Addressing the "Angry Black Woman" Stereotype at Work

"I don't see color," she began, stirring her coffee. I nearly choked on mine. My friend continued, "I don't understand why you're so angry." Words tumbled out—her discomfort grew palpable as she tried to sidestep an uncomfortable truth: her privilege was showing—guilt was setting in. Then came the moment—eyes wide, hand over mouth: "OMG, I'm just did it, didn't I?" "OMG I'm so..." And there it was—the "Angry Black Woman (ABW)" stereotype lurking just beneath the surface of even the most well-intentioned conversations. This is the double-bind that women of color face every day. The ABW stereotype isn't just offensive—it's strategic. It creates an impossible situation: Speak up? Risk being dismissed as "angry" or "difficult." Stay silent? Watch inequities persist unchallenged. This tightrope forces constant self-regulation. Every email scrutinized for tone. Every meeting requiring perfect composure regardless of circumstances. It's exhausting. The real danger? This label follows you. It appears in performance reviews ("not a team player"), recommendation letters ("passionate but challenging"), and whispers between hiring managers. Let's be clear: the "ABW" label has very little to do with anger—it's about control. Here, the goal isn't to avoid showing emotion—it's to communicate authentically while strategically navigating bias. Here are 3 powerful ways to reclaim your voice without apology: 1️⃣ Lead with Data, Not Just Experience When addressing inequities, pair your perspective with concrete examples and statistics. "Our retention rate for women of color is 40% lower than other groups, and here's why that matters to our bottom line..." 2️⃣ Name the Double Standard—Directly Sometimes simple acknowledgment is powerful: "I've noticed when John expresses concern, it's called 'passionate leadership.' When I do the same, different language is used. Can we discuss this pattern?" 3️⃣ Set Strategic Boundaries Choose your battles wisely, but when you do engage, be clear about acceptable treatment. Your boundaries aren't just self-protection—they're a blueprint showing others how professional respect actually works. Here's the bigger picture. Anger is a valid human emotion. For women of color, it's often unfairly weaponized, turning a reaction to inequity into a dismissal mechanism. What's possible? Workplaces where everyone can express themselves freely without fear of labels or repercussions. The result isn't just equity—it's stronger teams and organizations where diverse voices help to drive innovation. The first step is awareness. The next is action. What labels have you witnessed being used to silence voices in your workplace? And what are you doing to dismantle them? Connect with me for more honest conversations about creating truly inclusive professional environments. #WorkingWhileFemale #BreakTheBias #InclusiveLeadership #EquityAtWork #AuthenticLeadership #WomenInTech #AllyshipInAction

In my mission to empower #1MillionWomenBy2030 to sit at the table of their dreams, I hear stories of Black and Brown women facing toxic behaviors in the workplace far too often. One of my coaching clients recently stood up to a toxic, sexist sales leader, and in a heated moment, let her emotions get the best of her—putting her career and reputation at risk. We’ve all been there—facing prejudice, bias, and bullying. It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, and it feels personal. But as women striving to break barriers and rise into leadership, how we handle these situations matters. And we CAN do it in ways that protect our careers and our dignity. Kamala Harris has shown us how to master this in public debates, but her approach offers valuable lessons for the workplace and boardroom, too. ➡️ Here are 5 powerful takeaways from Kamala’s approach that can help us navigate these challenges: 1️⃣ Stay Composed, Stay Powerful: When Kamala faces opposition, she doesn’t lose her cool. She remains calm, collected, and controlled—and that’s exactly how we own the room. When emotions take over, we give away our power. Hold onto yours by staying composed. 2️⃣ Shift the Story: Don’t let a toxic person define the moment. Reframe it by focusing on YOUR value and strength. You are more than their bias, their assumptions, or their behavior. You belong at the table—and you define your story. 3️⃣ Deflect With Grace: Kamala uses humor and calm deflection to shift the narrative. When faced with offensive comments, sometimes a smile or well-placed question is enough to disarm them. You don’t need to feed their fire—show them it’s not even worth your energy. 4️⃣ Address the Behavior with Precision: Call out toxic behavior, but do it wisely. Focus on the issue, not the person. This keeps the conversation professional and shifts the power in your favor. Strategic words can cut deeper than emotional outbursts. 5️⃣ Lead with Solutions: Kamala doesn’t just counter chaos—she presents herself as the alternative. In the workplace, we can lead by showing that WE are the solution, that professionalism and inclusivity drive results. This elevates us beyond the fray. To the women out there facing these battles every day: You are strong, you are capable, and you belong at the table. Don’t let anyone push you off your path. How we navigate these challenges isn’t just about today—it’s about the legacy we build for future generations of women leaders. What strategies have helped you rise above toxic workplace environments? Share your insights and let’s empower each other to keep breaking barriers. #WomenInLeadership #ExecutivePresence #CareerGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #Sales

A lot of Black women have been taught to lead with an apology in professional spaces. To seem less “intimidating.” To be more “palatable.” But let’s be clear: you don’t have to dim your light just to make others feel comfortable. Being direct isn’t rude. Being confident isn’t aggressive. You’re not doing too much, you’re doing what’s necessary. Let’s change the language: ❌ “I’m sorry, I know you’re busy but…” ✅ “When you get a moment, I’d like to discuss [topic].” ❌ “I hate to be a pain, but…” ✅ “Circling back to make sure this stays on track.” ❌ “Just wondering if you had any thoughts on…” ✅ “Do you have feedback on [specific item]?” ❌ “I hope this makes sense…” ✅ “Let me know if you need anything clarified.” ❌ “I don’t mean to overstep, but…” ✅ “Here’s a suggestion I believe could add value.” You’re allowed to speak up without softening every sentence. You deserve to take up space without over-explaining why you’re in the room.

To every Black woman navigating their career without a blueprint—here are some unspoken rules you NEED to know 👇🏾 1️⃣ Feedback ≠ facts. Sometimes people are just projecting their own fears or biases. Learn to trust your gut. If feedback feels off, ask clarifying questions—and don’t be afraid to challenge it. 2️⃣ If you didn’t feel safe challenging authority growing up, it might still be showing up. You may find it hard to question your manager or advocate for your needs. That’s not a personality flaw—that’s conditioning we can unlearn. 3️⃣ Stop putting senior leaders on imaginary pedestals. They’re just people. Treat everyone like your equal and watch your confidence—and your influence—grow. 4️⃣ Let go of the fear of being seen as the Angry Black Woman. If someone sees you that way for simply asserting yourself, the bias was already there. That’s not your burden to carry. 5️⃣ Mutual respect is non-negotiable. Stop tolerating disrespect just to keep the peace. Your boundaries deserve to be honored. _________________ As a Coach who works with Black women in Corporate & Tech, I created the Bold Moves Career Accelerator because too many of us are out here trying to figure it out alone. In this 3-month leadership program, you’ll learn how to: ✔️ Advocate for yourself with confidence ✔️ Strengthen your business acumen and influence in your organization. ✔️ Create a personalized career roadmap that aligns your goals with growth opportunities—so you’re no longer waiting for permission to level up. 📌 Ready to win at work and step into your power as an influential leader? Schedule a coaching consultation today: https://lnkd.in/ezDiq9Cf

The Double Standard of Emotion in Leadership It’s a massive issue how society holds women and Black people to an impossible standard of calmness and composure, especially when advocating for justice or speaking truth to power. We are told not to be "too emotional" or "too angry," as if passion discredits our arguments or invalidates our points. Yet, when white male leaders display the same — or even more — emotion, it's reframed as strength, conviction, or passion. Consider this: Donald Trump has built an entire career on being angry, shouting grievances from podiums. Justice Brett Kavanaugh wept and raged through his Supreme Court confirmation hearing, yet his outbursts were excused, even praised, as evidence of his humanity. These displays of unchecked emotion don’t cost them their credibility — instead, they are often rewarded for it. But let a Black woman raise her voice, let her show frustration at systemic injustices, and the labels come fast: "angry Black woman," "emotional," "intimidating." Let a Black man speak with urgency, and he's "threatening." And let’s be clear: the issue is not that Black women or Black men are intimidating. The issue is that some people have chosen to be intimidated, projecting their own fears, biases, and perceptions of who they think Black people are. Their discomfort isn’t about us — it’s about the stereotypes they carry. Their response to our presence and our voices reveals more about them than it does about us. This double standard isn’t just frustrating; it’s designed to silence us. It says, "Stay quiet, stay pleasant, or we won’t take you seriously." It’s a control tactic to keep women and people of color in line, preventing us from wielding the same force of passion and emotion that white men are not only permitted but encouraged to display. Let’s be clear: emotion is not a weakness. Anger is not a flaw when it comes from a place of truth and justice. Passion is what drives change. If our voices make people uncomfortable, perhaps it’s because they shine a light on injustices too long ignored. Join me in rejecting this double standard. Embrace our voices — loud, passionate, emotional, and unapologetic. The world doesn’t change with silence; it changes when we demand it, even if our demand shakes the room. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us. #SpeakYourTruth #ShakeTheRoom

It’s talent review season, and something that comes up year over year is the word “aggressive.” I’ve been labeled as a ‘bulldog’ (thank you, huge Georgia fan here!), aggressive, ‘drill instructor’ (clear direction, given in a universal language, with extremely high bar, I’ll take it!) and other things that have made me evaluate my leadership, worth, and effectiveness. Research shows that women are significantly more likely to be labeled as aggressive and emotional compared to men—76% of references to being “too aggressive” in performance reviews were directed at women, while 24% were directed at men. 78% of women were described as “emotional” in performance reviews, compared to 11% of men. And if you’re a Black woman? The numbers are even worse. The “angry Black woman” stereotype isn’t just a trope; it has real consequences. It impacts performance evaluations, career progression, and mental well-being. What I have learned and come to accept as the truth: regardless of your gender identity, you don’t have to internalize someone else’s perception of you. Instead of shrinking yourself to fit other people’s comfort levels, focus on leading in a way that aligns with who you truly are. This does require knowing who the * you are. If you’re clear on your values, strengths, and leadership style, outside noise won’t shake you. My take and advice on this: - Not all criticism is created equal. If the feedback isn’t constructive, helpful, or ~>coming from someone you trust<~, let it go. If you wouldn’t go to them for advice, don’t let them come to you with criticism. - Surround yourself with mentors and peers who support you and challenge you in the right ways. “You are the sum of the five people you surround yourself with” is such a true statement! - Don’t compromise your morals or ethics in the face of risk or adversity. Being your authentic self even in times when it’s most difficult will solidify your authenticity. The punchline? Your impact isn’t defined by someone’s mislabeling of your confidence and high bar. You have to be honest with yourself, and if there is truly work to be done, do the work. But take advice as just that, advice. Decide if you truly think the feedback is worth its weight in salt, or should be taken with just a grain. P.S. Earning trust ≠ being nice. More on that later. #earntrust #talentreview #aggressive #impostersyndrome