Handling Difficult Personalities In Client Meetings

I just watched a rep lose a HIGH 6 figure deal in the first 5 minutes. Not because of price. Not because of product fit. Because of tonality. Here's what happened: Prospect: "Hi, nice to meet you. Just finished walking my dog..." Rep: "Great. What business priority brought you here today?" Prospect: "Um... we're just looking at options..." Call went downhill from there. The problem: Some reps have only one communication style. For instance: Direct and aggressive. But 60% of prospects need a softer approach to open up. Here's the framework I teach top performers: 1) Read the prospect in 30 seconds Fast talker, "let's cut to the chase" = match their energy Slow speaker, relationship-focused = dial it down 2) Adjust your questions accordingly Instead of: "Who's the decision maker?" Try: "Typically when companies evaluate new solutions, it involves a few people. In your organization, who would usually be part of that process?" Same information. Completely different response rate. 3) Practice the uncomfortable Yes, it feels fake at first. Your brain says "this isn't me." But you're not being disingenuous. You're adapting your communication style to connect better. The drill: Record yourself asking 5 discovery questions at different tonality levels for 20 minutes daily. Level 10 = drill sergeant Level 5 = curious colleague Level 2 = supportive friend When reps master tonality… Discovery calls run 40% longer Prospects share sensitive information earlier Close rates increase 30%+ One of my clients went from 23% to 31% close rate just by softening her delivery on budget and stakeholder questions. You can have the best discovery framework in the world, but if your tonality shuts prospects down, none of it matters. Sales leaders: This is coachable. Shadow your reps' calls and listen for tonality mismatches. Role-play different prospect personalities in team meetings. The reps who master this skill connect with every buyer type and consistently hit quota. P.S. DM me if you want to install this in your teams.

Be comfortable pushing back on the client/prospective client. An engagement has to set you up for success, too. Examples: 1. The client wants a proposal but won't tell you the budget or where the money will come from. Potential solution: Suggest a range and get verbal approval that the range makes sense and that the client can find the money or knows how to influence the people who can. Spend time understanding the process for moving forward to a decision, including all people involved; if the client won't tell you or doesn't know, wait until he does. Why send a proposal that the client can't/won't approve? (Often potential clients ask for a proposal because it is easier than saying no, and often potential clients either have no decision-making authority or just need to collect a bunch of proposals before hiring the vendor they already want to hire). 2. The client says they need your help creating a full-blown strategic plan, but the team will only allocate a half day for a retreat to get it done. You know from experience that a lot more time is needed. Potential solution: Don't overpromise. Either get the client to agree to the time you need or suggest that you do a part of the strategy in the time available, like a SWOT analysis. 3. The client wants you to facilitate a meeting about a sensitive topic but won't let you interview any participants ahead of time. Potential solution: I would avoid this engagement unless I can interview participants ahead of time. Otherwise, there are too many risks/unknowns and it could be that the client wants to shift the burden of leadership to me. I never want to be the lightning rod. 4. The client wants you to coach all of his direct reports to work better together. However, you have already done an assessment and learned that the client is likely the real obstacle. Potential solution: Present this data and suggest that you coach the client first about how he can better engage the team and set the tone. If the client balks, happily move on. 5. HR wants you to coach a manager that they most likely want to fire anyway. They want you to document the coaching. Potential solution: Tell HR that you don't do "coaching as a last resort" coaching. You would prefer to coach managers that the company wants to keep and develop. 6. HR calls you to facilitate a retreat of senior leaders to determine the culture of the company. The CEO/founder isn't going to be there, even though he controls the company and is the primary shaper of the culture. Potential solution: This was a real case for me, and I refused to do the engagement unless the CEO was there or at least would work with me throughout to be sure this wasn't a "check the box" exercise. HR wouldn't let me do that and so I passed. Other colleagues of mine said they would have done this work anyway, because it could have led to more work to implement and involve the CEO. Thoughts? Let me know any other cases where it makes sense to push back.

I used to be a "yes" person with my clients, and this was making me hate my job. 🟢 Everything the client told me, I said yes to. 🟢I welcomed every detour during my check-ins with them. 🟢For every request they made, I quickly actioned (without considering the ask). And I did it because I thought that's what I needed to do to make them... happy. But then it got too much. I started losing control of my accounts and stakeholders; I couldn't keep up with the constant checking in on features, support tickets, and odd requests. My clients viewed me as their server, taking orders to run back to the kitchen. If you find yourself in this situation, it's time to reset. Here's how 👇 #1 You acknowledge what is happening "Hey, thank you so much for sharing so many insights with me on ways we can make the product more valuable for you. I've noted all of your requests, and I'll keep you posted if there are any changes..." #2 You remind them of their goals "...Today, I'd like for us to focus on our plan to get you back on track with your conversion rate. I know your goal is to increase it by 5% by the end of the quarter, correct?" #3 You lay out the plan and your role in it "Got it! To get you there, we'll need to align on our game plan. I've gotten the ball rolling by outlining some low-hanging fruit. These activities have worked well for another client very similar to you, and I believe we can get it done within 3 months..." #4 You get clear on what you need from them "If we put our heads down and focus on delivering this, here's what I'll need from you [outline needs]. Are we on the same page?" ---- That's how you can shift the conversation, but remember that you'll still need to keep it on track. To do that, don't be afraid to bring the plan up whenever things start going sideways again. --- Have you ever felt like a 'yes' person to your clients? #clientmanagement #worklifebalance #customerrelationships

Want to stop triggering defensive reactions in critical conversations? Brain science reveals a simple technique that's transforming how top companies communicate: As an executive coach, this is the first thing I teach founders who are struggling with critical relationships. Why? Because it's consistently the most powerful tool for transforming toxic communication into productive dialogue. When you're fighting with your co-founder, your brain's threat response system activates. This shuts down the exact parts of your brain needed for effective communication. But there's a way to keep those neural pathways open. It's called speaking inarguably - using only facts that can't be disputed. Instead of "You don't care about this company" (judgment) Say "When you missed our last three meetings, I felt worried about our partnership" (fact) The first triggers defense mechanisms. The second creates psychological safety. There are two types of inarguable statements: • External facts: Observable behaviors, metrics, documented events • Internal facts: Your sensations, emotions, thoughts ("I feel frustrated") I've seen this technique help to transform toxic co-founder relationships into thriving partnerships more times than I can count. Here's how to start: 1. Pause before responding to emotionally charged situations 2. Strip away interpretations, focus only on observable facts ("You arrived 15 minutes late" vs "You're disrespectful") 3. Own your internal experience ("I felt anxious when that happened" vs "You're stressing everyone out") 4. Practice radical honesty about your feelings (This builds trust faster than pretending to be perfect) The hardest part? Letting go of being right. Your interpretations might feel true, but they're just stories you're telling yourself. This is where inner work meets leadership. When you master this, difficult conversations become growth opportunities. Your leadership emerges naturally from who you are, not who you think you should be.

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

Have you ever felt like you're caught in a customer's whirlwind of frustration, unsure of how to guide the conversation toward a solution? I can relate, as I've faced similar challenges in trying to regain control without coming across as dismissive. To address this, I've developed a technique I call "snatch and flip." It's a straightforward yet effective way to acknowledge your customer's concerns while seamlessly transitioning into problem-solving mode. Here's how it works: Listen attentively to grasp the core issue. Identify the most pressing concern (usually what they mention repeatedly). "Snatch" that topic and "flip" it into a solution-focused discussion. For example, imagine a customer ranting about a rental car breakdown on the way to a family funeral. They keep mentioning their children's discomfort. Instead of getting lost in the details, you could say: "I'm sorry you're having such a frustrating experience. I don't want your kids and you to be stranded a moment longer. Let's get you back on the road..." This approach shows you've genuinely heard their concerns while swiftly moving toward resolution. Remember, the key is to acknowledge emotions before problem-solving. Skip this step, and you risk the customer continuing to vent. Imagine confidently handling even the most difficult calls, knowing you have a proven technique to guide the conversation. It's not about shutting customers down but channeling their frustration into productive dialogue. Would you be interested in my LinkedIn Learning Call Control Course?

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

If you want to close more deals: Stop fighting with difficult people. - Some buyers are aggressive. - Some sellers are stubborn. - Some people just make deals harder. But the truth is that: Most people aren’t difficult for no reason. I worked on a deal with a buyer who kept saying, “Delays kill deals.” He wanted everything, contracts, due diligence, meetings immediately, even nights and weekends. At first, I thought he was wrong. His urgency frustrated the seller and their attorney. It was doing more harm than good. I was ready to push back. But then I asked: Why does he feel this way? Turns out, his last deal fell apart because the seller dragged things out, and then picked another buyer. He wasn’t being unreasonable. He was reacting to past pain. Once I reassured him he was the only buyer, everything changed. The tension disappeared. The deal moved forward. And that’s when I learned something crucial: Difficult people aren’t always difficult. They’re protecting themselves from something you don’t see. Here’s what I took away: 1) You don’t have to like their approach to see where they’re coming from. 2) You don’t have to agree with someone to understand them. 3) You don’t have to prove them wrong to move forward. Success isn’t about being right. It’s about listening, adapting, and seeing the bigger picture. Next time you’re in a conflict, ask yourself: Am I reacting, or am I actually listening? It might just save your deal or a relationship.  

Don’t avoid the hard conversation. Use these 8 steps instead: Like many people, I used to avoid hard conversations until it was too late. When the stakes and emotions are high, and opinions differ, silence breaks trust. Tension builds. Trust erodes. Opportunities are lost. I learned this time and again. What if you could handle these moments with clarity and kindness? Use these 8 steps to navigate difficult conversations: 1. Ask to Understand: - Help me understand your perspective. - Can you walk me through your thinking? 2. State Only the Facts: - Here’s what I’ve observed [..]. - What’s your take on this situation? 3. Focus on Shared Goals - We both want [shared goal]. Let’s figure this out together. - How can we ensure the best outcome for everyone? 4. Stay Calm Under Pressure - I can see this is important to you. Let’s talk it through. - I’m committed to finding a solution with you. 5. Acknowledge Their Perspective - I hear what you’re saying. - It sounds like [paraphrase their perspective]. Is that right? 6. Address Misunderstandings - Can we clarify what you meant by [..]? - What do you think I might not be seeing? 7. Find a Path Forward - What’s the best way for us to move forward? - Here’s what I propose. What are your thoughts? 8. Recap & Align - We've agreed on [..]. Anything else to consider? - Let's check back in [specific timeframe]. Difficult conversations aren’t the problem. It’s how we show up for them that makes the difference. With the right approach, you can turn high-stakes moments into shared understanding. ➕ Follow me, Melody Olson, for Leadership, Tech & Career Insights. ♻️ Repost to help your network navigate difficult conversations with trust.

As leaders, we often have to deal with more than just managing projects...we have to manage people, and not all of them are easy to work with 👀 Whether it’s a toxic colleague, a difficult client, or someone who thrives on conflict, these situations can derail progress if you’re not equipped to handle them effectively... 🟠 One technique to help you with this is the D.E.E.P technique. ➡️This communication strategy helps you stay composed, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into unnecessary conflict. ❊ 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆: 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱: When you’re dealing with someone who’s pushing your buttons—especially a toxic personality—resist the urge to defend yourself. In the workplace, defending every decision or action often just fuels the fire. Remember, toxic individuals often don’t care about your reasoning; they care about controlling the conversation. As a leader, your energy is better spent on moving the team forward, not justifying every move. Practice detachment and stay focused on your bigger goals. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲: Difficult personalities thrive on drawing you into their chaos. It’s easy to get pulled into emotional battles, especially if it feels personal. But as a leader, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: Is engaging with this person productive, or is it a drain on my energy? Often, disengagement—keeping responses minimal and factual—takes away the power they have over you. By not engaging emotionally, you keep the conversation focused on solutions, not drama. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻: It’s tempting to over-explain yourself, especially if you’re someone who values fairness and clarity. But toxic individuals usually aren’t looking for understanding; they’re looking for control. Over-explaining only feeds that need. Keep your responses clear, direct, and to the point. You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification, especially when your leadership decisions are based on sound judgment. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲: One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a leader is that not everything is about me. It can feel personal when someone’s being difficult, but toxic behavior often has more to do with the person causing it than the person on the receiving end. Don’t take it personally. Detach from their negativity, and remember: your leadership is defined by how you manage these situations, not by their opinion of you. •••••• The more time you spend defending, engaging, and explaining, the less time you actually spend leading effectively. Ultimately, leadership 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁; it’s about knowing which battles are worth your energy and which aren’t. Difficult personalities will always exist, but they don’t have to shake your leadership 🙏🏻