Techniques for Resolving Conflicts Openly

Recently, a CEO client came to me frustrated. Despite having highly experienced leaders, mission-critical decisions kept getting sidelined. The elephant in the room was growing but no one was talking about it. The challenge? Slow progress because personal opinions were turning into Win/Lose. Here’s what we did to break the cycle: 1. Naming the Elephant We crafted a powerful opening statement for his next meeting: "Let's talk about the elephant that's been hanging out in the parking lot." But before the meeting, we established two critical agreements with the team: - These critical issues are a top priority that need resolution. - Clear expectations for open dialogue, ensuring that all concerns—yes, even the uncomfortable ones—are acknowledged and heard. As a CEO, true leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about building a team brave enough to hear and validate different points of view. 2. Generative Conversations Next, he introduced something I shared with him: Generative Conversations. Now, every statement must be followed with "the reason I'm saying this is..." This small shift opened up entirely new possibilities. The team discovered they could move beyond "all or nothing, this or that" thinking. Solutions emerged that honored multiple perspectives - what I call "both/and" thinking rather than an "either/or" deadlock. 3. Fist to Five Voting After setting the stage for open and honest discussions, he introduced a simple yet effective voting technique to bring clarity and transparency to team alignment: Fist: No way One finger: Need to talk Two: Have reservations Three: I'm okay with it Four: Sounds good Five: Total agreement The result? Issues stuck for months started moving forward. The team discovered that what looked like opposition was often just unexpressed concerns. Remember: Your role as a CEO or executive leader isn't to avoid conflict—it's to create conditions where necessary conflicts become productive. How many elephants are sitting in your parking lot?

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

Do you Avoid Conflict? If you're a leader looking to build trust and strengthen relationships in your team, don't overlook the power of effective conflict resolution. When conflicts are managed well, it creates an environment where people feel heard and valued. Here are some key points based on my experience: 1. Open Dialogue: Encourage team members to openly express their concerns. This creates an environment of trust and transparency. 2. Active Listening: Make sure everyone involved in the conflict feels heard. This reduces tension and makes resolution easier. 3. Win-Win Solutions: Look for outcomes that benefit all parties, reinforcing the idea that the team is working towards common goals. 4. Address Issues Early: Tackling conflicts sooner rather than later prevents them from festering and becoming bigger issues. 5. Follow Through: After a resolution has been found, follow up to ensure that the agreed-upon actions are being taken. 6. Be Neutral: As a leader, stay impartial. Taking sides can erode trust and break down team dynamics. 7. Offer Training: Sometimes, conflicts arise from misunderstandings or lack of soft skills. Offering training can mitigate future conflicts. By investing time in conflict resolution, you're also investing in relationship building, which leads to better teamwork, higher morale, and a more productive work environment. "Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." - Ronald Reagan Turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and unity in your team. #ConflictResolution #TeamBuilding #Leadership