How to reframe gender gap discussions

Things We Can Do to Actually Make an Impact This IWD (And no, cupcakes aren’t it.) 1. Check Your Bias & Change Your Language Gender bias is real, and the words we use matter. Here are some actual things I’ve heard in conversations or have been said directly to me 🙃: 🚩 “Women don’t want leadership positions; they want to stay home with their kids.” 🚩 “If women wanted leadership positions, they’d be in them.” 🚩 “We can’t give a board seat to a woman right now because there aren’t many left, and we might need to bring our HR person on eventually - so we’ll tick the box then.” 🚩 “Equality is the hot topic with the boys at the moment.” 🚩 “I’m not biased in my hiring process.” (Proceeds to only hire from select private boys' schools.) 🚩 “She only got the role because she’s the token female.” 🚩 “She’s only been successful in business because she shows her body online.” If you’ve ever said or thought anything like this - it’s time to rethink and do better. 2. Acknowledge the State of Inequality Some key stats: 📉 The gender pay gap is 21.8%. (For every $1 a man makes, a woman earns 78c.) ⏳ At this rate, gender equality is still 100 years away. 💰 Women retire with 25% less super than men. 🧹 Women do 8 more hours of unpaid domestic work each week than men. (That’s 416 extra hours per year!) 💸 Only 4% of investor capital goes to all-female founding teams. 🏢 Women make up just 22% of CEOs and 37% of key management roles. (Meaning men still hold 63% of decision-making power.) (Sadly this list is in reality much longer than 6 points) 3. Do Something About It This does not mean making the women in your office order cupcakes, organise a morning tea, and clean up afterward. 🙃 We need to actually TAKE ACTION. And before you say, “I would, but I have a responsibility for my P&L…” - businesses with higher female representation perform better financially. (AKA more $$$ to your bottom line) You can also start making an impact at home. 👉 If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, ask yourself: * Are both of your careers valued equally? * How are you sharing the mental load? * Are responsibilities at home divided fairly? I know - these aren’t always easy conversations. But they matter.

Why are women still taken less seriously, even when they’re saying the same thing as a man? In Japan, gender roles are deeply rooted, so this question hits especially hard. Mary Ann Sieghart’s book, "The Authority Gap," is extraordinary. I found myself saying OMG to myself, again and again. It’s one of the most insightful books I’ve read on gender and power. It explains how men are assumed to have authority, while women must earn it, repeatedly. Even highly competent women are interrupted more,  doubted more, and promoted less. It’s not because they lack confidence. It’s because the world is still framed To see leadership and credibility as male by default. And it’s not just men doing this. Women are also socialized into these norms and may unconsciously judge other women through a male lens. That’s what makes the authority gap so persistent: we’ve all internalized it. And that's why we need to talk about it openly. In Japan, these dynamics often show up quietly, but clearly. ▪️ In meetings, women are still asked to take notes, even when they outrank others. ▪️ Assertive women are called “too strong,” “emotional,” or “not feminine enough.” ▪️ Female experts are rarely featured in the media, even when equally or more qualified. ▪️ Women often adjust tone, wording, even appearance, just to be heard. ▪️ Even other women may second-guess them, without realizing it. This isn’t just about visibility. It’s about who gets heard. And who we’re conditioned to believe. The good news? We can close the gap. Sieghart argues we can do it within a generation—if we take action. That starts by questioning how we define authority. ✔️ Pause and really listen when a woman speaks. ✔️ Focus on the content, not style ✔️ Reflect on your instinctive reactions—who you trust, and why. ✔️ Redesign leadership norms so women don’t have to mimic men to be respected. In Japan, especially, this means creating space for diverse expressions of power. It means shifting from “changing how women act” to reframing what authority looks like. Have you seen this dynamic in your workplace? Would love to hear your reflections, especially in the context of Japan. ---------------------------------------------------------- I help brands evaluate, enter, grow, and succeed in Japan.  Follow Timothy Connor here for regular insights.

A man was hired over a woman. Following 7 rounds of interviews. When the woman (my friend) asked why she missed out on the role, she got a vague response: → They were equally qualified → Both performed well → It was neck and neck So… what tipped the balance? Eventually, she got the answer: He asked for more money. That’s it. They said his negotiation showed “Commercial instinct.” “Confidence.” “Leadership potential.” They didn’t offer him more because he was better. They decided he was better because he asked for more. Her hesitation was seen as a lack of belief in herself. That’s why when clients ask me, “Should I negotiate?” I say: Always. Not just for the money but for what it signals. And here’s why it matters: 🔹 Only 34% of women negotiate their salary, compared to 61% of men (Source: LinkedIn Gender Insights Report) 🔹 The gender pay gap is 14.3% (and it widens dramatically for women over 40.) Ladies, it's time to close that gap: 1. Don’t pitch a number first. Pitch your value. → Frame the conversation around impact: → “Here’s what I’ve delivered…” → “Here’s the commercial value I’ve driven…” 2. Price your potential not your past. → You’re not being hired to repeat what you’ve done. → You’re being hired for what you’ll do next. 3. Do your research. Then ask for more. → Benchmark your role, level, and industry. → Use tools like Glassdoor. 4. Use the ‘Bracketing’ Technique. → Offer a range so you can negotiate. → "I’d expect something in the $150–$180K range.” 5. Own your worth. Out loud. → If you downplay your value, people will believe you. → Negotiation is not arrogance but it takes practice. It isn’t just about pay. It’s about perception. And perception shapes outcomes. Have you ever wished you asked for more money?

I was recently asked how I thought we could build better male allyship, and I offered my two cents. It would have been a whole dollar if I had more time 😉 ... Allyship isn’t passive—it’s active, visible, and intentional. Male counterparts can be powerful agents of change when they recognize the privilege of their position and choose to use it to open doors, amplify #women’s voices, and challenge inequity in real-time—not just in meetings, but also in breakrooms, briefings, and promotional decisions. Women have shared stories where male leaders made a critical difference—not by “rescuing” them, but by advocating for fair treatment, equitable opportunities, and inclusion. That kind of #leadership builds trust and shifts culture. Here’s what #allyship can look like: ✔️ Listening without defensiveness. Male allies must listen deeply, seeking to understand women’s lived experiences even when they challenge the status quo. ✔️ Calling in, not just calling out. When a woman’s idea is ignored but repeated by a man and praised, an ally can speak up: “That’s what Melissa just said. Let’s build on her point.” Small actions like that reinforce respect and visibility. ✔️ Mentoring and sponsoring women. It’s not enough to offer advice. True allies advocate for women in the rooms where decisions are made. For example, “He didn’t just mentor me—he told people I was ready when I wasn’t in the room.” ✔️ Challenging the culture—not the individual woman. Some male colleagues unknowingly perpetuate bias through jokes, locker room banter, or assumptions about leadership style. Real allies address those behaviors with their peers—because silence is complicity. To #inspire male advocates, we need to reframe the conversation. Equity is not a “women’s initiative”—it’s a leadership imperative. Being an ally isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, practice, and purpose. When our male allies lead with humility and use their platform to elevate women, they help change not just careers—but entire cultures. Stay inspired. Be intentional.