Tips for Facilitating Empowering Discussions

“Why don’t you agree with me?” Ever been asked that in a meeting? It’s a trap. 👉🏼 Let's not silence voices with bad questions. I’ve seen brilliant minds shut down in rooms where they felt cornered. > A junior engineer who had the answer, but held it in. > A nurse who saw the risk, but said nothing. > A woman who knew the solution but had learned not to challenge. All because someone asked the wrong question. Let’s break that pattern, one better question at a time. Here’s how: 💬 Silencing Question: “Why don’t you agree with me?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “How do you see it differently?” It shifts from defensiveness to curiosity. From ego to exploration. 💬 Silencing Question: “What’s your problem with this?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “What concerns or hesitations do you have about this?” It replaces judgment with psychological safety. 💬 Silencing Question: “Do you agree with what was said?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “What’s your take? What would you add, challenge, or change?” It invites contribution, not compliance. 💬 Silencing Question: “Why are you so quiet?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “What’s on your mind that we haven’t heard yet?” It opens the door instead of putting someone on the spot. 💬 Silencing Question: “Is that really important right now?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “Tell me more about why this matters to you.” It validates values instead of dismissing them. 💬 Silencing Question: “Does this make sense?” ✅ Dialogue Question: “What questions does this bring up for you?” It assumes confusion is normal and welcome. 👉🏼 Leadership isn’t about having the answers. It’s about asking better questions: the kind that pulls people in, not shuts them down. When people feel safe to speak, innovation flows. Problems get solved. Teams thrive. So let’s help others stop shutting people down and start unlocking their voices. 👉 Follow me for more tips on how to empower voices at work. #leadershipdevelopment #employeelistening #communicationtips #speakupculture #psychologicalsafety #inclusiveleadership #employeevoice #teameffectiveness #leadershipskills #hrleaders #learninganddevelopment #ergleaders #corporateculture #peopleleaders #assertivecommunication

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

💡 The Pre-Meeting Emotional Check-In: A Game-Changer for Leaders 🧠 Neuroscience Insight: Ever walked into a high-stakes meeting feeling stressed, only to realize your tone or body language unintentionally set the wrong vibe? That’s because stress triggers a cortisol spike, increasing heart rate, shortening breath, and leading to emotional hijacking. But here’s the fix—preparing before the meeting can rewire the brain for composure and control. 🔄 A Quick Story: I once coached a leader preparing for a tough conversation with an underperforming employee. Their instinct? “I need to be firm. They need to hear the truth.” But their stress was hijacking their tone—coming off as harsh instead of constructive. ✅ The Shift: A Simple Pre-Meeting Check-In 🔹 Three Words to Embody: Calm, Encouraging, Solution-Oriented 🔹 Mirror Practice: Rehearse a balanced, supportive tone: 💬 “I appreciate your efforts and want to help you succeed. Let’s work on a plan together.” 🔥 The Outcome: Instead of shutting down, the employee engaged in the conversation. The leader communicated with clarity, respect, and vulnerability, turning a difficult discussion into a collaborative problem-solving session. 🚀 CRAVE Leadership in Action: ✔ Communication – Leading with intention and clarity. ✔ Respect – Treating team members as valued contributors. ✔ Vulnerability – Being open to difficult conversations with composure. ✨ Your Turn: Before your next meeting, try this: Write down three words that describe how you want to show up. How does it change your presence? Drop your three words in the comments—I’d love to hear them! ⬇️ #DrAmin #CRAVELeadership #NeuroLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #EmotionalIntelligence

Tough conversations aren’t the problem—your questions are. 6 psychology-backed questions to build trust and influence others: 𝟭. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗰𝗵𝗼 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Just repeat their last few words as a question. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘮: “𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.” 𝘠𝘰𝘶: “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯?” People open up when they feel heard. I use this often when I sense hesitation. 𝟮. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Instead of pushing back, ask: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺?” This shifts conflict into collaboration. I reach for this in cross-organizational conversations. 𝟯. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝘄𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Rather than “𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦?” Try: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦?” People drop defenses when they feel invited, not interrogated. 𝟰. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Ask: “𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳?” I’ve seen this melt tension in high-stakes reviews. 𝟱. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?” A gentle prompt that gets people to examine their thinking—on their own. No judgment. Just clarity. 𝟲. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 End with: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦?” It’s how I turn conversations into outcomes. What’s one question you rely on to spark connection? These insights are from "Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Using the Power of Questions to Communicate, Connect, and Persuade" by Trey Gowdy and brought to you by Omar's Desk. PS: The quality of your questions determines the quality of your conversations. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

🔥 Radical leaders don't avoid difficult conversations. They transform them. The most courageous act in leadership? Not the big presentation. Not the tough budget call. Not the strategic pivot. It's sitting across from someone and speaking truth with kindness when every instinct tells you to run. I've coached C-suite leaders who'd rather resign than have a five-minute conversation about performance. I've lived this personally. The conversations I feared most became the moments that defined my leadership. Truth: Psychological safety isn't built on avoiding hard truths. It is built on how we deliver them. 3 principles that transform difficult conversations: 1️⃣ Lead with curiosity, not conclusion. "I noticed X and I'm curious about what's happening" opens doors that "You did X wrong" slams shut. This works across differences. When we're curious, we create belonging. 2️⃣ Honor the whole human. Before addressing what someone did, acknowledge who they are. The most inclusive teams remember: Performance is just one dimension of a multidimensional human. 3️⃣ Make it safe to be uncomfortable. The best leaders don't minimize tension. They normalize it. "This conversation might feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. We'll navigate it together." Your team isn't waiting for a perfect leader. They're waiting for a real one. 👇 What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? What might be possible if you transformed it instead? In Community and Conversation, 🧡 Jim P.S. My August calendar for "Courageous Conversations" has three spots remaining for leaders ready to build truly inclusive teams. Message me for details. Book an introductory meeting at the link in my Bio.

Your brain is wired to avoid conflict at all costs. Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t eliminate problems-it multiplies them. I’ve worked with countless first-time managers, VPs, and even senior executives who freeze when it’s time to: - Give tough feedback - Address poor performance - Set firm boundaries - Have that uncomfortable talk with an underperforming team member Why does this happen? Because biologically, your brain still thinks conflict = danger.  When faced with confrontation, your amygdala (the fear center of your brain) hijacks your response system. - Heart rate spikes. - Hands get clammy. - Your brain perceives the conversation as a threat, triggering fight, flight, or freeze.  This is why so many leaders either: - Overreact (aggressive, defensive, emotional outbursts) - Shut down (avoid the issue, sugarcoat, delay tough calls) The result? - Performance issues linger. - Low accountability erodes culture. - Leaders lose credibility. The best organizations-the ones that scale, retain top talent, and build elite teams-don’t just train leaders on strategy. They train them on emotional regulation and communication.  How Elite Leaders Stay Calm & In Control During Tough Talks  1. Hack Your Nervous System with Tactical Breathing Your breath controls your physiology. Try box breathing (4-4-4-4): Inhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec → Exhale 4 sec → Hold 4 sec. Navy SEALs use this under combat stress—it works in boardrooms too.  2. Reframe the Conversation in Your Mind Instead of “This is going to be a brutal conversation,” say “This is an opportunity to align expectations and help someone grow.” Shift from confrontation → collaboration.  3. Use Nonverbal Cues to De-Escalate Lower your tone. Slow down your speech. Maintain open body language. People mirror your energy—if you stay calm, they will too.  4. Replace “Softening” Phrases with Direct, Clear Statements - “I feel like maybe there’s a small issue with your performance…” ✅ “Here’s what I’ve observed, and here’s what needs to change.” Clarity is kindness. Sugarcoating only confuses people.  Why This Matters for Companies Investing in Leadership Training - 85% of employees say poor leadership communication causes workplace stress. (Forbes) - 69% of managers say they’re uncomfortable communicating with employees. (HBR) - Companies with emotionally intelligent leadership see 34% higher retention rates. (Case Study Group at Cornell) If your company isn’t training leaders on handling tough conversations, you’re losing talent, productivity, and trust. Want to build a leadership culture where tough conversations drive growth instead of fear? Let’s talk. #LeadershipTraining #ExecutiveCoaching #CommunicationSkills #LeadershipDevelopment #CultureOfAccountability #EmotionalIntelligence #HighPerformanceTeams

🔥 How to Handle a Difficult Conversation as a Leader 🔥 Difficult conversations are one of the toughest parts of leadership but also one of the most important. The key isn’t just delivering bad news and walking away, but staying engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. I recently wrote about this in my Harvard Business Review article, “How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn’t Meeting Expectations,” where I shared strategies to turn these moments into opportunities for growth. As an executive coach and advisor, I work with leaders navigating these conversations every day. Here are four things to keep in mind to make the discussion more productive: 👉 Set the stage for collaboration Approach it as a partnership. Start with alignment: “My goal is to provide clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development.” 👉 Encourage self-reflection Invite them to assess their own performance. “Looking back, what’s working well? What would you improve?” This helps shift the mindset from blame to growth. 👉 Deliver feedback with clarity Be specific and avoid ambiguity. Focus on observed behaviors, not assumptions. Instead of “You’re not engaged,” say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings, and team members think you are disconnected.” 👉 Reset expectations and look ahead Frame the conversation around the future. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “How would you handle this situation differently next time?” Difficult conversations don’t have to feel like confrontations. When approached with preparation, empathy, and a focus on growth, they can be transformative strengthening both performance and trust. Please share in the comments, what strategies have helped you navigate tough conversations? ⬇️ 📖 Read my full HBR article here: https://lnkd.in/eMuV9eWp #Leadership #Coaching #Feedback #FutureOfWork #GrowthMindset #Careers #Thinkers50 #Coach #Professor #Advisor #MG100 #BestAdvice #JennyFernandez

I struggled with difficult conversations. Oftentimes, outright avoiding them. It's not something that I was taught or modeled growing up. So it's been a journey. With intentional work and a desire to learn, I have gotten better. In fact, I am much better. These are some of the hallmarks that help me navigate difficult conversations. While things do not always go as planned, I view these principles as flotation devices that I use when I'm in rough waters. In this carousel, I share 7 tips, highlighting what to avoid and what to keep in mind. 1. Prepare with purpose & empathy 2. Start off with psychological safety 3. Share observable & specific behaviors 4. Name the impact & emotions 5. Invite their perspective 6. Co-create next steps 7. Reaffirm the relationship Even for people comfortable with difficult conversations, it does not mean they are skilled. Hopefully, this resource helps you along your journey. What's one hallmark you rely on when navigating difficult conversations? Share it below! *** ♻️ Re-post or share so others can lead more effectively 🔔 Turn on notifications for daily posts 🤓 Follow me at Scott J. Allen, Ph.D. for daily content on leadership 📌 Design by Bela Jevtovic

We’re living in a moment where division feels like the norm whether at work, in our communities, even around the dinner table. We say we want connection, creativity, and community. But too often, our conversations turn into debates. Our emotions take over. And our best intentions get lost in the noise. But leadership requires that we hold the space for mutiple varied perspectives. I recently led a workshop where that tension came alive in the room. It reminded me: wanting better isn’t enough. We have to practice it. So I paused... thinking, what we can actually do to make a difference. Here's what I recommended;  three small but powerful shifts that help us show up differently. Its not easy, but is is valuable. 1. Listen. Listening doesn't mean agreeing, it means respecting the other person. When we get curious about someone else’s story instead of defending our own, we make space for connection to grow. 2. Radically accept your emotions. Debate raises difficult emotiosn like defensiveness, fear, anxiety. These emotions are not wrong, but they are not helpful. Start with what @Tara Brach called 'radical acceptance'. Accerping our emotions honors them, without letting them get int he way.  3. Get curious, not critical. Opposing perspectives spark criticism. Instead of challenging someone, get curious. Ask “Why do you believe that?” instead of “How can you think that?” Curiosity opens doors that criticism slams shut. These aren’t just skills for better conversations. They are the foundation of a more human, more resilient way to lead. If you've had a connecting conversation, kudos !!! Let's hear about it. We need all the inspiration we can get. I’m sharing more practices like these on It’s Not an Either / Or, my Substack for leaders navigating complexity with courage. Join me there - link in comments and in profile.  Sharon Browning