Training for Empathy in Customer Interactions

I saw a masterclass in empathy. A customer at Raw Juice in Boca Raton hands Alexa, the manager, a coupon. The problem? The coupon is from another Raw Juice. And since each store is independently operated, the coupon isn't valid. Here’s how Alexa responded: “Thank you for coming back. I know this isn’t something you want to hear. Since each Raw Juice is independently owned, coupons aren’t transferable. You couldn’t have known that, I will apply the discount anyway.” Customer: “Wow! Thank you!” Alexa: “My pleasure. Our app applies discounts automatically without you having to lug coupons around. If you’d like, I can show you how it works.” Customer: “That would be great.” Brilliant. Here’s why: (Appreciation) “Thank you for coming back.” (Neutralize negative emotions by labeling them. Chris Voss calls this an accusations audit.) “I know this isn’t something you want to hear.” (Clarity) “Since each Raw Juice is independently owned, coupons aren’t transferable.” (Validate) “There’s no way you could have known that, so that I will apply the discount anyway.” (Illuminating a benefit while letting the customer decide) “Our app applies discounts automatically without you having to lug coupons around. If you’d like, I can show you how it works.” Knowing how to deliver “bad news” in a way that lowers resistance is a good skill to master.

The mom needed jeans for her 13-year-old son. She was nervous and worried about getting it wrong. I was a 16-year-old retail associate, about to get my first lesson in customer empathy. Empathy comes from a shared or relatable experience. It helps us better understand our customer's needs so we can provide a better experience. Clearly, I didn't SHARE my customer's experience. I didn't know how it felt to be a mom trying to buy clothes for a teenage boy. But I could RELATE to the mom for two reasons. First, I had recently been someone's 13-year-old son. Second, I knew how it felt to be overwhelmed when you went shopping for a gift. I reassured the mom, asked her some questions about her son, and helped her buy the perfect pair of jeans. The mom returned with her son a week later to buy more. She was beaming with pride and confidence since the first pair was a huge hit. She was my first repeat customer. Empathy for the win. It took me awhile to break down the technique I had used to empathize with my customer in that moment. Here's the process: 1. Identify the emotion I could tell the mom was feeling nervous. 2. Ask yourself, "Why is this customer feeling this way?" The mom told me directly. She wanted to make sure she bought the right jeans for her son and worried about getting it wrong. 3. Think about a time when you had a similar feeling.  I instantly thought about times when I was nervous about buying something for someone else. 4. Try to demonstrate that you know how they feel. Relating to the mom helped me understand she was looking for assurance. I knew a lot about both our products and the jean preferences of teenage boys, so it was easy for me to make suggestions. 💡Try this technique: practice empathizing with customers you serve today. You might be amazed at how it can improve the experience!

👥 Are our customers a name and a logo, or a real person trying to help themselves and their companies win each day? Let’s be honest: CS doesn’t always get this right. I don’t always get this right. When things get tough (aka churn risk, low usage, budget pressure) our instinct is to reach for the metrics. What can we quantify? What can we prove? How do we show we’re “doing our job”? We start building dashboards, framing health scores, chasing outcomes. Not wrong But also not enough. Because often, metrics make us feel better internally. But they don't us understand the people we’re here to serve. This is the tension at the heart of CS. We sit between the customer’s lived reality and the company’s operational pressure. And it’s our job to resolve that tension. Not avoid it. Not outsource it. Own it. So here’s what I’m thinking about today: What can we do to drive a deeper understanding across our orgs of client needs and value? And more importantly: How do we humanize the people at those clients? Here are 5 small moves with outsized impact: 1️⃣ Tell customer stories, not just stats. Share a 30-second anecdote at an All Hands Meeting. Real people. Real outcomes. 2️⃣ Bring a voice into the room. Quote an actual user in a roadmap meeting. Let them shape the build. 3️⃣ Translate feedback into intent. Don’t just say what a client asked for. Explain why it matters. 4️⃣ Invite cross-functional teammates to customer calls. Let them hear the tone, nuance, and urgency directly. 5️⃣ Celebrate wins that start with the customer. When a feature lands or a renewal closes, connect it to the human story behind it. CS isn’t just about adoption or retention. It’s about being the customer people engine inside the business. And that starts with us, every day, choosing to fight for understanding, not just validation. #CustomerSuccess #Leadership #VoiceOfCustomer #CustomerCentricity #CreateTheFuture

Have you ever felt like you're caught in a customer's whirlwind of frustration, unsure of how to guide the conversation toward a solution? I can relate, as I've faced similar challenges in trying to regain control without coming across as dismissive. To address this, I've developed a technique I call "snatch and flip." It's a straightforward yet effective way to acknowledge your customer's concerns while seamlessly transitioning into problem-solving mode. Here's how it works: Listen attentively to grasp the core issue. Identify the most pressing concern (usually what they mention repeatedly). "Snatch" that topic and "flip" it into a solution-focused discussion. For example, imagine a customer ranting about a rental car breakdown on the way to a family funeral. They keep mentioning their children's discomfort. Instead of getting lost in the details, you could say: "I'm sorry you're having such a frustrating experience. I don't want your kids and you to be stranded a moment longer. Let's get you back on the road..." This approach shows you've genuinely heard their concerns while swiftly moving toward resolution. Remember, the key is to acknowledge emotions before problem-solving. Skip this step, and you risk the customer continuing to vent. Imagine confidently handling even the most difficult calls, knowing you have a proven technique to guide the conversation. It's not about shutting customers down but channeling their frustration into productive dialogue. Would you be interested in my LinkedIn Learning Call Control Course?

I love data. Law is a language that helps me build policy. But the strongest tool in my impact toolbox is empathy. Empathy is essential to designing solutions. Many limit its power to “an emotional experience” but empathy is human intelligence intended to deepen connection and create impact that sticks. Empathy is also an innate research tool, especially for Indigenous and Indigenous-forgotten communities. Activating empathy has you move through the following logic tree: 1) What is the problem I’m sensing and why is it speaking to me? (knowing why you’re moved and connected helps keeps you in design mode) 2) How can I communicate with this person, this community, or this environment to encourage the sharing of the problem, conflict and solutions? (empower yourself with the full range of mixed research methods to assess the right problems and humanize them…and remember, the community also dreams of stellar solutions even if they’re experiencing the pain) 3) As I’m listening, how do I demonstrate to them “yo, I hear you?” (gathering information is not enough; how do those insights get replayed, reshared, visualized? This increases the probability of ongoing engagement by amplifying their voice) 4) Create a space where more hands are on deck to design (this isn’t easy and yes, takes more time. Most of our jobs for efficiency want to know the problem and just turn out a solution. But if you’re an Impactreneur, sustainability is one of your goals. And empathy tells you that solutions cannot fail for people who need them to work. More people invested in the design space, yes means more personalities. But at this stage, you should be in love with the people more than the product). Sharing an example of what activating empathy looks like from a campaign I led designing for the City of New York to address Black mental health—the first and only municipality to execute such a strategy. I’m happy to break down how we were able to train more Black people in mental health first aid in 8 months than the city was able to do in three years, but know at the origin of this strategy, empathy was the driving energy. Love to hear how empathy has driven success for you. #equitymindset #empathy #design #impact #entrepreneur

Customer Empathy in CSMs, Part 1 This week, I was asked how to increase the empathy skills of CSMs. From my experience, instilling and growing empathy with the CS teams is all about leadership style. 1.  It's about giving your team the time and space to work with their customers effectively. 2.  Removing challenges that stand in the team's way that takes away from being proactive. 3.  Advocating for the team across the company. 4.  Championing and sharing the wins and outlining learnings/challenges/failures. 5.  Meeting 1:1 with all global team members at least quarterly to see how they are doing as people, not job performance. 6.  As a leader, periodically join customer calls for just a few minutes to support your team and thank the customer for their partnership. 7.  Building cross-functional feedback loops, especially with product, marketing, sales, and support. 8. Encourage team members to actively listen to customers' concerns, feedback, and stories. 9. Promote an environment where listening to each other within the team is equally valued. 10. Having support and customer success teams shadow each other to witness customer interactions directly. 11. Empathy training and workshops; empathy is a core value. 12. Role-playing exercises to simulate customer interactions, helping team members understand different customer perspectives and scenarios. 13.  Develop, review, and iterate detailed customer personas and map customer journeys to help the team understand the various touchpoints and challenges customers face.   14.  Share customer testimonials at all-hands meetings, or better yet, have a customer share live. 15. And, yes, then the passion for empathy and the driving actions become adopted by other teams as they witness its value from cross-functional initiatives. Graphic credit: USEReady #customersuccess #leadership #empathy #csm

Most people listen to respond, not to understand. Don’t be most people. We've all been there: Nodding along, waiting for our turn to speak. But true connection happens when we truly hear each other. Great leaders listen to understand, not just to reply. Here's how to replace passive responses with powerful active listening: 1. "I get it." → "It sounds like you're saying [paraphrase]. Did I understand correctly?" ↳ Shows you're paying attention, not just assuming 2. "I hear you." → "That sounds [challenging/exciting/etc.]. Tell me more about that." ↳ Invites deeper conversation and shows genuine interest 3. "Yeah, makes sense." → "What led you to that perspective?" ↳ Encourages them to expand their thoughts and reasoning 4. "Got it." → "I want to make sure I understand fully—could you elaborate on that?" ↳ Ensures clarity rather than brushing past important details 5. "That's interesting." → "What stands out to you the most about that situation?" ↳ Helps them reflect on what truly matters in their experience 6. "I understand." → "So, if I heard correctly, [summarize key point]. Is that accurate?" ↳ Confirms comprehension instead of making assumptions 7. "I know how you feel." → "That must have been [emotion]. How did you navigate that?" ↳ Validates their experience without making it about yourself 8. "Okay." → "Let me take a moment to process what you've shared." ↳ Signals deep attention instead of rushing to reply 9. "That's tough." → "How can I best support you right now?" ↳ Offers concrete action rather than passive sympathy 10. "Mhm." → "I truly appreciate you sharing this with me." ↳ Creates a safe space for continued openness Remember: Active listening is a leadership superpower. It has the power to: ✔ Build unshakable trust ✔ Eliminate costly misunderstandings ✔ Turn forgettable exchanges into lasting connections Watch how these phrases reshape the way you lead, influence, and connect. 𝗣.𝗦. Which one will you try first? 👇 — ♻️ Repost to help others become better listeners ➕ Follow Sandra Pellumbi for more. 🦉

There is a distinction that I have found both in my private sector time as well as in the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), that separates exceptional performers and great teams from mediocre ones. The most critical—yet often overlooked—element isn't process or technology, but mindset. Every interaction and decision is governed by a fundamental question: Where is your focus? On the customer, or on yourself? When self-focus dominates, decisions inevitably trend toward minimizing personal effort, complexity, or discomfort. In essence, you are seeking the most convenient way to get things done for yourself. This seemingly rational approach creates a dangerous trajectory. It shifts the burden towards your customer or end user. It may be something as simple as, “you have to fill out a ticket before I can help you”. However small it may seem, these minor inconviences often accumulate through the entire customer experience to become a demoralizing journey. In contrast, a customer-focused mindset asks different questions: "How can my efforts simplify their experience?" or "What small additional step would make this interaction memorable?" This perspective transforms routine transactions into relationship-building opportunities. The result isn't just satisfied customers, but enthusiastic advocates. The challenge for leaders isn't just practicing this mindset themselves, but cultivating it throughout their teams and organization. This requires deliberate selection, training that emphasizes empathy alongside technical skills, recognition systems that celebrate customer-focused decisions, and leaders who consistently model this priority in their own actions. In today's experience economy, be it in the public or private sectors, this mindset differentiation isn't just nice-to-have—it's the foundation of sustainable competitive advantages. For business that translates into more profits, for the FBI it keeps us ahead of the threats!

The customer support team hit every KPI last quarter. 99.2% CSAT. 2.3 minute average handle time. 94% first-call resolution. The CEO said "exceptional performance!" Then I read the actual tickets: Ticket #47291: Customer called about wedding catering delivery that never showed. 150 guests. No food. Reception ruined. Support response: "Sorry for the inconvenience. Here's a full refund and 20% off your next order." Ticket closed in 90 seconds. Satisfaction survey: 5 stars. Metrics: Perfect. But here's what the dashboard couldn't measure: That couple will never use our service again. They'll tell this story at every dinner party for the next decade. Their friends will choose the competitors. The reality: One "perfectly handled" ticket. Lifetime value lost: $12,000. Word-of-mouth damage: Immeasurable. I started digging deeper into other "high-performing" tickets. Found dozens of these stories hidden behind green metrics. A birthday party disaster marked as "resolved." A business meeting catastrophe labeled "satisfied customer." Anniversary dinner failure tagged "case closed." Each one a perfect score in our system. All of them a brand-damaging story in real life. Yesterday, someone watched Sarah from the support team handle a similar call. Customer: "The flowers for my mom's funeral never arrived." Sarah didn't offer a refund. Sarah didn't close the ticket in 90 seconds. Instead, she said: "I'm going to personally make sure we get flowers to the service. What was your mom's favorite color?" Handle time: 18 minutes. Resolution metrics: Failed. Customer retention: Guaranteed for life. We're measuring efficiency when we should be measuring empathy. Tracking speed when we should be tracking stories. The best customer support doesn't show up in quarterly reports. It shows up in customer conversations five years later.