Building Authentic Connections During Difficult Times

One of the most significant responsibilities as a leader is to model the way. Your team pays attention to you, perhaps more than you realize, including what you say, how you react and the decisions you make. In difficult times, more than ever, it’s important to balance people and performance. Your success as a leader during tough times will depend on many things but at the top of that list are things like empathy, transparency, and balance. Leaders who demonstrate empathy tend to foster greater commitment and effort. Empathy in these situations is a lot about being self aware both cognitively and emotionally. What is your team feeling? What is your team thinking? It’s about being sensative to the environment to protect the culture. In addition to being empathetic, leaders must also demonstrate transparency. In difficult times leaders sometimes shrink back and hold back what they share with their teams and although there is such a thing as too much transparency, it’s important to be open and honest with your team. Embrace uncertaintity. Leaders can become unauthentic when they are faking a certaintity that isn’t there. You can give out hope without making things up. In the end your team isn’t looking for guarantees they are wanting to know that you will support them throughout the uncertainty. Lastly, balance is another attribute leaders must possess in rough waters. Providing balance in your approach and feedback with your team is needed more than ever. You need to create a sense of safety as much as possible, but also acknowledge the situation is both volatile and chaotic. Acknowledge the inherent uncertainty but help people feel safe. Support people most effectively by allowing them to feel both secure and informed. It’s a mixed message to be sure, but authenticity is important so that people trust you and feel empowered. Almost anyone can lead through good times but helping your team feel supported in difficult times is a true test of a good leader. Being authentic by showing empathy, transparency and balance are just some of the ways to come out of those difficult times with a stronger team. #leadership

On communication styles: Disarm to create safety. I actually view disarming as influencing someone to like you more than they intended to at that given moment :) Not manipulation, but focusing first on the good when the bad is so obvious. In our family, the tough conversations always have distractions to make the hard words easier to deliver and receive. A puzzle. A board game. A walk. Where being together is the center - not the tough words. My daughter when speaking on her behavior? “Let’s go outside and play a board game.” You’re catching on, kiddo. We all can draw the parallels to business - having radical candor and caring enough about that person to tell them the truth. ⭐️ The hard conversations are always evolutions. Start with assuming positive intent - when you care about something, it’s easy to throw up defenses instead of seeking to understand. ⭐️ How do you handle the relationship building moments at work?

6 words are all it takes to open the door to meaningful connection “How are things going for you?” That’s it. Getting genuinely curious about the experiences of others is a powerful quality to bring as a leader, a colleague— or in any relationship you hold with another human. …Ask when times are hard, especially if you’re a bit scared of what people might say …Ask when you’re not sure if you’re doing it all right, it’s an opportunity to learn and adjust …Ask when trust has been broken, it’s an opportunity to repair and mend …Ask when times are good, you might get a few nuggets of gold to carry forward for the future But mostly importantly, listen to what people really have to say and then affirm their experience. You don’t have to agree but you do have to acknowledge. This is where the connection magic happens. There’s so much value in being with someone, hearing their experience, affirming it and internalizing it.

Ways to Avoid Sounding Defensive in Conversations Have you ever caught yourself getting defensive during a conversation—especially at work? It’s a challenge many of us face, but there are practical ways to promote more open, growth-focused dialogue. Here are strategies to help shift from defense to genuine connection: Acknowledge the Other Perspective Instead of: “That’s not what I meant. You misunderstood me.” Try: “I see how that could come across that way. Let me clarify what I intended.” Take Responsibility When Appropriate Instead of: “It wasn’t my fault. I did everything right.” Try: “You’re right, I could have handled that differently. Here’s what I’ll try next time.” Ask Clarifying Questions Instead of: “Why are you blaming me for this?” Try: “Can you help me understand which part was most concerning for you?” Express Willingness to Learn or Improve Instead of: “I already know how to do this; I don’t need more feedback.” Try: “Thanks for your input. Is there a specific area where you think I could improve?” Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements Instead of: “You’re always criticizing what I do.” Try: “I feel discouraged when I only get feedback on what went wrong. Can we also discuss what’s working?” Let’s build stronger teams by listening, reflecting, and growing—one conversation at a time! #CommunicationSkills #ProfessionalGrowth #MindfulLeadership Feel free to share your tips or experiences below!

🔥 Radical leaders don't avoid difficult conversations. They transform them. The most courageous act in leadership? Not the big presentation. Not the tough budget call. Not the strategic pivot. It's sitting across from someone and speaking truth with kindness when every instinct tells you to run. I've coached C-suite leaders who'd rather resign than have a five-minute conversation about performance. I've lived this personally. The conversations I feared most became the moments that defined my leadership. Truth: Psychological safety isn't built on avoiding hard truths. It is built on how we deliver them. 3 principles that transform difficult conversations: 1️⃣ Lead with curiosity, not conclusion. "I noticed X and I'm curious about what's happening" opens doors that "You did X wrong" slams shut. This works across differences. When we're curious, we create belonging. 2️⃣ Honor the whole human. Before addressing what someone did, acknowledge who they are. The most inclusive teams remember: Performance is just one dimension of a multidimensional human. 3️⃣ Make it safe to be uncomfortable. The best leaders don't minimize tension. They normalize it. "This conversation might feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. We'll navigate it together." Your team isn't waiting for a perfect leader. They're waiting for a real one. 👇 What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? What might be possible if you transformed it instead? In Community and Conversation, 🧡 Jim P.S. My August calendar for "Courageous Conversations" has three spots remaining for leaders ready to build truly inclusive teams. Message me for details. Book an introductory meeting at the link in my Bio.

I remember once sitting on a flight having a benign conversation about work with my seatmate when a finger tapped me on the shoulder. A feisty blond woman said she heard me mention SoulPancake. She wanted to tell me how our content affected her, especially as she navigated a hard period in her life. She was flying home to say goodbye to her mom, who was passing away. She was a mess. It was awkward. But it happened that I had just lost my granddad. I leaned in. And we were suddenly messes together on a random short-leg Southwest Airlines flight. Needless to say, Shay Bolton and I became fast friends. We have had spa days together (see photo), she was there when my husband proposed, I hired her to help with our new office search, and even after she moved to NYC, our unicorn bonds stayed tight. A moment of awkward discomfort led to a vulnerable, meaningful connection and a friendship that I treasure. And that's a formula I find repeats itself again and again: Discomfort → Vulnerability → Connection Meaning, there's no way to form meaningful connections without being vulnerable, and vulnerability requires a level of discomfort that most of us don't enjoy experiencing. So next time someone asks, ‘How are you?’, perhaps consider a response besides "I’m fine." "I’m busy." "I’m good, just a little stressed." Perhaps consider actually saying the uncomfortable thing. Stuff like, "My dad just got diagnosed with cancer. He's my best friend, and I don't know what to do." Or "I'm struggling with infertility, and I just want a baby, but maybe it's not in the cards for me." Or, in my case: "I feel uncertain about my career and a bit confused professionally - I'm just not sure what the universe is trying to tell me." It's uncomfortable to say out loud the really hard things. We are afraid that people will lean away, wave their hands, and say, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a lot that you just put on me." Some people may. But we won't find people willing to lean in, like my friend Shay, unless we are willing to risk that uncomfortable sense of uncertainty. Who is someone you have a connection with, thanks to the discomfort of being vulnerable? #Discomfort #Vulnerability #Connection

Every major breakthrough in your life is waiting behind a hard conversation. Most people avoid them. And you shouldn't. Here's how I make hard conversations easy: ↓ 1. The Opportunity: Hard conversations are doors to opportunity. • Clarity on misunderstandings • Deeper connections • New business deals • New relationships Avoiding them keeps you stuck. 2. Facing Fear: The fear of conflict is normal. My first step was acknowledging my fear. I felt anxious and avoided confrontation. Then I realized: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but taking action despite it. 3. The Breakthrough: I remember a time I had to confront a difficult employee about basic expectations after consistently coming in out of uniform. It was nerve-wracking as a new, young manager. But the result led to mutual respect. Curiosity and seeking understanding lay a great foundation. 4. Framework for Success: Here’s my framework for having hard conversations: • Be present. • Prepare your points. • Approach with empathy. • Focus on solutions, not blame. This approach transforms conflict into constructive dialogue. 5. Growth from Discomfort: In my career, I've seen the biggest growth spurts after tough talks. • Negotiating better deals • Resolving team conflicts • Connecting deeper with family • Aligning with clients’ expectations Each uncomfortable talk strengthened my resolve and relationships. 6. Personal Story: One of my hardest conversations was with my wife about balancing work and family. It wasn’t easy, but it brought us closer and improved my quality of life. Remember, vulnerability fosters connection. 7. Practical Tips: Here are practical tips to ease into hard conversations: • Stay calm and composed. • Be aware of your emotions. • Listen more than you speak. • Follow up after the conversation. These tips ensure the discussion is productive and respectful. 8. Embrace the Challenge: Avoiding hard conversations keeps you in your comfort zone. Embracing them leads to growth, both personally and professionally. Challenge yourself to face them head-on. 9. Closing Thought: Next time you're faced with a tough conversation, remember: Everything you want is on the other side of it. Lean in, be brave, and watch your world expand. Let’s Connect: ↓ Got a hard conversation you’re avoiding? 💬 Had a hard conversation impact your life? 💬 Share your story or experience below. ↓ ♻️ Smash that repost button! ♻️ Follow me for more insights and tips! 🔔 Then hit the bell—never miss a post 🔔 P.S. Are you following Brain Apes yet? ↓

In over two decades of navigating both business and personal landscapes, one lesson stands out starkly: the undeniable power of engaging in tough conversations. Whether it's with clients, team members, or even within our families, addressing hard topics head-on is crucial. 🗣️ Why We Need to Embrace Difficult Dialogues Transparency Builds Trust: When we shy away from difficult discussions, misunderstandings fester, and suspicions grow. Being open and honest clears the air and builds a foundation of trust. Discomfort Leads to Growth: Yes, these conversations can be uncomfortable, even tense. But growth and comfort do not coexist. Embracing the discomfort can lead to significant breakthroughs in relationships and business strategies. Prevent Misinformation: Without clear communication, people often assume the worst. Proactive dialogue prevents misinformation and aligns everyone’s understanding and expectations. 📌 Practical Steps to Engage Effectively: Prepare Thoughtfully: Before initiating a tough conversation, know what you want to achieve. Be clear on the facts and understand the emotional landscape. Listen Actively: This isn’t just about you talking. Listen to the other side, really hear their perspective, and respond thoughtfully. Follow Through: Post-conversation, take agreed-upon actions promptly. This demonstrates commitment and respect for the outcomes of the discussion. 🚀 The Outcome: After the initial discomfort, there’s a collective sigh of relief. Clarity and progress follow. It’s like clearing the air—suddenly, everyone can breathe easier and move forward with renewed energy and understanding. 👥 Invite to Connect: I challenge you to step into these conversations, not step away from them. Have you found tough conversations to be beneficial in your professional or personal life? Share your experiences below or reach out to discuss how we can foster a culture of openness and resilience. #Leadership #Communication #BusinessStrategy #ProfessionalGrowth #ZeevWexler #leadership

Starting a difficult conversation at work can feel really intimidating and overwhelming. You know it’s necessary, but where do you even begin without causing more issues? 🤔 Thing is, having these conversations is crucial for a healthy workplace. As much as you may want to avoid them, we need them. The good news is, there are ways we can navigate these conversations in a healthy and productive way. So, here are tips to initiate challenging convos: 🎯 Prepare yourself. Before diving in, take some deep breaths to calm your nervous system and a moment to reflect on your goals for the conversation. What is your intention and the ideal outcome? What other ways could this turn out? How can you cope with an outcome that is different from your vision? Going in with a level of clarity in your own mind can lead to a more focused and effective discussion. 🕒 Choose the right time and place. Timing is everything. Find a private, neutral setting where both parties feel comfortable and are less likely to be interrupted. 🗣️ Be clear and direct. Clearly and calmly state the issue but do so with respect and understanding. This can help lower guards and reduce misunderstandings. 🤝 Focus on solutions. Approach the conversation with a solution-oriented mindset instead of just showing up with more problems to call out. I always like to have some ideas of my own and make sure I open the door to hear theirs as well. When you can listen actively to their side, rather than pointing fingers, it encourages a more productive and less defensive dialogue. 🌱 Follow up. After the conversation, check in with the other person. This can help show you’re committed to ongoing support and resolving the issue together. Difficult conversations are part of growth personally and professionally and help us to create a psychologically safe workplace. By approaching them thoughtfully, we can turn challenges into opportunities for understanding and collaboration. 👇 Have you had to start a tough conversation at work? How did you approach it? Share your experiences and tips! Creating norms around difficult conversations tends to come up in our Psychological Safety training programs. DM me to learn more! 🖤 Create a great day! #MakoMindfulness #MindfulnessTraining #StressManagement #PsychologicalSafety #TrainingAndDevelopment #StaffDevelopment