Handling Difficult Client Conversations

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

It takes 7 seconds to lose a client's trust. (Sometimes with words that seemed perfectly reasonable.) I've watched smart professionals lose deals they deserved to win. Strong relationships. Perfect fit solutions. Gone in seconds. Because here's what nobody tells you about client conversations: Your words can either open doors or close them. After training 50,000+ client-facing professionals… I've heard every phrase that makes clients pull back. The pushy questions. The tone-deaf assumptions. The pressure that breaks trust instantly. 10 phrases that push clients away: ❌ "Do you have a price range in mind?" ❌ "When can we close this deal?" ❌ "Let me tell you why we're the best." ❌ "Are you ready to buy today?" ❌ "Who else are you talking to?" ❌ "I just wanted to check in.” ❌ "You really need what we offer." ❌ "Let me know if you have any questions." ❌ "This is a limited-time offer." ❌ "Can you introduce me to your boss?" Each one risks sounding like: "I care more about my quota than your success." Now 10 that build partnerships instead: ✅ "What outcomes are most important to you?" ✅ "What would success look like for you?" ✅ "Would it help if I shared how we've helped others?" ✅ "What's your timeline for making progress?" ✅ "What's most important when choosing a partner?" ✅ "I had an idea about your goals. Want to hear it?" ✅ "What challenges are you facing that we might help with?" ✅ "Would it help if we scheduled time to dive deeper?" ✅ "What priorities are driving your timeline?" ✅ "Who else should be part of this conversation?" Notice the pattern? Every better phrase puts the client's agenda first. Not yours. Because when you stop selling and start solving, everything shifts. Clients lean in instead of pulling back. Conversations flow instead of stalling. Trust builds instead of breaking. You don't need a personality transplant. You don't need to become "salesy." You just need to change your questions. Because the truth is: Your next client conversation is either strengthening a partnership or weakening one. Your words decide which. ♻️ Valuable? Repost to help someone in your network. 📌 Follow Mo Bunnell for client-growth strategies that don’t feel like selling. Want the full cheat sheet? Sign up here: https://lnkd.in/e3qRVJRf

Some thoughts on "Feedback." We have to get comfortable with listening to things that are hard to hear.   When you manage people or work with people as an IC, if you do it right, there should be an open flow of communication about what’s working and what’s not.   And that can be one of the hardest parts of your job – accepting and digesting critical feedback.   To sit, and seek to understand, and temper the very real human reaction to jump and defend yourself or protect your own self-perception.   That is the real work of creating trust within your team.   “That was hard for me to hear how XXX is impacting you and the team, and I am sorry that I did not see it sooner. I would like to understand more from your perspective on how you think we can address this gap/lack of clarity/etc. Are there tangible things that you think we can be doing / do better to address this? We can also work to piece together which pieces of this we can control, and which pieces are realities that we will need to build buffers around in the short term to clear the runway for the team.”   Because here is the thing – people will ALWAYS have critical feedback. And you can either create a culture where your team feels comfortable bringing it to you, or you can create a culture where they discuss it in Slack and texts behind your back. Regardless, the feedback WILL flow, that is human nature, and only one of those scenarios allows you to do anything about it.   A sign of a great people leader is not in building a team where everything is working for everyone all the time, but in developing a TRUE understanding of the state of the state of your team fed with insight directly from them. 

We all know people who can disagree in a way that has others listen, consider their perspective, and feel respected. We also all know people who disagree and blow up the room -- and their relationships. (I am usually coaching a few of those folks at any given time.) In my latest Psychology Today article, I explore how to become what I call a "respectful rebel"-- someone who knows how to voice dissent constructively, leading to successful outcomes and contributing to healthy relationships.. Here are five practices with examples of what to say (and what not to say): 1. Ground feedback in shared purpose Say: "Because I care about the client experience, I'm concerned about..." Not: "This approach completely ignores what our clients need." 2. Time your dissent wisely Say: "Before we finalize this decision, can I offer a different perspective?" Not: "I knew this wouldn't work." 3. Ask instead of attack Say: "How do you see this impacting our frontline team?" Not: "This will overwhelm our staff and they'll all quit." 4. Mind your tone Say: "I see it differently and would like to share my thinking" Not: "That approach makes no sense and won't work here." 5. Check your motive Ask yourself: "Am I speaking up to contribute—or to be right?" The difference between helpful disagreement and harmful pushback often comes down to intention, delivery, and timing. How do you know if you're a Respectful Rebel or a Rude one? Watch what happens after you speak. If people engage with your ideas, ask questions, and the conversation deepens, you're doing it right. If people get defensive, go silent, or the energy drains from the room, it's time to recalibrate. Link to article in the comments.

Most of our interactions—especially the difficult ones—are negotiations in disguise. In their book Beyond Reason, Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro highlight how success in these conversations often comes down to addressing core concerns—deep, often unspoken emotional needs that shape how people engage. These concerns are: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status, and Role. Ignore them, and you’ll likely face resistance, disengagement, or frustration. Acknowledge and address them, and you create the conditions for stronger relationships, better problem-solving, and more win-win outcomes. I’ve learned this the hard way. Appreciation A senior leader I worked with was frustrated by pushback from his team. The problem? He was so focused on driving results that he rarely acknowledged their efforts. Once he started genuinely listening and recognizing their contributions, engagement skyrocketed. The team felt heard, and collaboration improved instantly. Affiliation A new CEO walked into a fractured leadership team—siloed, political, and mistrusting. Instead of pushing quick solutions, she focused on rebuilding connections, creating shared experiences, and reinforcing that they were one team. The shift in culture transformed their ability to work together. Autonomy A department head was drowning in tactical decisions because his team constantly sought approval. By clearly defining goals, setting guardrails, and empowering them to make decisions, he freed up his time and saw his team step up with more confidence and accountability. Status A high-potential leader felt overlooked and disengaged. His boss didn’t give him a raise or a new title but started including him in key strategic meetings. That simple shift in visibility changed everything—he became more invested, more proactive, and took on bigger challenges. Role A VP was struggling, not because of a lack of skill, but because she was in the wrong seat. When her boss recognized this and shifted her to a role better suited to her strengths, she thrived. Sometimes, people don’t need a promotion—they need the right role. Before a tough conversation or leadership decision, check in: - Am I recognizing their efforts? - Making them feel included? - Giving them autonomy? - Acknowledging their status? - Ensuring their role fits? Addressing core concerns isn’t about being nice—it’s about unlocking the best in people. When we do, we create better conversations, stronger teams, and real momentum. #Conversations #Negotiations #CoreConcerns #Interactions #HumanBehavior #Learning #Leadership #Disagreements

You think getting tough feedback is hard? Try giving it! Every manager – every human being – struggles with delivering a tough message in a way that will be heard and yet not hurtful. There is a solution. It’s called the OILS approach, invented by Emily Field, a partner at McKinsey & Company, whom I am fortunate enough to bring to my class NYU Stern School of Business every semester. OILS guides managers through delivering feedback with four steps. ✴️ You start with an observation, literally. “Can I make an observation,” you might say to a team member, “I noticed you interrupted the client a lot in our meeting yesterday.” ✴️ Next, you talk about impact. “We have so much to learn from the client, and we could be missing critical information about their problem if they think the conversation is just a one-way street.” ✴️ The third step of OILS is the hardest. You have to listen. You have to give the chance for the feedback-recipient to respond. People want to explain themselves, and deserve that opportunity. ✴️ Finally, you turn to creating a solution together. You might suggest, for instance, that you come up with a secret signal if you see an interruption happening. Oftentimes, the feedback receiver also has solutions to offer, and that’s all for the good. Whenever Emily visits my class on managerial skills, my students leave smarter and wiser, and so do I! Giving feedback is never easy, but OILS greases the way. 

I just watched a rep lose a HIGH 6 figure deal in the first 5 minutes. Not because of price. Not because of product fit. Because of tonality. Here's what happened: Prospect: "Hi, nice to meet you. Just finished walking my dog..." Rep: "Great. What business priority brought you here today?" Prospect: "Um... we're just looking at options..." Call went downhill from there. The problem: Some reps have only one communication style. For instance: Direct and aggressive. But 60% of prospects need a softer approach to open up. Here's the framework I teach top performers: 1) Read the prospect in 30 seconds Fast talker, "let's cut to the chase" = match their energy Slow speaker, relationship-focused = dial it down 2) Adjust your questions accordingly Instead of: "Who's the decision maker?" Try: "Typically when companies evaluate new solutions, it involves a few people. In your organization, who would usually be part of that process?" Same information. Completely different response rate. 3) Practice the uncomfortable Yes, it feels fake at first. Your brain says "this isn't me." But you're not being disingenuous. You're adapting your communication style to connect better. The drill: Record yourself asking 5 discovery questions at different tonality levels for 20 minutes daily. Level 10 = drill sergeant Level 5 = curious colleague Level 2 = supportive friend When reps master tonality… Discovery calls run 40% longer Prospects share sensitive information earlier Close rates increase 30%+ One of my clients went from 23% to 31% close rate just by softening her delivery on budget and stakeholder questions. You can have the best discovery framework in the world, but if your tonality shuts prospects down, none of it matters. Sales leaders: This is coachable. Shadow your reps' calls and listen for tonality mismatches. Role-play different prospect personalities in team meetings. The reps who master this skill connect with every buyer type and consistently hit quota. P.S. DM me if you want to install this in your teams.

Own. Your. Mistakes. I was recently reminded of a moment with a client who’d gotten themselves into a bit of a mess. They’d missed a delivery timeline for a MAJOR retailer and shipped a batch of products that were not up to par. The retailer’s response? “You’re done. We’re out.” Now, when you mess up with a big client, the last thing you want to do is point fingers. But that's exactly what my client did. They panicked. Got defensive. And started blaming everyone and everything but themselves. So as we worked to troubleshoot, I asked, “Did you apologize?” Nope. “Did you sit across the table and say, ‘You expect quality products, on time. We didn’t deliver. We’re sorry.’” Again... nope. We prepped hard for the next conversation. And this time, my client went in and OWNED their error. They started with a full mea culpa. Acknowledged the failure. And (this is key) immediately pivoted to how they were going to make it right. You know what happened next? The retailer listened. And my client kept the business. Sometimes, managing a mistake in an important situation is not about explaining. Or defending. Or pointing fingers. It’s about taking a deep breath, looking the other party in the eye, and saying, "We messed up. And here’s how we’ll make it right." It's not necessarily about being humble. It's about prioritizing your customer's experience. Validating THEIR moment, THEIR needs, THEIR let down. And then addressing it head on. Providing the pathway forward. Rebuilding the trust brick by brick. And you can't do that if you pretend you hit a grand slam when really, you fouled out. Apologize. Make it right. Create the path forward.