Tips for Conducting Meaningful Performance Conversations

You might not want performance conversations to be personal, but trust me, they are very personal to your employees. Their livelihood is at stake. Their capability is in question. The consequences are incredibly high. My job is to stay calm and bring structure to it. Otherwise, it can become a tangled mess. Ideally, I’ve set clear expectations upfront. And they’ve been getting feedback from me at a regular clip. But sometimes, we must step back and ask, “Where are we?” Here's how I structure those conversations: 📌 My first question: "Do they see it?" Do they appreciate what’s needed to meet or beat expectations? Do they understand how and why they’re coming up short? If "No," you need to get them there. How? Asking them to self-assess can give me useful intel. You can also finesse this by getting others to provide feedback. Different words can often break through. If they do see it... 📌 "Do they want to fix it?" If the answer is "No," the path becomes painfully obvious. You can’t have people in the role that don’t want to meet it. And people willingly leaving their role is easiest. How? Finesse it by previewing the severance or exit package. Identify roles they might thrive in. Chances are they're frustrated, too. Or if they’re a great fit in the wrong role, you can discuss a trial elsewhere in the org. Finally, if they see it and want to fix it... 📌 “Do they know how?” If not, this is a great place to coach. Use questions to guide them in the direction you need. If they write the map, they tend to follow it. If they know how and are not improving, there are two possibilities: -> They’re not making the change. -> They’re making it, and it’s not helping. In either case, the fair choice for your team and for them is likely an exit. These conversations are always challenging. But they're nearly impossible when we don't have a plan. You can have conversations, or you can lead them. In moments of high emotion, clear is kind. If you found this post helpful: - Please repost ♻️ to help other leaders - Follow Dave Kline 🔔 for more posts like it - Subscribe to my MGMT Playbook 📕 (in bio) Join 30K leaders and get access to 75 practical playbooks + working templates for every challenging management moment.

🔥 How to Handle a Difficult Conversation as a Leader 🔥 Difficult conversations are one of the toughest parts of leadership but also one of the most important. The key isn’t just delivering bad news and walking away, but staying engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. I recently wrote about this in my Harvard Business Review article, “How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn’t Meeting Expectations,” where I shared strategies to turn these moments into opportunities for growth. As an executive coach and advisor, I work with leaders navigating these conversations every day. Here are four things to keep in mind to make the discussion more productive: 👉 Set the stage for collaboration Approach it as a partnership. Start with alignment: “My goal is to provide clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development.” 👉 Encourage self-reflection Invite them to assess their own performance. “Looking back, what’s working well? What would you improve?” This helps shift the mindset from blame to growth. 👉 Deliver feedback with clarity Be specific and avoid ambiguity. Focus on observed behaviors, not assumptions. Instead of “You’re not engaged,” say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings, and team members think you are disconnected.” 👉 Reset expectations and look ahead Frame the conversation around the future. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “How would you handle this situation differently next time?” Difficult conversations don’t have to feel like confrontations. When approached with preparation, empathy, and a focus on growth, they can be transformative strengthening both performance and trust. Please share in the comments, what strategies have helped you navigate tough conversations? ⬇️ 📖 Read my full HBR article here: https://lnkd.in/eMuV9eWp #Leadership #Coaching #Feedback #FutureOfWork #GrowthMindset #Careers #Thinkers50 #Coach #Professor #Advisor #MG100 #BestAdvice #JennyFernandez

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

I struggled with difficult conversations. Oftentimes, outright avoiding them. It's not something that I was taught or modeled growing up. So it's been a journey. With intentional work and a desire to learn, I have gotten better. In fact, I am much better. These are some of the hallmarks that help me navigate difficult conversations. While things do not always go as planned, I view these principles as flotation devices that I use when I'm in rough waters. In this carousel, I share 7 tips, highlighting what to avoid and what to keep in mind. 1. Prepare with purpose & empathy 2. Start off with psychological safety 3. Share observable & specific behaviors 4. Name the impact & emotions 5. Invite their perspective 6. Co-create next steps 7. Reaffirm the relationship Even for people comfortable with difficult conversations, it does not mean they are skilled. Hopefully, this resource helps you along your journey. What's one hallmark you rely on when navigating difficult conversations? Share it below! *** ♻️ Re-post or share so others can lead more effectively 🔔 Turn on notifications for daily posts 🤓 Follow me at Scott J. Allen, Ph.D. for daily content on leadership 📌 Design by Bela Jevtovic