Creating a Framework for Open Communication

One of the most common sources of conflict and stress in our professional and personal lives is unexpressed expectations. These silent assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and strain relationships. Brené Brown Education and Research Group, in her book ‘Atlas of the Heart,’ brought attention to this issue, stating “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Given this, I wanted to find an approach to navigating these unspoken expectations and came across a quadrant framework that I’ve adapted to use with my clients. The horizontal axis represents the degree of expression of the expectation, detailing how openly it is communicated. The vertical axis, on the other hand, represents the level of understanding of the expectation, capturing how well it is internalized by others. Here’s what’s happening in each area: Expressed and Understood (Quadrant 1): The ideal scenario where communication is clear, and expectations are mutually understood. Aim to be here by articulating your needs and verifying comprehension. Expressed but Misunderstood (Quadrant 2): You’ve spoken, but there’s a disconnect. Reiterate your expectations and ask for feedback to ensure understanding. Unexpressed but Understood (Quadrant 3): Rare but possible. If someone intuitively meets your unspoken needs, celebrate it, but don’t rely on it consistently. Unexpressed and Unknown (Quadrant 4): The most problematic area, filled with “stealth expectations.” Avoid this by speaking up about your wants and needs. Here’s how to utilize this framework: - Identify where your expectations fall in the quadrants. - Strive to express and validate your expectations, aiming for Quadrant 1. - Keep open dialogue about how those expectations are being met and be open to feedback. By applying this approach, you can foster clear communication, healthier relationships and a more balanced emotional state. Where do your expectations typically fall, and what can you do to express them more effectively?

The silent killer of your team efficiency: Closed communication. Closed communication loops can stifle innovation, breed resentment, and hinder progress. A 5-step plan to break out of closed communication loops: 1. Establish 'No Interruption' Zones • Set dedicated times for open discussion where all team members can share their thoughts without fear of interruption • Create a safe space by establishing ground rules, such as no judging, no interrupting, and respecting all perspectives • Encourage participation from everyone, especially quieter team members who may hesitate to speak up in typical meetings 2. Conduct Communication Audits • Regularly assess the effectiveness of your communication channels in promoting open dialogue and collaboration • Use anonymous surveys or one-on-one interviews to gather honest feedback about communication strengths and weaknesses • Analyze the data to identify patterns, bottlenecks, and areas for improvement in your communication processes 3. Implement 'Silent Meetings' • Begin meetings with a period of silent, written communication where all participants write down their ideas, questions, and concerns • This approach levels the playing field, giving everyone an equal chance to contribute without the pressure of speaking up in front of the group • Review the written feedback as a team, addressing each point and ensuring all voices are heard and valued 4. Encourage 'Active Listening' Workshops • Provide training for your team on the principles and techniques of active listening • Teach skills such as paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, and maintaining an open, non-judgmental attitude • Practice active listening in role-playing scenarios and real-world conversations to build trust and foster two-way communication 5. Analyze Open-Door Policy Effectiveness • Gather data and feedback to evaluate the true openness and accessibility of your leadership team • Track metrics such as the frequency and duration of employee-initiated conversations, the diversity of individuals who take advantage of the open-door policy, and the outcomes of these discussions • Use this information to identify gaps between the intended and actual effectiveness of your open-door policy, and take steps to bridge those gaps Remember, breaking out of closed communication loops is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and commitment from all levels of the organization. Start small, be patient, and lead by example. Join the 12,000+ leaders who get our weekly email newsletter. https://lnkd.in/en9vxeNk

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success