How to Recognize Toxic Positivity in the Workplace

Last week's email from Adam Grant on toxic positivity got me thinking. It started, "In hard times, urging people to be positive doesn’t boost their resilience. It denies their reality." I've spent a lot of time recently reinforcing positive feedback as an important element of the manager-team member relationship. Our work environments need more positive feedback. While every tool has its place, they can become a liability when used excessively or inappropriately. Adam's message got me thinking about the times when positivity doesn't get us the desired outcome. I was recently coaching a team member who was increasingly struggling with their performance. My reaction was to keep being positive with them. "Look how well you've done that. I know how much more untapped potential you have. I am excited for us to be on the path to bringing it out." The problem was, they were continuing to underperform. What I could have said is something like, "It must be hard to know you're not meeting your goals. I am sorry you're struggling. What are some things I can do to help you get there?" They needed support to become productive and more resilient. They didn't need positivity. I listened to Adam's ReThinking podcast on toxic positivity with Susan David, Ph.D. (link in comments). Susan says of toxic positivity, "It is avoidant of the reality that is in front of you, and the same is experienced when we in our day-to-day lives live in a culture that tells us good vibes only. Just be positive. This is not making us more resilient. This is not helping us to have tough conversations, to understand shared values. ...When we tell people just to be positive, what we are actually saying to them is my comfort is more important than your reality." I was trying to be positive. What I could have been is empathetic with a recognition that it's going to take hard work. Reality isn't always helped by being optimistic. Sometimes the right thing is simply to be not pessimistic.

I am an optimist. But “good vibes” are not always called for. Sometimes, it is more healthy to express uncomfortable emotions. “Toxic positivity" is the idea that positive thinking and positive emotions are always good, and that we should always try to be happy and optimistic. This can be damaging because it can lead to denial, avoidance, and suppression of negative emotions. When people are told to "stay positive" or "look on the bright side," they may feel like they're not allowed to express their true feelings or experiences. This can lead to frustration, burnout, and eventually disengagement. By not acknowledging the full range of human emotions, organizations can miss out on valuable opportunities for growth and improvement. One of the key signs of "toxic positivity" is an inability to accept constructive feedback or criticism. Or give it. A person who's overly positive may tend to dismiss or ignore any feedback that's not positive, even if it's given in a respectful way. They may also refuse to accept any negative feedback about their work or performance. Another sign is an inability to deal with conflict in a healthy way. Toxic positivity can prevent people from acknowledging or resolving conflict, which can lead to long-term resentment and anger. Have you noticed any of these signs in your team? Or more importantly, in yourself? I can sometimes be full of good vibes with an asterisk. I’m working on it. When we notice that someone on our team is displaying signs of "toxic positivity," there are a few things we can do. First, try to create an environment where it's okay to be honest, even when the truth is negative. Let people know that it's okay to have difficult conversations, as long as they're respectful. Second, encourage people to take responsibility for their mistakes and offer support to help them learn and grow from them. Finally, model healthy emotional expression yourself, and show that it's okay to experience a full range of emotions. Follow these principles and you may find yourself encouraging the healthy expression of both good and bad vibes. Your team will likely function better, and tension-filled rooms will soon disappear. #Ortho3 #nextlevelortho #simpleortho #simpleorthodontics #orthodontics #dentistry #leadership #toxicpositivity

Toxic positivity is no better than a bad attitude Let’s be honest ❌ You may not land somewhere soon ❌ The layoff may not have been for the best ❌ You may not get the next one for sure. I know you mean well by saying these things to people but it often adds an undo pressure and minimizes how hard the search really is. I’ve had plenty of people tell me I talk with a defeatist attitude. But as I’ve been described by a good HR friend of mine. I’m a positive realist. Instead of telling someone how it will be ok consider asking them how they are. Or ask how you can best support them. Tell other people about how great they are But let them be down too. Don’t tell them “cheer up” Don’t make them feel worse for not just pretending it’s all great. People are humans and humans have a whole range of emotions. And for those of you who are feeling the low end of them. I promise it’s ok. Let yourself feel them Let yourself be down if that’s how you feel But then get back up. Just do it on your time. Not when someone pressures you into it with nonstop positivity in a bad situation. #jobsearching #toxicpositivity #careeradvice