Ideas for Facilitating Open Conversations About Feedback

One VP client used this 12-word feedback opener and their team member actually thanked them: "I noticed something that might be holding back your incredible potential here." That's it. Twelve words that transformed a dreaded feedback conversation into genuine connection. The VP had been putting off this conversation for weeks. Sound familiar? She'd rehearsed scripts, worried about reactions, and found every excuse to delay. But when she finally sat down with her direct report and opened with those words, something shifted. Instead of defensiveness, she got curiosity: "What did you notice?" Instead of shut-down, she got engagement: "I've been wondering about that too." Instead of resentment, she got appreciation: "Thank you for caring enough to tell me." Why does this opener work? 🎯 "I noticed" - Grounds the conversation in observation, not judgment 💡 "Something" - Creates curiosity without immediate threat 🚀 "Might be holding back" - Focuses on potential, not problems ✨ "Your incredible potential" - Affirms their value while addressing gaps The best part? This framework scales. Whether you're addressing missed deadlines, communication gaps, or strategic misalignment, starting with potential rather than problems changes everything. Your team doesn't need perfect feedback. They need leaders brave enough to help them see what's possible. What feedback conversation have you been avoiding? Try this opener this week. Notice how it shifts the energy from correction to collaboration.

🔥 How to Handle a Difficult Conversation as a Leader 🔥 Difficult conversations are one of the toughest parts of leadership but also one of the most important. The key isn’t just delivering bad news and walking away, but staying engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. I recently wrote about this in my Harvard Business Review article, “How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn’t Meeting Expectations,” where I shared strategies to turn these moments into opportunities for growth. As an executive coach and advisor, I work with leaders navigating these conversations every day. Here are four things to keep in mind to make the discussion more productive: 👉 Set the stage for collaboration Approach it as a partnership. Start with alignment: “My goal is to provide clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development.” 👉 Encourage self-reflection Invite them to assess their own performance. “Looking back, what’s working well? What would you improve?” This helps shift the mindset from blame to growth. 👉 Deliver feedback with clarity Be specific and avoid ambiguity. Focus on observed behaviors, not assumptions. Instead of “You’re not engaged,” say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings, and team members think you are disconnected.” 👉 Reset expectations and look ahead Frame the conversation around the future. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “How would you handle this situation differently next time?” Difficult conversations don’t have to feel like confrontations. When approached with preparation, empathy, and a focus on growth, they can be transformative strengthening both performance and trust. Please share in the comments, what strategies have helped you navigate tough conversations? ⬇️ 📖 Read my full HBR article here: https://lnkd.in/eMuV9eWp #Leadership #Coaching #Feedback #FutureOfWork #GrowthMindset #Careers #Thinkers50 #Coach #Professor #Advisor #MG100 #BestAdvice #JennyFernandez

Stop fearing difficult conversations. Master them them with these 21 phrases: I used to run from conflict. Even with the best intentions, I’d freeze, shut down, or over-explain. Avoidance? It cost me trust. Clarity. Connection. I eventually learned: Silence doesn’t protect relationships — presence does. If you want to lead with heart, you have to show up— especially when it’s uncomfortable. 221 ways Emotionally Intelligent leaders handle tough conversations with grace: 1) Ground Yourself ↳ "Let me take a breath before we dive in" ↳ Regulating yourself regulates the room 2) Speak from the 'I' ↳ "I feel..." not "You always..." ↳ Language shapes energy 3) Ask, Don’t Assume ↳ "What’s most important to you here?" ↳ Curiosity over judgment 4) Honor the Human ↳ "I care about you—this matters" ↳ Connection before correction 5) Stay With Discomfort ↳ "This feels hard—and that’s okay" ↳ Growth often feels messy 6) Reflect Instead of React ↳ "Can I take a moment before I respond?" ↳ Response > Reaction 7) Use Silence Strategically ↳ Pause. Let things land. ↳ Space invites truth 8) Call Out Courage ↳ "Thanks for being honest with me" ↳ Vulnerability deserves recognition 9) Keep the Bigger Picture in View ↳ "Let’s remember why we’re here" ↳ Shared purpose realigns 10) Zoom In ↳ "What exactly are we solving?" ↳ Specifics defuse drama 11) Offer Reassurance ↳ "We’ll figure this out together" ↳ Confidence is contagious 12) De-escalate with Empathy ↳ "That makes sense—you’re not alone" ↳ Validation cools the fire 13) Ask for Feedback ↳ "How could I have handled this better?" ↳ Openness invites openness 14) Check for Emotion ↳ "How are you feeling right now?" ↳ Feelings often speak louder than facts 15) Break it Into Steps ↳ "Let’s take this one piece at a time" ↳ Simplicity calms chaos 16) Share What You’re Learning ↳ "This is teaching me a lot" ↳ Humility connects 17) Own the Outcome ↳ "Here’s what I commit to doing" ↳ Integrity builds trust 18) Repeat What Matters ↳ "Just to be clear, you’re saying…" ↳ Listening is leadership 19) Choose the Right Time ↳ "Is now a good time for this talk?" ↳ Timing shapes tone 20) Close With Care ↳ "I appreciate you talking this through" ↳ Endings leave lasting impressions 21) Keep the Door Open ↳ "Let’s keep this dialogue going" ↳ Safety means being available Hard conversations aren’t supposed to be easy. They’re designed to transform us. Approach them with presence (not force). ♻️ Please repost to promote presence over avoidance. 🙂 Follow Marco Franzoni for more.

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

These 4 words can make anyone anxious: "We need to talk." The problem isn't having hard conversations: It's how most people approach them. I used to wing these conversations and wonder why they went sideways. Then I studied how the top 1% of leaders handle conflict. The difference? They have a system. Most leaders wing difficult conversations and create more problems. Smart leaders use proven frameworks that build trust while addressing issues. Here's the approach that transformed my leadership: ✅ Phase 1 - Foundation Setting: "Thanks for your patience. I've thought things through so we can have a productive conversation." This immediately signals you're not reactive: You are thoughtful and solution-focused. ✅ Phase 2 - Trust Building: "I trust you and that's why I'm being straight with you." You lead with respect, making it clear this isn't about their worth as a person. ✅ Phase 3 - Context Setting: "I want to be transparent. This impacts our success." Connect the conversation to shared goals, not personal frustrations. ✅ Phase 4 - Reality Acknowledgment: "This might be hard, but I want us to work through it together." You acknowledge difficulty while committing to partnership. ✅ Phase 5 - Problem Focus: "Something's affecting your results. Let's handle it together." Action-oriented language that invites collaboration. ✅ Phase 6 - Preparation Time: "Let's meet tomorrow to review data. Bring your take." Respectful timing that allows for thoughtful responses. ✅ Phase 7 - Solution Mode: "We've been falling behind. How can we fix this together?" Partnership language focused on forward movement. The result? Conversations that could have ended relationships actually strengthened them. Hard conversations need not take a negative turn. They are investments in better outcomes. What conversation framework will you try first? ♻️ Repost this to help leaders navigate difficult conversations strategically. 🔔 Follow Dr. Oliver Degnan for more strategies on Burnout, Productivity and Leadership.