Best Ways to Handle a Disgruntled Team Member

🔥 How to Handle a Difficult Conversation as a Leader 🔥 Difficult conversations are one of the toughest parts of leadership but also one of the most important. The key isn’t just delivering bad news and walking away, but staying engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. I recently wrote about this in my Harvard Business Review article, “How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn’t Meeting Expectations,” where I shared strategies to turn these moments into opportunities for growth. As an executive coach and advisor, I work with leaders navigating these conversations every day. Here are four things to keep in mind to make the discussion more productive: 👉 Set the stage for collaboration Approach it as a partnership. Start with alignment: “My goal is to provide clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development.” 👉 Encourage self-reflection Invite them to assess their own performance. “Looking back, what’s working well? What would you improve?” This helps shift the mindset from blame to growth. 👉 Deliver feedback with clarity Be specific and avoid ambiguity. Focus on observed behaviors, not assumptions. Instead of “You’re not engaged,” say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings, and team members think you are disconnected.” 👉 Reset expectations and look ahead Frame the conversation around the future. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “How would you handle this situation differently next time?” Difficult conversations don’t have to feel like confrontations. When approached with preparation, empathy, and a focus on growth, they can be transformative strengthening both performance and trust. Please share in the comments, what strategies have helped you navigate tough conversations? ⬇️ 📖 Read my full HBR article here: https://lnkd.in/eMuV9eWp #Leadership #Coaching #Feedback #FutureOfWork #GrowthMindset #Careers #Thinkers50 #Coach #Professor #Advisor #MG100 #BestAdvice #JennyFernandez

Stop fearing difficult conversations. Master them them with these 21 phrases: I used to run from conflict. Even with the best intentions, I’d freeze, shut down, or over-explain. Avoidance? It cost me trust. Clarity. Connection. I eventually learned: Silence doesn’t protect relationships — presence does. If you want to lead with heart, you have to show up— especially when it’s uncomfortable. 221 ways Emotionally Intelligent leaders handle tough conversations with grace: 1) Ground Yourself ↳ "Let me take a breath before we dive in" ↳ Regulating yourself regulates the room 2) Speak from the 'I' ↳ "I feel..." not "You always..." ↳ Language shapes energy 3) Ask, Don’t Assume ↳ "What’s most important to you here?" ↳ Curiosity over judgment 4) Honor the Human ↳ "I care about you—this matters" ↳ Connection before correction 5) Stay With Discomfort ↳ "This feels hard—and that’s okay" ↳ Growth often feels messy 6) Reflect Instead of React ↳ "Can I take a moment before I respond?" ↳ Response > Reaction 7) Use Silence Strategically ↳ Pause. Let things land. ↳ Space invites truth 8) Call Out Courage ↳ "Thanks for being honest with me" ↳ Vulnerability deserves recognition 9) Keep the Bigger Picture in View ↳ "Let’s remember why we’re here" ↳ Shared purpose realigns 10) Zoom In ↳ "What exactly are we solving?" ↳ Specifics defuse drama 11) Offer Reassurance ↳ "We’ll figure this out together" ↳ Confidence is contagious 12) De-escalate with Empathy ↳ "That makes sense—you’re not alone" ↳ Validation cools the fire 13) Ask for Feedback ↳ "How could I have handled this better?" ↳ Openness invites openness 14) Check for Emotion ↳ "How are you feeling right now?" ↳ Feelings often speak louder than facts 15) Break it Into Steps ↳ "Let’s take this one piece at a time" ↳ Simplicity calms chaos 16) Share What You’re Learning ↳ "This is teaching me a lot" ↳ Humility connects 17) Own the Outcome ↳ "Here’s what I commit to doing" ↳ Integrity builds trust 18) Repeat What Matters ↳ "Just to be clear, you’re saying…" ↳ Listening is leadership 19) Choose the Right Time ↳ "Is now a good time for this talk?" ↳ Timing shapes tone 20) Close With Care ↳ "I appreciate you talking this through" ↳ Endings leave lasting impressions 21) Keep the Door Open ↳ "Let’s keep this dialogue going" ↳ Safety means being available Hard conversations aren’t supposed to be easy. They’re designed to transform us. Approach them with presence (not force). ♻️ Please repost to promote presence over avoidance. 🙂 Follow Marco Franzoni for more.

Over the past 5 years I learned how to make confrontation a conversation. For years, I avoided confrontation. It was uncomfortable, and I wanted to be liked. I was very immature in my thinking. So, I’d ignore the tough topics, let things slide, and convince myself that keeping the peace was worth more than speaking up. But here’s the truth: that mindset held me back, both personally and professionally. When I stopped avoiding confrontation, I started seeing massive growth. Here’s why addressing confrontation is smart and GOOD for business: 🟢 Prevents Miscommunication: Avoiding confrontation can cause misunderstandings to fester. When you address things head-on, you clear the air and ensure everyone’s on the same page. 🟢 Fosters Trust: People appreciate honesty. Even if the conversation is difficult, addressing issues with integrity shows you respect both yourself and your colleagues. 🟢 Drives Progress: Problems don’t disappear when we ignore them. In fact, they often get bigger. By addressing them directly, we create opportunities for real solutions and growth. Now, let’s talk about how to do this tactfully. Cause the HOW is huge when it comes to this. When I talk about confrontation, I don’t mean a heated debate so you have to be thoughtful in your approach. Here are 5 ways to turn confrontation into a productive conversation in the workplace: 1️⃣ Start with Empathy: Understand the other person’s point of view first. Approach the conversation with curiosity, not blame. 2️⃣ Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Address behaviors or outcomes, not character flaws. Keep it solution-focused. 3️⃣ Use "I" Statements: Own your feelings. For example, “I feel frustrated when…” vs. “You always…” 4️⃣ Stay Calm & Collected: Keep your emotions in check. If needed, take a breather before speaking. 5️⃣ Offer Solutions: Confrontation without a path forward is just complaining. Be ready to suggest ways to move forward. Other things to consider are the when, where and with whom. Try to time the conversation well and determine the best medium. Maybe Slack isn’t the best mechanism for this type of conversation. Lastly, think about who’s in the room. Think about whether or not this should be a private conversation or if it’s better suited for and with a group. Next time you’re facing confrontation, remember: it’s not about winning, it’s about growing. Don’t shy away from these conversations—they’ll make you, your team, and your business stronger.

Want to stop triggering defensive reactions in critical conversations? Brain science reveals a simple technique that's transforming how top companies communicate: As an executive coach, this is the first thing I teach founders who are struggling with critical relationships. Why? Because it's consistently the most powerful tool for transforming toxic communication into productive dialogue. When you're fighting with your co-founder, your brain's threat response system activates. This shuts down the exact parts of your brain needed for effective communication. But there's a way to keep those neural pathways open. It's called speaking inarguably - using only facts that can't be disputed. Instead of "You don't care about this company" (judgment) Say "When you missed our last three meetings, I felt worried about our partnership" (fact) The first triggers defense mechanisms. The second creates psychological safety. There are two types of inarguable statements: • External facts: Observable behaviors, metrics, documented events • Internal facts: Your sensations, emotions, thoughts ("I feel frustrated") I've seen this technique help to transform toxic co-founder relationships into thriving partnerships more times than I can count. Here's how to start: 1. Pause before responding to emotionally charged situations 2. Strip away interpretations, focus only on observable facts ("You arrived 15 minutes late" vs "You're disrespectful") 3. Own your internal experience ("I felt anxious when that happened" vs "You're stressing everyone out") 4. Practice radical honesty about your feelings (This builds trust faster than pretending to be perfect) The hardest part? Letting go of being right. Your interpretations might feel true, but they're just stories you're telling yourself. This is where inner work meets leadership. When you master this, difficult conversations become growth opportunities. Your leadership emerges naturally from who you are, not who you think you should be.