Handling Conflicts With Senior Client Stakeholders

I worked with a team that called on me to help a group of senior executives who were challenged when it came to ownership – but their leader insisted there was no issue with trust. As I debriefed these executives to learn what could be done differently to empower them, I heard from them that they were concerned about putting themselves out there to take action, ask for help, or admit mistakes. They also felt like they couldn’t have healthy conflict in meetings. All of this was rooted in one thing: TRUST. While many managers say they want to have open and trusting relationships with their team, leaders’ behaviors and actions can sometimes contradict this. For example, when a team member during our workshop found the courage to speak up about a conflict – right after I said we need to be comfortable having tough conversations – the leader became very upset and said, “Why couldn’t they say that to me one on one?” The leader’s reaction contradicted the lesson I had just shared: creating a safe space for sharing in a group setting can prevent conflict. The true measure of a person’s beliefs are what they do, not what they say. This team needed to define what trust means to them, and identify why they didn’t feel comfortable sharing mistakes and concerns. When choosing the right approach for dealing with conflict, consider these questions: > How much do I value this relationship or issue? > What are the consequences if I do nothing? > Do I have the time and energy to contribute? To create ownership, your team must feel safe to make mistakes, ask questions, share concerns, or push back. I recently used a strategy with the senior leadership team that experienced conflict in its ranks. I had my client create a code word that when one person says it, the other has to say the truth about how they feel and what’s on their mind. That team came up with the word “pizza.” Whenever someone says “pizza,” everyone in the meeting is called on to share their true thoughts about the topic at hand, without judgment or fear. Can you imagine the impact this could have on your team? PS. What would YOUR code word be?? - #lisarigoli #elementofchange #conflictresolution #psychologicalsafety #leadershipcoach

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲-𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲, but it’s inevitable. Yet, many don't know how to handle it effectively. Once I got curious about what causes conflict, I realized most are rooted on 3 sources: 𝟭. 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝘀𝘆𝗺𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗿𝘆: Conflict often happens when parties lack access to the same data. Their decisions clash because they’re not working with the same information. At Google Home, the e-commerce team and I didn't see eye to eye on a new service launch strategy. The economics impacted their channel performance, but after I shared the roadmap of future services that would offset the challenges, we aligned. With both teams accessing the same "data set", the conflict dissolved.     𝟮. 𝗣𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀: Sometimes, everyone has the same facts but different priorities. One side might focus on quality vs. speed. Having a common set of principles or philosophies helps drive alignment.     While leading the transition from G Suite to Google Workspace, we restructured features across 20+ apps. Each app team had different approaches, making alignment difficult. But once we agreed on principles—like target customers profiles per subscription tier—decision-making became much easier.     𝟯. 𝗘𝗴𝗼: Sometimes it's not about data or principles— it's personal. A party may feel slighted or passed over, leading them to derail plans (consciously or unconsciously). In such cases, escalation is often the best solution.     At Adobe, I worked to align product leaders on a strategy, but some personal grievances and turf wars slowed progress. Even with shared data and principles, the conflict persisted. Escalating to senior management helped resolve the impasse and get everyone on board. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁: 𝟭. 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱: Identify the root cause: data gap, philosophical difference, or ego? Approach with empathy, curiosity, and zero judgment. 𝟮. 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀: Share all relevant info. Ensure both sides work from the same set of truths. 𝟯. 𝗔𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀: Once aligned on facts, agree on guiding principles. Debate principles, not the issue itself. 𝟰. 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Collaborate on options, weighing pros and cons together. 𝟱. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝗼𝗰𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: Choose a solution, document it, and share with all involved. Include names and dates—this adds accountability and prevents reopening the issue. 𝟲. 𝗘𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗡𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝘆: If all else fails, it's likely ego-driven and escalation might be necessary—and that’s okay when done responsibly. Next time conflict arises, don’t rush to fix it or let frustration take over. Step back, identify the cause, and handle it methodically. #leadership #conflict