How to Approach Sensitive Gender Topics

In my efforts to be gender-affirming and identity-affirming, which can foster psychological safety, I often begin the session by sharing my pronouns. I also intentionally ask the person I am holding space for if they use pronouns that they would like me to be aware of and honor during our time together. I don’t ask, “What are your pronouns?” because I’ve learned that not everyone chooses to use pronouns as another imposed label, and I respect that. I also avoid saying, “What are your preferred pronouns?” because I’ve learned that for some people who are gender-minoritized and frequently misgendered, pronouns are not a preference, but rather an integral part of who they are. I respect this nuance. When someone says, “I use we and thay,” I understand this as a way of distancing themselves from the “he” in “she/they,” just as there is male in female. This response sparks curiosity in me, without ridiculing or trivializing their way of self-identifying. I have also met people who use all pronouns as a way of rejecting the gender binary, and I respect that too. If I don’t fully understand something, I ask questions so that I can avoid making the wrong assumptions or misaddressing them. We don’t have to wait for #PrideMonth to humanize and normalize conversations about psychological safety. We cannot authentically cultivate safe therapeutic alliances if we do not respect people’s self-determination to identify in ways that are meaningful and empowering to them. It doesn’t always have to make sense to us as service providers and we don’t have to demonize what we don’t fully understand. Our job is to hold space and bear witness, not to center ourselves or trivialize others’ identities. What are your thoughts about pronouns? How do you approach the topic? P/S: Please only engage if you can dialogue with non-judgmental compassion, respect, humility, and conscious curiosity. My space has zero tolerance for willful ignorance and bigotry, and it’s also not a space for deflection and projection. In Communal solidarity, Shayla S. Dube, MSW, RCSW-S Wellness Empowered Counselling & Consulting Inc

Even with the best intentions, mistakes can still happen, resulting in misgendering or using the wrong name with a patient or client. When this happens, it is vital not to ignore it and to make AMENDS. I have come up with this handy little acronym to help remember the steps to take to rebuild trust/rapport and move forward with providing quality care. A - Acknowledge the mistake M - Make an apology if necessary E - Edit or rephrase N - Navigate consent D - Drive forward S - Sustain By following this process, you can ensure you are doing what you can to respect your patient or client. As gatekeepers to health, this approach can help keep Trans and Non-Binary people engaged in care instead of unintentionally pushing us out. #LGBTHealthcare #TransHealth #QueerHealth #InclusiveCare #LGBTWellness #EqualityInHealthcare #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQInclusion #transgender #nonbinary #health #wellness #healthcare #publichealth #sexualhealth #training #resources

The most powerful inclusion often feels like... nothing at all. 🤔 I joined a cricket club recently when they needed extra players. They had a reputation for being queer-friendly (check ✅), but I still prepared for the usual - being called "lady" and "girl" throughout the match. Just the standard experience. What actually happened was refreshing. The coach (a man in his late twenties) simply used they/them pronouns for me from the start. No fanfare. No visible discomfort. Most importantly, no making my gender the focus of the day. That day, I was just a cricketer. Not someone people had to tread carefully around. In my DEI work, I've consistently noticed that genuine inclusion creates this sense of ease, the absence of friction for the included person. We absolutely need to recognise differences and address the unique barriers people face. That awareness is essential. But there's also tremendous value in the "no fuss" approach once that awareness exists. Instead of making my gender the main story, the coach's approach allowed me to be just another team member there to play cricket. This balance creates true belonging. Sometimes our discomfort around difference creates more awkwardness for the people we're trying to include. With good intentions, people overcompensate by only talking to me about their queer relatives, the gay wedding they attended, how challenging they find singular "they," or by repeatedly apologising for saying "ladies" or "girls." I suspect Sarah (pictured), who recruited me, had properly prepared the team beforehand, enabling the coach's straightforward approach. This created an environment where my identity was respected without becoming the focus of every interaction. Building environments where difference is both recognised AND normalised should be the goal. And sometimes that means being comfortable with occasionally getting it wrong without making that the new centre of attention. The sweet spot: seeing the barriers, removing them, then focusing on what brings us together. #PracticalInclusion #InclusiveLeadership #CricketForAll