How to Set and Communicate Personal Boundaries

Ever agreed to something and later felt resentful for saying yes? It's a common challenge, especially when trying to balance the desire to help others with our own needs and deadlines. In "You, Me, We," we explore how Abundance and Generosity, key to the #allymindset, must be paired with clear boundaries to prevent overcommitment and $resentment. Setting boundaries isn't selfish; it's essential for self-care and enhances our capacity to support others effectively. It's about saying no when necessary and communicating our limits clearly, ensuring we maintain healthy, respectful relationships at work and beyond. Remember, it's okay to take a step back and evaluate before committing – your time and energy are precious! here's how I've been practicing setting and communicating my own: 👎 Declining invitations due to prior commitments, a simple "no" is sufficient. ⏳ Taking time to consider opportunities before responding instead of a knee-jerk "yes", 🤷♀️ Being honest about feasible deadlines 💪 Making sure my commitment to go to Orange Theory is scheduled well in advance, allowing my work requests to fit around these vs the other way around! Note: Boundaries are personal tools for self-care, not constraints on others. Saying "I don't work weekends" sets a personal guideline, allowing expectations to be managed with others about your availability, and for you to make empowered choices in response to weekend emails. It's about respecting your own limits while navigating professional demands with flexibility. To identify your own boundaries, consider our "Look Up, Show Up, Step Up" framework: Look Up: Reflect on what balance means to you. Identify non-negotiables that support your well-being. Show Up: Communicate your boundaries with clarity and confidence, without expectation of others' compliance. Step Up: Honor your boundaries consistently, but allow yourself the flexibility to make empowered choices based on circumstances. How do you navigate the balance between supporting others while honoring your own needs?

I was recently having dinner with a friend who was telling me how she struggles with people constantly overstepping her boundaries. 🙅🏻 When I asked: "What are your boundaries?" she was stumped. Thing is, we often talk about the importance of boundaries, but most of us haven't defined our boundaries. What are the rules? If we don't know the rules, how can we expect others to know them? Here are 3 steps that I shared with my friend: 👉🏽 Step 1: Define Your Boundaries Before we can enforce boundaries, we need to define WHAT those boundaries are. What will you allow? What will you not allow? Examples: 🎯 I will not take meetings on weekends. 🎯 I will not say yes to things I don't want to do. 🎯 I need quiet 'me' time for at least an hour each evening. 👉🏽 Step 2: Say What You Need Share your boundaries, make your expectations clear rather than assuming people will figure it out, and address problems directly with the person involved. 👉🏽 Step 3: Set (and enforce) Consequences If you don’t enforce consequences when people repeatedly cross your boundaries, they’ll continue to do it. It's like having a DO NOT TRESPASS sign up, but still letting people trespass. Decide what the consequences will be and enforce it. Did you find these tips helpful? Let me know in the comments! What other tips do you have? Xo Amy #boundaries #settingboundaries #boundarysetting #motivation #inspiration #wednesdaywisdom #sayingno #speakingup #amyyip #amyyipcoaching

Lets talk about boundaries.... My first manager at Salesforce Jennifer Griffith told me - whatever you do, assert boundaries with your time here because a company in hyper growth mode will take every minute of time you are willing to give. And it was some of the best advice I have received because every time I found myself burnt out at work it, was because I had leaky boundaries around my time and the activities I valued. It's scary to assert boundaries at work - for fear of being left behind by the person willing to give up all of their time for their job. But if you spend time in a place long enough - you see the people who give up everything for work eventually burn out - because you can only pour from an empty cup for so long. Boundaries say a lot about a person..... 1 - Strong self-worth and self-motivation - If you can't commit to yourself and your own needs, you likely struggle to do it for other people. 2 - Energy and Motivation - If you have a strong commitment to the things in your life that fill your cup it means you are showing up to work with energy. 3 - Communication and confidence - Communicating boundaries is uncomfortable and one of the keys to growing is a willingness to have tough conversations. 4 - Work smarter not harder - You own your calendar, it doesn't own you - by having a very clear amount of time to work around your non-negotiables, it forces you to learn how to work smarter and organize your day for efficiency. And as a leader - demonstrating commitment to your personal boundaries gives other people permission to do the same. This creates a supportive and positive work culture. If you are burnt out - it's time to assert your boundaries. Start by committing to 3 things that you know energize you. Add them to your calendar and DO NOT MOVE THEM under any circumstances for 30 days. And set a reminder in 30 days to check in with yourself and see if your level of burn out has changed.

I used to suck at setting boundaries. And admittedly, I still find it challenging sometimes. But I’ve gotten better at it and today, I wanted to share a few hacks that have helped me. But let’s pause for a minute. In our society, so much of our value as women is equated with how much we give to others and how much we continue to sacrifice: ❌ self-care (because of course that’s selfish) ❌ unpaid caregiving (“but you love being a mom!”) ❌ unpaid time investments (“can I pick your brain [and benefit from your expertise] for free?”) ❌ unpaid speaking gigs (“but you are so passionate about this topic”) And when we attempt to set boundaries and ask for what we deserve, we are often met with either disbelief or hostility. Classic weaponization of women’s altruism. Or how my Internet friend, the amazing Erin Gallagher puts it: as women we often pay the passion tax. I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to establish a personal brand that’s constantly attracting opportunities. I could be a full-time networker or advisor. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. I have bills to pay. And I’m busy building generational wealth. I can’t say yes to everyone who’s asking me to have a (virtual) coffee chat. Or pick my brain. 🧠 Money talks. Yes, “No.” is a full sentence. But you’re still dealing with real people, with real feelings on the other side. And a lot of societal conditioning that still makes many women - including myself - feel like we don’t want to come across as too assertive or rude. Here are two phrases I’ve started incorporating into my life: 1️⃣ “Thank you for reaching out. I’m currently not adding to my calendar until [February/the new year/next quarter].” Inspired by ✨ Lolita Taub whom I’ve been trying to get on my podcast twice now but always seem to catch at a bad time. I applaud her for setting boundaries. 👏 2️⃣ “This is a season where I have to choose between [self-care/wrapping up high-priority projects/family] and amazing opportunities like yours, and I have to protect my yeses for my loved ones.” Inspired by Jenna Kutcher who has built a multi-million dollar business while fiercely protecting her family time. Whenever I hit “send” on these types of messages, I still feel a little uncomfortable. But recently, I’ve started receiving more and more messages (from women) telling me they respect a woman who’s setting boundaries for herself. I think most women crave boundaries. But they’re scared of being ostracized. So I challenge YOU: Whenever you reach out to a woman next and she’s either asking to be paid (fairly) or declining an invitation, before you start forming an unfavorable opinion of her, ask yourself if that opinion is actually warranted or a result of your unconscious gender bias. #settingboundaries #genderbias #genderequality #womenatwork #womensupportingwomen #femaleeconomy

I’ve learned that setting boundaries at work, while hard, is a form of self-protection – and key to optimizing performance. I have worked at places where the idea of self-protection often elicited an eye-roll; hard-charging, demanding of always more, driving places. If you feel as though you’re constantly drinking from a firehose, then it is up to you to communicate to whomever you need to -  (the Founder, the CEO, your boss, your colleagues, etc.), that you are turning off the spigot. Setting boundaries is a way of taking a beat to assess how you feel, so you can then communicate from a place of emotional distance. Without emotional distance, you will experience burnout, which will spread into every facet of your life. And if you burn out, the hose won’t help you, because you are the one on fire. Find the liminal space between what you feel and what is happening. Take a beat. Set up a conversation with people who need to know what is and what is not possible for you - right now in your work life. From there, you can make a plan to move forward, and if that means somewhere else, so be it. If you don’t know which direction to go, begin with a list of resources – therapists, trusted friends, or colleagues. Seek out a mentor or if possible - hire a coach. But know that without emotional distance, you will feed the fire because what you focus on, is what you give power to, and if that is overwhelming, then burnout is around the corner. Protect yourself. Set boundaries. Take a beat. Don’t fuel the fire. Then you can optimize performance. #mindsetcoaching, #performance #emotionalwellness

As I sit here reflecting on my career journey, I'm reminded of a pivotal moment that forever changed the way I approached work-life balance. I glanced at the clock—4:30 pm. My colleagues were still immersed in their tasks, but I was already packing up. Why? Because I was determined to beat the traffic and be home in time for dinner with my family. 👨👩👧👦 Weekends? Those were sacred—reserved for family and recharging my spirit. 🌳 You might wonder, wasn't I worried this would impact my career or tarnish my reputation? The truth is, I wasn't. I knew I delivered results on time as required. 💼 My day started at the break of dawn, up at 5 am, and in the office by 6. By 9 am, crucial decisions were made, and my desk was clear of pending tasks. 🌅🕕 Breaks? Hardly. Working lunches became the norm. Each evening at home, I’d spend a focused 30 minutes preparing for the next day, ensuring I was in bed by 10 pm, ready to tackle the morning with a sharp mind and a rested body. 💤📋 You can have it all if you excel at what you do, set firm boundaries, and communicate what you will and won't do. 🗣️ I never shirked responsibilities, refused work, or let my team down. I simply found a way to get things done that honored both my career and personal life. 🏆 I don't just get work done. I get work done my way. 💯 How You Too Can Achieve Life-Work Balance: ➡️ Set clear boundaries: Define your working hours and stick to them. ➡️ Communicate these boundaries with your team and family. ➡️ Prioritize tasks: Focus on high-impact tasks first thing in the morning when your energy levels are highest. ➡️ Plan your day: Spend a few minutes each evening planning for the next day. It helps you stay organized and reduces stress. Actions you can take today: ➜ Identify your top 3 priorities for tomorrow: Write them down and tackle them first thing in the morning. ➜ Schedule a family activity: Make time for your loved ones this weekend and fully disconnect from work. ➜ Take a break: Use your vacation days. Rest and recharge to come back even more productive. If we haven't met: I'm Rudy Malle a clinical researcher, avid entrepreneur, podcaster, storyteller, and career adviser. Let's #connect! #CareerBalance #WorkLifeIntegration #ProductivityHacks #FamilyFirst #ProfessionalGrowth #ClinicalResearch #tgif #20daylinkedinchallengewithhaoma #CareerAdvice #ConnectWithMe #MyWay

Setting boundaries is vital. It helps us feel at peace. I remember when I started my first internship at a state quasi agency, I fell into the mind trap of overworking to earn my spot after letting my team know I had Autism. I’d even receive late evening requests from my supervisor such as: “Joel. Take a look at the agenda for our upcoming meeting this Friday.” I would take on this requests in the beginning out of this mindset to do these requests to show my worth to them until I realized: ⭐️I was hired on for a reason. They already saw value in me. I can make strong impact in a balanced sustainable way as my mental health is a queen to be taken care of too. And so I decided to advocate boundaries by stating this: “Thank you for bringing this reminder to my attention. Going forward you can also send leave this reminder in my outlook inbox😊.” ⭐️Followed by setting up an automated email that would emphasize scheduling check ins, reminders during these proposed times. Putting down boundaries at work feels challenging to do especially in a fast-paced environment where we feel obligated to get a project done quick. Yet it is the greatest grace we can give to ourselves in the long run. As I learned that saying yes to everything will just keep that expectation to unsustainably overwork alive. P.S - How do you set boundaries

Boundaries aren't a luxury; they're a necessity in today's #corporatetech world. Unfortunately, they're virtually non-existent in this space unless we force them. It's a fast-paced and challenging environment, and as you take on more senior roles, it becomes even more demanding. I think technology is beautiful. It keeps us close and connected, and it's literally changing lives for the better. But if we don't adapt how we use technology, it will also worsen our lives, damaging our health and overall well-being. It already has for many. 𝗪𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀. *𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘗𝘢𝘥 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 (𝘖𝘯 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘉𝘠 𝘢𝘱𝘱 - 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘔𝘰𝘮 😆 )* Many of us in tech, especially high-achieving women, have a hard time setting Boundaries. Because we want to "show up," "GSD," "help our boss/colleague/friend." "Wow! You have 3 young kids!? But you're always so responsive and available!?" #SuperMom? We want to prove we can do anything. Because "I don't want anyone to think I'm not dedicated/committed/incapable...." But, we can't do everything. Hate to break it to ya. But no one can do everything. And if it looks like they can, just know they are sacrificing something. There is ALWAYS something sacrificed. So - if you, too, struggle with over-allowing at work, try taking this small step to set your first Boundaries: 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀. Just like in your personal life, what you are willing to accept is what you will receive. Establish working hours (including reading emails and responding to chats.) Communicate this Boundary to your team and colleagues. And STICK TO IT. And if you need to be available for truly urgent needs, create an escalation path to eliminate the necessity of constantly "checking in." But, STICK TO IT. I challenge you to try this for one week and see how you feel. I promise you, you will not die. In fact, you'll probably even be MORE effective. But let me know! Save this post and comment below once you've done it. If I can do it, I know you can! #Productivity #Boundaries #WorkLifeBalance 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺.

FIVE lessons I learned to enlist about setting boundaries..... 1. Keeping the promises to myself: -Especially self-care - the workouts and am routine are scheduled. -Giving it a "why" that I can rally for in the early mornings, when I don't feel like it: 🙌 I remind myself that when I workout and get my routine in, I am a better coach, leader, friend and especially wife. 2. Stop reacting to the day: This one is BIG -No emails or responding for the 1st hour of the day (at a minimum). -We teach people how to treat us by reacting to all of the concerns, being constantly available. -Picking up the phone every time that person calls to complain and immediately answering emails all create a lack of boundaries. -Set time aside for responding has been impactful to taking swift action on projects and what's most important. 🎯 It also give space to be fully engaged when I do respond. 👀 You can tell by looking at someone's calendar how they own the day. -Is it filled with others meeting notices or is time blocked for the top needle-moving activities? (been there, make the move, it is HUGE) 3. Respect others boundaries too: -Understand what others boundaries are, be on-time, prepared and keep commitments to them. -When we are late or unprepared, consistently, we are not respecting others. -Show-up with consistent energy to inspire others. 4. Communicate Clearly: -Effective communication is key to setting boundaries. -Being clear, upfront, on availability, preferred methods of communication, and what I actually need to be successful. -Being vulnerable on what's important to me. 5. Give GRACE! -When I do these things consistently....still, there will be off-days occasionally. -Be proud of the commitment and progress, celebrate that! -Then, recalibrate and get back to it the next day. I hope these support you too! Curious what you would add as your tips for setting boundaries? Share below 👇

Hey 🙋🏽♀️ Friends~ As I journey through life, I have come to appreciate the significance of saying no and being told no in communication. It's not always easy, but I've learned that "no" holds tremendous power, and understanding its value is essential for personal growth and healthier relationships. Here are three vital insights I've gained about the power of "no": ✅ Respect Boundaries: Saying no allows me to assert my boundaries confidently. By expressing my limits, I respect myself and communicate to others that I value my well-being and emotional space. Conversely, when someone says no, I've learned to respect their boundaries, acknowledging the importance of allowing them to set limits that feel right for them. ✅ Prioritize Well-Being: It's essential to recognize that saying no isn't a sign of weakness or selfishness; instead, it's an act of self-care and prioritizing my well-being. Sometimes, I must decline commitments or invitations to avoid overextending myself, protecting my mental and emotional health. ✅ Foster Mutual Understanding: Accepting "no" gracefully is vital for nurturing mutual understanding. When I respect someone's declining decision, I value their autonomy and perspective. Respecting others' decisions creates space for empathy and compassion, even when our viewpoints differ. "No" is not a word to fear or avoid. Instead, it's a powerful tool for personal growth and healthier connections with others. By embracing the power of "no" in communication, I've learned that I am empowered and can achieve healthier relationships. Celebrate the strength of "no" and create spaces where open and honest communication can flourish. Remember to Be Anchored in Love!💜 ~Dr. Tiphanie