Addressing Customer Complaints Effectively

When I worked in hotels, I quickly learned that when a guest was truly upset, level 10 mad, about something seemingly small (no lounge chair at the pool, no ocean-view table, no room left in a snorkeling lesson), it was never just about that one thing. I called it the three-door rule: 🚪 Door One: The immediate complaint. The thing they’re upset about right now. 🚪 Door Two: The earlier disruption. Maybe their flight was delayed, their luggage got lost, or their room wasn’t ready when they arrived. 🚪 Door Three: The real reason. The thing that started the downward spiral. Maybe they’ve been stressed for weeks. Maybe this trip was supposed to be perfect, and nothing has gone right. Here’s the key, if you truly listen, empathize, and do everything in your power to help them, Doors Two and Three start to fade away. Their frustration isn’t just about the lounge chair, it’s about feeling unseen, unheard, or like their vacation (or moment) is slipping away. Exceptional customer service, in any industry—is about being committed to unpacking the real issue. If you can do that, you’re not just solving a problem; you’re turning a bad experience into a great one.

Quickly defuse upset customers with the Partner Technique. I learned this while watching airline gate agents. Some passengers try to board with oversized bags. It's the gate agent's job to prevent the passenger from boarding the plane with a bag that's too large to fit in the overhead bin. 😡 This conversation can feel confrontational. Passengers can get upset when they're about to board the plane and the gate agent pulls them aside to test the size of their bag in the baggage sizer that's next to the boarding gate. The Partner Technique prevents that anger. It works by convincing the customer you are on their side and want them to succeed. Here's a break-down: 1. Body language ❌ Don't stand face-to-face ✅ Stand next to the customer and face the issue together The gate agent walked around the counter and stood at the passenger's side. Standing next to a customer allows you to look at the situation together. 2. Partnership invitation ❌ Don't issue commands ("You'll have to...") ✅ Make a partnership invitation ("Let's...") The gate agent invited the passenger to help solve the issue by measuring the bag together. "Let's measure your bag and make sure it will fit in the overhead bin on the plane." 3. Reassurance ❌ Don't ignore simmering emotions ✅ Reassure the customer that you are on their side Some passengers were anxious about losing their place in the boarding line. The gate agent included a reassuring statement for those passengers. "You can right to the front of the line as soon as we're finished with your bag." The Partner Technique can work wonders. It's hard to be upset at someone who is on your side! ✍️ Where can you use the Partner Technique to prevent or defuse customer anger?

You know when you're dealing with an angry customer and you feel like saying "calm down"? 😬 That's a pretty natural reaction, but here's why it can actually make things worse: Telling someone to calm down is like pushing them into a corner. And what do we do when we're pushed? We push back! 🔙 In my de-escalation workshops, I use a simple exercise to demonstrate this: Partner A holds up their palm Partner B pushes against it Almost every time, Partner A instinctively pushes back! That's exactly what happens when we tell customers to calm down. They push back harder, getting more emotional or demanding a manager. So what's the solution? 🤔 Instead of pushing, we need to step onto the same side of the line as our customer. Show them we're not defending the problem - we're their ally in solving it! Try these phrases instead: "We want to get to the bottom of this as much as you do." "It sounds like you've had a frustrating time." "I can see your point on that." "If I were in your shoes, I think I'd feel the same way." "I'm so glad you contacted us about this." These validate the customer's feelings and show you're on their team. It's like extending a hand instead of pushing - and you'll be amazed at how quickly it can de-escalate even the most heated situations. Have you tried any of these phrases? What's your go-to for calming angry customers? Share your experiences below! 👇

You delivered a bad experience. What do you do? Service recovery, right? But how do you do it well? This is what I detail in the latest episode of the #CX Patterns podcast linked in the first comment. 🎯 The goal of service recovery is to repair, but also to append a new end to the experience, and rewrite the negative experience memory. With service recovery: 1️⃣ Be proactive 2️⃣ Act decisively 3️⃣ Prioritize a human touch. Let’s dig in. 1️⃣ Be proactive. If you think the customer had a bad experience, don’t wait to hear from them. ❓ But wait how do you know if they had a bad experience? Well, operational data - if you had delays in your service delivery – a slower than average drive-through line. Even just a sense that part of your experience wasn’t up to your usual standards, then reaching out to customers proactively to acknowledge that the experience might not have been up to your usual standards is a good bet. 💡 Because for every customer that didn’t notice and wouldn’t have noticed, I promise you there are far more who did notice, and who are frustrated or worse. ❓ And you know what they’re doing? Drawing new conclusions, and connecting dots into new patterns about your brand and your experience. The proactive outreach interrupts them before those conclusions are fully formed or all the dots connected. 2️⃣ Act decisively. 🤔 Use your judgment to determine what a reasonable, proactive offer of restitution is. Maybe it’s as simple as acknowledging that you weren’t at your best, and encouraging them to give you another try. If it was a bigger issue, then an actual refund, or make-good is required. The key is to do it without the customer feeling like they have to make a stink or threaten, or necessarily do anything. 3️⃣ Prioritize a human touch. This can be as simple as the language you use in your communication sounding like it was written by a human to be read by other humans. But an actual apology made by an actual person is great too. Humans are great at service recovery, they bring the emotional depth required for the assignment. 🧠 So remember: A bad experience is not the end of the story. ✍ You can rewrite the end through service recovery, and through an honest commitment to getting it right. 🥇 That goes better if you do it proactively, decisively and with as much of a human touch as possible.

Let’s say your support center is getting hammered with repeat calls about a new product feature. Historically, the team would escalate, create a task force, and maybe update a knowledge base weeks later. With the tech available today, you should be able to unify signals from tickets, chat logs, and social mentions instead. This helps you quickly interpret the root cause. Perhaps in this case it's a confusing update screen that’s triggering the same questions. Instead of just sharing the feedback with the task force that'll take weeks to deliver something, galvanize leaders and use your tech stack to orchestrate a fix in real time. Don't have orchestration in that stack? Start looking into this asap. An orchestration engine canauto-suggest a targeted in-app message for affected users, trigger a proactive email campaign with step-by-step guidance, and update your chatbot’s responses that same day. Reps get nudges on how to resolve the issue faster, and managers can watch repeat contacts drop by a measurable percentage in real time. But the impact isn’t limited to operations. You energize the business by sharing these results in a company-wide standup and spotlighting how different teams contributed to the OUTCOME. Marketing sees reduced churn, operations sees lower cost-to-serve, and leadership sees a team aligned around outcomes instead of activities. If you want your AI investments to move the needle, focus on unified signals, real-time orchestration, and getting the whole business excited about customer outcomes....not just actions. Remember: Outcomes > Actions #customerexperience #ai #cxleaders #outcomesoveraction

Stop fearing difficult conversations. Master them them with these 21 phrases: I used to run from conflict. Even with the best intentions, I’d freeze, shut down, or over-explain. Avoidance? It cost me trust. Clarity. Connection. I eventually learned: Silence doesn’t protect relationships — presence does. If you want to lead with heart, you have to show up— especially when it’s uncomfortable. 221 ways Emotionally Intelligent leaders handle tough conversations with grace: 1) Ground Yourself ↳ "Let me take a breath before we dive in" ↳ Regulating yourself regulates the room 2) Speak from the 'I' ↳ "I feel..." not "You always..." ↳ Language shapes energy 3) Ask, Don’t Assume ↳ "What’s most important to you here?" ↳ Curiosity over judgment 4) Honor the Human ↳ "I care about you—this matters" ↳ Connection before correction 5) Stay With Discomfort ↳ "This feels hard—and that’s okay" ↳ Growth often feels messy 6) Reflect Instead of React ↳ "Can I take a moment before I respond?" ↳ Response > Reaction 7) Use Silence Strategically ↳ Pause. Let things land. ↳ Space invites truth 8) Call Out Courage ↳ "Thanks for being honest with me" ↳ Vulnerability deserves recognition 9) Keep the Bigger Picture in View ↳ "Let’s remember why we’re here" ↳ Shared purpose realigns 10) Zoom In ↳ "What exactly are we solving?" ↳ Specifics defuse drama 11) Offer Reassurance ↳ "We’ll figure this out together" ↳ Confidence is contagious 12) De-escalate with Empathy ↳ "That makes sense—you’re not alone" ↳ Validation cools the fire 13) Ask for Feedback ↳ "How could I have handled this better?" ↳ Openness invites openness 14) Check for Emotion ↳ "How are you feeling right now?" ↳ Feelings often speak louder than facts 15) Break it Into Steps ↳ "Let’s take this one piece at a time" ↳ Simplicity calms chaos 16) Share What You’re Learning ↳ "This is teaching me a lot" ↳ Humility connects 17) Own the Outcome ↳ "Here’s what I commit to doing" ↳ Integrity builds trust 18) Repeat What Matters ↳ "Just to be clear, you’re saying…" ↳ Listening is leadership 19) Choose the Right Time ↳ "Is now a good time for this talk?" ↳ Timing shapes tone 20) Close With Care ↳ "I appreciate you talking this through" ↳ Endings leave lasting impressions 21) Keep the Door Open ↳ "Let’s keep this dialogue going" ↳ Safety means being available Hard conversations aren’t supposed to be easy. They’re designed to transform us. Approach them with presence (not force). ♻️ Please repost to promote presence over avoidance. 🙂 Follow Marco Franzoni for more.

Want to de-escalate frustrated customers fast? In Customer Success, it’s easy to panic when a customer is upset — a bug, a missed email, a delay in onboarding. But there’s one phrase that has saved me more times than I can count: “𝘚𝘢𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 — 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺.” It’s simple, but powerful. Because when a customer is frustrated, they don’t just want apologies. They want certainty. They want to know someone owns it. The mistake many CSMs make is overpromising in the moment just to calm things down… and then falling short on the follow-through. That’s how you lose trust. Fast. Instead, here’s how to build it back: 𝟭. 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 Let them know you're on it. Not just emotionally — tactically. 𝟮. 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 Tell them what exactly you’re going to do, by when, and what they should expect next. 𝟯. 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 Even if you don’t have a resolution, commit to an update. That’s what gives them confidence you’re actually driving this. 𝟰. 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 If you say you’ll follow up at 4pm — follow up at 4pm. Even a few minutes late erodes trust. Early is better. Note: Almost every time I send my follow up email exactly when I promised, the frustrated customer has responded with gratitude for my ownership and commitment to resolving their issue. This kind of discipline transforms tense situations into moments of loyalty. Because customers remember how you show up when things go wrong. Say what you’ll do. Do what you said. That’s how you turn a negative experience into a positive partnership. What steps do you take to build trust during an escalated customer issue? #customersuccess #playbooks

Stop Fixing Symptoms—Solve the Real Problem 🚨 Most businesses waste time fixing the same issues over and over. Why? Because they treat symptoms, not root causes. 🔍 If you’ve ever said: ❌ “We keep getting defects, let’s retrain the team.” ❌ “Our machine broke down again, let’s repair it.” ❌ “Customers keep complaining, let’s offer a discount.” You’re patching the problem, not fixing it. Here’s how top companies identify and eliminate the root cause: 🔥 5 Why’s – Ask “Why?” five times to drill down to the true issue. (Spoiler: The first answer is rarely the real problem.) 🔥 Fishbone Diagram – Map out possible causes (People, Process, Equipment, Materials, etc.) and uncover hidden culprits. 🔥 Fault Tree Analysis (FTA) – Work backwards from a failure to see how different factors contributed. 🔥 Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule) – 80% of problems come from 20% of causes. Fix the biggest pain points first. 🔥 FMEA (Failure Modes & Effects Analysis) – Find problems before they happen and prevent future failures. 💡 The difference between top companies and struggling ones? The best don’t just solve problems—they eliminate them permanently. What’s the biggest recurring problem in your industry? 👀👇

The Meaning of Communication Is the Response You Get In my previous post, I talked about resilience and adaptability. Today, I want to explore how Customer Experience (CX) and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) work together to create impactful and lasting customer interactions. As both a CX professional and NLP Master Practitioner, I’ve learned that it’s not just about metrics like NPS or CSAT; it’s about understanding the deeper reasons behind how customers speak and act, especially when they are upset or angry. This is where one key NLP presupposition comes into play: “The meaning of communication is the response you get.” In CX, it’s crucial to realize that no matter how well-intended our communication is, the true measure of success lies in the customer's response. Their reaction—whether positive or negative—determines whether we’ve succeeded in delivering a positive experience. Here’s how applying NLP principles can elevate CX, particularly when it comes to building rapport with angry customers: Active Listening: When a customer is upset, they often want to feel heard and validated. By actively listening—not just to their words but to their tone and emotions—we can better understand their frustrations. This approach shows that we genuinely care about their concerns, which can help defuse anger and create a sense of connection. Empathy and Validation: Acknowledging a customer's feelings is crucial. Phrases like, “I understand why you’re upset” or “That sounds really frustrating” can go a long way. This validation reassures them that their emotions are recognized and that we are on their side, working towards a resolution. Mirroring and Matching: Subtly mirroring the customer’s tone and body language can create a sense of rapport. If a customer is speaking passionately or with frustration, matching that energy (while maintaining professionalism) can help them feel understood. This technique can ease tension and create a more conducive environment. Offering Solutions: Once rapport is established, it is important to focus on solutions to ease the customer’s frustration. “Here is what I can do to fix this” helps shift the conversion from frustration to reassurance. Follow-Up: After resolving the issue, following up with the customer demonstrates that we value their relationship. A simple message to check in shows commitment to their satisfaction and can turn a negative experience into a positive one, strengthening loyalty. Blending CX frameworks with NLP insights doesn’t just improve customer interactions; it also enhances internal communication, leadership, and collaboration, nurturing a truly customer-centric culture. How are you applying human psychology in your customer strategies? Have you had moments where truly understanding a customer’s emotions made all the difference? I’d love to hear your thoughts! #customerexperience #strategicgrowth

You’re not losing customers because of budget. You’re losing them because your team stopped asking why. It’s like mopping up a leaky floor every day without ever checking under the sink. Every churn excuse sounds the same: “We’re not seeing the value.” “Our priorities changed.” “We need to revisit in Q3.” Most reps nod and move on, but you really need to stop, diagnose, and realize that churn isn’t the problem. It’s the symptom. And that’s what made Jess Ohlson's Sales Assembly session last week so sharp: Most CS teams are trained to respond to surface-level feedback - not to interrogate it. When a customer says they don’t see the value, that’s not insight. That’s a starting point. The real work starts with structured curiosity. Jess laid out two powerful tools to do that: 1. The Five Whys: A toddler-inspired but painfully effective framework. Ask “why” five times to get beneath the noise. It’s not about repetition...it’s about progression. Each answer unearths a layer of truth the customer may not have even articulated yet. 2. The Relationship Triangle: Every account challenge can be traced back to one of three breakdowns: trust, communication, or value. The skill is figuring out which leg is wobbly before you throw more meetings, more features, or more goodwill at the wrong problem. Here’s how it sounds in practice: Customer: “We’re canceling - we didn’t see results.” Why? “We didn’t get enough engagement.” Why? “The content wasn’t aligned to our audience.” Why? “We didn’t customize it.” Why? “We didn’t know we could. No one told us.” Aaaaaaaaaaand there it is! Not a product issue. Not a pricing objection. A missed expectation, caused by a communication gap...one that EASILY could’ve been corrected two months ago. Strategy isn’t about saving accounts. It’s about preventing preventable churn. If your QBRs, renewal convos, or executive syncs stop at surface-level symptoms, your churn will always feel random. It’s not. Go deeper. Start asking why. And stop mopping the floor. Fix the leak.