Tips for Overcoming Communication Blunders

Let’s be real. Not every conversation you have will be smooth sailing. You’ve probably been there—someone catches you completely off guard with a comment that feels like a subtle dig… or maybe not so subtle. It might come across as sarcastic or even insulting. Your first instinct might be to get defensive or shut down. But if you want to maintain your front-row presence, here’s your power move: Pause. Breathe. Ask a Question. When you feel that sting of a potentially insulting comment, here’s what I want you to do: Don’t react — respond instead, after taking a pause Take a deep breath — literally. This will instantly calm your nervous system.  Ask a clarifying question.  One of these works beautifully:  “That sounded like a dig—was that your intent?”  “That came across as sarcastic—was that what you meant?”  “That sounded like an insult, was that your intent?” Don’t ask all three. Pick one. And ask it calmly, curiously, and without sarcasm of your own. This simple, assertive question flips the energy. It puts the ball in their court. Now, they’re the one who has to explain, clarify, or walk it back. Why This Works:  You’re divesting emotionally from the interaction. Instead of taking it personally, you’re gathering information.   You’re showing up as a confident, credible communicator, not someone who gets rattled.   You’re giving yourself time to process, reflect, and respond instead of reacting.  Bonus Tip: Ask Them to Repeat It (The Right Way) Sometimes a comment hits you so hard or fast that you’re just… stunned. You have no words. That’s okay. You can always say: “I didn’t quite catch that—can you say it again?” Say it from a place of genuine inquiry, not aggression. There’s a big difference between calmly saying, “Can you repeat that?” and flaring up with “Oh really? Say that again.” Front-Row Takeaway: Difficult conversations will happen. But you can choose to meet them with calm composure.  Keep your front-row seat by:  Taking a breath  Asking for clarity  Staying curious, not combative Because in the end, your confidence, your composure, and your credibility are always within your control. Here’s to holding your power, one breath at a time. See you in the front-row.

In a recent team meeting, I realized I referred to my colleagues as "you guys" at least 10 times. It bothered me because 80% of my BD team are not "guys". They're badass saleswomen. This got me thinking about other unintentional phrases we use that either dilute or don't accurately reflect what we want to say. Here are a few common ones and suggested replacements: 1️⃣ Instead of saying "Sorry about that," try "Thanks for catching that!" This change of tone shifts the focus from negative to positive. 2️⃣ Instead of asking "Does that make sense?" try "What questions do you have?" This explicitly asks if further clarification is required, rather than assuming you haven't been clear. 3️⃣ Instead of saying "I just wanted to see if you ___?" try "Do you ___?" It's more direct and doesn't dilute whatever you're about to say next. 4️⃣ Instead of saying "Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if we ___?" try "I know you're busy. When you have a free moment, can we ___?" This acknowledges their time and provides a clear ask. It can be challenging to unlearn these phrases, but it's worth the effort. The words we choose are powerful, and even the subtlest of tweaks can have a big impact. #CoachedbyCouch #WordsMatter #MindfulCommunication

Hard conversations don’t have to be quite so hard if you understand how to approach them — and what to say. Preparation is important. Before the #conversation, give thought to what you want for the relationship. I once had a boss I didn’t fancy all the much (haven’t we all!) When I stopped to consider what I wanted for the relationship, I realized we didn’t have to like each other—but it was important that we respect each other. With that in mind, I started the conversation with a statement of mutual respect and a curious mindset. If you are approaching someone about a behavior, you’d like them to stop, this wording might be helpful: “(Name) I really appreciate X about you. There is one thing I’m curious about though. I’ve noticed you often do Y. Help me understand how Y helps you do Z.” A statement like this mitigates defensiveness and gives insight into why the other person does what they do. You can then share how the behavior impacts you and move to brainstorming a solution. My boss and I never warmed up to each other. But I did get her to stop looking at her watch & rolling her eyes when I arrived at the office at 9:30 am each day implying I was late and lazy. She had never before realized that when she left the office at 3:00 pm, I was still there. And would be until 7:00 pm. Preparation = managing nerves = mutual respect = an easier ‘hard’ conversation. #toughconversations #crucialconversations #courageousconversations