Role of allies in challenging misogyny

The standard we walk past is the standard we accept. For over two weeks, I’ve been reflecting on a deeply disturbing case out of France involving Dominique Pélicot. He is accused of drugging his wife, Gisèle, unconscious and, over more than a decade, inviting over 70 men into their home to abuse her. The trial has now gone public, and post after post from women equally sickened and enraged has filled my feed. Gisèle, is facing her ex-husband and 50 men whom the court has been able to identify. The accused, aged between 21 and 68, include married men with children and others who hold ordinary jobs—a forklift driver, a journalist, an officer, a business owner. Ordinary men in extraordinary violation of trust and humanity. But the most haunting question remains: How many men said no? How many didn’t speak up, didn’t call out the others? Where was the allyship when it was most needed? This case isn't an anomaly. One-third of women globally have experienced sexual violence. Every day, in the workplace and beyond, I see the small, subtle forms of misogyny that build the foundation for these horrors. It’s time to stop dismissing the “harmless” remarks and inappropriate behavior. These moments create the environment in which abuse thrives. To my male followers and allies: Will you call out the everyday misogyny that often goes unchecked? Will you speak up when it matters most, even when it’s uncomfortable? Silence and inaction allow this violence to persist. True allyship means more than just saying you’re against it—it means standing up, calling it out, and not walking past what’s wrong. #MaleAllyship #EndViolenceAgainstWomen #StandUpSpeakOut #CallItOut #NoMoreSilence

I was recently asked how I thought we could build better male allyship, and I offered my two cents. It would have been a whole dollar if I had more time 😉 ... Allyship isn’t passive—it’s active, visible, and intentional. Male counterparts can be powerful agents of change when they recognize the privilege of their position and choose to use it to open doors, amplify #women’s voices, and challenge inequity in real-time—not just in meetings, but also in breakrooms, briefings, and promotional decisions. Women have shared stories where male leaders made a critical difference—not by “rescuing” them, but by advocating for fair treatment, equitable opportunities, and inclusion. That kind of #leadership builds trust and shifts culture. Here’s what #allyship can look like: ✔️ Listening without defensiveness. Male allies must listen deeply, seeking to understand women’s lived experiences even when they challenge the status quo. ✔️ Calling in, not just calling out. When a woman’s idea is ignored but repeated by a man and praised, an ally can speak up: “That’s what Melissa just said. Let’s build on her point.” Small actions like that reinforce respect and visibility. ✔️ Mentoring and sponsoring women. It’s not enough to offer advice. True allies advocate for women in the rooms where decisions are made. For example, “He didn’t just mentor me—he told people I was ready when I wasn’t in the room.” ✔️ Challenging the culture—not the individual woman. Some male colleagues unknowingly perpetuate bias through jokes, locker room banter, or assumptions about leadership style. Real allies address those behaviors with their peers—because silence is complicity. To #inspire male advocates, we need to reframe the conversation. Equity is not a “women’s initiative”—it’s a leadership imperative. Being an ally isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, practice, and purpose. When our male allies lead with humility and use their platform to elevate women, they help change not just careers—but entire cultures. Stay inspired. Be intentional.

Gender equality isn’t a “women’s issue”—it’s everyone’s issue. That’s why this month in our #WomenofBTP discussion, I had the privilege of inviting four male leaders to share their thoughts on how to be better allies for women in the workplace. What did I take away? 🌟 Mentorship & Sponsorship: We spoke about taking action by mentoring and sponsoring women, opening doors for career opportunities, and helping them thrive. They gave credit to past women leaders who had been their mentors earlier in their careers – which was awesome to see. 🌟 Advocacy and Leading by Example: Whether it’s amplifying women’s voices in meetings or challenging biased behavior, we talked about how critical it is to be vocal advocates when it matters. Leading by example inspires other leaders to follow suit. 🌟 Humility & Growth: What stood out the most was their humility—each of them had to reflect on whether they were doing anything “special” to support women. This is what makes these men great leaders – they are all allies without even realizing how much it matters to those of us watching. 🙌 Allies are essential to creating an inclusive and equitable workplace. Their support paves the way for women to rise, innovate, and lead. Thank you to Michael Bain Britt Womelsdorf Stef De Mulder Kenneth Stevens for stepping up and showing that allyship is more than just words—it's action! #Allyship #WomenInBusiness #Inclusion #Equality #Diversity #Leadership #WomenInTech #WomenofBTP #LifeatSAP Melissa Spires Michelle Buziak

Consequences. While much of the recent conversation has focused on the need for more high-profile positive male role models (something I’ve been advocating for years), I believe we also need to start seeing real consequences for those who not only continue to support and exhibit misogyny—but also act inappropriately. That’s why these two headlines from yesterday made me so happy. Understanding that there are consequences for unacceptable behaviour might just make people think twice before repeating it. And it also shows the world who these men really are. But the truth is, far too many men are still getting away with it. In research I conducted with Harriet Waley-Cohen, 40% of women told us there were men in their organisation whose inappropriate behaviour was widely known—but tolerated. Some of the stories we heard were genuinely shocking. The new Worker Protection (Amendment of Equality Act 2010) Act, which came into effect on 26 October 2024, places a duty on employers to take reasonable steps to prevent sexual harassment. But we can’t rely on legislation alone to drive change. For a start, many women still don’t feel safe or confident enough to speak up. A 2021 UN Women UK survey found that 80% of sexual harassment victims in the UK never report the incident through fear that it won't be taken seriously or might have a negative impact on their career. That’s why male leaders and allies have a crucial role to play—by proactively identifying inappropriate behaviour and calling it out. Start by asking your female colleagues:  Is there someone in our organisation whose behaviour everyone knows about—but no one addresses? If the answer is yes, work out what you can do to ensure there are meaningful consequences. Because without consequences, we’ll never create real change. What stops organisations from holding men accountable—and how can we shift that? #MaleAllyship #WorkplaceCulture #SexualHarassment #Misogyny #SexualisationintheWorkplace