Tips for Managing Difficult Support Situations

Dreading that Difficult Conversation? Sometimes the most Difficult Part of a Difficult Conversation is getting it started. Here are 3 Techniques from 3 Thought Leaders. 1) Acknowledge Responsibility - Mel Robbins State your responsibility for the cause of the conversation - "I recognize that I should have shared these misses with you sooner" This is my most common go-to. In nearly all conversations I address how I could have done more first. This allows me to diffuse the other person's emotions. And as Mel puts it: Set a more level playing field. 2) "I am going to say this in a kind way, but at the same time I want to be 100% clear" - Josh Etress ⚡️ Josh directs us to - Say this, in a low, slow, and direct voice. Braces the person for what is to come. Add "I know this isn't going to be easy" at the beginning to prepare the person emotionally. I have used this a few times recently and it is a great starter. For myself and my nerves and the emotions of the person receiving. 3) "I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you." - Simon Sinek Allows them to be prepared and less defensive. And if you do not trust your skills for having the conversation, the next bit of advice is fantastic: "I am afraid of having this conversation because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing or it'll come out the wrong way and make things worse. So please be patient with me as I fumble through this but it is more important to me that I have the conversation and try to address this situation than to avoid it because this relationship matters to me and I want to go through this with you. Can we have this conversation now? Here I have acknowledged that the conversation may be clunky. I also ask for permission - to ensure that the person is ready for the conversation as well. By acknowledging these things up front, saying the wrong thing can be addressed immediately and not derail a conversation. In any Difficult Conversation, having the conversation is most important. And I hope 1 of these 3 ways helps you to get it started. Move towards Conflict. Make Growth happen.

Saying "this might hurt" is not the best way to soften the blow of a difficult conversation. 📌 The phrase "this might hurt" can be confusing and misleading. It can make the other person feel defensive or anxious, and it can make it difficult for them to hear what you have to say. Instead of saying, "This might hurt," it is better to be direct and honest about what you need to say. State the issue clearly and concisely, and explain how it is impacting you. For example, instead of saying, "This might hurt, but I need to talk to you about your work performance," you could say, "I'm concerned about your recent work performance. It's not meeting my expectations, and it is impacting our team." It is also essential to be open to the other person's perspective. Be willing to listen to their concerns and try to understand their point of view. This will help you to have a more productive conversation. Here are some ideas to help you deliver difficult feedback: Set aside time for the conversation. Don't try to have a difficult conversation when you are rushed, stressed, or hungry. Instead, schedule a time to talk when you can both be focused and present. Choose a private location. Have the conversation in a place where you will not be interrupted and where you feel comfortable speaking freely. Focus on the behavior, not the person. Avoid personal attacks or generalizations. Instead, focus on the specific behavior that is concerning you. Be specific and provide examples. Don't just say that the person is "doing something wrong." Instead, give specific examples of the behavior that is problematic, as you want to give them a chance to find a solution. Be open to feedback, even if you think your needs and expectations are precise. It is possible that your message was misinterpreted or that the other person has a different perspective. Be willing to concede their point of view and be open to hearing their feedback. They may have some valid points that you did not consider. If you realize that you made a mistake, apologize. Remember, difficult conversations aim not to hurt the other person. It is to communicate your needs and expectations in a way that will lead to an improved outcome. By being direct and honest and by being open to the other person's perspective, you can have more productive and effective difficult conversations. 🧙♂️ Imagine that you have a magic wand that can make one thing about difficult conversations easier. What would it be? #management #humanresources #personaldevelopment #partnerships

7 common communication errors in high stress conversations and what to say instead: ❌ "Always" or "never" - This will be received as accusatory. You'll get trapped in a power struggle about how often the other person is or isn't doing something. ✅ "Generally", "In my experience", "This is what I'm noticing" - focus on talking from your own perspective only. ❌ "But" or "However" - these words always negate everything that came beforehand - "I'm not racist, but..." See how it sounds? ✅ "And" - Both sides can be true. Despite how politicians frame issues, things don't always have to be one or the other. Taking a balanced view can show you're reasonable. ❌ "You just don't understand" - condescending/belittling - It goes against the philosophy of taking the time to understand the other person and their point of view. ✅ "I feel like there's a disconnect" - Instead, just bring up the dynamics of what's happening and let the other person respond see if they sense it too. ❌ "Calm down" or "Relax" - This is super dismissive of the other person's emotions and experience - like a parent scolding a child. ✅ "This is stressful/frustrating for you" - Feelings are never bad or good, they just are. Let the other person feel their emotions, and in the same way, you feel yours too. ❌ "I know how you feel" - Sounds empathic, but it's not. In fact, it diminishes their feelings and centers yourself instead. ✅ "That makes complete sense." - Acknowledge their world and reality. It's not saying you agree, you're only validating them and their experiences. ❌ "Why..." - Seen as accusatory or aggressive. ✅ "What.." or "How..." or "Tell me more..." - Take on a more curious and open tone, invite the other person to share more. ❌ Talking too much in general. - Many of us talk when we're nervous or we feel like we have to have an answer for everything. ✅ Silence - Learn to sit in hard moments, be silent, and allow emotions to just be. What you say or don't say is important in communication. In difficult conversations? It's even more important to be thoughtful and intentional with what you say. When you're reading this list, I bet it looks super obvious to avoid these phrases/words, but in the heat of the moment, we all tend to use them. Which makes it even more important to prepare yourself, learn to manage your emotions, and learn to reduce the other person's fight/flight/freeze response so they can engage in the the dialogue with you. What other traps am I missing? What phrases/words do you like to avoid? 👇 ------------ I'm Chris, and I work with leaders who want to create engaged and human-centric workforces so they can focus on the impact they want to have. Follow me for strategies and tips to communicate confidently. #supervisors #leaders #difficultconversations #empathyatwork #trust #communicationskills

Managing Difficult Conversations Original Content Creator: Harry Karydes (Give him a follow) --------------- Do you find yourself avoiding confrontation at all costs? Here's a better way: 🟢 Step 1: Setting the Stage ↳ Prepare Mindfully: Prioritize introspection to align your intentions and desired outcomes for the conversation. ↳ Cultivate Empathy: Step into the shoes of the other party to grasp their perspective and foster genuine understanding. 🟢 Step 2: Navigate Emotions ↳ Maintain Composure: Stay poised and composed, refraining from impulsive reactions triggered by emotions. ↳ Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and validate the emotions expressed by both people, creating an atmosphere conducive to constructive dialogue. 🟢 Step 3: Active Listening ↳ Listen Intently: Devote your full attention to comprehending the speaker's message without interruptions or distractions. ↳ Seek Clarification: Pose clarifying questions to ensure mutual understanding and prevent misunderstandings. 🟢 Step 4: Choose Your Words Wisely ↳ Use "I" Statements: Express your thoughts and feelings using first-person language to avoid accusatory tones. ↳ Present Solutions Positively: Frame suggestions in a constructive manner, fostering collaboration and mutual respect. 🟢 Step 5: Finding Common Ground ↳ Identify Shared Goals: Explore common objectives or values to establish a foundation for agreement. ↳ Highlight Mutual Benefits: Emphasize the advantages of resolving the issue for both parties involved. 🟢 Step 6: Manage Expectations ↳ Be Realistic: Set attainable expectations for the conversation's outcomes, considering all perspectives. ↳ Clarify Responsibilities: Clearly outline the next steps and responsibilities to uphold accountability and progress. 🟢 Step 7: Focus on Solutions ↳ Adopt a Problem-Solving Mindset: Shift the conversation's focus from assigning blame to identifying actionable solutions. ↳ Foster Collaborative Brainstorming: Encourage input from all parties to cultivate innovative approaches to problem-solving. 🟢 Step 8: Follow Up ↳ Reflect and Improve: Evaluate the conversation's effectiveness, identifying areas for refinement and growth. ↳ Schedule Follow-Up: Plan subsequent discussions to monitor progress, address any remaining issues, and ensure the implementation of agreed-upon solutions. 📌 PS...Remember, the ability to navigate difficult conversations is a skill that grows with practice and patience. ________________ Original Content Creator: Harry Karydes (Give him a follow)

Difficult conversations are a part of being a game producer. We all have different motivations, sometimes the difference is subtle, sometimes its not. Working through that with someone you need onboard can be a challenge. Here's some tips: - See if you can understand what their goals are, what 'success' looks like to them. If you can understand where they are trying to go, you are more likely to suggest and assist them in 'win/win' solutions. - Similarly, seek to understand the constraints of their environment. If someone is telling you they need to go left when you want to go right, it may not be a trivial difference of opinion. Perhaps they know something you don't about why left is the only viable option. - Don't ask leading questions trying to get them to do what you want. Be open and curious. If you have an opinion or perspective, state it. People generally hate being 'led by the nose' to the solution someone else wants, even if it's the right thing to do. - Recognize that getting to 'I disagree, but I'll support you anyway' can be a great place to be. You don't need everyone to agree, and sometimes that just won't happen. Getting to a place where they can trust you even though they'd do something different can be good enough. - Be willing to be wrong, ignorant, or vulnerable to your own biases. Acknowledging when you messed up, or didn't know something, or were negatively impacted by the constraints of YOUR world will help build trust. Humility can help you be respected, not just obeyed. - Finally, remember that in most cases we're trying to get to the same big picture goal. Keep that in mind, talk about how the various available options support and lead to that goal (or not). Common ground is helpful to identify, it allows you to face the problem together rather than each other apart. Hope these help you with some of your difficult conversations! #gameproduction #gamedevelopment #crucialconversations #difficult

Underrated skill as a #customersuccessmanager: having difficult conversations The difference between good and average CSMs might be the ability to relay difficult information to your customers. Done well, even bad news can be used to build customer relationships. So what’s the formula? Here’s our approach: 1️⃣ Be direct. Rip off the bandaid, and don’t sugarcoat it 2️⃣ Listen 3️⃣ Anticipate and acknowledge the frustration 4️⃣ Listen 5️⃣ Be prepared with proposed next steps 6️⃣ Listen 7️⃣ Focus on the path forward In these 7 steps, we’re focused on: transparency, trust, active listening, and preparedness. What else would you add? (By the way, this goes well beyond customer success) === #customersuccess #software #saas

Every major breakthrough in your life is waiting behind a hard conversation. Most people avoid them. And you shouldn't. Here's how I make hard conversations easy: ↓ 1. The Opportunity: Hard conversations are doors to opportunity. • Clarity on misunderstandings • Deeper connections • New business deals • New relationships Avoiding them keeps you stuck. 2. Facing Fear: The fear of conflict is normal. My first step was acknowledging my fear. I felt anxious and avoided confrontation. Then I realized: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but taking action despite it. 3. The Breakthrough: I remember a time I had to confront a difficult employee about basic expectations after consistently coming in out of uniform. It was nerve-wracking as a new, young manager. But the result led to mutual respect. Curiosity and seeking understanding lay a great foundation. 4. Framework for Success: Here’s my framework for having hard conversations: • Be present. • Prepare your points. • Approach with empathy. • Focus on solutions, not blame. This approach transforms conflict into constructive dialogue. 5. Growth from Discomfort: In my career, I've seen the biggest growth spurts after tough talks. • Negotiating better deals • Resolving team conflicts • Connecting deeper with family • Aligning with clients’ expectations Each uncomfortable talk strengthened my resolve and relationships. 6. Personal Story: One of my hardest conversations was with my wife about balancing work and family. It wasn’t easy, but it brought us closer and improved my quality of life. Remember, vulnerability fosters connection. 7. Practical Tips: Here are practical tips to ease into hard conversations: • Stay calm and composed. • Be aware of your emotions. • Listen more than you speak. • Follow up after the conversation. These tips ensure the discussion is productive and respectful. 8. Embrace the Challenge: Avoiding hard conversations keeps you in your comfort zone. Embracing them leads to growth, both personally and professionally. Challenge yourself to face them head-on. 9. Closing Thought: Next time you're faced with a tough conversation, remember: Everything you want is on the other side of it. Lean in, be brave, and watch your world expand. Let’s Connect: ↓ Got a hard conversation you’re avoiding? 💬 Had a hard conversation impact your life? 💬 Share your story or experience below. ↓ ♻️ Smash that repost button! ♻️ Follow me for more insights and tips! 🔔 Then hit the bell—never miss a post 🔔 P.S. Are you following Brain Apes yet? ↓

I've developed a personal toolkit to manage tough conversations with clients without compromising my peace of mind: advocacy scripts. These aren't just strategic; they're gifts to my nervous system. By preparing these responses, I decrease the emotional labor required in real-time discussions and ensure that I can guide our projects more effectively. I have a ton, so if you want to see more, comment below! ✨ Here’s why these scripts are crucial: ➡ Reducing Emotional Labor: They allow me to engage in necessary conversations without the drain of crafting responses on the fly under stress. ➡ Maintaining Focus: These scripts align my team and clients with our core mission of equitable innovation, ensuring that every decision supports this goal. ➡ Guiding Direction: They serve as compasses, pointing our project strategies towards inclusivity and integrity, even when the path is challenging. These scripts are more than just words; they are my daily leadership practice.

No one likes a difficult conversation. And I had to have one 2 weeks ago. Sometimes, with the teams I work with, I know I’m leading from the front - but sometimes, team members are still not hitting the target. I give my all to everything I do. And I expect those around me to do the same. I believe in hiring fast and firing fast. Decisiveness is critical to leading a fast-growing business. And if your feedback is falling on deaf ears - being wishy-washy about what needs to be done is not going to help. Here are the dos and don'ts when it comes to approaching team members not meeting expectations: Do: ✅ Openly Communicate ↳ Clarifying expectations and discussing performance issues fosters a crystal clear understanding of what needs to happen to achieve mutual understanding and build trust. ✅ Provide Constructive Feedback ↳ Don’t just tell your team what’s wrong. Offering up ideas for solutions can help those you are working with to identify further areas of improvement, and also encourages proactive thinking to achieve better results. ✅ Offer Support and Resources ↳ Assisting your team to push past a couple of small pain points can be one of the biggest steps to improve your team’s creative problem-solving. Making it over a few roadblocks together will not only boost confidence but also enhance everyone’s ability to achieve needed productivity - without the need for hand-holding in the future. Don't: ❌ Avoid the Issue ↳ Ignoring performance issues can lead to a pile-up of tensions - and when they inevitably come to light, this creates a negative dynamic and lowers team morale. ❌ Use Negative Language ↳ Harsh words can demotivate employees, negatively affect their future performance, and create a cycle of fear and resentment in your interactions. ❌ Force Unattainable Goals ↳ Unrealistic expectations can overwhelm employees, leading to stress and burnout. Hear out your team’s concerns about workload, and approach them with the same care you’d want to be approached with when you were in their shoes. So yes - I believe in hiring fast and firing fast. BECAUSE - I know with certainty that I lead with empathy and fairness. Having difficult conversations is about motivating those around me to do the same. What are your dos and don'ts when it comes to addressing performance issues? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

Hard conversations don’t have to be quite so hard if you understand how to approach them — and what to say. Preparation is important. Before the #conversation, give thought to what you want for the relationship. I once had a boss I didn’t fancy all the much (haven’t we all!) When I stopped to consider what I wanted for the relationship, I realized we didn’t have to like each other—but it was important that we respect each other. With that in mind, I started the conversation with a statement of mutual respect and a curious mindset. If you are approaching someone about a behavior, you’d like them to stop, this wording might be helpful: “(Name) I really appreciate X about you. There is one thing I’m curious about though. I’ve noticed you often do Y. Help me understand how Y helps you do Z.” A statement like this mitigates defensiveness and gives insight into why the other person does what they do. You can then share how the behavior impacts you and move to brainstorming a solution. My boss and I never warmed up to each other. But I did get her to stop looking at her watch & rolling her eyes when I arrived at the office at 9:30 am each day implying I was late and lazy. She had never before realized that when she left the office at 3:00 pm, I was still there. And would be until 7:00 pm. Preparation = managing nerves = mutual respect = an easier ‘hard’ conversation. #toughconversations #crucialconversations #courageousconversations