How To Handle Difficult Feedback In Design Critiques

Early in my career I used to resist feedback and get defensive, and combative, actually. I would say “I am open to feedback” Then shut down. I know why. I grew up where you only received negative feedback,  never positive & it felt like I only ever made mistakes. I hated it. As a professional, I prided myself on working really hard and minimizing mistakes. In part to avoid negative feedback. Over time, ↳ I learned how to be more objective, ↳ process the information, ↳ process my emotions, ↳ and how to listen, without reacting I have seen many people do this many times. From New employees to Corporate Vice Presidents. We think we are ready, until someone says, “i have feedback for you” ... Here’s how to receive feedback without shutting down (Even when it stings): ✅ Expect it, don’t fear it → Ask: “What’s one thing I could have done better?” → Invite feedback before it’s given to you → It won’t feel like a surprise or attack ✅ Pause, don’t pounce → Don’t explain or argue in the moment → Just write it down and listen → That pause helps you stay present ✅ Get curious, not cornered → Ask: “Can you share a recent example?” → Don’t defend. Ask questions. → Find one point you can agree with ✅ Focus on the what, not the who → Say: “This is about the work, not me” → Focus on the behavior being named → Growth starts with that small shift ✅ Look for patterns, not perfection → One comment = input. Multiple = insight → Fix trends, not one-off opinions → Keep what’s useful. Let go of the rest. You don’t have to agree with feedback to learn from it. Resistance is optional. Growth isn’t. What’s helped you handle tough feedback better? ♻️ Repost to support your team’s growth. 🔔 Follow Justin Hills for practical leadership insights.

Have you ever felt that immediate internal bristle when someone gives you #feedback? That visceral "but, but, but..." response that bubbles up before you've even fully processed what they've said? I had one of those moments just last week. A client mentioned that my explanation of a leadership framework "went a bit into the weeds". My first thought? "But I was just being thorough!" (Complete with an internal eye roll that would make any teenager proud.) #Defensiveness is such a natural human response. Our brains are literally wired to protect our self-image — it's not a character flaw, it's neurobiology! (Thanks, brain.) But here's what I've learned from years of both giving and receiving difficult feedback: how we handle those defensive moments often determines whether we grow from feedback or just barely survive it. Here's my toolkit for when those defensive walls go up (and they will): 1. Notice the feeling without jumping to action. When your chest tightens or your thoughts race toward justification, just label it: "This is defensiveness showing up." That tiny pause creates space between feeling and reacting. 2. Remember that impact beats intent every time. My intentions for that workshop were excellent (thoroughness!), but if the impact was confusion, that's what matters. My good intentions don't erase someone else's experience. 3. Reframe feedback as a catalyst for improvement and growth. The people who tell us uncomfortable truths are offering us something valuable. Sometimes the feedback that stings most contains the exact insight we need. (I have found that the truer the feedback is, the more it hurts.) 4. Focus on specific behaviors rather than your identity. There's a world of difference between "that explanation was confusing" and "you're a confusing person." Separate the action from your sense of self. 5. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. You're allowed to be a work in progress. (I know that I sure am.) Developing this #mindset transforms defensiveness from a threat to your worth into a normal part of your growth journey. What are your go-to strategies when defensiveness strikes? I'd love to hear what works for you. And yes, I'll shorten my explanation for the next time. Sometimes, the feedback that makes us squirm today often becomes the #wisdom we're grateful for tomorrow. #Professionaldevelopment #leadership #emotionalIntelligence #Feedbackculture

For years I handled feedback all wrong, here’s what I’d do instead. I remember my first customer onsite. I was with my VP, still new-ish in my CS career but ready. I had the deck. I had the agenda. I knew every attendee. The meeting? Chef’s kiss. So imagine my surprise when my VP, after the meeting, walked me through a list of things I could have done better. As he rattled them off, I shut down. I couldn’t hear him. All I heard was: “You suck.” “You’re not good enough.” That wasn’t what he was saying at all. But I couldn’t separate feedback from failure. I didn’t see it in the moment, but now as a leader I do: Giving feedback is hard. Giving feedback to someone who’s defensive and shut down? Nearly impossible. If I truly wanted to grow, I had to learn how to learn from feedback. Here’s what I do now: 1️⃣ I tell people how I best receive feedback. Do I need it in writing first? In real-time? Do I need time to process? I set that expectation early. 2️⃣ I pause before I respond. That little buffer helps me shift from “respond” mode to “reflect” mode. 3️⃣ I look for patterns. If I’ve heard the same thing from more than one person, it’s worth examining. 4️⃣ I remind myself feedback isn’t a judgment, it’s a gift. Someone cared enough to help me grow. That’s not a threat. That’s a favor. Feedback is still hard to hear but now when I receive it, I consider who, what, and why. If it’s coming from the right person, with the right message, and good intentions, I can internalize it. But I’ve also learned: not all feedback needs to drive change. Sometimes the real skill is knowing what to do with it. Learning how to accept feedback is one of the most underrated professional skills out there. Master it and your growth will skyrocket. How do you like to receive feedback? Drop your tips, I’m always learning.