: “Can you share more about your experience with the [XYZ] project? I want to ensure I’m not overlooking anything.” It ends with alignment and encouragement ↳ The conclusion of a review should create clarity and momentum, not confusion or hesitation. ❌ Avoid saying: “I suppose you should just keep working on it.” ✔️Consider saying: “I feel like we are on the same page, and I’m committed to supporting you at every turn." ✨ That’s the kind of review that builds trust, ownership, and momentum. What’s a phrase you’ve heard—or used—that made a performance review feel like a real conversation? Drop it in the comments 👇 *** ♻️ Re-post or share so others can lead more effectively 🔔 Turn on notifications for my latest posts 🤓 Follow me at Scott J. Allen, Ph.D. for daily content on leadership 📌 Design by Bela Jevtovic

I thought I was good at giving and receiving feedback. For years, I leaned on the “feedback sandwich.” Start with praise, slip in the critique, end on another compliment. Safe, right? That’s what they teach most managers working in corporate after all. Until one day, a team member said to me quietly after a review: “I’m not sure if your compliments are real… or just the bread before the but.” That hit me. My attempt to be “kind” was actually eroding trust. They weren’t hearing the encouragement, and they weren’t hearing the feedback. It wasn’t working. That’s why I was so grateful to the MBA Leadership Fellows at The Wharton School , especially Shruti Manglik , who taught me an alternative… the CEDAR framework! 🔹 C – Context: “I have noticed that you lack an ownership mindset in driving workstreams, especially those that…” 🔹 E – Examples: “For instance, during the last sprint, I noticed that you……” 🔹 D – Diagnosis: “Was it X? Y?” 🔹 A – Action: “How can we improve on this trait/ prevent that from happening again next time? Let’s think through this and make a plan together.” 🔹 R – Review: “We’ll check in at the next biweekly review session.” Notice the difference? It’s not about sugarcoating. It’s about clarity and collaboration. It’s about coming in with an empathetic attitude while trying to problem solve together. CEDAR invites dialogue, not defensiveness. And it makes praise land as genuine because it stands on its own. My takeaway: Feedback isn’t about wrapping hard truths in soft words. It’s about building trust strong enough to carry both encouragement and constructive criticism. Curious….what’s the most memorable piece of feedback you’ve ever received? Did it come as a sandwich… or something more honest?👀

As performance review season approaches, I've been reflecting on a conversation from over a decade ago that still sits with me today. During my review, my manager told me I "needed to work on my confidence." When I asked for clarification, she said, "Think about how [male colleague] would have handled this situation." I can't fully fault my manager - who was herself a woman. We all carry internalized biases that we've absorbed from years of working in systems that often value traditionally masculine behaviors. It's a stark reminder that unlearning these patterns requires conscious effort from all of us, regardless of gender. That moment crystallized something I've observed throughout my career: vague feedback often masks unconscious bias, particularly in performance reviews. "Lack of confidence" is frequently used as shorthand to describe women's leadership styles, while similar behavior in male colleagues might be viewed as "thoughtful" or "measured." Here's what I wish that manager had said instead: 🔹 "I'd like you to take the lead in proposing solutions to the team, rather than waiting to be called on." 🔹"Let's work on defending your decisions with data when faced with pushback from folks." 🔹"I noticed you often preface your ideas with "I think..." Let's practice delivering recommendations with clear rationale and conviction." 🔹"Here are specific techniques to influence cross-functional stakeholders more effectively." As leaders, we are responsible for being intentional and specific in our feedback. Vague critiques like "needs more confidence" or "should be more assertive" without concrete examples or actionable guidance don't help our reports grow – they perpetuate harmful stereotypes. To my fellow managers preparing for year-end reviews: 🔹Be specific about behaviors, not personality traits 🔹Provide clear examples and contexts 🔹Outline actionable steps for improvement 🔹Check your biases - are you applying the same standards across your team? Remember: The impact of your words may last far longer than the conversation itself. #Leadership #PerformanceReviews #UnconsciousBias #WomenInBusiness #ProfessionalDevelopment

🚨 The Performance Review Lie: What Your Employees REALLY Want to Tell You 🚨 After years of observing leadership failures and speaking with professionals across industries, I've noticed a disturbing pattern: people lie in performance reviews. 😔 Not because they're dishonest, but because they've learned that honesty gets punished. ⚠️ 🌟 BELIEVE in authentic feedback! 🌟 👉 "I'm satisfied with my current role" actually means... 💭 "I've given up asking for advancement because you promote based on politics, not performance." 🔥 👉 "No additional training needed" actually means... 🎯 "I've stopped requesting development because you always say 'budget constraints' but somehow find money for executive retreats." 💸 👉 "Communication is fine" actually means... 💬 "I've learned that challenging your ideas gets me labeled as 'not aligned with company vision.'" 🚧 📢 What They're NOT Telling You: 🔥 Your "360 feedback" is a joke Nobody gives honest input because they know it gets back to managers who hold grudges. 😞 🔥 Your performance metrics are broken You measure what's easy to count, not what actually drives results or innovation. 📊 🔥 Your development plans are empty promises "We'll revisit this next quarter" has become code for "never going to happen." 🚪 💰 The Real Cost 💰 Every sanitized performance review represents: 🧠 Missed coaching opportunities 💵 Wasted potential sitting right in front of you 📉 Talented people mentally checking out 💔 Trust erosion that takes years to rebuild ✅ Getting Honest Performance Conversations Smart leaders: ✓ Ask "What barriers are preventing your best work?" instead of "Are you meeting expectations?" 🤔 ✓ Share their own challenges and growth areas first 🪞 ✓ Create psychological safety where disagreement is valued, not punished🛡️ ✓ Focus on future potential, not just past performance 🚀 💡 Here's the hard question: If your employees could give you a performance review without consequences, what would they say about YOUR leadership? 🤯 The people sitting across from you in those reviews aren't the problem. They're protecting themselves from a system that punishes truth-telling. 💯 Start modeling the vulnerability you want to see. Share your own areas for improvement. Ask better questions. Create space for real conversation. 🗣️ Your next performance review cycle is an opportunity to revolutionize your leadership. Will you take it? ⚡ ✨ I help organizations and teams transform trust into a high-performance tool through the BELIEVE Framework program. Reach out to me if you need to Lead Boldly, Build Boldly, Grow Boldly. I am here to help. ✨ #PerformanceReviews #WorkPlaceTruth #OrganizationalCulture