Interrupting behavior in mixed-gender discussions

💔 “The Brilliant Woman Who Was Interrupted 7 Times in 5 Minutes” During a leadership workshop, one of my clients shared something that stayed with me. Her voice broke a little as she said: 👉 “I counted… seven times in five minutes. They cut me off. By the end, I just gave up speaking.” I watched her eyes as she spoke. They weren’t just narrating an incident—they were telling the story of exhaustion. She described the scene in detail: The sharp tone of the first interruption. The laughter after the second. The shuffling of papers as if her words didn’t matter. By the fourth, her shoulders slumped. By the seventh, silence swallowed her brilliance. That moment pierced me. Because she didn’t just lose her voice in that meeting—she lost an opportunity to influence. And the room lost the chance to hear an idea that could have shaped strategy. 🚧 The Obstacle Gender bias doesn’t always announce itself. It creeps in quietly. In how often a woman is cut off. In how her ideas are overlooked until someone else repeats them. In how she’s told—implicitly or explicitly—to “be patient, wait your turn.” And here’s the truth: brilliance shouldn’t need permission to exist. 💡 How I Helped as a Communication Skills Trainer We worked on three things: ✔️ #AssertiveCommunication – rehearsing responses to interruptions that were firm but professional. ✔️ Power phrases – short, sharp lines that create space and command attention. ✔️ #ExecutivePresence – voice control, body language, and the subtle shifts that make people pause and listen. ✨ The Transformation At her next boardroom meeting, she walked in differently. She wasn’t waiting for permission. She wasn’t hoping not to be interrupted. She was ready. She didn’t just speak. She owned the table. And the most powerful part? The very people who had once interrupted her… leaned in, took notes, and listened. 🌍 The Learning As leaders, we must recognize that #GenderBias in communication is not imaginary. It’s real. It’s silent. And it shapes careers every single day. That’s why assertiveness training isn’t optional for women leaders. It’s #Leadership. It’s #Survival. It’s #Power. ⸻ 🔑 For Leaders Reading This: Have you ever witnessed brilliance being silenced in your boardroom? The bigger question is—what did you do about it?

How can men amplify women’s voices in the workplace and beyond? As someone who has transitioned from female to male in the workplace, here are my top tips: ✨ Avoid phrases like "Of course I'm a feminist; I have a wife and daughters." These performative statements are counterproductive. ✨ Celebrate women in your workplace year-round, not just on International Women’s Day. Sponsor, mentor, and champion them for opportunities without prompting or thinking about brownie points for your appraisal. ✨ Mansplaining is when a man explains something condescendingly to a woman because he presumes she will not understand. Check yourself and others by politely interrupting when it happens. ✨ Call out anyone speaking over a woman in a meeting or social setting. I've found myself having to do this several times since I've transitioned, and it frustrates me that men remain complacent and let this behaviour continue. ✨ Male allies are important, but don’t host all-male panels on women's issues or International Women's Day. As a trans man, I refuse to sit on such panels. Women deserve to be at the centre of these events; they don't need another man speaking for them. It's crucial that any marginalised group - women, people of colour, or LGBTQ - be consulted on any issues impacting them. Anytime they’re not being heard, ask for their opinion. Remember that any positive action you implement sets a strong example and creates a ripple effect.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't! Let me explain. Yesterday, while working on one of my favorite modules, Communication & Presence, as part of a leadership training for middle managers of an FMCG company, something powerful happened. One of the teams -who happened to be all women- brought to light an issue that many women experience at work but often struggle to name. And it's none other than the double bind dilemma. Speak up too much, and you’re seen as aggressive. Hold back, and you’re overlooked. It’s a lose-lose situation. In other words, we hold women to different standards than men and they are penalized no matter how they choose to communicate. This isn't just based on personal experiences, it's widely researched. • Women who are assertive are 30% more likely to be labeled as "abrasive" in performance reviews compared to men • In group discussions, men interrupt women 33% more often than they interrupt other men If you think it's not the case, think again. This is actually how unconscious biases work. They are...unconscious! ⮑ If you're a woman, reflect on how many times you had to rephrase or reconsider your tone or even your expectations from your team, for fear of being judged as "too bossy". ⮑ If you're a man, reflect on how many times you've heard a woman assert herself in the workplace and thought, "she's too tough" or "she complains too much", when the same behavior from a male colleague wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow. This isn’t just about confidence, but about deeply ingrained biases that penalize women for the same behaviors that are rewarded in men. And it has real consequences: fewer women in leadership, fewer diverse perspectives in decision-making, and an ongoing cycle that keeps workplaces inequitable. So, what can we do? ⮑ If you’re a leader, watch for biases in performance feedback and promotions. Are women in your team held to different standards than men? ⮑ If you’re in a meeting, actively invite women’s perspectives and call out interruptions when they happen. ⮑ If you’re a woman, know that it’s not about you, it’s about systems. Build a support network, advocate for yourself, and push for change. Given that International Women’s Day is just around the corner, let’s move beyond celebration and into action. It’s time to change the conversation and the structures that hold women back. What are your thoughts? Have you experienced or witnessed the double bind in action? Let’s talk in the comments. 👇 #IWD #Leadership #Communication #GenderEquality

The best allyship techniques are often just good listening. Here’s what I mean: 🔁 Looping for understanding 🔁 In this listening technique, you communicate back what you’ve heard, and verify with the speaker (“Did I get that right?”). It’s not about parroting what was just said, but showing the speaker that you care about their side and you’re committed to mutual understanding. For allies, this technique creates safety for minority voices—letting them know that you will let them speak and strive to understand. ❌ Not interrupting ❌ Avoiding interruptions in conversation is a sign of respect that allows the speaker to be fully heard. In the workplace, women are still 2 times more likely to be interrupted. Not interrupting women or other underestimated groups is a form of allyship. You can take it a step further by pausing the interrupters and politely saying, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think she’s finished.” 📢 Amplification 📢 This meeting strategy has peers or senior colleagues amplifying the quiet or junior voices in the room. After a comment is made, restate the speaker’s name and idea, potentially adding on it: “I like Sierra’s suggestion to do THIS because…” Allies notice when good ideas are being ignored, interrupted, or commandeered, and amplify those voices. 🤔 Asking questions first 🤔 In negotiations, asking lots of questions of the opposing party is a form of information gathering and rapport building. The best negotiators are experts at leading with open-ended questions and following up with personal stories and additional questions that show they’re really listening. Great allies gather information about the gender dynamics in their workplaces by leading with curiosity, asking thoughtful questions, centering women’s voices, and believing them when they speak up. (This transfers to other underrepresented folks as well). 🎯 The goal is understanding, not winning 🎯 Keen communicators know that to make progress in any heated issue, the goal must be to understand—not to win. As long as we view gender equity as a zero-sum game, we will never see improvements for our wives and daughters. Allies understand that men also benefit from more gender-equal workplaces, homes, and communities—and will work to get everyone out of boxes. #alliesatwork #genderallyship

One of the communication challenges that my female clients wrestle with is how to “merge” into a work conversation that’s already happening — especially a conversation of male counterparts. In addition to our work exploring the mindsets and cultural norms that make interrupting feel like it’s not an option (which it is), we discuss enrolling allies in the meeting who will, at best, invite you into the conversation or, at least, notice when you’re trying to merge in. We also practice merging phrases such as: “Excuse me. I have something to add.” “I’m going to interrupt here. I want to share my perspective.” “Before you move on, I have something to share…” “Wait a sec; I haven’t spoken yet.” “Bill? I have something to say on this.” In your next meeting, please notice who might be trying to merge into the discussion — and invite them in. “Allie, did you have something you wanted to say?” #communication #leadership #womenleaders #DEIB #genderequity #meetings #allyship

If you are a woman, you are interrupted 33% more than a man in any given conversation! (Source: Forbes) This stat isn't from a blog—it comes from a 2014 study at George Washington University highlighting a startling truth! Women are more likely to be talked over, dismissed, or asked to repeat their point. I am sure most men reading this will say - oh! but that's not the intention! So let me say it out loud to you - it is frustrating—infact it’s demoralizing. And if it helps, it shows the person interrupting is rude or even mannerless! No, I am not here to bash a gender but lay out the truth. Recently, I faced a similar challenge at work. In a high-stakes meeting with senior colleagues, I felt the familiar pressure rise: the room filling with voices, everyone leaning in—but mine. I was cut off mid-sentence, twice. It was discouraging, but it also lit a fire in me. Here’s how I reclaimed my voice: 1. Paused intentionally. I took a breath, made eye contact, and used calm but firm language: “Excuse me—if I finish this point, it might clarify things.” It worked. 2. Cued support. I made sure allies in the room understood when interruptions happened—and they corrected the flow for me. 3. Outlined ideas clearly. I started with a brief statement, followed by bullet points. This structure reduced vulnerability to being cut off. 4. Asked for turn-taking norms. I helped propose a roundtable format for discussions—giving each participant space to speak uninterrupted. This isn’t just about speaking up; it’s about shaping respectful dialogue. If you're navigating spaces where your voice isn’t heard, remember this: Your ideas are valid. Your presence matters. You belong in the conversation. Have you dealt with being interrupted or overlooked at work? Would love to know what strategy you follow or how did you deal with a similar situation—let’s support change and create workplaces that truly listen. #workplaceequity #communicationskills #womenleaders #confidence

Have you ever been 'Manterrupted' ? Well, early in my career I have been manterrupted a couple of times before I realised how to deal with it. The phenomenon of women getting interrupted in work meetings, classes, and pretty much every kind of conversation ever by men whether consciously or unconsciously is so common that it has a name: "MANTERRUPTING." There are loads of high profile examples: •Taylor by Kanye at the VMAs. •Senator Kamala Harris by her colleagues during the U.S. Senator Intelligence Committee hearings. •U.S. Chief Technology Officer Megan Smith by Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt during a panel discussion. And, probably you during the course of your everyday life. Stopping #manterrupting requires a conscious effort to change communication habits and creating an inclusive environment where everyone's ideas are valued and respected. Here are some steps that can be taken to stop manterrupting: ✅Raise awareness: It's essential to acknowledge that manterrupting is a real problem that can undermine women's contributions to the conversation. Creating awareness about the issue can help both men and women recognize it when it happens. ✅Establish a No-Interruption rule , from anyone for that matter. ✅Support your female colleagues: If you hear an idea from a woman that you think is good, back her up. You’ll have more of an effect than you think and you’ll establish yourself as a team player too. ✅Women, own your voice: Don’t undermine your authority ,speak authoritatively. ✅Women should practice assertive body language: The high-power poses not only make you appear more authoritative, but they actually increase your testosterone levels – and thus, your confidence. Creating an environment where everyone feels heard and valued can lead to more productive and fulfilling conversations. What do you think? Follow Vinita Dalal✨ (Army Veteran)