How to Make Feedback Requests Feel Natural

Most leaders avoid feedback conversations because they fear what might break. But what if the real risk is what you'll never build? According to Gallup, 80% of employees who receive meaningful feedback on a weekly basis are fully engaged (2019). Yet 37% of leaders admit they're uncomfortable giving feedback to their teams. That silence isn't kindness. It's career sabotage. I discovered this while coaching a brilliant VP who avoided giving feedback for 6 months. His reasoning? "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Meanwhile, his team was stuck in a loop of repeated mistakes, missed growth, and mounting frustration. The quiet cost of silence was crushing their potential. The truth? Feedback delayed is development denied. Here's the T.R.U.S.T.™ Feedback Framework I teach my executive clients: 1/ Time it right → 60% of employees want feedback weekly → But 39% wait over three months to hear anything → Create a rhythm, not just reactions to problems 2/ Real, not rehearsed → "In yesterday's client call, I noticed..." → Specific moments create specific growth → Vague praise and vague criticism both waste time 3/ Understand the person → Different team members need different approaches → Some need direct words, others need gentle questions → Personalize delivery, not just content 4/ Safe to receive → Ask "What support do you need with this?" → Make feedback a conversation, not a verdict → This transforms defensiveness into development 5/ Two-way street → End with "What feedback do you have for me?" → Your willingness to receive transforms your right to give → This builds feedback culture, not just compliance The most powerful leaders build teams where truth flows freely in all directions. Because when feedback feels like genuine care, not criticism, performance soars. What feedback conversation have you been avoiding that could unlock someone's potential? 📌 Save this framework for your next growth conversation ➕ Follow Loren Rosario - Maldonado, PCC for human leadership

If feedback always feels uncomfortable, here’s one way to shift the dynamic. I talk to a lot of managers, and one common frustration I hear is this: “My direct report just can’t take feedback.” But sometimes, the challenge isn’t about receiving feedback. It’s about not knowing how to invite it in. If that’s ever been you, here’s something simple you can try: Be the one to ask first. Instead of waiting for vague, reactive feedback, try getting specific. Say something like: "Hey, I’m trying to stay more organized while managing this project. From your perspective, am I on track—or are there things I could tighten up?" Now your manager has something clear to respond to. If they do point out areas to improve, chances are, they’ll also offer something concrete to help you get better. Even better? They’ll likely see you as self-aware, proactive, and open to growth—even if you’re asking about something you struggle with. That small shift not only changes the tone of the conversation—it builds trust. Because asking for feedback isn’t just about improving performance. It’s about showing up with ownership. Have you tried this approach before? Or do you have a tip that’s helped you give or receive feedback more easily? Drop it in the comments, I’d love to hear what’s worked for you.

Your brain can't process praise and criticism simultaneously. That's why traditional feedback methods are harmful. But there's ONE discovery that creates growth, not resistance: Direct. Then Connect. Neuroscience shows our brains process praise and criticism through completely different neural pathways. That's why the "feedback sandwich" fails so spectacularly. When we buffer criticism with praise... The brain cannot process these mixed signals effectively. People see through it anyway. Studies show 74% of professionals detect sandwich feedback within seconds. Having directly managed 300+ people and coached over 100 founders on leadership and culture, I’ve seen the real impact of feedback. Here’s what works... Two simple steps: 1. DIRECT: First, get permission and deliver unfiltered feedback. "May I share some observations about your presentation?" Then state exactly what needs improvement. This activates voluntary participation, and increases receptivity greatly. 2. CONNECT: Then, separately reaffirm their value "Your contributions remain vital to our success." The key? Complete separation between these steps. Direct feedback gives a clean signal about what needs to change. Connection maintains psychological safety. They know their status isn't threatened. Getting permission isn’t a minor detail - it’s crucial. It fosters respect and trust before you give tough feedback. Setting the stage for it to land well. The neuroscience behind this is clear: A Gallup study shows regular feedback mechanisms result in 14.9% increase in employee engagement and a 21% increase in profitability. Companies implementing this see remarkable results: • Cisco saw 54% faster resolution of team conflicts • Adobe reported 30% reduction in employee turnover • Pixar found 22% higher willingness to challenge assumptions • Microsoft under Nadella accelerated deployment cycles by 31% The traditional sandwich approach can feel safer, but it creates distrust. Direct Then Connect can feel scarier, but it builds psychological safety. Humans are wired to prioritize belonging above almost everything. When feedback threatens our status, our brains go into protection mode. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. Implementing this approach requires courage. You have to trust your relationship is strong enough to handle direct feedback. But that's the paradox: By being more direct, you actually build stronger relationships. Try it with your team this week. You might feel uncomfortable at first, but watch what happens to your culture. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. And companies that learn faster win. - If you liked this post? Follow us for more insights on conscious leadership and building companies from the inside out. Proud to coach with Inside-Out Leadership: executive coaching by trained coaches who have founded, funded, scaled, & sold their own companies.