Tips for Approaching Difficult Conversations with Psychological Safety

From a former Google Director on difficult conversations, negotiation, coaching and transparency. "Regarding hard conversations, I have one trick which I use over and over again. It's transparency and bringing people around to the same side of the table. For example, in the past, when I needed to have conversations with staff who were performing very poorly, I'd say: "So and so, it's not working out. We had this goal for you. You haven't hit the goal, and we've come to the end of the road." It's a terrible conversation. It's awful. But I got used to it. However, what I discovered is much more effective is to flip the conversation to something like the following: "Here's the problem that we're trying to solve as a group, and you know this. This is what the result has been. We're not getting there. What is your analysis of what's going on?" Usually, they start seeing things from your POV and the results are better in every respect, from the discomfort of the conversation to the results. Often employee will reflect on the issue and almost fire themselves. Or, if they shouldn't be fired, you may come out from the conversation like, "Huh, this person's actually really thoughtful. Had a great idea. We set this up poorly." "I think the same kind of approach works with so many things, i.e., just letting somebody else in on what you're grappling with. Then amazingly, there's limited conflict and they help solve your problem." "In each of these situations - conflict, management, hard lessons, leadership presence - they're all basically different UIs on top of the same underlying stack. That stack is built out of bringing the people into your planning and thinking process as transparently as possible."

Starting a difficult conversation at work can feel really intimidating and overwhelming. You know it’s necessary, but where do you even begin without causing more issues? 🤔 Thing is, having these conversations is crucial for a healthy workplace. As much as you may want to avoid them, we need them. The good news is, there are ways we can navigate these conversations in a healthy and productive way. So, here are tips to initiate challenging convos: 🎯 Prepare yourself. Before diving in, take some deep breaths to calm your nervous system and a moment to reflect on your goals for the conversation. What is your intention and the ideal outcome? What other ways could this turn out? How can you cope with an outcome that is different from your vision? Going in with a level of clarity in your own mind can lead to a more focused and effective discussion. 🕒 Choose the right time and place. Timing is everything. Find a private, neutral setting where both parties feel comfortable and are less likely to be interrupted. 🗣️ Be clear and direct. Clearly and calmly state the issue but do so with respect and understanding. This can help lower guards and reduce misunderstandings. 🤝 Focus on solutions. Approach the conversation with a solution-oriented mindset instead of just showing up with more problems to call out. I always like to have some ideas of my own and make sure I open the door to hear theirs as well. When you can listen actively to their side, rather than pointing fingers, it encourages a more productive and less defensive dialogue. 🌱 Follow up. After the conversation, check in with the other person. This can help show you’re committed to ongoing support and resolving the issue together. Difficult conversations are part of growth personally and professionally and help us to create a psychologically safe workplace. By approaching them thoughtfully, we can turn challenges into opportunities for understanding and collaboration. 👇 Have you had to start a tough conversation at work? How did you approach it? Share your experiences and tips! Creating norms around difficult conversations tends to come up in our Psychological Safety training programs. DM me to learn more! 🖤 Create a great day! #MakoMindfulness #MindfulnessTraining #StressManagement #PsychologicalSafety #TrainingAndDevelopment #StaffDevelopment

Most teams aren’t unsafe they’re just afraid of what honesty might cost them. A confident team isn’t automatically a safe one. Real safety feels like trust without fear of consequences. Psychological safety isn’t about being nice. It’s about creating an environment where truth can exist without punishment. Where people speak up because they trust they’ll be heard, Not just because they’re the loudest. Here’s how to build a space where honesty isn’t risky: 1/ Own your mistakes openly ↳ Normalize imperfection so it’s safe for everyone to do the same. 2/ Seek feedback on your leadership ↳ Leaders set the tone—go first. 3/ Celebrate curiosity, not just answers ↳ Questions reflect trust and openness. 4/ Make space for quieter voices ↳ “We haven’t heard from X yet, what’s your perspective?” 5/ Replace blame with curiosity ↳ Move from finger-pointing to finding solutions. 6/ Speak last ↳ Let your team share first, you’ll hear more honest input. 7/ Guarantee confidentiality ↳ Ensure ideas can be shared without fear they’ll be spread beyond the room. 8/ Welcome respectful disagreement ↳ Differing views often unlock better outcomes. 9/ Admit when you don’t know ↳ Vulnerability builds collective strength. 10/ Thank people for their honesty ↳ Appreciate candor—even when it’s uncomfortable. 11/ Set clear standards for respectful dialogue ↳ Consistency in expectations builds comfort. 12/ Include personal check-ins, not just status updates ↳ Connection on a human level deepens trust. 13/ Rotate who leads meetings ↳ Empowerment signals trust and builds confidence. 14/ Support thoughtful risk-takers ↳ Reward effort and bravery, even if the results aren’t perfect. 15/ Recognize progress, not just wins ↳ Growth deserves celebration, not just outcomes. Psychological safety doesn’t come from good intentions it comes from consistent proof that honesty matters more than perfection. ❓ Which of these will you try with your team this week? Drop a comment below. ♻️ Share this post to help others build more trusting teams. 👋 I post leadership and culture tips every day at 9:30am EST. Follow me (Dr. Chris Mullen) so you don’t miss the next one.

When a leader wants to create challenger safety, they need to provide air cover in exchange for the candor they're looking for. Air cover translates into emotional, social, psychological, economic, political protection. You've got to be able to provide that protection so that you can reinforce and reward their challenging behavior. Teams that don't have the air cover of challenger safety try to fake it by being quiet and nice. They don't have the conditions they need to contribute, but want to appear that they're participating, so they develop a superficial collegiality, one where they can't really debate the issues on their merits. That silence is expensive. In silence, what can you do? You just execute. There's no talk of innovation, and not only are you not innovating, you're not engaged, and some of the other hygiene factors that people are looking for at work start to erode because of that silence. Here are 5 ways you can reduce silence and create air cover on your teams: (1) Weigh in last. Speaking first when you hold positional power softly censors your team. Listen carefully, acknowledge the contributions of others, and then register your point of view. (2) Challenge your own decisions. Leaders make decisions that are right today and then wrong tomorrow. Openly discuss some of the decisions that you’ve made to demonstrate that even correct decisions aren’t correct forever. Help your team know that are willing to revisit old decisions, courses of action, and points of view. (3) Reward shots on goal. Reward your team members with recognition and enthusiasm when they attempt to challenge the status quo. Not all ideas and suggestions will have merit, but if you encourage the attempts, those shots will increase. (4) Ask for bad news. This may seem counterintuitive, but asking for bad news is a way of speeding up the process of identifying areas for experimentation and innovation. When there’s bad news, it allows us to challenge the status quo more easily because something is already broken. (5) Respect local knowledge. When you talk to one of your team members, view them as the expert. They have access to local knowledge, context, experience, and relationships that you don’t. Respect that local knowledge and be willing to solicit and circulate it throughout the team. Encouraging #psychologicalsafety isn’t easy; it requires a high level of emotional intelligence and a highly controlled ego. Arguably, a leader’s most important job — perhaps above that of creating a vision and setting strategy — is to nourish a context in which people are given air cover in exchange for candor. That’s how you create a culture of intellectual bravery.

Managing Difficult Conversations Original Content Creator: Harry Karydes (Give him a follow) --------------- Do you find yourself avoiding confrontation at all costs? Here's a better way: 🟢 Step 1: Setting the Stage ↳ Prepare Mindfully: Prioritize introspection to align your intentions and desired outcomes for the conversation. ↳ Cultivate Empathy: Step into the shoes of the other party to grasp their perspective and foster genuine understanding. 🟢 Step 2: Navigate Emotions ↳ Maintain Composure: Stay poised and composed, refraining from impulsive reactions triggered by emotions. ↳ Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and validate the emotions expressed by both people, creating an atmosphere conducive to constructive dialogue. 🟢 Step 3: Active Listening ↳ Listen Intently: Devote your full attention to comprehending the speaker's message without interruptions or distractions. ↳ Seek Clarification: Pose clarifying questions to ensure mutual understanding and prevent misunderstandings. 🟢 Step 4: Choose Your Words Wisely ↳ Use "I" Statements: Express your thoughts and feelings using first-person language to avoid accusatory tones. ↳ Present Solutions Positively: Frame suggestions in a constructive manner, fostering collaboration and mutual respect. 🟢 Step 5: Finding Common Ground ↳ Identify Shared Goals: Explore common objectives or values to establish a foundation for agreement. ↳ Highlight Mutual Benefits: Emphasize the advantages of resolving the issue for both parties involved. 🟢 Step 6: Manage Expectations ↳ Be Realistic: Set attainable expectations for the conversation's outcomes, considering all perspectives. ↳ Clarify Responsibilities: Clearly outline the next steps and responsibilities to uphold accountability and progress. 🟢 Step 7: Focus on Solutions ↳ Adopt a Problem-Solving Mindset: Shift the conversation's focus from assigning blame to identifying actionable solutions. ↳ Foster Collaborative Brainstorming: Encourage input from all parties to cultivate innovative approaches to problem-solving. 🟢 Step 8: Follow Up ↳ Reflect and Improve: Evaluate the conversation's effectiveness, identifying areas for refinement and growth. ↳ Schedule Follow-Up: Plan subsequent discussions to monitor progress, address any remaining issues, and ensure the implementation of agreed-upon solutions. 📌 PS...Remember, the ability to navigate difficult conversations is a skill that grows with practice and patience. ________________ Original Content Creator: Harry Karydes (Give him a follow)

🔥 Radical leaders don't avoid difficult conversations. They transform them. The most courageous act in leadership? Not the big presentation. Not the tough budget call. Not the strategic pivot. It's sitting across from someone and speaking truth with kindness when every instinct tells you to run. I've coached C-suite leaders who'd rather resign than have a five-minute conversation about performance. I've lived this personally. The conversations I feared most became the moments that defined my leadership. Truth: Psychological safety isn't built on avoiding hard truths. It is built on how we deliver them. 3 principles that transform difficult conversations: 1️⃣ Lead with curiosity, not conclusion. "I noticed X and I'm curious about what's happening" opens doors that "You did X wrong" slams shut. This works across differences. When we're curious, we create belonging. 2️⃣ Honor the whole human. Before addressing what someone did, acknowledge who they are. The most inclusive teams remember: Performance is just one dimension of a multidimensional human. 3️⃣ Make it safe to be uncomfortable. The best leaders don't minimize tension. They normalize it. "This conversation might feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. We'll navigate it together." Your team isn't waiting for a perfect leader. They're waiting for a real one. 👇 What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? What might be possible if you transformed it instead? In Community and Conversation, 🧡 Jim P.S. My August calendar for "Courageous Conversations" has three spots remaining for leaders ready to build truly inclusive teams. Message me for details. Book an introductory meeting at the link in my Bio.